Black Woman Having Sex
🔞 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Black Woman Having Sex
Was this page helpful?
Yes
No
Performance & security by Cloudflare
You do not have access to medium.com.
The site owner may have set restrictions that prevent you from accessing the site. Contact the site owner for access or try loading the page again.
The access policies of a site define which visits are allowed. Your current visit is not allowed according to those policies.
Only the site owner can change site access policies.
Ray ID:
73a984461f069d43
73a984461f069d43 Copy
By subscribing, you agree to share your email address with EBONY to receive our weekly emails, events, and other updates. Please see our privacy policy for more information.
By subscribing, you agree to share your email address with EBONY to receive our weekly emails, events, and other updates. Please see our privacy policy for more information.
Motion Graphics Designer Lifestyle Director News & Politics Director Style & Beauty Editor Entertainment & Culture Editor Work & Wealth Editor
By subscribing, you agree to share your email address with EBONY to receive our weekly emails, events, and other updates. Please see our privacy policy for more information.
I am a “sex-positive” Black woman , and I believe that the sexual empowerment of Black women is essential. Sex-positivity is a movement that celebrates consensual, safer sex and the multiple facets of human sexuality as natural, empowering experiences. As Black women have a complex, unique history of sexual oppression, from the rape of our enslaved ancestors to contemporary double gender standards, it’s important that we main spaces for conversation and affirmation that are created for us, by us.
Commonly misunderstood, sex-positivity is not a movement rooted in liberating what’s between the legs. Rather, it is a framework for expanding consciousness, promoting tolerance, and rebuilding human respect. It’s a tool for reimagining our bodies, pleasures, and desires as healthy, normal, and diverse. It’s an instrument for reclaiming our power, challenging shame-infesting ideologies, redefining our relationships, and fortifying our sisterhood.
Here are a few key things to understand about this way of thinking :
Sex-positivity is advocacy for Black women, and all other human beings, to experience freedom in sexuality, ignore pop culture pigeonholes, and encourage others to grow in the same capacity. It reaffirms the following: Black women are not hypersexual, despite the presence of this stereotype in mainstream media and Eurocentric history. Sex-positivity reaffirms the need for Black women’s sexual empowerment, as it calls for the repositioning of (consensual, safer) sexual desire and expression as a human norm.
We desire differently. We have different bodies. We have different sexual orientations. We are unique individuals. Thus, sex-positivity creates a space for the freedom to express our many sexualities, without judgment, in various (consensual, safer) ways.
While we certainly have our prejudices, battles with religious dogma, deeply rooted cultural ideologies, and history of pain, we respond to sex-positive leadership that shares and understands our many identities, accommodate our concerns, and transforms our shortfalls into compassion and respect for people of different lifestyles.
Black women are capable of transforming Black communities, and assisting the rest of humanity in growing toward respect for sexual autonomy and freedom. Through sex-positivity, there’s hope for our sisters, aunts, mothers, and girlfriends to be empowered in their desires, openness, and ever-evolving beliefs. There’s hope for our men to become our supporters of this consciousness and for us to equally provide them with support in their various sexualities and sexual expressions. There’s a chance that we might even have a generation of children that aren’t afraid to discuss sex and sexuality in the open without shame or fear of punishment. And thus, they will feel comfortable enough to ask the questions necessary to learn how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases, infections, and other unfortunate calamities.
But again, sex-positivity is about more than sex and even sexual health. It upholds freedom and reinforces basic human values. Sex-positivity is anti-patriarchy and anti-homophobia. It’s not a space for spreading negative, self-serving creeds that discriminate against certain individuals for being human.
Sex-positivity is for the end of sexual abuse, molestation, and assault. It doesn’t protect or respect abusers.
Sex-positivity is for women’s reproductive rights and legislation, as choice and freedom are core elements of its philosophy.
Sex-positivity recognizes that sex and sexuality are intricate and complex human experiences. Thus, it encourages us to always challenge our beliefs, think in tolerance, and respect each individual’s path.
