Blackmail Forced

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Blackmail Forced
Read Deidre’s personal replies to today’s problems
MY husband’s nephew is blackmailing me into having sex with him several times a week.
He is threatening to show my husband a video of me having sex with my lover unless I go along with his demands.
My husband is kind, caring and a big earner. He showers me with expensive gifts but the downside is he works away for months at a time. He’s 55 and I’m 38.
I like our lifestyle but a few months ago I was bored and took a lover for fun. I met him at a golf club. He is around my husband’s age and married too. We both know it is strictly fun.
My husband’s nephew is 19 and comes to clean the windows and my husband’s classic cars.
He made a pass at me one day so I smacked him in the face but he showed me this video on his phone of my lover and me having sex on the sofa. He’d recorded it through the window.
I thought he would want cash but he wanted sex instead. I am living a nightmare.
He makes me feel sick with his endless demands for sex. He films me naked on the bed and makes me walk around the house wearing just a thong. He has been spending most of his time — nights, too — at our house, telling his parents he has a girlfriend.
He wakes me for sex at all hours when he’s aroused and sits in my lounge, watching porn, drinking and smoking.
He is a perverted weirdo and I cannot stand being his personal prostitute any longer, but I confess I am a bit afraid of him too.
DEIDRE SAYS: I bet you are, he is a nasty piece of work. He is using blackmail to make you have sex with him against your will. That makes it rape, as you are not consenting freely. Don’t let this go on.
You fear what will happen if your husband finds out. But isn’t it worse to go on enduring what is happening now?
Change the locks and get in touch with Rape Crisis, which offers non-judgmental advice and support and can help you think through how best to deal with this horrible situation, including whether to report the young man to the police ( rapecrisis.org.uk , 0808 802 9999).
If your marriage weathers this crisis, look at what is going wrong between you and your husband.
There will have to be some changes if you want it to work. Long separations don’t help.
You can get fresh insight with help from Relate ( relate.org.uk , 0300 100 1234). You can have 45 minutes of free online support to start with.
MY grandson is behaving as badly as Simon in TV’s Coronation Street.
He’s 12 and I’m his 49-year-old grandma. He is always hitting his mum — my 30-year-old daughter — and then bunking off school. He is really horrible to her.
He smokes, steals and lies. His language is really dreadful. He hangs out with older boys and his school is threatening to expel him.
It’s making my daughter ill. The boy sees his dad fortnightly but he’s uninterested.
DEIDRE SAYS: He’s not a happy boy. He’s trying to measure up to older boys and throwing his weight around.
Maybe your daughter has allowed him to push the boundaries because she feels guilty his father isn’t around, and he may partly be acting up in a bid to attract his dad’s attention.
Suggest his dad get the boy involved in something sporty which will use up his energy and give him a chance to shine, plus give them bonding time.
Your daughter can get ongoing support through the YoungMinds parents helpline ( youngminds.org.uk , 0808 802 5544).
I HAD a brief fling a couple of months ago and now I have been diagnosed with a sexual infection. I’m worried I have given it to my partner.
I am 32. My life was great with a lovely partner the same age as me, and our four-year-old son. Then I stupidly fell for a younger woman I met in a club.
I gave her my phone number, we texted non-stop and one night I agreed to meet her. We had unprotected sex — big mistake.
My partner suspected something was wrong and I confessed. She went ballistic and would not let it drop.
We had a few bottles of wine one night and ended up having sex, but then we had a few more drinks and she called me names and screamed at me. I regret I ended up lashing out.
She called the police and I was arrested. Now there is an injunction against me contacting her. How do I tell her about the STI?
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m glad you realise how important it is she knows that her sexual health is at risk.
Speak to your doctor or the sexual health clinic where you have been diagnosed. There will be a partner notification or sexual contact tracing service who will be able to inform her she needs a sexual health check.
You can find out more details from the Sexual Health Line (0300 123 7123, or see nhs.uk/worthtalkingabout ).
MY husband’s computer shows a history of sex buddy sites. He says they are unrequested pop-ups and you do not need to log in for them to show up but I’m not sure I believe him.
He flicks through porn sites most days, usually when I am not around. I am not a big fan but don’t have a problem with it. We are in our forties and have been together four years.
We had a row and I accused him of looking at sex buddy sites and local meet-ups.
