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Chances are, when you're having sex, you want to orgasm — and who could blame you? But often, postponing your pleasure makes it that much more enjoyable, which is the concept behind practicing orgasm denial. As they say, good things come to those who wait (and that pun was absolutely intended).
"Orgasm denial is often practiced as BDSM, and it involves maintaining arousal without allowing orgasm to follow," Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly , tells Bustle. "Oftentimes, a dominant partner will stimulate their submissive partner to high levels of arousal — even to the brink of orgasm — and then change things up, slow down, or stop to inhibit orgasm."
This can be done with partners of any gender, Laurie Mintz, PhD, sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate , tells Bustle. "It is often best with a partner you know well so you know their signs of arousal and how to best get them there," she says. "On the other hand, the submissive can simply communicate when they are close to orgasm — making it more accessible to newer partners."
Reasons you might want to try orgasm denial include wanting to engage in power play, wanting to have sex for longer than usual, wanting to better enjoy the stages of arousal before orgasm, and wanting to make orgasms more intense . There are actually a number of different ways to engage in orgasm denial. Here are a few methods you can try.
Edging — getting to the brink of orgasm again and again before you finally allow it — is often recommended as a way to make orgasms more intense . Edging and orgasm denial make a natural combination. Each time your partner is getting close, pull back and touch them more gently or somewhere else or not at all, then return and repeat until you decide to let them orgasm. Edging helps "build arousal so that orgasm feels more intense when it finally arrives," Dr. Jess says.
"This can be done in many ways, including having intercourse and then stopping when your partner is close to the edge, having one partner use a vibrator or other sex toy on the other, oral sex, manual stimulation, or some combination," Mintz says.
You can also practice orgasm denial more formally by setting a specific time at which your partner is allowed to orgasm, Dr. Jess says. You can even set a stopwatch so you don't have to be checking the clock. If the goal is to have a lasting experience, this can help ensure that happens.
If you want to play with power, one strategy is to create a code word or signal that, when used, allows your partner to orgasm, Dr. Jess says. This will make your partner feel completely at your mercy if that's what they're craving.
Another way to do orgasm denial is to not completely deny your partner the ability to orgasm but deny them touch on a body part that typically leads them to orgasm, Dr. Jess says. For example, you could avoid touching the penis or the clitoris. Whether or not they’re able to orgasm this way, this can help them enjoy other erogenous zones .
“You might deny orgasm based on specific terms, e.g. you can orgasm only after you [do some particular thing],” Dr. Jess says. For example, you might have them give you oral sex or say something to you. You can decide in advance what these terms are, or you can decide in the moment what your partner needs to do before you let them orgasm (as long as they consent to these conditions).
If you and your partner are interested in exploring the BDSM aspect of orgasm denial, you can use restraints like handcuffs, blindfolds, and ropes to prevent the submissive partner from touching themselves, Mintz says. "It’s also very important to have a conversation before doing this, which should include a 'safe word' (which will allow the submissive to call an end to the action) and a discussion on if an orgasm will eventually be allowed or not," she says.
"Just knowing that you have a partner capable of mastering your body this way can be very arousing, as can knowing you are capable of mastering another person’s body this way," Mintz says. "Some people also find that purposefully delaying orgasm results in stronger, longer, and more mind-shattering orgasms, on both a physical and psychological level."
As always, make sure that everybody consents to everything new that you’re trying. And if it doesn’t go as planned, have a sense of humor about it and embrace the unexpected.

Tease And Denial Ideas For Cruel Keyholders

MLA Style Citation:

Jameson, Sarah "Tease And Denial Ideas For Cruel Keyholders."
Tease And Denial Ideas For Cruel Keyholders .
27 Apr. 2012 EzineArticles.com.
10 Jun. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-And-Denial-Ideas-For-Cruel-Keyholders&id=7028612 >.

APA Style Citation:

Jameson, S. (2012, April 27). Tease And Denial Ideas For Cruel Keyholders .
Retrieved June 10, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-And-Denial-Ideas-For-Cruel-Keyholders&id=7028612

Chicago Style Citation:

Jameson, Sarah "Tease And Denial Ideas For Cruel Keyholders." Tease And Denial Ideas For Cruel Keyholders
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-And-Denial-Ideas-For-Cruel-Keyholders&id=7028612

By
Sarah Jameson |

Submitted On April 27, 2012

One of the most important "rules" for making strict long-term orgasm denial work in a marriage or other relationship is regular and frequent tease and denial, or "edging".
After all, men who crave chastity are not saying they want to be "locked and left" when they beg you to take control of their orgasms: what they want is to experience the torturous pleasure of being taken to the edge of orgasm but not being allowed to cross over it.
For some men, this becomes a permanent fixture of their lives: in other words, their wives permanently withhold their husbands' orgasms (always with their man's consent) and instead limit them to strict tease and denial.
The effect this has on a man cannot be overestimated.
It's profound -- and it does wonders for your whole relationship.
But then the question is how do you keep your man sufficiently interested so he's willing to continue to allow you to withhold his orgasms?
The answer to that, in part, is with extreme and even cruel tease and denial. I'll now share three of these techniques with you now, all tried, tested and proven to keep your man permanently right of the edge of orgasm, get begging you not to let him cum:
It's one thing to play with a man's penis and masturbate him right to the edge... but it's another to use lube to drive him wild.
Here's what you do: liberally lubricate his penis then circle your thumb and forefinger into a ring and slide it over the head, drawing it down all the way to the root. Pause for a moment, then slide back up again.
The trick to making this almost unbearably torturous for him is to squeeze hard -- harder than you think you can get away with. You won't hurt him, and the sensation of you sliding up and down like this will drive him crazy.
And just before he cums... you stop, lock the device back on, and he lives to beg for another day.
This takes real skill to pull off and the chances are you'll have one or two little "accidents" before you get the hang of it.
First, make him please you orally so you've cum a few times and you're nice and wet. Then get him to kneel between your legs and allow him to put just the tip of his penis inside you.
Then you make yourself cum again by stimulating your clit either with your fingers or a vibrator (or for a real treat, make him do it for you).
As you cum he'll feel your vagina pulsing and tightening around his penis. He'll want to push all the way in and cum... but you simply tell him to stop, because cumming is not allowed... ever.
This isn't for every couple, but logically it's perfectly reasonable -- because why should you go without proper sex and enjoying a man having an orgasm with you just because your husband has begged you for chastity?
The secret to making this work is to ensure your hubby still feels secure as your "Number One".
If you can do that then he'll usually be more than pleased to watch you making love with another man.
His special delight will be actually seeing your lover cumming inside you, experiencing that one thing he will never be allowed to experience himself.
This will keep him totally focused on you and your pleasure, for as long as you hold his key.
There's a lot more to cruel tease and denial, of course, and this is just the beginning.
If you really want to play the game, then it's just a matter of doing the research and getting the information you need to make a properly informed decision...
So... click the blue link and claim your FREE step-by-step chastity guide and discover the truth about male chastity and cruel tease and denial .
... because right now I'm giving away this free Guide to anyone who visits my website, but this free offer won't last forever.
... if you're serious about strict and uncompromising chastity, be sure to get it as soon as you can.
Your FREE chastity guide is waiting for you here!
Sarah Jameson is the creator and host of the highly regarded Male Chastity Blog, which is rapidly becoming the principal source of sound, factual, and usable information about male chastity on the Internet.
She is a happily married woman and freelance writer who has kept her husband in ultra-strict long-term chastity and orgasm denial for the past 13 years and now shares her experiences to help other couples embrace this deeply satisfying and rewarding but frequently misunderstood lifestyle.
© 2022 EzineArticles All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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