Bondage Extreme
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Bondage Extreme
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.
Ryn Pfeuffer
Ryn Pfeuffer is a queer sex and relationships writer, and over the past two decades, her work has appeared in more than 100 media outlets including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, Shape, The Globe and Mail, The Washington Post, and WIRED.
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Among the 10 most common kinks and fetishes Americans fantasize about, BDSM takes the number one spot. According to a survey by Kinsey Institute researchers and Men's Health advisor Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., 93% of men and 96% of women have desired some aspect of BDSM before—and that includes bondage.
BDSM—an umbrella term that stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadomasochism—is all about consensually playing with power dynamics, and restraining someone with rope, cuffs, silk ties, or other kinds of bondage toys can be a great way to make that happen.
Generally, during bondage play, a Dominant partner will restrain a submissive partner to "make" the sub give or receive sexual pleasure. If you're newer to bondage and BDSM, maybe the Dominant partner binds the submissive's wrists with soft silk ties before trailing kisses all over their body. If you're more experienced, the Dominant partner could tie up their submissive using Shibari (i.e. Japanese rope bondage) techniques and edge them until they beg to have an orgasm ... Or make them wear an open-mouth gag or a chastity cage as form of BDSM punishment ... The list of fun ways to use bondage during sex is endless. (Pssst: Our 4-week kinky sex challenge is jam-packed with ideas for bringing bondage and other forms of BDSM into the bedroom.)
And even if you don't consider yourself someone who's "into" BDSM, you can still incorporate any of these toys into your sex life to spice things up from time to time. With that said, here are 24 of our favorite bondage sex toys.
You can imagine our surprise when we learned these gag lips are marketed as "anti-wrinkling muscle tighteners." Sorry, but no. They are for giving blowjobs and only for giving blowjobs—specifically, where the wearer's mouth is forced to stay open.
If you want to step into the world of bondage rope, this affordable kit is a great place to start. It comes with (1) 30' piece of rope, (2) 15' pieces of rope, EMT safety sheers (left-handed shears available, too), and a two-disc Getting Started DVD set.
Want to get kinky on the quick? Babeland Bondage Tape is a binding miracle. It sticks to itself, but not to skin. Imagine the possibilities: mummy play, skin-tight fetish outfits, light-proof blindfolds—all with no pain (unless, of course, you want some).
If you want to play with restraints, these silky sashes are a luxurious tether for wrapping wrists, ankles, gagging, or use as a blindfold.
Transform any bed into a BDSM playground with this simple restraint set. Pop it under a mattress, adjust the straps, and keep your partner's wrists and ankles exactly where you want them to be.
Slip a blindfold over your eyes, and feel your senses heighten as your partner teases and takes control of your pleasure. Then, take submission one step further by adding wrist restraints to the sexy mix.
An open mouth means open possibilities. This mouth hood takes away a partner's sense of sight and sound and exposes their mouth to naughty options.
Put this collar on your special submissive someone and show off your dominance. Fur lining makes it comfy enough for extended wear; a decorative ring makes it easy to leash your partner for bondage play.
Possess your partner like a prized pet with this bondage collar, then snap the gender-neutral clamps on their nipples for the ultimate combination of pleasure and pain.
These aren't just nipple clamps—they connect to the clitoris, as well. With these, the euphoric pain rushes through your partner's body.
This adjustable, leather-like harness fits a range of female-presenting bodies. It has a choker and chrome hardware and will look fantastic worn alone or beneath your clothing for a more subtle effect.
When it comes to cock rings, vibrating versions can add an extra layer of fun to fucking. Vibrations from the ears are surprisingly strong, delivering a steady stream of pleasure to either a clit or balls, depending upon how you wear it.
An ordinary cock ring or even one that vibrates? Not kinky at all. But one that actually shocks your penis? Yes, that is kinky. (Obviously, please use safely and read our article on electro-stimulation before trying it out.)
For those who are only allowed to orgasm when their master says they can.
Lift your legs or tilt your hips for easy G-spot access with the Enchanted Spreader Bar. This strong, rigid bar has velvety cuffs that make it easy to spread and secure ankles and wrists.
While on the cheaper side for a sex swing , this one still is highly rated on Lovehoney. It's great for couples who don't have a ton of space in their home.
This bondage kit is ideal for couples who are interested in BDSM and pegging . (Make sure to read our tips on how to bottom before getting pegged!)