We all have the freedom to chose to travel this world with an open mind or a with closed mentality . But hopefully you agree that it’s better to make mistakes, confront the glare of our prejudices, and grow than to stand still and bathe in the shadow of ignorance. In sex-positivity, we can all nurture and learn from each other.
Arielle Loren is a writer and filmmaker that offers real-life commentary on women’s issues, sexuality, health, and travel. She is the Editor-in-Chief of Corset Magazine , the “go-to magazine for all things sexuality.” Check her out on Facebook , follow her on Twitter @ArielleLoren , and visit her personal site .
Do you practice sex-positivity? Sound-off!
By subscribing, you agree to share your email address with EBONY to receive our weekly emails, events, and other updates. Please see our privacy policy for more information.
Since 1945, EBONY magazine has shined a spotlight on the worlds of Black people in America and worldwide. Our commitment to showcasing the best and brightest as well as highlighting disparities in Black life has been, and will always be, cornerstone to EBONY.
Copyright ©2021 EBONY . All Rights Reserved.
When you sign up for the EBONY newsletter, you’ll be the first to know about all the latest news and updates that are important to you. Gain access to exclusive interviews, videos, special events, and product giveaways delivered right to your inbox!
Was this page helpful?
Yes
No
Performance & security by Cloudflare
You do not have access to medium.com.
The site owner may have set restrictions that prevent you from accessing the site. Contact the site owner for access or try loading the page again.
The access policies of a site define which visits are allowed. Your current visit is not allowed according to those policies.
Only the site owner can change site access policies.
Ray ID:
73a98567aa6e75a3
73a98567aa6e75a3 Copy
'As a black woman I'm always fetishised': racism in the bedroom
Illustration: Natasha Law @breedlondon for the Guardian
Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning
© 2022 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. (modern)
In a Bedfordshire nightclub, white couples queue to have sex with black men. Meanwhile, black women are routinely snubbed on dating sites. Why do racial stereotypes persist when it comes to sex?
I t’s past midnight, November 2016, in Dunstable, a small town in Bedfordshire. My friend Miranda has accompanied me here for moral support. We scale a no-frills metal staircase at the end of an alleyway behind the high street, where a weary blond woman is ruling a domain of coats, cash and lists. She has a defeated manner, like the only sober person at a party when everyone is drunk. I’m wearing a too-big red dress stitched together by a very mediocre tailor in Senegal more than a decade ago. I have no idea why I decided to make myself look so dowdy. Miranda is doing much better; she has obediently put on a basque, along with a skirt much shorter than mine, and boots that elongate her long legs. She’s calmer than me, too. I’ve given the organisers fake Jewish-sounding names. It was the easiest way of manipulating our actual names without revealing the fact that we are both black. Had we sounded black, I’m not sure we would have been allowed in.
As it’s our first time, Eddie – a solid black man, dressed in the standard-issue suit and a bouncer’s armband – has been asked to show us around. His presence is comforting; he seems like an island of sanity in a sea of grotesque chaos. The first thing I see, once Eddie has led us past the dancefloor and the bar, is a shaven-headed black man on his knees on a large bed, with a white woman on all fours, doggy-style. He is wearing an unbuttoned shirt, and nothing else; she is in a basque, suspenders and boots. Another man is kneeling next to him, waiting his turn. To the left, on the same sateen mattress, a woman is kneeling with her back to us, naked from the waist down. A man has his hand on her ample butt cheeks. Other men hover around the bed, beers in hand, watching. “This is one of our playrooms,” Eddie says helpfully. “It’s not too bad now, but it gets very busy later on.”
Arousals is like no place I’ve ever been; part nightclub, part seedy brothel and part all-out orgy. As Eddie continues his tour, we pass endless private rooms – locked, for couples who aren’t in the mood for an audience – and toilets, a shower, a cinema where five white men are half watching porn.
Soon we are in “the dungeon”. There is a gold throne and a series of skulls that belong in a child’s Halloween party. In pride of place is a swing. “The sex swing is very popular,” says Eddie.
