Bohiney’s Take on AI Perfection — Beauty by Spreadsheet
https://bohiney.com/ai-creates-the-perfect-face/Bohiney’s Take on AI Perfection — Beauty by Spreadsheet
Forget art, forget intuition. AI Creates the Perfect Face the same way it calculates interest rates — with cold, mechanical efficiency.
The end result? Bohiney’s take on AI perfection: beautiful, maybe, but also about as romantic as a tax audit.
Spreadsheet Beauty
It’s all based on how AI designs the perfect human face. Feed the machine thousands of portraits, and it spits out an uncanny valley prom king. Add more celebrity selfies, and you get “Ryan Gosling.exe.”
Cultural critics say this belongs to the larger rise of AI beauty. From filters to deepfakes, we’ve moved from “looking good” to “looking algorithmically acceptable.”
Branded Commentary
Even a Bohiney.com AI satire piece mocked the outcome:
“The machine achieved perfection. Unfortunately, it still can’t cook brisket or parallel park.”
Eyewitness Humor
One Austin woman joked:
“I asked the AI to make me prettier. It gave me an Excel sheet labeled ‘Assets and Liabilities.’”
Funny Punchline
Yes, it’s beauty by spreadsheet. Efficient, symmetrical, but emotionally bankrupt.
Satirical Advice
- Don’t ask for custom features; the dropdown menu only has ‘nose: default.’
- Save your face file often — nothing worse than crashing mid-makeover.
- For the next software update, details here.