Blonde Solo Masturbate

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Blonde Solo Masturbate
Positions for pleasure, not performance.

By
Rachel Thompson on July 11, 2019


The poses we see in porn aren't always what works for people.
Credit: Shutterstock / ECOSY


Sex Education's depiction of Aimee's masturbation spree was refreshingly accurate.
Credit: netflix

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Porn isn't exactly famed for its realism. Women masturbate with legs splayed and backs arched, orgasming after a few minutes of frantic rubbing and moaning.
But in reality, those positions aren't necessarily the most conducive to pleasure for women. What might seem hot in a male fantasy — which informs much of the porn we watch — isn't always close to what actually gets women off.
I must admit, it hadn't occurred to me that the way I masturbate might have been influenced by the porn I was privy to growing up. Given that many British women received little or no information about female self-pleasuring during sex ed lessons, many of us have been left to fill in our knowledge gaps with porn. A global survey of over 10,000 people by sex toy company Tenga found just 14 percent of British women learned about sexual pleasure during sex ed at school, and 17 percent of women learned about masturbation.
In March, during a London-held 100 Women I Know panel discussion about sex and power, Africa Brooke — founder of The Cherry Revolution , a movement aiming to "break societal norms surrounding women, identity and sexuality" — talked about being cognisant that the arched-back masturbation pose we see in porn isn't always what works for people — and that sometimes hunching over is better.
As sex educator Alix Fox — a script consultant on Netflix's Sex Education — puts it to me, "Porn often shows women rubbing themselves so frantically they look like they’re trying to start a campfire in their coochies."
"In much mainstream pornography, the act of women touching their own genitals is depicted — and choreographed — as something that’s primarily intended to serve men: both those they’re having sex with, and those who are watching, she continued. "Women are positioned in ways that purposefully splay and display as much of their pussies as possible, rather than to maximise their pleasure."
Sex educator Ruby Rare says that much of mainstream hardcore porn shows female masturbation in a very performative way and perpetuates a trope of "a woman lying down with her legs as far wide as humanly possible."
Always eager to unlearn habits formed because of the male gaze, I spoke to sex educators and women who masturbate about female self-pleasure positions that aren't shown in mainstream porn. Positions that might not necessarily make our bodies appear lithe and elegant, but will maximise the amount of pleasure during your solo sex sessions.
I asked women on Twitter to DM me their favourite masturbation positions — and my inbox was flooded with women telling me how much they love rubbing one out while lying face down.
"My fave is on my stomach so I can put weight and pressure on my hands," one woman — who preferred to remain anonymous — tells me. "I use both hands and I like to have the covers over my head to keep the light out (it’s usually morning) — the sunlight distracts me from my dirty deeds."
"Face down is my favourite I think, the easiest to come from," says Charlie, who prefers to be identified by her first name only. Face down is a popular position because the added body weight creates more friction against the clitoris, heightening sensation.
Fox — who's currently working on Season 2 of Sex Education — tells me that Aimee's face-down masturbation scene proved to be a real hit with viewers. "I got a lot of emails from viewers telling me how refreshing it was to see the character of Aimee orgasm whilst laying on her front, masturbating face down on her bed," says Fox.
Just as we switch up positions during partnered sex, why not shake things up when you masturbate?
"Lots of women automatically lay on their backs while self-pleasuring, but in the same way that different positions can change the way intercourse with a partner feels, altering your stance can change the effect of masturbation, too," says Fox. "Experiment with getting on all fours, or kneeling as though you were straddling a partner; leaning backwards activates your core and pull your pelvic area slightly more taught, which can make sensations in the genitals feel stronger," she explains. For extra comfort and added friction, you can perch yourself on top of a few pillows.
Megwyn White — advisor for adult toy brand Satisfyer — recommends rotating the legs inwards to "help add a deeper stretch for the muscles around the clitoris and rear of the pelvic floor.
Next time you're touching yourself, try clenching your muscles.
"Because so many parts of your body are interconnected with fibres and nerves, squeezing different muscles as you masturbate can enhance sensations, add pressure or pull against the genital region in ways that can be quite surprising," says Fox.
"The pubococcyygeus muscles — AKA the ‘PC muscles’ or ‘pelvic floor muscles’ — can have a strong effect upon sexual pleasure. They’re the same ones you squeeze when you’re weeing in order to stop the flow of urine. Try clenching in the same way while you touch yourself; you should feel a tightening, lifting sensation inside your vagina," she adds.
She recommends tightening then releasing the muscles that curl your toes. You could also try clenching your fists or butt, or stretching your legs so they're taught. "It might feel good to hold the squeeze, or to clench then release in a rhythm," says Fox.
"Often people enjoy masturbating while lying on their back in bed, however what might be different from porn is that you'll have the covers covering you. Some people really like to feel warm or hot and having your head under the sheets can be nice," says Rare.
One thing Rare enjoys is finding a sunlight spot in her bedroom and lying in that patch while she masturbates.
A lot of us are guilty of falling into a masturbatory rut when it comes to what we do with our hands and fingers. Sometimes it feels like you're in a frantic rubbing race to get to an orgasm-shaped finish line. Fox recommends trying a bunch of different things with your fingers — the possibilities really are endless here.
"You could try tapping motions; tickling; flicking; lightly slapping; going v-e-r-y-s-l-o-w-l-y; pulling on the labia or cupping the whole area with your hand; pressing down; varying between light and firm touches; hovering your hand above your genitals without touching them to build your sense of anticipation, before landing the lightest fairy-fingertip-kiss on your hot spots; making tiny circles with a fingertip," she says.
Keep your labia majora and mon pubis (the outside bit of your vulva) in mind too, advises Fox. "Try keeping your legs closed for a while and just stroking your flesh and pubic hair, and focusing on the sweet sensations there before you fully open the cookie jar," she says.
One woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, told me her favourite position is lying on the sofa, which she describes as "missionary for masturbation. "As a disabled woman, it’s the easiest too," she says.
In a somewhat similar position, White suggests lying in a bathtub with either one or both feet propped against a wall. If you happen to have a detachable shower head, you could incorporate water clitoral stimulation too. Just make sure the water's not too hot.
Sex blogger The Other Livvy is a fan of using furniture to get her solo-sex kicks. "If I’m in a chair then leaning far back in the chair with my arse on the edge of the seat to get as close to that same position as I can," she explains.
Propping one leg against a wall or piece of furniture can help you to move back and forth and create a rhythm.
Sure, you've heard of the G-Spot, but what about your U-Spot? "The ‘U’ here stands for ‘urethral opening’ a.k.a. the pee hole, a zone universally ignored in porn unless it’s a specialist golden shower video," says Fox. "The area is surrounded by spongy erectile tissue that can become '‘plumped up' or stiffer when a woman is aroused, and very sensitive to touch." Fox says that the U-Spot feels best when a featherlight touch or stroke is used and when the area is "copiously slippery and wet."
As Rare points out, there's really no such things as a "best position" — it's all down to personal preference and what you feel comfortable doing. "I would recommend people change up their habits with solo sex every once in a while just because it's nice to experience something new," says Rare.
One thing we could all do with unlearning from porn, however, is the notion that we need to look good while masturbating.
Embrace the "double chins and your body being in weird and wonderful angles" — as Rare puts it — and just focus on getting off. Enjoy.
For more on masturbation on Mashable, we ran a whole week of content just for you.