Welcome to the Black Man’s Fan Club – a monthly swingers’ night for white women who want to have sex with black men, and their white husbands or partners who want to watch. In the ethnically undiverse world of swingers, the BMFC is marketed as a community of people who “appreciate the extras black men bring”. Tonight’s flyer features an intensely fake-tanned white girl wearing briefs that read, in large letters across her crotch, “I heart black”. Members of the community – both white women and black men – are active on Twitter, where they share pictures of exceptionally large black penises and rough sex in which a black man clearly dominates.
BMFC, the punters tell me, is one of a kind, but the sentiment doesn’t end in Dunstable. In an era of mass porn consumption, black male porn actors having sex with white women is a popular subgenre, and BMWW (black man white woman) erotic novels specifically cater to the fantasy of crudely stereotyped black male aggression and sexual domination. It’s as if the online commercialisation of sexual fantasy has globalised racial stereotypes and sent them freewheeling backwards; it doesn’t take any imagination to surmise exactly what swingers mean when they say they appreciate the “extras” black men bring.
“There are three reasons why the women come here,” explains Wayne, one of the black men who are here to be “appreciated”. Wayne has just come out of a playroom, and has barely bothered to put his clothes back on – his flies low, shirt open, and tie hung nonchalantly around his neck. He’s a good-looking guy, with a toned physique and neatly twisted locks. “One [reason is], black men have bigger penises.” That’s a stereotype, I argue. “It’s not a stereotype!” he replies. “Black men are built differently. You have to acknowledge nature. Number two,” Wayne continues, “black men have better rhythm in bed. That’s also a fact. And thirdly, they are just more dominant. You know, a lot of these women are not satisfied by their husbands, who want them to do all the work. They want to feel a strong man inside them, dominating them. They want an alpha male. That’s what they get here,” he smiles at me, knowingly.
Wayne is leery, drunk, and has a tendency to lean precariously towards me. I can see Miranda looking similarly unnerved.
She’s speaking to Wayne’s friend Darren, who – she later relays – works as a carer for elderly and disabled people in a nursing home. He describes himself as “a freak” and says BMFC is where he comes to indulge his sexual fantasies. Both men are surprisingly happy to answer my increasingly probing questions. I knew there would be older, suburban white couples. But I assumed the men would be sex workers, strippers, or otherwise incentivised guests, whose role was to perform the required services. But these are unremarkable, middle-class black men.
When I ask if they feel fetishised because of their race, they vigorously deny it. “I come for the sex,” Wayne says. “Where else can you go and have sex as many times as you like? Plus, there are no pretences. Everyone is here to get laid, have a good time, it’s really friendly. It’s not like a normal club where everyone has a poker face on. No one’s judging.”
Swinging is not my thing, but I couldn’t care less what consenting adults get up to behind closed doors. It’s not the sex at the Black Man’s Fan Club that bothers me, it’s the racial stereotyping. It feels as if it’s just the latest chapter in a history of sexual stereotyping towards Africans – a history so long and loaded it stands apart from other contemporary fetishes, such as blondes or particular body types.
Why are black men willing to embrace the myths of hypersexuality and abnormally large endowment? “The number of things that have been said about black men in this country for the most part have been about as negative as you can possibly get,” says professor Herbert Samuels, an American expert on sexual desire. “If someone says that you are good at sex, or that your penis is bigger than anyone else’s, that’s about the only positive you can get out of all those negatives. And I think some black men have bought into the myth that they are hypersexual, that their sexual prowess and the size, the physicality, is greater.”
This is what really unsettles me about the Black Man’s Fan Club. Not just the fact that black men’s self-esteem could be so low that this would be a welcome boost, but the fact that everyone in Arousals is, one way or another, unquestioningly complicit in a set of beliefs that have ancient and horrible roots.
When Europeans first came into contact with the African continent, they indulged in an imaginative riot of fantasy. Elizabethan travel books contained a heady mix of fact and pure invention, which confused English readers and popularised wildly fictional versions of the place and its people. “Like animals,” one account reported, Africans would “fall upon their women, just as they come to hand, without any choice”. African men had enormous penises, these accounts suggested. One writer went so far as to claim that African men were “furnisht with such members as are after a sort burthensome unto them”.
