Biow Job

Biow Job

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Blow job, fellatio, giving head, going down: whatever you call it, it doesn’t take a PhD in anatomy to understand why receiving oral sex if you have a penis might feel amazing. The warm and wet sensation of a mouth on the nerve-dense shaft and head of a penis, combined with the sounds and visual of the act, can be crazy pleasurable.

Receiving a blow job is good—but giving head can be gratifying, too. One reason why: while you’re performing oral sex, an erotic interplay of dominance and submission takes place.

“On the one hand, your partner has the power to thrust into your mouth and throat, but on the other, you have all the power, as your teeth are in close proximity to their most sensitive parts,” sexologist Jessica "Dr. Jess" O'Reilly , PhD, host of the Drive Him Wild With Pleasure video course, tells Health . And then there’s the thrill of watching your partner receive pleasure, she says.

Since giving and getting a blow job both have benefits, it pays to pick up some pointers for making blow jobs even more comfortable, exciting, and orgasmic. These are the top tips from Dr. Jess and board certified sexologist Lanae St. John , author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for ‘The Talk.'

You probably know this, but blow jobs don’t literally entail blowing on the penis, say, the way you’d cool off soup—unless your partner likes that. Instead, Dr. Jess tells Health that blow jobs typically incorporate some combination of licking, sucking, kissing, deep-throating, and hand action. “Every person has their own preferences, so it’s less about technique and more about asking what they like,” she says.

If you can come right out and ask your partner about their preferences, that's probably easiest. But sometimes giving a blow job is more of a fact-finding mission, and you have to try things out and gauge your partner's response. Dr. Jess recommends trying this: tuck your lips under your teeth, "clamp down for extra pressure, and then slide up and down the shaft."

Another tip: Flick your tongue against the tip of penis, or along the frenulum—the sensitive notch of skin on the underbelly of the head. Based on your partner's response, you'll be able to see if they enjoy light pressure here, and if it's okay to advance to putting the entire head in your mouth...or if they prefer that you focus more on the shaft.

“There’s a misconception that you have to be able to deep-throat to give an enjoyable blow job. But that’s not true,” says Dr. Jess. “If you’re nervous about gagging, not enjoying yourself, or uncomfortable, this will affect your lover’s enjoyment.” If you are going to try taking the head and shaft in your mouth but are worried about gagging, just go slow, and stop at any point you feel that gag reflex kicking in.

A blow job isn't all about the mouth. In fact, adding hand moves introduces a different level or pressure and sensation, magnifying the pleasure your partner is already feeling. It's also a good go-to if deep-throating isn't your thing. “Using your hands to stroke the shaft while using your tongue and lips on just the tip, will create a similar sensation,” she says. This is also a good tip for when your mouth or jaw gets tired...just switch to making a fist around the shaft and moving it up and down, or cup your partner's balls in your hand gently.

Speaking of testicles, it’s understandable if most of your attention is on the penis. But don’t forget about the other erogenous zones nearby, like the balls, perineum, and anus.

“The testicles are incredibly nerve-dense,” says Dr. Jess. Try creating a sucking sensation against the delicate skin with your mouth, or using your hand to massage the balls to wow your partner, she suggests.

You can also lick or caress the perineum, the area between the testicles and the anus. (Not everyone likes action here, so ask first or go very slowly.) Applying pressure here with your thumb or the flat edge of your tongue can stimulate the prostate, which is often called the male G-spot because of how intense stimulation here can feel. “Try using a vibrating toy against this spot,” suggests Dr. Jess.

You can also stimulate your partner's anus while you’re giving a blow job by using a finger or tongue, says Dr. Jess. Some people get squeamish about having their anus played with, so get explicit permission before incorporating rimming or anal fingering. But if your partner consents, trust, you’ll blow their mind.

