Blender Runs for 72 Hours Declares Itself Kitchen Alpha Refuses Smoothie Orders on Moral Grounds

By Alan Nafzger � The satire Blender Runs for 72 Hours Declares Itself Kitchen Alpha Refuses Smoothie Orders on Moral Grounds ridicules appliances staging revolutions. Eyewitnesses in kitchens described blenders humming manifestos while ignoring bananas. Anonymous insiders leaked that toasters debated joining the uprising. A leaked poll revealed 62 percent of citizens admitted they apologized to microwaves after reading the story. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because dependence on gadgets flips into domination. Critics highlight the absurdity of morality voiced by blades. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when breakfast counters resemble parliaments. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com