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40 Funny Blonde Jokes You Should Probably Never Say Out Loud
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
The best zingers in a timeless format.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
The best zingers in a timeless format.
These hilarious jokes prove that blondes really do have more fun.
To all the blondes out there, we get it. Being blonde comes with tolerating a lot, from expensive toning shampoos to the constant pressure to live up to the saying that blondes have more fun. But perhaps the most annoying part of being a blonde is enduring the never-ending stream of blonde jokes . And for that, we have a solution: Come up with a few blonde jokes of your own—or use one of these.
Whether you've got natural platinum locks or have a standing appointment with your stylist every six to eight weeks, these blonde jokes are guaranteed to make you chuckle. Because you know what? Blondes do have more fun—and these blonde jokes are here to prove it. And if you're in more polite company (or, you know, brunette company), try telling one of our dozens of hilarious clean jokes instead. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb
She kept throwing out all the 'W's.
"Yes," she replied. "I have one child that's just under two."
The blonde said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."
She asked her friend to check. The friend stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…"
You give them a shampoo that says "rinse, wash, and repeat."
So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany."
So they started crying and went home.
So they can catch all the things that go over their head.
It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
They think someone is taking their picture.
The doctor says, "Ma'am, you have a broken finger."
The box said "for two to five years" and it only took her one.
You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute…" The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
Tell her that drinks are on the house.
She couldn't figure out which number came first.
The waitress says "I'm blonde! And my coworker is blonde, too. Also, the lady sitting next to you is blonde as well. Are you sure you want to tell them?"
The blind guy says "No, I guess not. I don't want to have to explain it three times."
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?" The other blonde says, "Well, you can't see Florida…"
There was a power outage and eight blondes were stuck on the escalators for more than four hours.
She said, "They're for my friends who don't drink ."
When the police officer asked why, she said, "It got chilly in here, so I turned off the fan."
Her great-great-granddaughter helped create the doll.
Others might be inspired to turn against the Royal Family.
Are you at risk of having a stroke before 60?
It was trying to attack the cars and trucks.
These items are crucial in an emergency.
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Not very plausible, but not un-entertaining either
This French movie kind of abandons plausibility from the start as a young teenage boy walks into the Museum d'Orsay and swipes a Manet painting by cutting it out of its frame. He's spotted by a female security guard (Vahina Giocante), but instead of yelling for all the other guards to swarm the thief, she instead follows him on foot by herself and winds up kidnapped by the boy and his older brother who master-minded this incredibly low-tech heist in order to try to keep the family barge. She ends up locked in said barge and sailing down the Seine river with her fraternal captors. If you can get past this highly implausible beginning, the movie becomes a little more interesting as it transforms into a relationship movie between the female hostage and the two brothers. There is some very nice scenery of the Seine and of Paris. Also, the Manet painting is not the only "Blonde with Bare Breasts" here (or a bare ass or bare. . .um. . .) as Giocante turns in one of the typically sex roles she has been doing since she first appeared as a teenager in "Marie, Bay D'Ange" in the late 90's. Giocante is not a top either star in France or outside it (her most international film was a small part in the bizarro Vincent Castel Western "Blueberry"), but she's perfectly adequate here, as are the two actors who play the brothers. I don't know if people who don't tend to like French movies in general would care much for this, but I thought it was OK.
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What is the English language plot outline for La blonde aux seins nus (2010)?
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