By Hannah Orenstein Published: Dec 4, 2017
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"I can't be the only one who does it, right?"
Masturbation — there , we said it. Touching yourself might feel taboo and you might be embarrassed to talk about it, but exploring your sexuality is totally normal. It's a healthy way to learn about yourself and your body, so you feel more comfortable when you're ready to have a sexual partner. (And hey, it's fun and feels good, too.) If you think you're the only one of your friends who has done it, you're probably not. Here, 18 girls open up about how they do it, how often they do it, and all the complicated feelings (pleasure, empowerment, happiness, embarrassment) that go along with it.
1. "I was 13 or 14 when I masturbated for the first time. I was watching TV with my grandma — I think it was Modern Family — and they brought up masturbation. I had no idea at that time what it even meant, but handy ol' Google quickly filled me in. I masturbated for the first time shortly after that. It was awkward at first. I tried the whole shower head thing to see what all the hype was about, but it didn't work for me. I probably masturbate twice a week now. I come from a very religious family, so I thought it was something to be ashamed of. Now, it's completely different. A girl's got needs." — Spencer, 17
2. "I was 15 years old when it first happened. Up until a few months ago, I was COMPLETELY embarrassed about masturbation. Each time I did it, I was ashamed that it happened and wished that it didn't. I knew this feeling would occur afterwards, but I always did it anyways. However, now that I'm entering college and defining who I am, I am realizing that it isn't something I should be ashamed of. I can't be the only one who does it, right? The feminist in me has given me the ability to feel empowered and in control of myself and what I want each time it happens." — Malia, 18
3. "I use my hand, read sexy stories, and fantasize about past experiences. I masturbate quite frequently actually — at least four times a week. I'm an open book when it comes to literally anything else, but when it comes to masturbation, I'd never admit to doing it. Honestly, typing, or even saying the words 'I masturbate,' feels so foreign and taboo. I'm not ashamed of doing it, I'm just super secretive about it." — Noelle, 17
4. "I started experimenting with masturbation last year. I was a little nervous about it, but when I attempted it, I felt a little pleasure and wasn't so turned off by the idea anymore. I usually do it before I go to bed so I fall asleep better. At first, I used a pillow to masturbate and just recently switched to doing it myself. There's so many good things that come from having an orgasm so why wouldn't you? You've got to learn what you like and figure yourself out before someone else can. " — Annaka, 17
5. "I started when I was 17. I had my first orgasm, and after that, it became something I had to do every night. I just tend to use clitoral stimulation because it's foolproof for me and it's what I am most comfortable with at the moment. " — Jackie, 19
6. "I was 19 years old and had just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship. One day when I was sad, my best friend/roommate said I need to lock myself in my room, explore my body and love myself. Ever since, I've been very open to masturbating and truthfully regret not pleasuring myself sooner. Since then, I would say I regularly masturbate maybe three times a week, whenever I have free time in my bed really. I use my hand and read stories from time to time. It's empowered me to take control of my body and dictate when and how I experience pleasure. In a society that prioritizes men's sexual pleasure over women's, I take pride in knowing that I love myself and deserve all the pleasure I want and enjoy." — Avery, 22
7. "My mom told me once that she saw me playing with myself when I was a toddler, but the first time I can remember masturbating was in my early teens, maybe 13 or 14. I think it was to a fan fiction. It was pretty clumsy, and I recall being more embarrassed and worried that someone would walk in on me than focused on pleasure. Now, it makes me feel happy and satisfied. It's nice to be able to take pleasure into your own hands... literally. " — Megan, 19
8. "I usually masturbate once a day. I have to have visuals, so I watch porn. It's hard for me to just imagine stuff. I'm not embarrassed that I masturbate; if we're close enough and you ask me, I won't deny it at all. Or sometimes when I'm texting my friends in the group chat I'll be like, "brb gonna go mb." It's completely normal. I used to be really ashamed about it, though." — Fran, 22
