Big Japanese Dick

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Big Japanese Dick
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Ellen Scott Thursday 1 Feb 2018 3:52 pm
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Another day, another strange trend to do with people’s genitals.
This time around we’re not (thankfully) talking about putting something in vaginas that shouldn’t be there.
Instead people are putting their penises in places they probably shouldn’t be. Makes a nice change, at least.
Over in Japan men are getting wise to a seemingly handy way to evaluate the size of one’s penis: sticking said penis in the cardboard inner tube of a toilet roll.
This technique isn’t new – a quick Google search reveals that men have been wedging their dicks inside toilet roll tubes for quite some time. But it’s suddenly boomed in popularity thanks to a tweet from @urasahou, who shared diagrams of the method and a guide on how to do it.
男性器のサイズに関し、非常にわかりやすい資料を見つけたので共有させて頂きます。 自称巨根の方もこちらの基準を元に、今一度ご自身の息子さんを見直して頂くと「あいつ言うほどデカくもなかったわ」と言われにくくなるかもしれません。いかがでしたか？ pic.twitter.com/8Jae07DQYc
— 裏垢のお作法 (@urasahou) January 27, 2018
The idea of sticking your penis in a toilet roll tube is that it’s a way to judge the size of your penis without the use of a ruler or tape measure.
You put your penis in the tube, so says the guide, and can judge the size of your penis depending on how much emerges from the other end.
If the head of the penis does not protrude from the far end of the core, you have a small penis, explains the guide. If two centimetres or less of the penis protrudes, you have an average size penis. If more of the head of the penis protrudes, you have a ‘huge cock’ and if the entire head protrudes you have an ‘irregularly large’ peen.
In terms of girth, it’s all about the amount of wiggle room.
If there’s plenty of room inside the tube, that indicates a smaller girth. If it’s snug, that’s average. If you can’t physically insert your penis in the tube without tearing it, again, that’s a ‘giant cock’.
We assume that said test should be done with an erect penis, so that growers not showers will get a more accurate assessment, and it’s worth noting that this particular guide was written with a standard consumer-size Japanese toilet roll in mind, which are apparently longer than the toilet rolls we get in the UK. So it’s really not a universal assessment.
There are also large discrepancies in toilet roll dimensions between brands. If your household happens to buy slimline toilet paper from Sainsbury’s, for example, you’re going to get a shock.
But that’s not our main issue with this little trick.
These kind of tests are made to make you feel rubbish, making you fit into rigid categories that are either ‘too small’ or ‘too big’. The reality is that there’s no concrete guide to the ‘right’ size of a penis, and if you’re feeling insecure about your genitals, doing this kind of test won’t help.
You can measure your penis and compare it to averages if you feel like that will help you feel more confident.
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But if your concerns are to do with sexual performance, it’s likely a better plan to learn that size really doesn’t matter when it comes to giving another person pleasure. It’s not what you have, it’s how you use it, and all that, and anyone who would judge you because your penis doesn’t meet a strict measurement probably isn’t worth your time.
If you do have genuine concerns about your penis, you’ll feel a lot more reassured after a visit to a doctor than you will after the cardboard tube test.
Oh, and you could get a nasty paper cut. Be careful out there.

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Big Dick Pussy is a short, voyeuristic look at the street where the filmmaker lived at the time of the filming; the focus is on neighborhood pre-teens and teenagers playing football in the street.

Visually, the piece is largely obscured; the viewer is situated as a hidden observer and can see only bits and pieces of what's going on out in the street. The audio of the piece is clear, though – for three minutes, the film taps into the interaction between kids left to their own devices. It's unadulterated and uncensored, and the language is almost comically coarse.

On the surface it's a mere documentation of foul-mouthed kids fending for themselves, but underneath there's also a level upon which we see evidence of a social order that exists among them. A small number of older teens are clearly in charge and have their own way of “coaching” their younger peers (“Don't play back because then they're gonna pass short, ya dick!”). The younger kids emulate the older as best they can.

The hands-off approach – the kids at no point realize they're being watched – lends realism as they're not putting on airs for the camera or for adults (only for one another). The experience of being an unseen observer from within a building ends up a secondary focus, on top of the central subject.

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