There's more than one way to give a blow job besides on your knees or with your partner lying flat. Your partner can lie back with their legs up or with bent knees. Or have them lie on their stomach with their hips up and legs out slightly, as you crouch behind them and treat them to a from-behind blow job.

Dr. Jess recommends "the giraffe," which entails you lying on your back with your head hanging over the bed and your partner straddling you from a standing position. You can also try "facesitter," she says, which has you lying on your back and your partner kneeling over your lips.

For mutual pleasure try classic 69, or even sideways 69—so you’re both on your sides but facing opposite direction.

It’s a myth that spitters are quitters. “There is zero pressure to swallow if that’s not something you want to do,” says Dr. Jess. Maybe it's because you don’t like the taste of semen; maybe you find it hotter for your partner to orgasm somewhere else on your body. Any reason is a valid reason, she says.

If you don’t want to swallow, you have a few options. You can tell your partner where you want it (for example, “I want it all over my chest” or “I want to see you finish in your hand"), you can catch the semen in your mouth and then spit it into a towel, or you can ask your partner to wear a flavored condom.

If you do want to swallow, Dr. Jess has a few suggestions to enhance the experience. “Take the penis deep into your throat and when they come, gaze seductively into their eyes,” she advises. Or when your partner tells you they’re close, suck only on the head, so you can control how much you swallow at a time.

Mutual pleasure is always a win in the bedroom. While giving a blow job, ask your partner to turn you on, too: have them talk dirty to you or tell you what they're feeling, or suggest bringing a vibrator or vibrating ring into the mix, which you can press against your clitoris or put in your vagina so you're both moving closer to orgasm.

And above all, always follow the number one rule of blow jobs: only give one when you want to and your partner wants you to. “You are not obligated to give anyone a blow job or perform any act you don’t want to,” St. John tells Health . Any partner who makes you feel obligated to give one probably isn’t a keeper. “There are plenty of other acts and activities you can engage in to experience (mutual) sexual pleasure,” says St. John. True that!

