Bluetooth Chastity
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Is this the worst product ever, or what? A male "chastity belt" made of hardened steel. It's controlled by Bluetooth (only). No latch. No lock. There is no other way to get it off, except one, which is beyond ghoulish. Worse still, it can be hacked. All you never wanted to know about "The Cellmate."
There was a real head-shaker of a story in Yahoo News yesterday; one I just couldn't ignore, especially since my official title has changed:
Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Science and Infantile Humor
This is nothing to take lightly. I lobbied long and hard for this promotion and I intend to show that those who entrusted me with this responsibility rest easy (1). There is a high standard for me to attain: this needs to be tasteless AND stupid.
In the "guess what I learned today" lesson, I discovered that there is a device called the Cellmate which is very versatile! It can be used to ensure monogamy and to jazz up your love life; it's touted as a "submission sex play device." The Cellmate "is a cover that clamps on the base of the male genitals with a hardened steel ring."
The Cellmate. Looks mighty comfortable! Image: Amazon
Let's play "Things I Would Rather Have Clamped to My Nuts!" It's good clean fun! Here is my entry (for those of you who are metaphorically challenged, the package of Planter's Peanuts represents your "cojones.")
Mervyn, the bipolar Bayou alligator with anger issues. Original photo: Pixabay
Back to the Cellmate. As if having a steel cover clamped to your boys isn't bad enough it gets worse. Cellmate does not have a physical lock and key (or any kind of manual override) to take the damn thing off; it is controlled by an app via Bluetooth. Worse still "security experts" (2) determined that the damn thing can be hacked and then there is no way to remove it other than...
You guys might not want to read this...
"We discovered that remote attackers could prevent the Bluetooth lock from being opened, permanently locking the user in the device. There is no physical unlock...An angle grinder or other suitable heavy tool would be required to cut the wearer free."
Pen Test Partners, a British security firm
Angle grinder. The origin of the term "I don't think so." Image: Flickr
Perhaps I'm strange, but the thought of having that thing a quarter of an inch from my nads isn't a great choice. So, what to do?
C'mon, demented readers. Let's see what you got! Beat this and you will receive a yet-undetermined, worthless prize courtesy of ACSH.
(1) That's a blatant lie. Right now they are probably hiding under the bed cringing at the thought of me being given the opportunity to talk about steel testicle traps. And well they should since my humor treads the line between merely tasteless and suitable only for the dark web.
Executive Vice President and the Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Science
Dr. Josh Bloom, Executive Vice President and the Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Science, comes from the world of drug discovery, where he did research for more than 20 years. He holds a Ph.D. in chemistry.
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Email: info@acsh.org
Phone: 212.362.7044
The American Council on Science and Health is a research and education organization operating under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. Contributions are fully tax-deductible. ACSH does not have an endowment. We raise our funds each year primarily from individuals and foundations.
Home / Real not virtual / Mistress Lena’s Bluetooth Chastity Lock
Mistress Lena's Bluetooth Chastity Lock quantity
I’ve been working on this exciting lock for over a year and now it can be yours. You will receive a beautiful solid lock that is controlled by your smart phone … and me! Once you set up the lock using bluetooth to talk with your phone or tablet (Apple or Android) you will hand over control of the lock to me. From that moment your chastity experience has suddenly become very real. We will negotiate an initial key holding period and I will release you in accordance with our agreement. Early release is possible for a $20 early release fee otherwise the lock is inescapable.
(There is a tamper proof emergency release mechanism should you need it, but its use will be obvious and punishment will be swift.)
This is an early adopter program. The lock will be shipped to you directly from the factory and may take 3 to 4 weeks to arrive. (Of course I need your shipping address to send you the lock but I don’t keep customer records for privacy reasons.)
Once you have the lock, and after your initial chastity period, additional locks / unlocks are just $29 per pair. This charge does not apply to those on my training programs.
Handing back full control to you (for example handing the lock over to another keyholder) is $29.
This is a beautiful steel lock, well made and stylish – but most of all secure. You will love the engineering as I love the security. The lock is not just for chastity – it can be used to secure anything a normal padlock can secure – but without the key.
Nach 1 Jahr Arbeit an diesem Schloss kann es nun endlich deins sein. Du bekommst ein schönes stabiles Schloss das von deinem Smartphone und mir kontrolliert wird. Wenn die Kommunikation mit deinem Smartphone oder Tablet (Apple oder Android) abgeschlossen ist wirst du die Kontrolle an mich übergeben. Von diesem Moment an wird deine Chastity Erfahrung sehr real. Wir werden die Schlüsselhalter Zeit fest legen und ich werde dich nach einer Vereinbarung frei lassen. Eine frühere Freilassung ist möglich nach einer Zahlung von 20$. Ansonsten kann nicht ausgetreten werden.
(Es gibt eine manipulationssichere Notfalllösung falls diese benötigt wird, aber es ist offensichtlich das dies eine Strafe zur Folge hat.)
Dies ist ein frühes Anwenderprogramm. Das Schloss wird direkt von der Herstellung gesendet und dauert in der Regel 3 bis 4 Wochen bis es ankommt. (Natürlich benötige ich deine Adresse um es zu versenden, die Daten werden nicht gespeichert.)
Sobald das Schloss da ist und einer bestimmten Verschlossenenzeit kosten zusätzliche Öffnungen und Verschließungen nur29$. Diese Bedingung zählt nicht für diejenigen die dem Trainingsprogramm unterzogen sind.
Rückgabe der vollen Kontrolle zu dir(Zum Beispiel um sie jemandem anderen zu übergeben) kostet 29$.
Das ist ein schönes Stahl Schloss, hochwertig verarbeitet und stylish, und vorallem sicher. Du wirst die Verarbeitung lieben genauso wie ich die Sicherheit. Das Schloss ist nicht nur für Keuschheit, es kann auch für alles
möglich andere verwendet werden das mit einem Schloss gesichert ist nur ohne Schlüssel.
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