Black Man Having Sex With White Woman
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Black Man Having Sex With White Woman
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A New Orleans Justice of the Peace has brought the topic of interracial dating back to the forefront, after denying a Black man and White woman to marry. Does interracial dating still matter?
Cinema’s inclusion of the topic of Black men dating White women dates back to the days when television could only be seen in black and white. In 1969, Sidney Poitier starred with Katharine Hepburn in “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” as their families react to the interracial marriage. The movie was released in December, just a few months after 17 southern states overturned laws that interracial marriages were illegal.
The notion that once some Black men reach success they trade in a sister for a White woman was all too real for Angela Bassett’s character Bernadette in the 1996 movie “Waiting to Exhale.” In the film based on Terry McMillan’s best-selling book, Bernadette coped with her trampled heart by blazing some of her husband’s prized possessions. After 11 years of helping her husband build his dream career, she found herself replaced, sending a message to many women to always look out for self and be prepared for the unknown.
In 2001’s “The Brothers,” lawyer Brian Palmer (Bill Bellamy), left, finds out that the stereotype that Black women are more aggressive and White women are more meek is just that in his “White women only” love life. His flip responses push the buttons of his latest conquest and her karate moves make him realize he can’t put women in boxes.
If the plot from “Obsessed” of a relationship brewing between a married Black man and a new White secretary at work sounds familiar, think back to Spike Lee’s “Jungle Fever,” which hit theaters in 1991. In the film, Flipper Purify (Wesley Snipes) and Angie Tucci (Annabella Sciorra) actually begin dating, to the disapproval of their family and friends.
Our grandmothers are overflowing with knowledge, but when it comes to catching the attention of a brother their tried methods may not be as effective, says comedian and ESSENCE relationship columnist Finesse Mitchell.
“My beautiful Queens of Color, White women don’t have Big Mamas. When a White woman—let’s call her Becky (because we think they’re all named Becky)—likes ‘Marcus,’ she’s all up in his face, getting his attention. Becky takes the guesswork out of who likes who, and some men like that. If a Black woman likes Marcus, she telepathically sends him a message that he almost never gets,” says Mitchell.
Finesse points out that White women are sometimes more open to dating a Black man who happens to be a “regular Joe.”
“We all have standards—we know some White women have a rep for scouting out our Black talented athletes when they’re still in high school—but some White women give a Black man a chance who Black women wouldn’t give a second look,” he says.
Black men and White women are working the dance floor and Finesse encourages sisters to join the fun.
“My single Black female friends say all the time how they don’t like it when they see a good-looking Marcus walking around with a Becky at the club. I encourage my friends to focus inward, not outward. I tell them to just have a good time in social settings, and take the initiative to meet two new people. Black guys do it. White girls definitely do it,” he says.
The “angry Black woman” label is an unfortunate stereotype, says Audrey Chapman, longtime relationship therapist and author of the book “Getting Good Loving” (Agate Books). “The [mainstream] media does a lot to support this. Black women are naturally very giving, supportive and spend a lot of time taking care of others,” explains Chapman. She does add, however, that we are less likely than our White counterparts to go to the gym, spa or take a relaxing solo vacation that allows us time to unwind. “We can grow weary. That weariness can grow into frustration and ultimately anger,” Chapman reveals.
The idea of White women being more accommodating and docile than their Black counterparts is another unfortunate stereotype, according to Chapman. “I find that White women are actually more aggressive and strategic when it comes to relationships,” she says. “White women are more likely to have better support systems in place, like a nanny, so they aren’t trying to do everything themselves which might be the reason for them seeming less intense or frustrated with life,” she adds.
Many argue that Black women could afford to loosen up a bit when it comes to dating by taking the pressure off of themselves for finding a husband after date No. 3 and simply enjoying the company of male suitors. It’s a practice that Chapman attributes to the Black marriage being on a steady decline since the 1960’s.
“Black women are definitely more pressed [than their White female peers] to find a husband,” she says.
Both men and women have complained that many Black men stop dating sisters after they reach a certain financial and/or career status. Even Grammy-winning artist Kanye West expressed it in his 2005 hit “Gold Digger.”
“This week he mopping floors next week it’s the fries So, stick by his side… …You stay right girl But when he get on he leave your a** for a White girl”
While in the past the issue of raising interracial children might have been a concern of those considering dating outside of their race, it is becoming far less common.