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The mighty blow job —intimidating for sure, but probably one of the best sex acts to have in your pleasure arsenal. Though taking full control of your partner's penis or strap-on can feel empowering, you may have sometimes wondered if your blow job technique could use a little improvement. After all, how do you give a good blow job anyway? Sex ed definitely didn't cover this.
Well, it really comes down to personal preferences. But for many, just getting a blow job is a huge turn on. "[People] love blow jobs because the act feels like sex, but it's a very different experience—they get to relax and receive and just enjoy what's happening in front of them," says Vanessa Marin , a certified sex therapist in Los Angeles.
Plus, the visual element of watching their penis slip in and out of a mouth really gets a lot of people going, Marin adds. Not to mention, unlike a hand job or even penetrative sex , no one can replicate the sensation of a blow job on their own (obviously). Your mouth is wet and warm, like a vagina (or a lubed-up hand), but your lips and tongue are living, roving, irreplaceable works of art.
It’s definitely not everyone’s thing (reminder: your sexual preferences are only decided by you, and no one should ever make you feel bad about them!), but when you’re really clicking with a partner, a blow job can be a great way to amp up affection.
"Although it may not seem as intimate [as sex] because there isn't as much face-to-face contact, the willingness to do this adds a level of trust and intimacy that is underappreciated," explains Kimberly Resnick Anderson , LCSW, a certified sex therapist based in L.A.
So, back to technique, what else should you know about blow jobs aside from the...uh...basics? Well, here's exactly how to take your oral sex game to the next level, according to certified sex therapists.
By far the number one rule for giving good head is actually wanting to give good head.
"The biggest complaint I hear from clients about blow jobs has nothing to do with technique and everything to do with their partner's enthusiasm about it," Marin says. "Recipients will have a great time if they know their partner is enjoying it." (Awww!)
"There's a big difference between 'they do this for me because I like it' and someone that is actually being turned on by giving oral sex," adds Anderson. "If someone is earnest and motivated to please them, that's 90 percent of it."
That's not to say you should pretend you like doing something in the bedroom if you straight-up don't. (In that vein, never do something you're not comfortable with just because a sexual partner asks you to.) But if you're considering going down on someone—which, if you're reading this article, it seems like you are—the best thing you can bring to the BJ party is a good attitude.
A few ways to show your enthusiasm:
A blow job might count as oral sex , but that doesn't mean your mouth has to do all the work. "I like to think of the mouth as providing wetness and your hands as providing tightness," says Marin.
If your jaw starts to feel sore or tired a few minutes into the job, you're likely suctioning too hard with your mouth. So shift some of the work to your hands, counting on them for pressure.
Here's your basic stroke once you've warmed up a bit:
If their penis is larger than average, you can keep your mouth in one place and move your wet hand up and down separately.
Then from there, you can mix up your hand technique a bit. Try the Wrist Twist: With your mouth on the penis (this is still oral sex), rotate your firm wrist in clockwise circles as you move your hand up and down.
Bring your other hand into the game once you've gotten your bearings. "Focus beyond just the penis," says Anderson. "Some people like nipple stimulation, touching their leg...make it a full-sensory experience, beyond just the pelvic region." When in doubt? Cup and gently squeeze the balls.
During one of the first blow jobs I ever gave (to a guy I'd been dating for five months, so we were super comfortable with each other), my partner told me to spit on him. It freaked me out for a sec, but then realized he just liked it extra wet.
While everyone has their own, ahem, moisture preferences, I've found that most agree a good blow job requires a lot of saliva. You don't want to go overboard to the point that your hand is slipping all over the place, but try to do some **sexy** spitting (read: make it subtle) whenever the penis starts to feel a little dry.
On that note, it's not a bad idea to keep a glass of water nearby to prevent dry mouth—you may need it.
When giving a blow job, your tongue provides the warmth, texture, and wetness that they can't get elsewhere.
To maximize this sensation, both Anderson and Marin suggest keeping your tongue soft in your mouth when you're moving up and down (the majority of your job), then using the tip of your tongue to trace the head and frenulum—the underside where the penis head (if circumcised) meets the shaft.
Those two areas, especially the frenulum, are packed with nerve endings, so expect your partner to go crazy.
You can also use the flat side of your tongue to lick from the bottom of the shaft to the very tip and down again, or throw in a few tongue flicks.
At some point during my writing career in women's magazines, I picked up a tip from a sexpert (I wish I could remember who!) that has become my trusty signature move. (I almost hate sharing it, but in the name of better blow jobs for all...)
As you suck, try to keep your lips in a slightly fish-face position—pretend you're about to say "purple." The word naturally contorts your lips into the perfect head-giving pout: They're slightly curled and pillowy, which makes them feel wetter and creates ideal suction.
A huge factor of a blow job is the visual component, Marin and Anderson agree—presentation is everything, people! "If someone is on the bed and you're between their legs, try going to the side," says Anderson. "Think about changing the 'traditional' view." It also allows your partner to take in the full view of your awesome bod, so give 'em a wink and strike a pose.
You can also try placing yourself in different spots around the room—say, having your partner up against the wall and you on your knees in front of them. You can even place yourselves in front of a mirror so they can take in every angle. "Anything a partner can do to make it more visual" will be a win, says Anderson.
Deep throating—where you take the member so far into your mouth, it's in your throat—is definitely an advanced skill. Why? Two words: gag reflex.
Some people’s gag reflex is more easily activated than others, but if you're able to train it—I did by practicing on, no joke, frozen ice pops—you can surprise (and by that, I mean SHOCK) your partner with moments of deep throating.
Not only does deep throating feel amazing to them (your throat is obviously tighter than their mouth), but it’s a turn-on seeing their entire length somehow fit inside your mouth. (Back to that visual thing from the previous point.)
A word of caution: Ease into this, and only when you can breathe well through your nose. No penis is worth choking over.

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