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Why Redefining the Stereotypes of African American Mothers is Long Overdue
A woman's worth is often evaluated based on her performance as a mother, but Hafsat Abiola says it's even more important for women to make a difference outside the home.
Catherine Haley Epstein’s paintings touch on the many ways women’s identities shift and change when they become mothers.
Artist Shira Richter, a mother to twins, uses her own body as a medium for her art. She discusses the message she's aiming for, and the surprising responses she receives.
Margaret Lazarus’ film “BirthMarkings” explores our post birth bodies—and how our self-image—change after giving birth.
Leading thinkers and activists share game-changing ideas about motherhood and improving maternal health and women's rights.
I entered motherhood double-degreed, successful, high earning, and unmarried, and it became clear from the glances of nurses and the blaringly empty "Father's Name" line on my child's birth certificate that my identity had been formed decades before my existence, by people, powers, and forces which I could never control. "Black single mother" was all they saw that day, unable to sense my Ivy League education from my hospital gown.
Who am I? I am a black woman. From the day of my own birth this has been my primary identity. Black female child. Black female girl. Black female woman. And so it was my presumption that this would forever be my central identity, and all my other roles: wife, daughter, sister, mother, professional, friend --would orbit around that. The moons to my black North star.
But from the moment I became a mother I felt my universe shift. My identity forever altered in a way that I had never suspected.
I entered motherhood double-degreed, successful, high earning, and unmarried, and it became clear from the glances of nurses and the blaringly empty "Father's Name" line on my child's birth certificate that my identity had been formed decades before my existence, by people, powers, and forces which I could never control. "Black single mother" was all they saw that day, unable to sense my Ivy League education from my hospital gown. There was a stereotype about "bad" black mothers, and that became my identity to some.
Four years later and married, I gave birth to a beautiful black boy. And I saw my identity shift and my mothering burden grow heavier. For to give birth to an endangered species, in a societal environment that does not value but mostly fears the black male, caused yet another adjustment to my identity. Black mothers breed trouble. Or athletes.
It became painfully clear to me that ideas about black mothers were deeply entrenched and beyond my control. In fact, the slow demise of black motherhood began in slavery where we were viewed as breeders producing commodities, not as real humans, and therefore we had no control over our experience in motherhood or our children. As slaves, our children were often ripped from our bosoms and sold, as we stood helpless in despair. What followed was a long tradition of pathologizing black motherhood. As a result, mainstream culture still sees black motherhood as a distortion of true motherhood ideals, and therefore unworthy of true parity with the white woman's experience.
The stigma of Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s 1965 report “The Negro Family: The Case for National Action,” which designated black mothers as the principal cause of a culture of pathology, stuck. Moynihan’s research predated the 1964 Civil Rights Act, but instead of identifying the structural barriers facing African-American communities, he blamed black mothers for the state of African-American families. The now-infamous Moynihan Report encouraged the nation not to view black mothers as women doing the best they could in tough circumstances, but instead to blame them as unrelenting cheats who unfairly demand assistance from the system.
And if Walter Lippmann is correct in saying that how we come to understand the world is a function of the “pictures in our heads,” and that the media plays a crucial role in the formation of these images, then the collective identity of African-American mothers is in crisis.
Because the “pictures in our heads” of black mothers, thanks to American cultural stereotypes, Hollywood, and media images, depict them as crackheads, single mothers with deadbeat-dad issues, welfare queens, violent, uneducated, neck-rolling sassy maids, smart-talking fishwives. Alternatively, we are being portrayed by a man, in a fat suit and a wig, per Eddie Murphy and Tyler Perry films so popular here in the US. We are rarely seen as nurturing mothers or (gasp!) intentional parents with committed husbands, let alone successful women who don trendy shoes, fabulous handbags, and have some of the same romantic-comedy-worthy struggles as any other parent or would-be parent.
Years ago, all we had was Claire Huxtable from "The Cosby Show," the popular American TV show from the 80s As a teenager, I glued my eyes to the TV every Thursday night dreaming about a high-powered career, well-appointed brownstone (or other dream house), and a professional man who rubbed my feet even though he had a tiring day too. She was the original strong black woman with a career, beautiful kids and a successful man who adored her. Claire Huxtable was the first time we saw a black mother having it all—not just taking care of somebody else's family. We looked to fictional characters for a rare glimpse into a life TV that white women had been enjoying for years.