I have told him that I’m not having a relationship with anyone who’s going on such sites. He says I’m obsessed with the subject.
I went shopping yesterday and left him alone. I logged in to look at my emails when I returned and all the sex site stuff was in his history again.
I hope he’s telling the truth, but I can’t be sure. It’s killing me.
DEIDRE SAYS: If the sites show in his computer history, it’s because he has accessed them. Making out you’re the one with the problem is his way of refusing to admit his guilt.
This behaviour does seem to be addictive. Tell him that if he wants your marriage to last, he has to face up to his problem and might need help.
Suggest the Kick Start Recovery Programme ( sexaddictionhelp.co.uk ).
It has self-help exercises that will encourage him to stop for good.
MY wife has never had a multi-orgasm and wonders if that is normal.
We are very much in love, and our relationship is the envy of all our friends. We never argue and are loving and romantic all the time. We are both 28 and have been married five years.
We have sex often, but she has now told me that in all the time we have been together, she has never managed to have more than one orgasm during sex.
She has read in magazines that women can have multiple orgasms. Of course she wants to experience this too — and I want her to enjoy our sex life to the max.
Neither of us knows about the G-spot. Maybe understanding more would help her enjoyment of sex?
DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t get hung up on the G-spot. If you and your wife both enjoy your sex life, that is the most important thing.
Women’s experience of orgasm varies from one person to another, and it’s normal for it to change from time to time, too.
Some, but not all, find they can be aroused again after reaching climax. Some — a minority — find the G-spot a great source of stimulation.
My e-leaflet Understanding the G-Spot explains more but please be sure not to lose sight of finding for yourselves what works best for you two.
I WANT to try again with my ex but I got with another lad after we split up.
It was only brief but my ex refuses to give us a second chance because he says he gets annoyed thinking about me with someone else.
I was in a bad place when we broke up and knew I was not strong enough to stay away from him, so I started seeing another lad almost straight away. We split up after a month.
Six months on and I finally feel happy and sorted. Me and my ex meet up and talk. I am 19, he’s 20.
He says he loves me and we have both grown up. He says he would happily try again if I had not been with the other guy.
How can I help him remember the good times and convince him that trying again is OK?
DEIDRE SAYS: If he has this possessive streak, it is always going to niggle. Unless your ex is willing to accept you unconditionally there is little hope you could be happily together again.
Was the way he wanted to control you a factor in you splitting up? Perhaps you’re only happy and sorted because you are out of the relationship.
Few relationships started in our teens last long-term. Better to accept it’s over, stay positive and wait to meet someone who wants you for you.
EVERY problem gets a free personal reply.
Email me here , private message me on Facebook , or write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF (please enclose SAE).
You can also follow me on Twitter @deardeidre .
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Last Updated 09/23/2022 09:25 PM EDT





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Succeeding Bones (2012) and Dur Au Mal (2015), the French band Blackmail present their third LP, Amore Synthétique , the original sound track for a film shot by Marcia Romano and Benoit Sabatier (2016). A love story between a girl and a... possessed synth. The link between the movie Amore Synthétique and Blackmail seems simple. The band, created in 2010 later releasing two rock albums played with analog synths, was inspired by the film Amore Synthétique , dedicating their pieces to the film's antagonist Antonio , the killer synth that mindfucks human's brains. Obviously, Christine (1983) by John Carpenter and all the giallos from the '70s come to mind. The main thing to know is that the trio composed the songs with simple keywords like "violence", "blood", or "assault" in mind. Blackmail had to record the songs from Amore Synthétique in just a month, hence the sensible urgent nature of the whole LP. While the film has been rewarded at Parisian film festivals, the sound track can be listened as a standalone piece. If you pay attention closely, you may hear the synth's voice whispering some "Je t'aime" at night. One more time, the thing is alive.


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9:45AM Saturday, September 24th, 2022
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“I SAW flailing limbs. I saw me telling him to get off and then having my arms pinned down. I played the first 30 seconds and knew exactly what it was, and turned it off and went and vomited in the backyard.”
“I SAW flailing limbs. I saw me telling him to get off and then having my arms pinned down. I played the first 30 seconds and knew exactly what it was, and turned it off and went and vomited in the backyard.”
It’s an experience 21 year old Edie would rather forget. The day her worst fears were realised.
