Bisexual Women Dating

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Bisexual Women Dating
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Looking for love? These apps are here to help.
If you're looking for love, chances are your search involves some kind of swiping on a screen. And bisexual or pansexual people are no different, although they're often not looking for polyamorous relationships despite what the stereotypes say (not that there's anything wrong with that if you are!).
Even though bisexuals outnumber both lesbians and gay men in the LGBTQ+ family, the population is frequently discriminated against, according to a study published in the University of Richmond Law Review . Some people refuse to acknowledge that bisexuality is a valid orientation, resent bisexuals who can "pass" as straight or claim that they're not "gay enough" to participate in queer culture. As a result, bisexuals are less than half as likely as gay or lesbian people to have come out to most or all of the people in their lives. That's why finding a bisexual-friendly dating app where your authentic self is both welcome and celebrated is so important.
We've curated a list of dating apps for bisexuals and pansexuals that operate from a place of respect and inclusivity. Apps like OkCupid have lots of identity markers, so you can tailor your searches closely. Others like Tinder and Grindr have large user bases, increasing the chances you'll find your match. Finally, we've included apps like Feeld and #Open that do cater to those looking for ethical non-monogamy and polyamory, since three (or more) is not a crowd if everyone enthusiastically consents to the arrangement. Love is love, no matter what it looks like.
An oldie but goodie, OkCupid has added lots of LGBTQ+-friendly gender identity and sexual orientation options over the years, making it more inclusive than some of the competition. Because dating profiles on OkCupid have lots of markers for matchmaking, you can get pretty granular about what you and potential dates have in common.
Because it has a huge volume of users, you may have to do lots of swiping to find your match. But playing the numbers game can also improve your chances, so it's a double-sided coin. If you're the type who likes a lot of options, give Tinder a swipe.
We all know that a date who comes with a personal reference has an extra level of credibility. That's where Hinge comes in. It matches users with friends-of-friends, so you can check their vibes before agreeing to meet IRL. It calls itself "the dating app designed to be deleted," so if you're seeking a relationship, this app might be the one for you.
Deadline-driven folks and those with decision FOMO, we've got an app for you. Bounce users "check in" when they want a date, and get matched with other local singles right away. Matches have one minute to decide whether they want to go for it, and the app chooses a local meeting point for you. If you're sick of the endless ping-pong of online messaging, maybe it's time to bounce.
Bisexual or pansexual women who like to make the first move may find their fit on Bumble. Women have to message first to initiate a match, so you'll be less likely to accidentally greenlight creepy dudes. Both hetero and queer users are on the platform too.
Because of its clear zero-tolerance policy for discrimination or hate speech of any kind, Lex is a good app to find like-minded queer people. It's also text-based, for those who want to pick a potential partner on more than a pretty face or (let's be real) the ability to apply a filter.
While it's most popular with cis men seeking other cis men, Grindr calls itself the world's largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans and queer people. Every shade of the rainbow can find a match on this very popular LGBTQ+ app.
The League is an application-based app that requires users to enter their job title, their alma mater and LinkedIn profile in order to be accepted. It can take some time to get approved in larger cities and yeah, it's a little elitist, but it might be worth it to find your perfect person.
One of the largest (and oldest) communities for people seeking multiple partners, Feeld is a good bet if you're looking to cast a wide net. It also allows couple accounts, if you're dating as a duo.
Not all bisexuals are looking for multiple partners, but some are – and that's beautiful. #Open works to create an inclusive, respectful community where members can be themselves, as well as educating society on how to protect and empower our most vulnerable members.

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This piece originally appeared on Femsplain.com . Femsplain is a community for everyone, powered by personal stories from anyone female-identified. It has been given minor edits before re-posting.
As any woman knows, dating, even in the age of Tinder and OKCupid can be an ordeal akin to slogging through a fetid marsh in search of treasure. For bisexuals, and indeed anyone who does not identify as being straight, gay, or lesbian, this is further complicated by the numerous stereotypes that have been associated with them.
In my experience, I’ve found that it’s often necessary to approach dating as though it was a hostile fortress in Skyrim, which seems appropriate, given how many men view bisexual women as tokens to be won. The problem is that it’s not always easy to identify these men, and I’ve had dozens of conversations that began promisingly, only for the issue of sexuality to come up and things to suddenly slide into a surreal horror movie. My bisexuality is seized like Excalibur by men who transform from good company to creeps in nanoseconds. Being treated like an anomaly is in no way a turn-on, particularly when it’s not as if LGBTQ people are an endangered population.