In the age of President Barack Obama (the product of a White American woman and Black African man) both sexes are much more open.
For many Black women, it isn’t the idea of a Black man dating a White woman that is unsettling, but the quality of the woman chosen.
“If you take a step down, it is something about us that is intimidating,” says Jeri of Baltimore. “There is nothing wrong with a White woman, but come on now, step your game up. I was definitely surprised to see Ice-T marry Coco.”
Interracial dating is nothing new and won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. And for sisters looking for love, the best bet is to stay as open as possible to the many shapes and shades it may come in, from brothers and beyond.
“Black people need to give one another a break. We’re all a little jaded from past relationships, but that shouldn’t hold us back from being polite to someone new, even when we’re not interested. That person could later introduce you to someone God has made especially for you,” Finesse says.
What’s your take on White women dating Black men?
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Home » News » Why white women are s3xually attracted by black men; black women by white men
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There is evident increase in interracial dating in the US, and also across Europe, many of which lead to marriage. This trend has seen black men becoming more attracted to white women, and white men becoming attracted to black women. Since the 1967 US Supreme Court decision that fully legalised interracial marriage in all the states, this practice has not witnessed as much of such cases as since 2000, according to statistics.
In 1970, revealed a Stanford University study, there were only 65,000 marriages involving African-Americans and whites. In 2005, that number had grown to 422,000. Among all interracial couples, they represented two percent of marriages in 1970. In 2005, that number was up to seven percent of the 59 million marriages in the United States.
So, what is responsible for this growing trend? “Some of the growth can be accounted for by declining societal prejudice towards – and less shame experienced by – people in interracial marriages”, says encyclopedia.com . It goes on to add that couples tend to start a relationship based on four important reasons: the attractiveness of the partner, shared common interests, shared similar entertainment interests, and socio-economic similarities.
Of all these, reports indicate that the attractiveness, comfortability and compatibility of the couple’s sexuality is the primary reason for interracial dating, and every relationship that leads to marriage starts with dating. The choice, says one expert, mainly lies with the female partner, as a woman has the final say in every relationship: either to accept or turn down a proposal. As sexual satisfaction and compatibility are of paramount importance to their happiness, her happiness lies on how much her man satisfies her romantically.
“Partners in interracial relationships reported significantly higher relationship satisfaction compared to those in intraracial relationships”, says Research Gate, a US-based study group. However, no differences were found for conflict or attachment style, and no differences found between interracial and intraracial relationships in relationship quality, conflict patterns, relationship efficacy, coping style, and attachment.
White woman/black man, black woman/white man sexuality
Different experts and commentators have ascribed sexual satisfaction as the major reason white women date black men. “Mudshark” is the word most white guys in the US and across Europe use in describing such women, though in contempt as they insist the women engage in it out of low esteem as they are not good enough for the white guys. Other reasons given by these men are that these women hold the misconception that white men are not masculine enough compared with the blacks, which lead them to experiment with black guys; that the white women also do it in rebellion against the old prejudice of whites against blacks, and in the process drawing attention to themselves.
One white male respondent on a popular Facebook chat group even accused the mudsharks of longing for the ‘‘filling’’ mythical black manhood, based on the belief that blacks are more virile and better endowed ‘‘down there’’. The position of these whites has been that the relationships do not last long and often end in heartbreak for the white women. However, this cannot be entirely acceptable, considering the growing number of interracial marriages between white women and black men in the US and across the Atlantic. This clearly smacks of envy on the part of the whites.
A white girl on a popular chat group girlsaskguys , recently posted a question: ‘‘Ladies, have you ever had sex with a black guy?’’ The responses she received were as varied as they were revealing: one said no, but she looked looked forward to it, and wanted to know if the enquirer has done so, for her to reveal the experience.
Another revealed she has done it with many black guys, that she ‘‘enjoyed most of it’’ and described black men as confident, and recommended every white girl should try it. The enquirer then asked: “So are they bigger in the pants or is this myth?” To which the I-Have-Done-It responded: “It’s basically a myth, but as with any race of guys, some do come along with very large sholongs. Can’t say that more of the black race has them than any other, though!”
Still on girlsaskguys , a white male member posted: “Do black men have a higher stamina and length compared to white guys? I have just had my black girlfriend, and I am feeling pressured!” And he explained his predicament: “I have just got together with a black girl.
