Bondage Asphyxia
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Bondage Asphyxia
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Savage Love
Jun 8, 2018 at 4:51 pm
Leaving a Tied Up Person Alone—Just How Dangerous Is It?
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My boyfriend is into bondage that's way too intense for me. There are two guys he plays with and that's not a problem. I know them and I always get to see the pictures after they play. The last time he was showing me pictures from a bondage session we wound up having a fight. One of the pics was of him on a bondage board strapped down in a sleepsack. I asked him how long he was like that and he guessed it was about 90 minutes, maybe, "however long the guys were out to dinner." It turned out that they'd left him alone! I was really upset with his bondage friends for leaving him alone—I've been heard over and over that you're never supposed to leave someone in bondage alone—but he says it was consensual. He wanted to be left alone, he thought it was sexy, he didn't get hurt, so what's the problem? But while it may have been consensual, it wasn't safe (what if there was a fire?) or sane (WHAT IF THERE WAS A FIRE?). My boyfriend says he would do it again. I don't want him to do it again. I don't want him to play with them again. Am I wrong? Doesn't everyone consider it unsafe to leave someone alone in bondage?
I'm with every BDSM educator, author, and expert, BIND: never leave someone alone in bondage . That's what everybody says and, hey, I just said it too. But being left alone in bondage is something many people fantasize about and some people, like your boyfriend's bondage buddies, will actually do. And while society is willing to sign off on a certain amount of controlled risk-taking in pursuit of non-sexual pleasures—people die skiing, snowboarding, skydiving, scuba diving—we're less willing to sign off on controlled risk-taking when it comes to sexual pleasures. Because we're sex-phobic like that.
But, yeah, nearly everyone who writes and/or educates about kink will tell you that leaving someone alone in bondage is dangerous. But how dangerous is it? Trikoot, a self-described "kink connoisseur" from Finland who specializes in heavy bondage, sensory deprivation, and multiple layers of fetish gear, wrote a long and detailed post at his blog unpacking the risks of leaving someone alone in bondage. I've reproduced it here with Trikoot's permission...
How dangerous is it to leave a sub alone?
Being left alone helpless to enjoy your bondage is a common fantasy among kinksters. It’s the ultimate form of consensual non-consensuality: there’s no way out, if there’s nobody there to release you. We all know the fundamental rule of BDSM is to never leave your sub alone in bondage. But this begs the question: how dangerous is it to actually leave a person alone?
If we forget the complications of bondage itself, and focus on external dangers that could kill or injure your sub, the numbers are pretty clear: any external danger is ridiculously low. Fire and burglary are the main external dangers. According to FEMA, there are approximately 380,000 household fires annually in the US, and according to FBI, about 1.5 million burglaries. As there are about 125 million households in the country, the risk of having a fire in a residence in the US in any eight hour period is approximately one in 360,000, and a burglary one in 240,000. (It should also be noted that if your burglar sees a slave in a cage, he’ll most likely flee: only 7% of US burglaries happening while house is occupied result in any violence.) Other causes of household danger are far lower than fire and burglary, so it’s clear that your house will not destruct itself while you are away unless you are extremely unlucky. For perspective, the average risk for an American 40 year old male dying in the next eight hours is one in 490,000, according to the Social Security Actuarial Table. This increases to one in 95,000 if you’re 60 years old, so when you are playing with an old top, him keeling over and dying is much more likely than a catastrophic fire.
Bondage itself is dangerous. Any form of constriction around the neck or head can cause death in two ways: asphyxiation (not getting enough oxygen), and the vasovagal response (constricting the neck, resulting in a reflexive crashing of blood pressure). These risks depend on the kind of bondage, so it’s best to stay away from the head and neck area. Even if the head and neck area is completely free, constriction around the chest area may cause positional asphyxia, where the sub is unable to breathe properly due to exertion required to physically breathe. This is usually caused by the sub being on his stomach, as in a hogtie. What if the neck and head of the sub is free and there is no significant pressure around the chest area? It’s pretty difficult to kill your sub. Other dangers are also present, but generally nonlethal. Too tight bondage in any part of the body causes two kinds of damage: circulatory and nerve damage. These are significant, because if a top is present in a scene, any problem can be quickly fixed, but if you are alone, there’s nobody to help and things can go wrong quickly.
