Bisexual Fantasy

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Bisexual Fantasy
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Bisexual fantasies while in a relationship
This group is for discussion and support for those who fall in between, for the "shades of gay" in what is often assumed to be one or the other:

* bisexuals
* pansexuals
* omnisexuals
* queers
* non-straight individuals

... or anyone who doesn't quite fit the otherwise binary "straight" and "gay" pattern. If you can't work out if you're straight, gay, or anywhere in between... you should probably visit us.
I'm a guy who's been with my boyfriend for some years now, and I've always been sure of my interests towards men AND women. I love my bf, but I've also never ever been with a woman. He is gay, but fully supports me and even wants me to have that experience.
So my question is: how do a bisexual guy in an open-ish relationship, with no experience with women go about meeting new people? I have a very small social network, and I/we rarely go out, maybe that's the key issue. Other than that I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's like I'm invisible online.
Are there perhaps other people who recognize themselves in my situation and can give some advice? How do you manage your interest towards the sex that's opposite of your partner's? Hookups? Toys?
Generally speaking, it's pretty normal to feel invisible as a man trying to meet women online. Add to that the fact that sadly, a lot of women are homophobic or biphobic and won't have any interest in you on those grounds. That's not to say you should give up! Just expect the search to take a lot longer than you anticipated.
Thank you, much appreciated! Yeah I guess that's true, and I also think that many will see me as a "gay guy who just wants to try it with a girl to try and see if he likes straight sex", while that's obviously not the case. The "being in a relationship with another guy" thing surely hinders my progress a bit as well, since it means what I'm looking for has to be completely casual. I won't give up, but hope is sadly fading at the moment. It really is a lot simpler to find guys.
Meanwhile Im a bi woman looking for any bi man on the planet and there seems to be none in my vicinity. Your situation is so intriguing wish I could be the woman that you experience it with 🥴. However, don't be dissuaded just because of the seemingly peculiarity of your situation there are plenty of women who are looking for exactly what you described. Try out the app called "Feeld"
Aw thank you, this gives me so much hope! If only we lived close enough, right? 😅 Thanks for the suggestion, will check it out. I hope you find what you're looking for soon!
Just came out to myself recently and I'm in a long term committed relationship with my fiance. My newfound interest in the crotch area of the opposite sex is going to have to live in the realms of my (very) vivid imagination (and maybe the occasional porn vid), and if that's as far as it ever goes I'm ok with that. I'm a believer in monogamy within a relationship, and my gal means everything to me. It's just too much risk to me to lose the greatest thing in my life for the sake of an experience.
As long as you're both happy, that's all that matters. For me, my boyfriend and I are both totally fine with the idea if it includes something that we physically can't give to eachother, but it's important to be careful, and never do anything that isn't 100% fine with all parties. Having any type of open relationship obviously isn't for everyone, though, and that's fine!
You can try OKCupid, but it might be a bit of an older crowd, as it existed even before apps were a thing lol
I've met a few ethically non monogamous FWB on there, as well as my husband and a couple of exes. It's really queer-friendly and you can list yourself as non-monogamous and search for others who are also non-monogamous. You can also try personals ads on Fetlife but there are some very... Intense people on there lol 😅
Bi guys are my fave for play partners. And bi, ethically non-monogamous guys who already have a primary partner? Perfection! 👌I just want a FWB, and I'm afraid of someone unattached catching feelings.
It will be difficult to find someone. But the best advice I can give is don't just say "hey" as your opening line. And don't send unsolicited dick pics. Follow those two rules and you're already better than 80% of the dudes out there. Also be honest and genuine and not sleazy. Like, don't launch into describing in explicit detail what you're going to do to her 😬


Medically Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD on November 07, 2014
Nov. 7, 2014 -- Very few sexual fantasies are uncommon, with both men and women expressing a wide range of fantasies.
Results of a large survey done by investigators at the Université du Québec à Trois-Rivières and the Philippe-Pinel Institute of Montreal, Canada, indicate that both men and women fantasize about domination and submission, and that both themes are commonly reported by the same individual. But there were differences between the sexes, with women less likely to want to act on their fantasies.
"It is clear that one should be careful before labeling a sexual fantasy, as the majority of the 55 on the questionnaire were not found to be either rare or unusual," the researchers, led by Christian C. Joyal, PhD, write.
The study was published online in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
The researchers recruited participants via advertisements in public places, interviews with the researchers on a local radio show and in local daily newspapers and magazines, presentations to groups of elderly people, word of mouth, a Facebook page, and university mailing lists.
Of the 1,516 participants, 799 (52.7%) were women, which is close to the female-to-male ratio of Quebec's general adult population. The majority of participants (85.1%) described themselves as heterosexual, 3.6% described themselves as homosexual, and the remainder as bisexual.
The research team gave them a modified version of a sex-fantasy questionnaire, bringing it into line with current cultural and social trends. The resulting 55-item questionnaire asked participants to rate fantasies in terms of intensity of interest from 1 (not at all) to 7 (very strong). A final, open question allowed additional fantasies to be gathered.
There were two rare fantasies: sex with a child younger than 12 years, and sex with an animal.
Unusual fantasies for women were of peeing on a partner, being urinated on, cross-dressing, being forced to have sex, abusing an intoxicated person, having sex with a prostitute, and having sex with a small-breasted woman.
For men, unusual fantasies were of peeing on a partner, being urinated on, having sex with two other men, and having sex with more than three men.
Interestingly, only five sexual fantasies were typical:
Of the remaining fantasies, 23 were common in men, and 11 were common in women.
Significant proportions of women (28.9% to 64.6%) reported fantasies about being sexually dominated, and similar proportions were observed in men.
Overall, men had higher sexual fantasy scores than women, and there were significant differences between the two groups, including fantasies of having romantic emotions during sex, of receiving oral sex, of having sex outside a relationship, and of having anal sex.
About one-third of women fantasized about homosexual activities, despite the fact that only 19% considered themselves bisexual or homosexual. For men, approximately one-quarter had homosexual fantasies, although 89.5% considered themselves heterosexual.
Finally, women were less likely than men to want to live out their fantasy, with about half of women who had submissive fantasies saying that they would not want those to be realized.
"Many fantasies that one might suspect would be unusual are, in fact, endorsed by a significant portion of individuals. Yet this doesn't mean that these are pathological at all, it just means that people have them," says Richard Krueger, MD, associate clinical professor of psychiatry , Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, in New York City.
"The only way that it becomes pathological is if [it involves] distress, dysfunction, or action on a non-consenting person."
"It's clear that the Internet is allowing for the development and expression of patterns of atypical sexual behavior. People that otherwise might have fantasies about...who knows...having sex with clowns or other strange things can all of a sudden hook up and connect with groups which present this and which express it," he adds.
"I think that the Internet is really having a quite profound influence upon atypical patterns of sexual interest, particularly of atypical sexual interest ... but it's entirely unknown if these are pathological or not."
This study was sponsored in part by a team grant to the Groupe de Recherche sur les Agresseurs Sexuels (GRAS, Jean Proulx, director) from the Fonds de Recherche Québécois sur la Société et la Culture (FRQSC). Dr Joyal and Dr Kreuger report no relevant financial relationships.
Joyal, C. Journal of Sexual Medicine, published online Oct. 30, 2014. 
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