Bisexual Myths

Bisexual Myths

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Myths about those within the bisexual community are often harmful , rooted in stereotypes, and terribly inaccurate. Bisexuality is often misunderstood, and because of that, those who identify as bisexual can face real-life consequences of others' ignorance.
As an individual who claims this identity, I'm a huge fan of this definition provided by Robyn Ochs and the Bisexual Resource Center: " Here's my current definition of bisexuality : I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge in myself the potential to be attracted, romantically and/or sexually, to people of more than one sex, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree."
Here's a list of some of the most popular myths about bisexuality you need to stop believing.
This is one of the most common myths about bisexuality. It's likely that this myth stems from the idea that bisexual individuals "can't make up their minds one way or the other," are attracted to anybody and everybody, or just the over-sexualization of this identity in general.
Writer Maria Burnham put it best in HuffPost, saying, " There is no legitimate study proving [that bi people are cheaters], nor would it be easy to [obtain] accurate results if one was to perform a study, but it appears that this myth is touted in cities all over."
Ultimately, cheaters of all identities cheat for various reasons. Period. Sexual identity has nothing to do with it.
One of the main complaints you'll hear from bisexual people is that when it comes to relationships, especially on dating apps , people expect them to want a threesome . But bisexual people don't exist to offer other people "unique" sexual experiences — they've just been oversexualized in pop culture and, as a result, are always viewed in a sexual light.
Some bisexual people are interested in threesomes, but not all of them are, just like not all straight people are interested in the same things. Even within a community, there is diversity.
If you're bisexual, you've probably had someone ask you what "percent straight," and what "percent gay" you are. There's this pervasive idea that bisexuals are half one thing, and half another, rather than 100% bisexual. But the latter is the truth. Sexuality exists on a spectrum , and one person who is bisexual may feel mostly attraction to men, while another bisexual person may primarily date women. Some bisexual people also feel attraction to people who aren't on the gender binary at all. All of them are equally bisexual.
Often people see bisexuality as a "path" to becoming "actually gay," but bisexuality is a legitimate identity. Many people identify as bisexual their entire lives. Even if some people do go from identifying as bisexual to identifying as gay, it's important to remember that sexuality is fluid , and that doesn't negate those who identify wholly as bisexual. It's not half an identity; it's complete as it is.
Despite bisexuality literally meaning interest in people who have the same gender identity or a different gender identity, from you, the assumption is often that if you're a bisexual person who is in a relationship with someone who is a different gender from you, you're actually just straight.
Identity isn't dependent upon who you're dating — it's who you are, and ultimately up to you to decide and share. No matter who you happen to be dating — or not dating — and any given time, your identity is valid.
Many people get confused about the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality. For the most part, there is a lot of overlap between what it means to be bisexual and what it means to be pansexual, with both identities essentially meaning you're open to dating people of the same, or different, genders than you.
Pansexuality tends to have more of an emphasis on being open to dating someone regardless of gender, while bisexual people tend to say they're interested in dating people from two or more genders. But different people define the terms differently, as well. A lot of it comes down to which term you identify with the most.
Sexuality is fluid, so it's ultimately up to each individual person to decide which label they feel represents them best.
One of the biggest myths about bisexuality is that it isn't real. Many of these other myths listed feed into this stereotype.
After all, if you think bisexuality is all about who a person is dating, what "percent" gay and straight they are, and that it's just a pit stop on the road to being "completely gay," it's not surprising that you'd also think bisexuality isn't real. But many people identify as bisexual, with just as many if not more members of the LGBTQ community identifying as bisexual than identify as gay, according to CNN. Regardless of statistics, though, bisexual people deserve to have their identities respected.

