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By CNN's Lianne Kolirin and Reuters

Updated
12:04 AM EST, Thu December 16, 2021

Billie Eilish: Porn 'destroyed my brain'

03:32

- Source:
CNN

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Grammy-winning singer Billie Eilish has spoken about an addiction to watching pornography, starting at age 11, and how it gave her nightmares and messed her up when she started dating.

Eilish , who turns 20 on Saturday, was speaking on “The Howard Stern Show” on Sirius XM radio on Monday.

“I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was, like, 11,” the “Bad Guy” singer said, saying it helped her feel as if she were cool and “one of the guys.”

“I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn,” she added, saying she suffered nightmares because some of the content she watched was so violent and abusive.

Eilish, who was homeschooled in Los Angeles and has seven Grammy Awards, is known for her often dark lyrics.

In the ballad “Male Fantasy” on her second album “Happier Than Ever,” she sings about being home alone and distracting herself with pornography as she recalls a broken relationship.

Eilish said she is now angry at herself for thinking it was acceptable to watch porn.

Billie Eilish's green hair party is over

“The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to,” she said.

Eilish, who started her career wearing baggy clothes to prevent people from commenting on her body, became the youngest person in history to win all four of the top Grammy Awards in the same year when she took home the statuettes for new artist, album, record and song of the year in 2020 at age 18.

The singer said her fame had made it hard to date. “It’s really hard to meet people when, you know, people are either terrified of you or think you’re out of their league,” Eilish told Stern.

The singer also revealed that she had a bad case of Covid-19 over the summer, which might have killed her had she not been vaccinated.

She told Stern that she tested positive in August and was sick for almost two months.

“I didn’t die and I wasn’t going to die but that doesn’t take away from how miserable I was. I mean it was terrible,” she said.

Things could have been much worse, however, if she had not been vaccinated. She said: “I want it to be clear that it’s because of the vaccine that I’m fine. I think if I weren’t vaccinated I would have like died because it was bad.”

© 2022 Cable News Network. A Warner Bros. Discovery Company. All Rights Reserved. CNN Sans ™ & © 2016 Cable News Network.

Eilish said watching porn as a child damaged her future sexual experiences
Singer Billie Eilish has described how she suffered nightmares after being exposed to "abusive" pornography from the age of 11.
Speaking on SiriusXM, the 19-year-old said she is now "devastated" to reflect on her exposure to the content.
Eilish said the experience led her to "not say no to things that were not good" when she began having sex.
"It was because I thought that's what I was supposed to be attracted to," the Grammy Award-winner said.
Eilish, who is about to turn 20, has spent much of her teenage life in the public eye. She forged a reputation for wearing a baggy style of dress and has regularly spoken about body image and being sexualised while growing up.
The topic of pornography came up in the interview as it is referenced in a song, Male Fantasy, on her album Happier Than Ever.
She told interviewer Howard Stern that she now thinks porn "is a disgrace" after watching content she described as "violent" and "abusive" while growing up.
Eilish particularly criticised the way pornography can depict women's bodies and sexual experiences.
"I didn't understand why that was a bad thing - I thought it was how you learned how to have sex," Eilish said about watching, adding her mother was "horrified" when she told her.
"I was an advocate and I thought I was one of the guys and would talk about it and think I was really cool for not having a problem with it and not seeing why it was bad."
The singer-songwriter said she believed viewing the content while so young had "destroyed" her brain and caused her to suffer nightmares.
Eilish said it is a "real problem" that porn could skewer wider understandings of what is normal during sex, including around consent.
The view is echoed by experts focusing on child welfare, including Unicef, who say exposure to pornography at a young age can be harmful. They say pornography that portrays abusive and misogynistic acts can lead to normalisation, as well as poor mental health and other negative outcomes in children.
Eilish also discussed a range of other issues in her interview, including dating in the public eye and contracting Covid-19 earlier this year despite being vaccinated.
"I didn't die, and I wasn't gonna die, but that does not take away from how miserable it was. It was terrible," she said, adding she was unwell for almost two months.
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