If you want a simple-to-use restraint that won't break, snag clothes, or irritate the skin, these silicone wrist cuffs are flexible for comfort yet plenty strong enough to restrain.
A great kit that has everything a BDSM newbie could want: cuffs, restraints, a blindfold, ball gag, and more.
If you like a serious deep-dicking (or strap-on fuck), this sling hoists thighs nice and high or puts feet in a stirrup-like position for a whole new world of angles.
If you want full access to your partner's clit, labia, and vagina, this clamp will pinch and spread their delicate parts for maximum teasing and torture.
These hunter green bondage beauties look elegant AF, but they also do an excellent job of keeping wrists where they belong. And if your submissive likes to struggle and escape, there's a lockable buckle.
So, you've got your partner's wrists restrained exactly where you want them. Next step? Keep them from squirming with these soft padded ankle cuffs.
Alright, so if you've never seen someone use an anal hook, we recommend you quickly search for it on Pornhub. These hooks go inside your anus, and then typically connect to a harness (or another part of your body) using rope. Obviously, it's not for beginners.
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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There’s something undeniably arousing about being tied up or tying a partner up in the bedroom. Not only does it change the power structure, facilitating elements of domination and submission, but it also evokes powerful emotions. There’s an immense amount of vulnerability and trust required when sexually bound. These reasons (among others) help to explain why so many people fantasize about BDSM (remember, the B stands for “bondage”). In fact, a 93% of men and 96% of women have fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before.
So what are the best ways to use bondage during sex? If you’re someone who’s curious about bondage sex positions, you might have come across Shibari , a contemporary form of rope bondage that originated in Japan. (Sometimes, it’s also called Kinbaku or Japanese bondage.)
“Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona , a Shibari artist and instructor; some people use it as a form of meditation or as a tool to feel intimate with a partner. However, Shibari can be sexual if you so choose. You can tie your partner up, and the two of you can go at it for hours in various positions. This piece is focused on all the fun, kinky sex you can have when either you or your partner is bound.
But before we continue, safety first! If you’ve never attempted Shibari, consider taking a course or one-on-one class with a professional , because tying someone up can be incredibly dangerous both physically and emotionally. And there are certain things you should never do—like use rope across the neck. This can lead to asphyxiation.
“The number one rule for tying safely is to ALWAYS have safety shears within reaching distance,” Sydona says. “The second is to be able to communicate to your partner well, both as both a top [person doing the tying] and bottom [person being tied]. Being able to communicate explicitly and coherently before, during, and after a session is what keeps it as safe and enjoyable as possible.”
With that said, here are 13 bondage sex positions you can try out with your partner. (You’ll notice the first two “positions” are actually two different types of standard Shibari ties that will allow you to complete every other position on the list.) In addition to speaking with Sydona, we also talked to world-renown, Shibari expert Midori . She's a sexologist, educator, and author of Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . (Midori offers Shibari classes , if you want to learn more advanced knots than the ones offered on this list.)
All you really need to be able to bring bondage to the bedroom is a simple handcuff-style tie, Syonda says. "This is called a 'double column' tie—two loops around two 'columns' (usually two limbs) that doesn’t collapse or self tighten."
"In any tie, but particularly with ties involving the wrists, it’s important to make sure you have plenty of wiggle room between the skin and the rope, and that the tie can’t tighten down on itself," she says. "A tie that does this is both uncomfortable and unsafe and can potentially cause loss of circulation or nerve damage."
To actually complete the double column tie, place your "wrists a couple of inches apart, and then wrap around both wrists," Midori says. "Cross at the middle and wrap around the space between the wrists and then tie two overhand knots." (I know this can be a little confusing without a depiction, so check out this 2-minute tutorial on how to to do a double column tie.) Once you've mastered the double-column wrist tie, you can get creative with it!
"This is a Shibari classic with vast variations," Midori says. "For a super simple way to start, use one or two long ropes, perhaps 25 to 30 feet. Then tie their wrists together behind their back. Use the remaining rope and wrap that around the arms and body. First below the breasts or pecs, then over it. If you connect the check ropes between the arm and torso, you’ll be able to snug it down tightly."
You can play in numerous positions with this one. "It's great for full frontal access to nipples and genitals," Midori says. "It's super hot for face-down anal, too."
