Boobdarts

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Boobdarts
I've got your hand, boy. You've got my heart.



i rlly wished we lived in a world where politicians saying they’re pro family/family values meant,, like, ‘child abuse needs to be stopped’ or ‘we need to make the foster system better’ and not ‘we’re queerphobic bigots who think LGBT+ people don’t deserve basic human decency’
Capricorn: {read yesterday, 2:17pm}
you know misogyny is real and alive when men start making jokes about KILLING women for not wearing makeup.
Why would you even say something like that…
yeah i would’ve knocked him tf out too lmao
Can we talk about how ALL THE MEN sat there and let that woman be harassed while ever woman in earshot called his as out and finally one knocked him the fuck out.
i want her victory lines to be used in the next mortal kombat game
wait were are all the comments about how violence is wrong and that if you react like that then you’re no better than him
But I wonder how many takes did the “Dean slams Cas against the wall” scene have to go through because Jensen and Misha couldn’t keep a straight face??
bill nye: says some positive things about gender identity and sexuality
some of yall: immediately try to dig up whatever half assed dirt you can find to make a lying callout post because you for whatever reason cannot bare the thought of anyone but lgbt people saying these things
Bill Nye, (on a childrens show that will not let him use the word Sex on PBS): Gender is decided by chromosomes. Bill Nye on his adult-ass TV show: Gender is a spectrum. Y’all: SO NOW YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND???? Like, yes? 20 fucking years. And he’s a SCIENTIST. His JOB is “When I find new information I reassert my stance on this new evidence”
Best part is he never even said gender is decided by chromosomes! The actual clip never mentions gender, and the caption was added by a random person on Twitter (likely as slander).
this is why we can’t have good things.
this one’s for all the fat girls who’ve cried in dressing rooms 💗
You’re fine. The clothes are made to be easy to manufacture on machines, not for bodies. The clothes suck, not you.
They’re also manufactured to look attractive on hangers, and very few of us are shaped like hangers. You’re fine.
😱😰😭😭😭😭😭😭😭thank u please more of this type of body positivity I need it
Legit though! I’m a hobbyist seamstress and these are my experiences when shopping mainstream:
For example, most H&M blouses these days don’t even have boobdarts. Which means they will sit awkwardly on literally anyone with boobs, no matter the size. But on hangers or when folded on display? They look fab as fuck. Because hangers don’t have boobs. And the models chosen to show them on the catwalk are usually chosen for their lack of boobage too (unless it’s for lingerie), other requirements including ridiculous size and weight requirements. As for the average (EU available) clothing shops, the worst offender I’ve encountered yet was Zara. Everything’s way too long and way too flat: clearly aimed to look good on the catwalk models but not intended for normal people. At all.
Also sizes are just numbers. Shopping online has taught me that I’m a European M, an American XS-S, and a Japanese L-XL. And then these sizes even vary from shop to shop in the same country: I’m an XL at Apples but an S at Lola&Liza, for example. They’ve also been reducing the sizes of these numbers throughout the years to make people feel bad about themselves and to sell more weight-loss products. Don’t let a number get you down, it does not define you.
So please don’t feel bad about yourself when shops refuse to cater to your size. The clothes they sell are not aimed at real human beings. They are the ones in the wrong here, not you!

They’ve also been reducing the sizes of these numbers throughout the
years to make people feel bad about themselves and to sell more
weight-loss products.

<- is this a real thing? like, do we have proof?
When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.
She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.
She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.
fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your fingers on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this. 
You asshat, you’re making it sound like she snaps her fingers in half. 
Martial artists like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee (and yes, fucking Ming-Na Wen, that beautiful badass) will build up their bone strength by repeatedly (and fairly gently) striking sand, gravel, wood and steel - this creates tons of microfractures in their bones (smaller than even a hairline fracture) so the bones will heal over again and make the bones stronger and denser with increased deposits of calcium. 
This has to be done over long-ass periods of time, so the bones have time to heal, and none of the fractures expand into actual breaks. 
Oh, and she’s doing precise-ass kicks in HIGH HEELS. 
she kicks ass like a coursing river
Saw this post so many months ago and I still think about it from time to time lol so badass
Had the absolute pleasure of meeting her. She’s indeed a kind-hearted and gorgeous badass.
Men, i’ve been so not on Tumblr in the past months, that i missed tag and everything. Ok so, let’s get back to it.
RULES: Answer the questions and tag nine people you want to get to know better–i really won’t tag anyone because it feels super weird since i’ve mostly disappeared.
FAVORITE COLOR: Reds, bright pinks, bright blues
LIPSTICK OR CHAPSTICK: Lipstick. I discovered liquit matte lipstick and it’s a drug. Also Kat von D makeup just got to Sephora here, and a friend has me hooked on that.
LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: I’m listening to Maiden on Spotify and now Hallowed be thy name is playing <3 love this song. Love Maiden always.
LAST MOVIE I WATCHED: In cinema? Guardians of the Galaxy vol.II which was very good even though not as vol I (ok, yes, i know). But Baby Groot, Drax and Rocket made the movie SO WORTH IT. I’m so here for Baby Groot you have no idea.
TOP THREE SHOWS: Favs of all times: Battlestar Galactica, The Good Wife, Mad Men. (they’re on Netflix, good time to binge!)
TOP THREE CHARACTERS: from shows or what? uhm this is so hard. Like, from tv shows I would say Diane Lockhart (TGW), Charlie from Spn (sigh), and of corse Kara Starbuck Trace from BSG.
TOP THREE SHIPS: Well, that’s easy because despite my name as a crazy shipper (???) i only ship hard very few couples: Destiel, Wolfstar, Willicia. I will add Stony as a bonus because i like it but don’t actively ship it.
BOOKS I’M CURRENTLY READING: Recently finished Dark Currents from that awesome lady that is Jacqueline Carey, and am starting Autumn Bones, which is the second book in the Agent of Hel trilogy THAT YOU ALL SHOULD READ GO READ IT RIGHT NOW because it’s basically SPN with an awesome female lead meeting Gilmore Girls so i don’t see why you’re not reading it yet!!
I TAG: nobody really, feel free to take it.
2 months, 27 days, 22 hours.
And I still wonder. What you’re doing, how do you feel, what makes you laugh these days, what makes you worry, what gives you joy.
Stupidly envious if the ppl who get to talk to you everyday. Jealous of their ability to have a perfectly valid reason to do so.
While I have no reason but a bucket of feelings that won’t go away. No reason but just wanting to hear you smile through the phone, and say nothing at all.
No reason but missing you more that I thought possible.
Finding myself walking on these streets and suddenly realizing that I won’t bump into you anymore, and the word gets a little darker, a little sadder.
And wondering how can I survive the winter.
Still there. Sometimes less painful, sometimes it feels like i’m healed. But i’m not. I still feel like i’m never going to be the same again.
It feels like removing a part of my soul.
I miss you. And i don’t know if there ever is a life when i don’t.