According to surveys done in the United States and around the world, an estimated 3.5% of adults in the United States identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual and an estimated 0.3% of adults are transgender, with the National Health Interview Survey finding that 0.7% of adults consider themselves bisexual .
The results of such surveys would suggest there are approximately nine million LGBTQ Americans, that there are more bisexual women than men, and therefore far more of them are looking for a date than is suggested by the media. However, there remain a few hurdles to finding love, among them the fact that the very definition of bisexuality is under debate.
Bisexuality may be defined as “romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior toward both males and females, or romantic or sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender identity.” The latter may be considered as a separate orientation, that being pansexuality. To sum up, some people identify as being pansexual rather than bisexual, and others as bisexual and are attracted to people regardless of gender identity or sex. All of this means that human sexuality is extremely diverse, in spite of the prejudices that still exist.
Many of the stereotypes and assumptions about bisexuals are wildly inaccurate, and often also offensive. Of them, “wow, you’re bi, you must not have any trouble finding a date” is both.
As it happens, identifying yourself as bisexual isn’t a guarantee to fill your dance card, and it often deters members of the queer community — which is odd because one might think that they would be the most open to dating people who are attracted to more than one gender.
In fact, some lesbians and gay men are hostile toward bisexuals because they think that being bi is “just a phase,” your sexuality is “college experimentation” and that you should “pick a side already.” Contrary to popular misconceptions, sexuality is not a matter of teams, and you don’t have to choose. Even so, when asked if they would date a bisexual woman, many lesbians often say “no,” with their answers ranging from not wanting to bring men into their relationship, to worrying that being bisexual is synonymous with cheating.
Breaking down those two misconceptions should be relatively simple. Unless it’s agreed upon, your bisexual girlfriend is not going to assume you have an open relationship. That segues into the assumption that bisexuality activates some as-yet-unidentified part of the brain called the Cheating Zone, and compels a bisexual woman to sleep with anyone she meets — regardless of attraction, personality, or indeed, common sense — which is another level of insulting supposition that bi women can expect to deal with when navigating the murky waters of dating.
On the other hand, dating men can be equally problematic. Straight men are notorious for reacting to learning of a woman’s bisexuality with the phrase, “Oh, that’s hot.” Some of them then go on to ask, “So can I watch you and another woman have sex?” The answer to that is that a person’s sexuality is not a kink or an all-access pass to your personal fantasy. A guy saying that it’s great you’re bisexual, because he’s “always wanted to sleep with two women” makes him sound as if he thinks he’s in a video game and you’re an achievement to be unlocked, and reacting to such a creepy proposal with a “GTFO” is perfectly reasonable.
Then there’s the expectation that bisexuals are kinky by default. Not every bisexual person is looking for a BDSM relationship, the same way that not everyone likes pineapple on their pizza. It seems obvious when one thinks about it, but nearly every other bisexual woman I’ve talked to has at least one story about somebody wanting to add a little kink into their sex lives and assuming dating a bisexual is the best way to do it. This may be shocking to some people, but not all bisexuals want to have a threesome, and for a couple to make that suggestion to another person based only on the fact that they’re bisexual is not the way to a second date.
All of these assumptions are emblematic of the fact that bisexual people are either dismissed as being unfaithful and promiscuous, or little more than a prop in someone else’s sex life. And, while this may seem relatively harmless, the reality is that bisexual women have been shown to suffer from more mental health issues than lesbians.
“Bisexual people are at particular risk of invisibility and marginalization from both gay and lesbian communities and mainstream society,” said Dr. Ford Hickson, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. In other words, being treated in this way by the very community that should be the most inclusive has a profound effect on bisexuals.
For many of them, it may be easier to simply omit the fact that they’re bisexual rather than tackle biphobia. And, in some cases, it’s a matter of personal safety. A report from the CDC found that bisexual women were twice as likely to be sexually abused as heterosexual women, which is not something one hears in discussion of bisexual women, nor how best to help these women stay safe.