"Position your partner on their knees with their behind in the air and chest flat on the bed, floor, couch, etc.," Sydona says. "Pull their arms back and tie their wrists together behind their thighs to their ankles. If this is too tough on their neck, put a pillow under their chest."
While the image here is depicting oral stimulation, you can also do anal and vaginal penetration in this position.
"Bend their legs and tie the thigh and ankle together with an easy release two column tie; then repeat for the other leg," Midori says. It's optional to tie the wrists to the thighs, Midori adds. (That's what's depicted in the image.)
This position allows for "sexy vulnerability" and "access to all the bits" making it great for both giving and receiving oral pleasure. It's also really smooth to transition into bound doggy from this position.
In this position, the bottom's ankles are tied to a pole—make sure to use something that won't give anyone splinters—a PVC pipe could work here or even a long Swiffer handle. The bottom's wrists are tied together.
Midori notes that you feel "delightfully exposed" in this position, and it's "fantastic for bound penetration from behind."
Have your partner lie on their stomach for the hogtie. "Tie their ankles together and their wrists behind their back, then tie those to each other," Sydona says.
"While this isn’t a great position for penetration, it’s great for oral and sets the mood for a BDSM-type session. Don’t forget that this position can be very strenuous on your partner’s back and shoulders, so make sure you have a quick exit plan and check in often."
Lay on one side, and "Tie wrists together with a basic wrist tie. Tie the left ankle to the right thigh, using the same tie as the wrists. Then tie the left thigh to the left upper arm bicep. Make sure it’s not too tight," Midori says. "The body looks amazing in this position and it's hot for spooning sex from behind."
Have your partner sit in a chair and tie their ankles to each chair leg and their wrists behind their back. "This position is great for oral, using toys, or for a good ol’ fashioned interrogation role play," Sydona says. "Pro tip: make sure the back of the chair is against a wall or something stable, so you don’t accidentally push your partner over backward in the heat of the moment."
"Have your partner straddle a chair so their booty is just barely off the edge of the seat and rest their chest on the seat's back," Sydona says. "Tie their ankles to the legs of the chair and their wrists behind their back. This position is great for anal play."
(Note: For this position to work, you need to use a chair without arms. You also want to lean the chair against a wall or bed; you don't want the chair toppling over!)
"Have your partner lie flat on their back on a bed and tie their wrists and ankles to each corner," Sydona says. "For extra spice add a blindfold, and go to town. If you or your partner are new to bedroom bondage this is a great starting position. It's simple to tie, not particularly strenuous, and you can even buy user-friendly under-the-bed restraints if rope isn’t your style."
"Again have your partner lie flat on their back on the bed. Tie each ankle to each corner at the top of the bed, lifting their leg as high as is comfortable for them," Sydona says. "If this is too difficult, tie their thighs instead of their ankles, so they can bend their knees. This position is great for, well, everything."
"With your lover on their back, place a pole under their ankle, just above their heels," Midori says. "Tie each wrist and ankles to the pole, and [make sure to] tie loose enough for wriggle room and to prevent loss of circulation."
This position grants full access penetration to all the orifices, Midori adds.
The Group Project is a rope bondage position for when three people are involved . "Have your partners stand face-to-face with their arms around each other. Tie both partners’ wrists in a classic handcuff tie behind the back of the other," Sydona says.
"From here, you can take a voyeuristic role and watch an inevitable steamy makeout session, or alternate teasing each partner while the other watches at a very close range."
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Remind your slave that his place is at your feet with a sick and twisted bondage contraption. The wooden Humbler will keep him on his knees with his ass exposed, locking onto his stretched out scrotum.
Remind your slave that his place is at your feet with a sick and twisted bondage contraption. The wooden Humbler will keep him on his knees with his ass exposed, locking onto his stretched out scrotum. Curved to fit below his ass, this device will tug on his balls and prevent him from standing, keeping him bent over and at your mercy! Knobs at either end make it easy for you to open and close the Humbler. Clasps allow you to attach or remove a pair of ankle restraints to keep him even further restrained! The comfortable interior of the cuffs ensures that his mind will be on the predicament his testicles are in while he is immobilized. Locking buckles give you the option of furthering his plight, giving him no hope for escape!
Measurements: Humbler is 19.5 inches in length, 1.5 inches in width. Scrotal opening is 2.5 inches in length, .75 inches in width. Cuffs adjust from 7.5 to 10.5 inches in circumference.
Material: Wood, PU leather, metal, plastic.
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