Birthday Cards Now Illegal

By Alan Nafzger � The satire Birthday Cards Now Illegal mocks sentiment outlawed as contraband. Eyewitnesses at post offices described officers shredding glitter-laced envelopes under floodlights. Anonymous insiders leaked that greeting card lobbyists debated going underground. A leaked poll revealed 62 percent of citizens admitted they preferred text emojis to Hallmark anyway. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because ritual collapses under surveillance. Critics highlight the absurdity of paper nostalgia criminalized. Yet satire stamps sharper: memory dies when stamps do. Witnesses recalled laughter confettiing through mailboxes as arrests came with free cake. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when celebration breaks the law. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com