The first one I have been with and I’m her first white guy. We were talking about sex the other night and she put some doubts in me because she was like she had only been with black men and she said that they are better equipped and last longer. Now, I don’t have problems in my ability or myself. Its just made me feel pressured. Am I correct to feel this, and was her statement correct? Just feeling a bit pressured.”
One white male respondent posted: “It’s a myth.” Another posted: “I’m not black and I have a horse cock”, and added: “They call me ‘cockzilla’.”
It is clear that the controversy of black men having better libido than white men has contributed to the drive for white women seeking out black men. However, can the same be said about foreplay and romance between a black man and a white man? Investigations revealed that white men are better than black men in that department.
That perhaps explains why the number of black women dating whites is rising almost at the same rate as white women urging for black men, as the black women apparently find the white men exotic, fascinating and exciting in foreplay, especially oral sex, before the real thing. Writing on the chat group, NIA (Nigerians in America) , some years back, Dr. Sabella Ogbobode Abidde, a US-based Nigerian writer posted about a meeting with friends and her ideas for her next work: “I am going to tell the story of two men, one white and one black, and their experiences with sexing outside their race.” Then she posted her admiration for oral sex and foreplay as promoted by whites, especially white men.
Also from girlsaskguys was the poser from a white girl: “Do black guys like to give oral sex just as much as white guys do?” And the inquiry: “I’ve had white and black boyfriends and I noticed that all my white boyfriends had no problem going down on me but some of my black boyfriends just would not do it. Why is that? Is it just that the black guys I picked don’t give oral sex? Or maybe the white boyfriends, for some funny reasons, are more into pleasing their girl than the black guys?”
One white female respondent posted: “Not to be racist but black guys tend to be more cocky and better than what others think of them …. This goes for the friends and people I know. They say ‘I’m too good to eat pussy and shit’, while the white guy is more of a gentleman.” Then another white female posted: “Don’t make an assumption about all black people just from the ones that you know.”
There was almost uniformity in their comments that white men are far better than black men in foreplay and romance because the whites are naturally warm and caring and are out to please their women almost selflessly.
There is no doubt that, while white women enjoy foreplay, they are more attracted by the virility of the black man; and while black women equally like their fellow strong and long-lasting blacks, they find the patience and gentlemanliness to please them by the whites to be romantically exciting.
However, statistics has shown that there are more cases of white women going for black men than vice versa. Investigations have revealed that, in the US and across Europe, many male migrant black Africans, especially illegal migrants, take advantage of this trend to watch out for white women, and eventually get married to them, in order to secure citizenship status or resident permit.
Can these rising cases of racial attraction be traced to the human hormones which is said to be produced in an organism and transported in tissue fluids such as blood to stimulate specific cells or tissues into sexual behaviour?
The role of the human hormones in sexual desire has often posed challenges to sex experts and researchers. What drives sexual desire? What is the root cause of that urge to have sex and how? Different theories have been propounded by different experts. They all boil down to the hormones.
However, unlike what some believe, there is nothing like male and female hormones, according to medical experts at the Inner Balance Health Centre, Loveland, Colorado, US; a claim which has also been supported by other medical experts. In its April 20, 2012 newsletter, Inner Balance Health Centre researchers stated that “Technically, these two categories (male and female hormones) don’t exist. The sex hormones: estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone are found in everyone but in different proportions and with unique functions. It is the balance of all three hormones in the body that promotes health and sexual vitality.”
However, estrogen is usually thought of as a “female” hormone because in women, it is made in the ovaries, adrenal glands, and fat cells and its levels are higher in those of reproductive age. In healthy amounts, it promotes growth of the uterine lining during the first half of the menstrual cycle, contributes to sexuality in many ways, helps prevent bone loss, and works toward maintaining good cholesterol levels, according to experts. In men, small amounts of estrogen are made as a by-product of testosterone conversion.
And testosterone, considered the male hormone because it is produced in the testicles and to a lesser degree in the adrenal glands, helps build muscle tone, increases energy, contributes to a healthy libido, and aids in sperm production. Levels decline with age and with high stress in the body. The third sex steroid frequently mentioned for sexual health is pregesterone, which in women, is produced in the ovaries and through ovulation. It basically balances the unwanted effects of estrogen.
So, can this new trend in interracial relationship be traced to the hormones? Investigation revealed that medical and sex experts have not devoted time to relate the hormones to why white women are now attracted to black men and black women attracted to white men. However, it is apparent that sexual appeal and compatible sexuality are the major driving force behind this trend.
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