Claire Huxtable would have a whole lot to say about the current portrayals of black women. Just pan the channels, and you'll see black women as drink-tossing, weave-snatching, oh-know-you-didn't single moms in some sort of conflict with a man or the father of our children. These kinds of stereotypes are dangerous especially with very few positive images to counter them. What a shame.
Even with a highly educated, modern black woman who is a self-described “mom in chief” serving as the First Lady of the United States, black women are not included in any of the mainstream mommy dialogue in this country — which is dominated by white and affluent voices. We aren’t seen as thinkers in this mommy movement who have an important perspective in shaping the future of maternity leave and child-care issues. Nor is our journey in motherhood and middle-class angst and bliss told in cutesy books or on network sitcoms about modern family.
Ever since I launched MochaManual.com , I've been having an honest and robust conversation about the life as a mother of color, including the media stereotypes and negative misconceptions about black moms. In those online and offline conversations, we've lamented our invisibleness and not being viewed as intentional, nurturing mothers and women who love and cherish their own children. We've been angry that we are viewed as ideal candidates for taking care of others' people children but somehow unfit to raise our own.
We want the world to see black motherhood for what it is--as varied and complex as any other motherhood experience. And that is all good.
Kimberly Seals Allers is an award-winning journalist, a leading commentator on African American motherhood and breastfeeding issues, and author of The Mocha Manual to a Fabulous Pregnancy (Amistad/HarperCollins) and two other Mocha Manual™ books. She is founder of MochaManual.com , a parenting website for African Americans and Black Breastfeeding 360°. Kimberly is currently an IATP Food & Community Fellow, focused on increasing awareness of the first food--breast milk, particularly in vulnerable communities. A divorced mother of two, Kimberly is a graduate of NYU and Columbia University and lives in Queens, New York.

Content And Community For Black Moms

Content And Community For Black Moms

Flickr user Burns Library, Boston College

Meilan Carter-Gilkey is a freelance writer and a writing coach who blogs about being a parent of sons 16 years apart. She has an MFA from Mills College in creative writing and her work has appeared in Mutha Magazine, Heart&Soul, and elsewhere.
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Content And Community For Black Moms
Raising children is an accomplishment in itself, but these 10 mothers also did so while making history.
As we celebrate Black History Month , we reflect on those brilliant minds, strong hearts, and brave souls who have affected our lives and the world. So often we remember the accomplishments of those who came before us, but we forget that many of them had families who had to bear the sacrifice and share their loved ones with the world.
We want to recognize a few of these amazing women for leading rebellions, breaking color lines, and making history while navigating the everyday challenges of raising children.
Before earning the Presidential Medal of Freedom and gracing the world with her breathtaking poetry, Maya Angelou dropped out of high school at 14 and became the first Black woman cable car conductor in San Francisco. (She would later return and graduate, gaining the first of many degrees.)
A single mother to her son Guy when she was 17, Angelou supported them by working as a waitress and a cook, while still finding time to stoke her creative passions.
She eventually became an award-winning writer, musician, actress, dancer, director, journalist, political activist, and educator.
Dr. Mayme Clayton believed “children should know that Black people have done great things” and she dedicated 40 years of her life to make it so.
She accumulated a vast collection of Black literature, documents, photographs, films, books, and memorabilia that was shared first as a bookstore and later as a library out of her home and her garage. This highly respected collection originated from garage sale and used bookstore finds and grew to become a treasured resource for scholars and communities in Los Angeles and abroad.
Also a wife and mother of three sons (Avery, Lloyd, and Renai), Clayton served the community with original programming, such as Black film festivals to share her compiled works. As the collection outgrew her home, her eldest son Avery became the executive director of the Mayme A. Clayton Library & Museum (MCLM) and he secured a new home for the collection in the former Culver City Courthouse, shortly before her death in 2006.