9. "I masturbate roughly one to three times a week. When I first started masturbating, I'd use either my fingers or my shower head. Now that I'm 18, I bought myself a vibrator. " — Jill, 18
10. "I was about 11 the first time I masturbated. It was kind of an accident. I had a pillow between my legs to keep them from sticking to each other, and next thing I knew, I was humping the pillow. I usually start off reading sexy stories on Tumblr or porn websites, hump my pillow, and then start to use my hand. I've never talked to anyone about masturbating because I feel like I'd get judged for doing it. But the older I get and the more I hear about women masturbating, the better I feel about it. I don't think of masturbating as a bad thing anymore." — Ada, 18
11. "I was probably like 15 my first time. It was a really awkward and clumsy experience, and I felt guilty for doing it. I just use my hand, and usually if I'm in the mood to do it, I really don't need to think about anything else to help. It makes me feel proud that I'm secure enough with myself and my body to do it. I'm not ashamed at all because theres nothing wrong with doing it. It's a great way to relieve stress." — Michaela, 17
12. "I was 18 when I first tried. It was a super uncomfortable feeling. I think because I felt like it was a 'dirty' thing to do — even though the reason I was trying it in the first place was to familiarize myself with my body while I'm alone so I'd be comfortable and know my body when I was with my boyfriend as our relationship got more serious. I just Googled how to do it. The website I read had a ton of different ways to do it. I used my shower head. I switched the water power setting to a soft little stream. I moved past feeling dirty or embarrassed about masturbating, because I realized how comfy I am with my body now. I'm proud that I'm so in tune with myself." — Jordyn, 19
13. "I was 17 the first time I did it. At first, I didn't know what to do, and then I kind of just learned to move my hips around to get different feelings. I like to fantasize about guys when I'm doing it and I let the faucet do all the work. I want to try it with a dildo or vibrator, but I just don't have the guts to go buy one and risk getting caught with it in my room." — Kelly, 19
14. " I've tried talking to my friends about masturbation. I think they felt uncomfortable and a little astonished that I was so open with my sexuality. I think masturbation is a completely normal and healthy expression of loving your body and who you are. Over the years, I've shifted from feeling guilty to feeling proud of my body." — Lacey, 17
15. "I usually use my hand, but sometimes when I'm really worked up I use a mini vibrator to amp things up. Typically I watch steamy videos, but sometimes I will read written stories as well. The very first time I masturbated, when I was 11 or 12, I was thrilled by it. I instinctively knew it was something I needed to keep to myself, but I apparently didn't do a very good job because about a week or so later, my mom came to talk to me about it (LOL). There was no shame involved, she just wanted me to make sure I only did it when I knew I had private time, as my little sister was in the house as well." — Tori, 23
16. "I stumbled across masturbating when I was 14. I used my fingers to rub my clit really quickly because that's how I thought you were 'supposed' to do it. I Googled tips. Eventually realized I liked slower motions and also lying under the bathtub faucet. I would've rather died than admit that I did it in high school, but once I got to college, my friends started talking about it more openly. That helped me feel comfortable talking about it, too." — Lauren, 22
17. "I was about nine or ten. I kind of stumbled upon it so it was pretty clumsily done. I remember being blown away with how good it felt. Since then, I just capitalized on what I felt and that's how I began masturbating. I masturbate anytime I really feel the need to. Sometimes I fantasize about different situations, read sexy stories, and I have a special playlist of pornos on my iPhone's Reading List that I watch. Growing up in a Christian community keeps me from talking so openly about it to my family, but my friends and I speak about it openly in our small circle." — Carla, 18
18. "I was 12 years old the first time I masturbated. It was an overwhelming experience; I didn't know what I was supposed to feel, and once I felt the rush, I didn't expect to feel it so strongly. I mostly just use my hand, but I've used my shower head a couple times before too. I actually read a lot of young adult books that have sex scenes in them and that would get me really aroused too." — Zaire, 21
Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Lov
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