Stereotypes about the sexual prowess of black people have an equally illustrious presence in literature, journalism and art. Even a left-leaning British publication like the Daily Herald ran front-page stories with headlines such as “Black scourge in Europe: sexual horror let loose by France on the Rhine”. The author of that 1920 splash complained that the “barely restrainable bestiality” of black troops stationed in Europe after the end of the first world war had led to many rapes, which was particularly serious because Africans were “the most developed sexually” of any race – a “terror and a horror unimaginable”.
Black men are still unfairly portrayed as rapists – not least by US president Donald Trump, who in 1989 called for the death penalty for five black teenagers, the so-called Central Park Five convicted of raping a female jogger in New York. Their convictions were later overturned and the miscarriage of justice these young men had suffered exposed. But in 2014, Trump still refused to accept their innocence. He told a journalist this stance would help in his campaign for the presidency, and he found many receptive audiences for his racially loaded claim that Mexico was sending its “rapists” to America .
Stereotypes of black and other ethnic minority men as sexually threatening on the one hand, and sexually desirable on the other, are two sides of the same hypersexuality myth. The former continue in inaccurate data spread virally on social media, pointing to false statistics about the prevalence of sexual assaults by black men. The latter have filtered into popular culture, such as the sayings, widespread when I was at school and university, that white women who have sex with black men have “jungle fever”, and that “once you go black, you never go back”. They are implicit in the belief, internalised by Wayne at the BMFC, that black men have “extras” in bed.
M y friend Sarah has no time for anything like BMFC. She knows a lot about the swinging scene because, together with her husband, she has been a keen swinger for a decade. If there is a stereotype of your average British swinger, Sarah is not it. She is black, as is her husband, in a scene that is known to be predominantly white. Throughout their years of marriage, they have frequented swinging parties, and as their age and earning power have increased, they’ve developed a taste for high-end events which require expensive annual memberships and rigorous vetting of one’s appearance, income and background.
Sarah loves these parties. She describes the pleasure of slipping on expensive underwear and a cocktail gown, looking and smelling exquisite, knowing that every ounce of effort will be explored and appreciated by numerous partners of both sexes. She talks about arriving, and the breathtaking impression of the venues – imposing stately homes in landscaped gardens, her husband in black tie by her side, being served champagne and oysters, and meeting other like-minded and often impressive couples. Then, she explains, the lights are dimmed, and people begin retreating to a series of decadent playrooms.
Sometimes Sarah and her husband notice, when they arrive, a sharp intake of breath. “We don’t tend to have issues with people of our generation – the ones who went to the same schools as us, and probably had girlfriends who were black or white,” she explains. “But when it comes to the older generation who are probably racist by day – the CEOs, the managing directors – we have walked in and literally felt them, looking at us and thinking, ‘Will I get a chance with them?’ It’s gross.” Sarah shakes her head. “We are not here to be fetishised.”
But a risk of being fetishised is a hazard of the hobby. “We have had weird experiences,” Sarah admits. “I remember there was this one French couple; the woman was writhing against the wall in her Agent Provocateur underwear. And her husband was the one who found people for her. He came up to me and was like, ‘Your husband… can we? My wife loves black men.’ And I was like, ‘No, he’s not available.’ When people say to me, ‘I love black men’, instead of saying that they just love men, that tells me it’s a fetish.”
In contrast to the Black Man’s Fan Club, at Sarah’s high-end swinging parties, black women have just as much exotic appeal. “They look at me as if they are thinking, ‘Oh my God, what’s she gonna do, backflips?’ I keep telling people, we all have the same anatomy. I have a vagina, you have a vagina. What, do you think it’s got a flipping motor in it?
“These people are so repressed,” Sarah laughs. “You just have to talk to them sometimes, a
Fairy Odd Parents Xxx
Bubble Butt Shemales
Pegging And Milking