The talented Ruby Dee was best known as an award-winning actress of stage and screen alongside her husband, the great Ossie Davis. But her roles went beyond acting—she was also an accomplished screen and songwriter.
Friends with both Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X, Ruby Dee and her husband were active participants in the Civil Rights Movement.
Dee was also the mother to their son Guy, who grew up in the family business and eventually composed music with his mother for the family musical Take It from the Top! , which Davis directed and Dee wrote.
Josephine Baker is known around the world for her comedic dancing, particularly her famous banana routine. But Baker was much more than a performer.
After facing racism in the states, she found more acceptance and an extremely successful career in Paris.
When she returned to the states many years later, she actively fought against discrimination, earning her a day of recognition by the NAACP. In addition to being an activist, she was a war hero for the French Army during World War II.
Baker was also the adoptive mother of 12 children, which she called the “Rainbow Tribe” because of her children’s diverse ethnic and religious backgrounds, to prove people could coexist no matter their origins.
There is no single genre of music or style of singing that can capture Nina Simone ’s multidimensional career and dynamic contribution.
With a background in classical and religious music that started at the early age of 3, Simone was accepted into Juilliard to study classical piano. She began a career as a singer and performed covers and originals from jazz, blues, spirituals, pop, soul and folk music.
Some of her most notable songs were Civil Rights songs such as “Young, Gifted, and Black” and “Mississippi Goddam,” which was an original song in memory of the Birmingham, Alabama church bombing and the murder of Civil Rights leader Medgar Evers. This song marked a turning point in her career and was an anthem in its time.
In addition to her remarkable career, Simone had a daughter, Lisa Simone Kelly, a talented singer in her own right.
Dr. Shirley Jackson may not be a household name, but her work has had a major affect on the world of physics and technology for more than 40 years.
Dr. Jackson has the honor of being the first African-American woman to receive her PhD from Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Theoretical Solid State Physics. Her research has contributed to companies such as Bell Telephone and AT&T Bell Laboratories.
She has also won numerous awards, taught at prestigious universities, served on several boards, and her accomplishments don’t end there—she’s also the President of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and has a son, Alan, with her physicist husband Dr. Morris A. Washington.
Harriet Tubman ’s name is synonymous with the Underground Railroad, but Tubman’s other contributions are a testament to the awe-inspiring force that she was.
Her resume includes working for the Union Army as a cook, nurse, scout, and spy. She led the Combahee River Raid in South Carolina, which resulted in the liberation of over 700 slaves and made her the first woman to lead a military expedition. Her accomplishments also included adopting an infant girl named Gertie with her second husband Nelson Davis.
Before she was known as Madame CJ Walker , Sarah Breedlove was the first freeborn in her family.
A widow, Sarah earned $1.50 a day as a washerwoman to send her daughter A’Leila to school while she attended night school.
After remarrying and building her hair care empire, Madame CJ Walker became the first American woman to become a self-made millionaire, as well as a philanthropist and an activist. Her daughter eventually joined her mother’s business and is recognized in her own right as an important contributor to the Harlem Renaissance.
Being a Black female congresswoman speaking against racism in the 1970s is definitely an achievement, but serving in office as a mother was even more impressive back then.
Representative Yvonne Brathwaite Burke was mother to her stepdaughter Christine, and became most recognized as the first woman to serve in Congress while expecting a child. She became the first member of Congress to receive maternity leave after the birth of her second daughter Autumn in 1973.
Writer, feminist, peace advocate, internationalist, and political organizer… Frances M. Beal has had many titles in her life. Beal has dedicated the majority of her 75 years to fighting for liberation and equality.
The daughter of a Jewish mother and an African-American father, Beal had an early understanding of racism and discrimination that greatly influenced her.
With experiences and leadership roles in several Civil Rights organizations, as well as African Liberation, feminist and peace movements, Beal critiqued the multiple oppressions faced by Black women in these movements in her noteworthy pamphlet, “Double Jeopardy: To Be Black and Female.”
She continued an active political life and she and her husband welcomed two daughters while living in Paris. Although she’s officially retired, Beal volunteers with various organizations in the Bay Area.
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