Society and popular culture teaches people that everyone should find love and acceptance, but given how exhausting it can be to deal with the same old assumptions, it’s no wonder that many bisexuals may choose to keep their sexual orientation to themselves.
However, as with any stereotype, there is always room to grow and learn, so when someone chooses to share that part of themselves with you, try not to make snap judgements, and listen to them instead. You have nothing to lose but your prejudice, and it could be the beginning of something amazing.
This story was originally written by Kirsten Thompson for Femsplain.com .
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Remember when Katy Perry told the world that she kissed a girl and she liked it, and everyone went a little bonkers because it was so controversial? That was already 10 years ago, and the world has grown tremendously when it comes to accepting the LGBTQ community. For some reason though, people still get hung up on issues surrounding bisexuality. Some take a hard line on judging bisexuality, debating whether it is valid or whether it is simply a phase people go through. Even worse is the assumption that bisexuality is an excuse to be sex-crazed and promiscuous (which, BTW, is not something you need an excuse for if that is how you choose to live). There are many bisexuals who choose monogamy and long-term relationships, just like anyone else.
So for people who choose to date bisexuals, what are some things to keep in mind in order to not let the label get to your head?
It may seem obvious, since most people want to be recognized fully for who they are, but this is still a struggle for many people who identify as bisexual in relationships. Their partners might know what they identify as, but do they know what that means for them?
The commonly accepted definition of bisexuality is far outdated and, quite frankly, inadequate. It is not just the sexual attraction to both men and women. It is just as complicated as any sexual orientation and deserves to be understood by everyone. I recently came across a definition by a contributor on the Bisexual Resource Center’s Website that really helped me to understand how my partner might feel about her identity:
“Bisexuality is the potential to be attracted (romantically and/or sexually), to people of more than one sex, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
If you are dating a bisexual or find yourself interested in someone who identifies as such, I encourage you to discuss what it means to him or her. For my partner, it means that she is sexually attracted to men and women, but romantically attracted to women only. In addition, she is only romantically attracted to more masculine women, such as myself. We have had candid and thoughtful conversations about our sexual orientations and what it means to each of us, and it has led to a more genuine understanding of one another.
When someone who is bisexual is in a relationship, they don’t all of the sudden turn off their attraction to people of other sexes and/or genders. A straight person in a relationship does not all of the sudden turn off their attraction to people of the opposite sex, and neither do bisexuals.
The important thing is that couples have honest conversations about what is acceptable within their relationships when it comes to acting on these attractions. If you are in a monogamous relationship with a bisexual, trust them to be just as committed as you are. Short of a wandering eye (I mean, who doesn’t occasionally appreciate other people?!), bisexuals are just as capable as anyone else of being in a relationship with established boundaries.
My girlfriend is obviously in a relationship with a woman (me!), and in fact, she has never been in an adult relationship with a man. That does not mean that her identity as a bisexual was a phase or confusion on her part. If she only ever dates me, which is my ultimate evil plan, then she can still identify as bisexual. If she lives to be 120 years old and never so much as gives a man a side hug, she can still identify as bisexual. There is no threshold to meet for people to qualify for a sexual orientation. It is a personal preference and decision and should be accepted as that person’s truth.
This is really just some good old-fashioned relationship advice for anyone to follow. Who your partner dated before you is not a reflection of how they feel about you! It is a nasty trap to fall into — comparing yourself to your partner’s ex in any way. It can seem a little more complicated when your partner’s ex is a different gender or sex than you are. The reality is, though, it isn’t complicated because it isn’t relevant. Allow yourself to be chosen by your partner for who you are and don’t let those doubts come in and cloud what you two have together.
Bisexuals are just people, looking for authentic relationships just like anyone else in the world. Just like anyone else, they have varying degrees and types of attraction for different people. Just like anyone else, they are more than capable of committed relationships. No, they don’t have extraordinary sex drives. They don’t want to sleep with everyone they meet. Their identities are not made up in order to fill some questionable spot on the sexual orientation spectrum.
Speaking from experience dating bisexuals, I can say that while the world might still be behind in understanding and accepting their identities, I am deeply in love with an incredible human being. She is creative, fun, smart, compassionate, genuine, sexy, and funny… and she just happens to be attracted to both men and women. But, she has chosen me, and I will bask in that for as long as I can.

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