Circulatory problems result in tissue not getting enough blood due to position or constriction. Lying immobile, bed sores can form as quickly as 2 hours when a static position prevents free circulation. In legs and arms, tight restraints can result in loss of circulation and progress to ischemia and eventually gangrene in a matter of hours. There’s also a danger of blood clots. Circulatory problems will eventually cause nerve damage (which is often permanent) due to nerves not getting enough blood, but nerve damage can happen sneakily by itself as well.
Pressure in incorrect places, or unsustainable positions, will damage nerves directly. In mild cases, the myelin sheath around a nerve is damaged, resulting in damage which heals by itself. This healing can take up to 6-9 weeks, but often happens in a matter of hours. More serious damage affects the nerve itself, resulting in damage that can take months to years to fully heal. Nerve damage usually has symptoms (pins and needles, progressing to numbness), but occasionally it’s symptomless until the damage has been done.
People react unexpectedly when they are left alone. Panic attacks are a real risk. While a panic attack itself is not dangerous, its symptoms can be. Uncontrollable struggling may result in bondage or equipment failing, suddenly changing the situation.
Vomiting is a dangerous symptom of a panic attack, especially if the sub is in a vulnerable position. Any gag or obstruction in the mouth while vomiting will most likely result in death through asphyxiation, or at least aspiration pneumonia when vomit gets inhaled into the lungs.
Prolonged or intense fear can cause long-lasting psychological symptoms, of which most famous is PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. This may be destructive for any future kink.
As a sane adult (I hope), that’s for you to decide. There are ways to mitigate risk when it comes to leaving someone alone in bondage:
• Do not use gags or hoods, or do head bondage, that obstruct with breathing or vomiting in any way
• Do not do any bondage around the neck, and be conservative with any bondage around the chest area
• Be careful with any pressure points, give the sub enough movement to be able to move around to avoid undue constant pressure
• Do not leave subs that have a history of panic attacks or related psychological issues alone As with anything, it’s impossible to remove all the risk. Being alone in bondage is a big fantasy for many people, but focusing on the details, you can make it as safe as you can.
Isn’t this irresponsible? You should be saying ‘never leave a sub alone!’
BDSM is always potentially a lethal activity, and we take a calculated risk when we get tied up. If we lived in a world of moral absolutes, you shouldn’t be doing bondage at all, since there is no way to guarantee the safety of your sub even when you are 100% present. People will leave their subs alone, bareback, and smoke weed, along with other things you consider morally abject, and to condemn everything simply prevents real information from getting through.
There are stupid ways of leaving your sub alone, and relatively safe ways of doing the same. It’s your call which one you pick.
Trikoot blog at Trikoot.net . Follow Trikoot on Twitter @Trikoot .
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10 Well-Known Men Who Allegedly Died From Erotic Asphyxiation
By Adrian Asis
Published Jul 09, 2014
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Erotic asphyxiation is the restriction of oxygen to the brain with the intent of heightening sexual arousal. The behavior is classified as paraphilia in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnost
Erotic asphyxiation is the restriction of oxygen to the brain with the intent of heightening sexual arousal. The behavior is classified as paraphilia in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual , while "gasper" is the colloquial term for someone who engages in the practice. Physically, the act has been explained to cause the heightening of sexual pleasure because a lack of oxygen supply to the brain can increase particular sensations, including the pleasure derived from orgasm. Furthermore, documented as having been practiced since the early 17th century, erotic asphyxiation used to be suggested as a treatment for erectile dysfunction since subjects who were executed by hanging were noted to develop an erection. Disturbingly though, the act has also been described to be "highly addictive" and "no less powerful than cocaine," approximately 250 to 1,000 deaths resulting from its practice in the United States each year.
The dangerous aspect of erotic asphyxiation is that the restriction of oxygen to the brain is often achieved by placing a plastic bag over the head or by hanging, and a mishap can result in the gasper losing his life. This is what is suspected to have happened to the following ten well-known men:
American actor David Carradine was born to a productive acting family, his father, John Carradine, being best known for his roles in horror films and Westerns. Unfortunately for David, he had to endure an unstable childhood resulting from his father's frequent marrying -- probably a contributor to David repeatedly being arrested on charges involving s
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