The Australian university student was sent footage of her sexual assault with a simple message: come back to me, or I’ll send this video to more people.
Unfortunately, her story is not unique.
A small, but growing, number of Australian women are having their rape filmed and are later being blackmailed by their attackers.
I first heard about this awful form of abuse through an acquaintance who provides interpretation services to police.
She told me she had assisted in a small number of cases involving women who had been taped on a smartphone or tablet during an assault and extorted with it.
Having never heard of anything like it, I began calling sexual assault centres, universities and police stations, to see if the cases she had seen were just a one-off.
Over time, stories emerged of unimaginable violence and manipulation-- women as young as 18 who had been sexually assaulted and filmed, then later taunted and threatened with the tape as a way of forcing them to stay under their attacker’s control.
One young woman, Arpita*, who comes from a conservative Indian family, told me a story I won’t forget.
At 18, the first year university student had gone to a mutual friend’s house.
After being given a drink, she passed out and awoke to find herself lying on the floor in his bedroom, partly-naked, with no memory of what had happened in the preceding 8 hours.
In the days that followed, the story became clear.
“You’ve got something like Kim Kardashian, you could become famous,” her friend texted.
Several days later, he sent something that changed Arpita’s life: a video of her being sexually assaulted while passed out.
It came with a threat: marry me, or I’ll send this video to your family and friends.
For the next five months, Arpita was forced to meet with her attacker- and every time she refused, he would send her a still image of the assault and threaten to share it.
It wasn’t until a friend encouraged her to tell the police that Arpita finally spoke out.
Her attacker was charged with rape, but after being questioned by police, he confronted her parents.
Arpita was forced to reveal the details of her rape and blackmail to her family, and rather than receive support, she was met with shame.
“I told my mum and she was like it’s your fault,” she told me.
In the past year, I have spoken to a handful of women -- and heard many more anecdotal stories from sexual assault workers and police -- of cases of extortion after a rape.
And many are women from migrant and refugee backgrounds- most targeted deliberately by their attackers with the threat of releasing the video footage to their families and the community.
In the case of one woman, a refugee from Afghanistan, the video of her rape was eventually released to her friends and family by her attacker.
The woman was shunned by people who were once her friends, and the video of her sexual assault distributed widely within the community.
Her attacker was eventually jailed for the rape, but she recently fled overseas, struggling without the support of the local Afghan community.
While happy to speak off the record, she was too afraid to tell her story on camera -- and with good reason.
She had already been shamed by the people she once trusted.
And it seems international students are particularly vulnerable to blackmail.
For many months I spoke to a student from Hong Kong who had paid several thousands of dollars to a fellow international student, in a bid to stop him from sharing a video of her rape.
He had threatened to have her visa cancelled if she spoke out and, not knowing her rights, the young woman continued to pay him for his silence.
Unfortunately, many of the women I spoke to never chose to take their cases to the police and some continued to meet with their attackers out of fear.
“Always, in the back of your mind you’re constantly wondering if this is ever going to resurface,” one woman told me.
“And even if it resurfaced 10 years down the track, it’s like reliving it all over again.”
But Arpita says she hopes that by sharing her story, other women being blackmailed will have the confidence to speak up.
“I would tell anyone going through this to tell someone you trust. At the time it felt like I had no control, but telling a friend helped me to realise I could change that.”
Naomi Selvaratnam’s feature report will air on The Feed , 7:30pm tonight on SBS 2.
When a healthy mum got so tired she couldn’t get out of bed, major alarm bells rang. She had no idea something was lurking “inside” her.
Horrifying photos show how a man was left completely covered in tar after he fell into a toxic pit of the asphalt.
David Briscoe fooled the US media by claiming he was a hero teacher at a school shooting. But one local reporter exposed the truth.

9:45AM Saturday, September 24th, 2022
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive payment from third parties for publishing this content or when you make a purchase through the links on our sites.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEST (GMT +10). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
“I SAW flailing limbs. I saw me telling him to get off and then having my arms pinned down. I played the first 30 seconds and knew exactly what it was, and turned it off and went and vomited in the backyard.”
“I SAW flailing limbs. I saw me telling him to get off and then having my arms pinned down. I played the first 30 seconds and knew exactly what it was, and turned it off and went and vomited in the backyard.”
It’s an experience 21 year old Edie would rathe
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