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2018 is the year i finally make whatever memes i want


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i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream
you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”
I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.
new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
Actual conversation I had at register: “Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”
“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”
“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”
“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”
“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”
*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”
At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”
She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”
My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”
Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.
My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”
The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”
My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring. 
The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.
Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never l, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, 
I made a five shot Americano for someone back in my barista days, and I thought HE was insane, now I’m just agog. 
the venti espresso woman was definitely a dragon
i dont know WHY but expresso is the only good coffee, everything else is compost water
@phantom-tastic weirdest customer story?
We used to have this absolutely massive russian man come in every once in a while and order a grande americano with 7 shots of espresso (reg has 3) and it physically pained me to make it every time.
Ive had my fair share of everything-but-the-kitchen-sink frappuccino orders. People would ask us to blend 2, even 3 bananas into their drink… someone asked me to blend a chocolate chunk cookie into theirs once? It wasn’t half bad.
But my favourite weird customer is The Garlic Man. The past couple of months this man has come into our store, absolutely REEKING of raw garlic. He has a salt and pepper beard and an Indiana Jones hat. Orders “An Apple Chai”. That’s not a drink, at least not in sbux Canada. He explains to me it’s a chai tea latte where you substitute the hot water for steamed apple juice.
We make it. He has a southern accent so I ask him if he’s visiting someone for the holidays. Under his breath and with his eyes darting both ways he says
“Yeah you could say Im gonna be here for a while…”
Sits down at the long table in the cafe, where people are working on their laptops. He discreetly proceeds to pull out, from his bag, a chopping board. And some garlic. And a knife. He dices up his own garlic in the cafe and then eats it. We look on in horror.
He comes back and does this 2 or 3 more times before we never see him again.
Yeah, that guy was definitely a vampire hunter.
It has come to my attention that Aquaman (2018) is just a shameless ripoff of the Mattel classic, Barbie: A Mermaid Tale.
We have the child of a mermaid queen and a regular human guy 
who was brought up in the human world as a free spirit,
who is fated to take over the throne of an underwater kingdom (where all the buildings are round and mushroom-y)
which is currently being occupied by an evil, power-hungry relative
And their unique position, straddling the human world and the underwater world, is at first a burden but ends up being their greatest strength
So what you’re saying is, basically, Aquaman is a Barbie Princess. Fair enough.
Growing up fat, you get made fun of for everything you do, even basic shit like eating and laughing and breathing are funny when you do it because youre fat! And its so hard to not carry that with you as you get older, like I’m still embarassed to eat or dance in front of people or smile in pictures and its ridiculous and I hate it and I wish I was treated with more humanity
A woman who realizes her own power is untouchable.
this one’s for all the fat girls who’ve cried in dressing rooms 💗
You’re fine. The clothes are made to be easy to manufacture on machines, not for bodies. The clothes suck, not you.
They’re also manufactured to look attractive on hangers, and very few of us are shaped like hangers. You’re fine.
😱😰😭😭😭😭😭😭😭thank u please more of this type of body positivity I need it
Legit though! I’m a hobbyist seamstress and these are my experiences when shopping mainstream:
For example, most H&M blouses these days don’t even have boobdarts. Which means they will sit awkwardly on literally anyone with boobs, no matter the size. But on hangers or when folded on display? They look fab as fuck. Because hangers don’t have boobs. And the models chosen to show them on the catwalk are usually chosen for their lack of boobage too (unless it’s for lingerie), other requirements including ridiculous size and weight requirements. As for the average (EU available) clothing shops, the worst offender I’ve encountered yet was Zara. Everything’s way too long and way too flat: clearly aimed to look good on the catwalk models but not intended for normal people. At all.
Also sizes are just numbers. Shopping online has taught me that I’m a European M, an American XS-S, and a Japanese L-XL. And then these sizes even vary from shop to shop in the same country: I’m an XL at Apples but an S at Lola&Liza, for example. They’ve also been reducing the sizes of these numbers throughout the years to make people feel bad about themselves and to sell more weight-loss products. Don’t let a number get you down, it does not define you.
So please don’t feel bad about yourself when shops refuse to cater to your size. The clothes they sell are not aimed at real human beings. They are the ones in the wrong here, not you!
All our generation wants is a small apartment and a spouse that loves them back.
work is stupid. when am i going to get a letter in the mail from a mysterious relative i never met before and inherit a rustic castle somewhere in europe?
Live from Lincoln Center 12/31/17
B
Mia Khalifa Deep
The Perfect Naked Girl
Girl Eaten Out