Blow Job Free

Blow Job Free

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Blow job, fellatio, giving head, going down: whatever you call it, it doesn’t take a PhD in anatomy to understand why receiving oral sex if you have a penis might feel amazing. The warm and wet sensation of a mouth on the nerve-dense shaft and head of a penis, combined with the sounds and visual of the act, can be crazy pleasurable.

Receiving a blow job is good—but giving head can be gratifying, too. One reason why: while you’re performing oral sex, an erotic interplay of dominance and submission takes place.

“On the one hand, your partner has the power to thrust into your mouth and throat, but on the other, you have all the power, as your teeth are in close proximity to their most sensitive parts,” sexologist Jessica "Dr. Jess" O'Reilly , PhD, host of the Drive Him Wild With Pleasure video course, tells Health . And then there’s the thrill of watching your partner receive pleasure, she says.

Since giving and getting a blow job both have benefits, it pays to pick up some pointers for making blow jobs even more comfortable, exciting, and orgasmic. These are the top tips from Dr. Jess and board certified sexologist Lanae St. John , author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for ‘The Talk.'

You probably know this, but blow jobs don’t literally entail blowing on the penis, say, the way you’d cool off soup—unless your partner likes that. Instead, Dr. Jess tells Health that blow jobs typically incorporate some combination of licking, sucking, kissing, deep-throating, and hand action. “Every person has their own preferences, so it’s less about technique and more about asking what they like,” she says.

If you can come right out and ask your partner about their preferences, that's probably easiest. But sometimes giving a blow job is more of a fact-finding mission, and you have to try things out and gauge your partner's response. Dr. Jess recommends trying this: tuck your lips under your teeth, "clamp down for extra pressure, and then slide up and down the shaft."

Another tip: Flick your tongue against the tip of penis, or along the frenulum—the sensitive notch of skin on the underbelly of the head. Based on your partner's response, you'll be able to see if they enjoy light pressure here, and if it's okay to advance to putting the entire head in your mouth...or if they prefer that you focus more on the shaft.

“There’s a misconception that you have to be able to deep-throat to give an enjoyable blow job. But that’s not true,” says Dr. Jess. “If you’re nervous about gagging, not enjoying yourself, or uncomfortable, this will affect your lover’s enjoyment.” If you are going to try taking the head and shaft in your mouth but are worried about gagging, just go slow, and stop at any point you feel that gag reflex kicking in.

A blow job isn't all about the mouth. In fact, adding hand moves introduces a different level or pressure and sensation, magnifying the pleasure your partner is already feeling. It's also a good go-to if deep-throating isn't your thing. “Using your hands to stroke the shaft while using your tongue and lips on just the tip, will create a similar sensation,” she says. This is also a good tip for when your mouth or jaw gets tired...just switch to making a fist around the shaft and moving it up and down, or cup your partner's balls in your hand gently.

Speaking of testicles, it’s understandable if most of your attention is on the penis. But don’t forget about the other erogenous zones nearby, like the balls, perineum, and anus.

“The testicles are incredibly nerve-dense,” says Dr. Jess. Try creating a sucking sensation against the delicate skin with your mouth, or using your hand to massage the balls to wow your partner, she suggests.

You can also lick or caress the perineum, the area between the testicles and the anus. (Not everyone likes action here, so ask first or go very slowly.) Applying pressure here with your thumb or the flat edge of your tongue can stimulate the prostate, which is often called the male G-spot because of how intense stimulation here can feel. “Try using a vibrating toy against this spot,” suggests Dr. Jess.

You can also stimulate your partner's anus while you’re giving a blow job by using a finger or tongue, says Dr. Jess. Some people get squeamish about having their anus played with, so get explicit permission before incorporating rimming or anal fingering. But if your partner consents, trust, you’ll blow their mind.

There's more than one way to give a blow job besides on your knees or with your partner lying flat. Your partner can lie back with their legs up or with bent knees. Or have them lie on their stomach with their hips up and legs out slightly, as you crouch behind them and treat them to a from-behind blow job.

Dr. Jess recommends "the giraffe," which entails you lying on your back with your head hanging over the bed and your partner straddling you from a standing position. You can also try "facesitter," she says, which has you lying on your back and your partner kneeling over your lips.

For mutual pleasure try classic 69, or even sideways 69—so you’re both on your sides but facing opposite direction.

It’s a myth that spitters are quitters. “There is zero pressure to swallow if that’s not something you want to do,” says Dr. Jess. Maybe it's because you don’t like the taste of semen; maybe you find it hotter for your partner to orgasm somewhere else on your body. Any reason is a valid reason, she says.