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If our most-used phrases suddenly started appearing all over our bodies, the phrase "sexuality is so friggin' weird" would 100 percent show up on my forehead.
As sexuality can be a confusing web of feelings and definitions to figure out, it's easy to get lost in the myths that have grown to surround certain identities — especially bisexuality .
Unfortunately, the actual MythBusters were too busy to take on the bisexuality beast, so you have the next best thing: me, a living, breathing bisexual.
Here are 10 myths surrounding bisexuality that need to be busted for good.
This is the most heinous myth of all, mostly because my fellow bisexuals and I are trying exceptionally hard to exist out here.
Contrary to the belief of an inordinate amount of actual people in the world, bisexuality is definitely a real, valid thing .
Someone's sexuality is not a made-up thing. It's not a phase. It's not a label people just slap on because some C-list celebrity no one's actually heard of said it was a cool thing to be.
Bisexuality is a type of sexual attraction — one that about 7 percent of people surveyed identified as in a 2016 study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).
Yes, there are a few very valid reasons someone who identifies as gay or lesbian may have first come out as bisexual.
First, sexuality is a complex discovery process. And because every person comes to figure out their sexuality differently (and because of our predominantly heteronormative culture), gay or lesbian individuals may have discovered their attraction to the same gender while still under the influence of compulsory heterosexuality .
Second, in the case where someone isn't sure how a sexuality may be perceived by those around them, some people may feel comfortable coming out as "also being interested in men/women" before feeling comfortable coming out as gay or lesbian.
AND THIS IS TOTALLY FINE. However, this is not the case for every bisexual person. If someone comes out to you as bisexual, you have no reason to believe that they are or will ever be a different sexuality, until they tell you otherwise.
Bisexuals aren't "half" anything when it comes to sexualities.
Bisexuals are 100 percent bisexual, and 100 percent over this bullsh*t line of thinking. And 100 percent of the time, we experience attraction to both men and women, MEANING, 100 percent of the time, we are indeed bisexual.
If we all said no one was straight until they made out behind a tree with someone of the opposite gender, then maybe we could actually nix the whole "assumed straight until proven otherwise" debacle.
But alas, straight is still the general assumed sexuality, and here we are.
You CAN feel attraction to a certain gender without ever having dated them before, believe it or not. If this weren't the case, kids in high school wouldn't be f*cking like rabbits the second they look at each other.
On the other end of the "has no clue what they're talking about" spectrum, we have the people who assume that just because a girl kissed another girl one time in 2006, that means that girl is automatically bisexual.
Sexuality, attraction, and even curiosity are all fluid. This means there's absolutely nothing wrong with experimentation, especially because sexuality can be a confusing web to figure out. However, a person actively trying to sort out their feelings toward others doesn't automatically assign that person a sexuality.
This myth definitely stems from the "half gay, half straight" myth. And in case we are in need a refresher: Someone's relationship status is not always an indicator of their sexuality.
That being said, a bisexual person is still bisexual if they're in a relationship with the opposite gender because — get this, you're gonna love it — BISEXUALS ARE ATTRACTED TO TWO GENDERS.
And like I've said a thousand times up until this point, this means bisexuals!!! are!!! still!!! bisexual!!! no matter!!! whom!!! they date!!!
Someone who's bisexual is no more likely to cheat on their partner than any person you see walking down the street.
A person's attraction to two genders has no affect on their ability to conduct themselves in a relationship. Just like any person loves and cares for one person in a monogamous relationship, so does a bisexual person in a monogamous relationship, regardless of their current partner's gender.
Cheating has nothing to do with a person's sexuality. Rather, cheating has everything to do with someone's character. So perhaps we should all spend less time worrying about someone's sexuality and more time wondering whether or not someone's a shitty person.
There's no flowery way to explain this myth away. But let it be known, bisexuals are not necessarily always interested in threesomes.
Someone's particular interest in a threesome is, of course, up to them and only them. However, wanting to get freaky with two people at the same time is not a damn prerequisite for being bisexual.
For example, just because you're attracted to more than one guy in the world, doesn't necessarily mean you want to f*ck them at the same time (but maybe you do, IDK, MAN).
Similarly, just because you're attracted to two genders, doesn't mean you want to do everything with both genders at the same time.
Bisexuality merely involves sexual attraction to two genders. It does NOT dictate which gender you typically date or which gender you prioritize.
Luckily for me, this means if I want to prioritize dating girls, I don't suddenly get kicked out of the bisexuality club. (Thank God, that club is my LIFE, you guys.)
And why is this? Because I STILL feel attraction toward guys, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT ACTIVELY DATING THEM.
It's amazing how we can make personal choices about our dating lives while still identifying as the same thing, isn't it?
Because sexuality is a pretty vast spectrum, and because people are constantly learning ways in which they can comfortably identify themselves, it's normal to get a little confused.
But it's time to set this particular record straight: Bisexuality and pansexuality are two different things.
While bisexuality involves attraction to two different genders, pansexuality involves attraction to people regardless of their gender. A pansexual person doesn't feel sexually attracted to someone because they're a man, a woman, non-binary, transgender, etc. Instead, they're sexually attracted to other aspects of a person, like their personality.
So if there's anything to be remembered about bisexuality, it's that this identity is real. It's valid. And it's definition is pretty self-explanatory.
And if we could all stay in our lanes, and accept that these common myths need to be eradicated, the world — and bisexuals — would be much, much happier.
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