If you don’t want to swallow, you have a few options. You can tell your partner where you want it (for example, “I want it all over my chest” or “I want to see you finish in your hand"), you can catch the semen in your mouth and then spit it into a towel, or you can ask your partner to wear a flavored condom.

If you do want to swallow, Dr. Jess has a few suggestions to enhance the experience. “Take the penis deep into your throat and when they come, gaze seductively into their eyes,” she advises. Or when your partner tells you they’re close, suck only on the head, so you can control how much you swallow at a time.

Mutual pleasure is always a win in the bedroom. While giving a blow job, ask your partner to turn you on, too: have them talk dirty to you or tell you what they're feeling, or suggest bringing a vibrator or vibrating ring into the mix, which you can press against your clitoris or put in your vagina so you're both moving closer to orgasm.

And above all, always follow the number one rule of blow jobs: only give one when you want to and your partner wants you to. “You are not obligated to give anyone a blow job or perform any act you don’t want to,” St. John tells Health . Any partner who makes you feel obligated to give one probably isn’t a keeper. “There are plenty of other acts and activities you can engage in to experience (mutual) sexual pleasure,” says St. John. True that!

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Putting a penis in one's mouth is not as simple an endeavor as one might assume it is. Learning how to give a blowjob is a complicated process that can be a source of anxiety, fear, and unexpectedly deep soul searching. While the person being fellated might not be aware, the person on the other end is being bombarded with a lot of blowjob-related mind garbage. But no one ever talks about these little nagging things that have to do with giving head. It's difficult enough to bring up blowjobs around the water cooler or at a dinner party, so getting into the dirty little details can be tough. Obviously, not so for me, since I'm broaching them right now.
Generally, conversations about blowjobs center around who can deep throat, how easy/difficult it is to get a penis in your mouth hole, and whether or not you should kiss after completion. But there are far more mundane factors at play, and all of them far more important than these racier questions. I don't know why we don't talk more about the minutiae of giving head. What I do know is that there are certain things I can guarantee most women are thinking when we go down on someone. Such universal thoughts deserve to be shared and commiserated over. Here are six things about blowjobs that no one ever talks about, but which I'm forcing you to listen to me talk about right now:
Blowjobs are scary - not because of what happens to you when you're giving them, but what you might inadvertently do to the person you're giving them to. For instance: suddenly, reflexively biting down for some reason. There are a lot of things I'd like to go through life never having experienced. Orally castrating someone is certainly one of them.
I envy anyone who can give a blowjob and retain sexy thoughts in their brain. For most of us, we're just trying not to choke on the chunk of our own hair that keeps slipping into our mouths. We're also thinking about the sweat smell of balls, making eye contact, the giant drip of our own spit smeared across our face, not biting down, etc.
Again, I have much envy for the sucker who has no gag reflex. Because for everyone else, when a penis hits the back of your throat, its all we can do to stop from vomiting. Add "vomiting on someone's penis" to the list of things I would like to go through life without ever doing. It doesn't exactly scream "sexy" - unless you're one of those fetishists I once saw on Jerry Springer (I'm aware that a Jerry Springer reference reveals my age, and I don't even care).
Look, I don't want to brag but, like, I work out. Even still, there's no workout quite like kneeling with no hands for support (one's on the shaft, the other's on the balls) while angling your face downward and bobbing your head up and down. There's no amount of yoga that will prepare your core for the exercise of giving head. It's a full-body experience that requires poise, concentration, balance, and abs and thighs of steel.
No matter how many blowjobs you've given, nothing can prepare you for giving your first one to a new person. Every penis is unique, and no two blowjobs are the same. The same can be said for all sex acts, but there's something particularly intimate about having someone's penis in your mouth. The whole experience can be quite discombobulating, what with all the balls you have to juggle (pun intended) with a new person.
It doesn't matter whether you're an established spitter or swallower, or how many times you've had a man cum in your mouth. There's always an intense anxiety when you feel him come close to orgasm. What is going to happen? Even though you know, you're still scared. For instance, every time it comes to that point, I start worrying that so much semen is going to squirt out so hard and fast that I will choke on it. This has literally never happened to me. But as soon as a guy starts clenching, I fill with fear. Even the most seasoned fellator has anxiety when it comes to finishing the job. Snap decisions have to be made, fast and in the heat of the moment, which can lead to embarrassing situations, like naked runs to the bathroom to spit up.
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