Big Dick Lady
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Big Dick Lady
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Elon Musk's Birth Rate Obsession is Skeevey as Hell
Biden Manages to Say Abortion in Speech About Abortion
Elon Musk's Birth Rate Obsession is Skeevey as Hell
Biden Manages to Say Abortion in Speech About Abortion
We're not size queens or anything but the HBO comedy Hung —about a man (Thomas Jane) with a large penis—premieres in June, and it got us thinking about big penises, the ultimate status symbol for men*. After the jump, a list of famous ones.
1.) Rasputin** The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.
2.) Liam Neeson In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty , Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."
3.) Jay-Z Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."
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4.) John Holmes Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.
5.) Vincent Gallo Have you ever seen Brown Bunny ? (Link NSFW)
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.
7.) Wilt Chamberlain His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.
8.) Tommy Lee Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen . It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)
9.) Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."
10.) Alexis Arquette Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)
10.) President Johnson "He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘ Jumbo .'"
11.) Errol Flynn He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano . A classical pianist!
12.) James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.
13.) Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm . (Link NSFW)
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.
15.) Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."
16.) Tony Kanal The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.
17.) Tony Danza He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)
18.) Ray J Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)
19.) Dan Rather The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
20.) Simon Rex It's no wonder why he used to do porno.
*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt. **This list is not compiled by size order.
By hoK leahciM
Updated May 24, 2018
Most men are conscious of their penis size. But as they say, it’s how you perform in bed, right? Check this Reddit thread out for more.
By hoK leahciM
Updated May 24, 2018
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I’m into fisting, so even the largest penises are no problem.
Actually, neither are small penises, I just get the guy to fist me.
I lost my virginity to a man with a huge penis. But I didn’t know it at the time. Watching porn made me uncomfortable so I always just read erotica. So he was very proud of his huge cock, and I don’t think he could figure out why I wasn’t amazed by it. For my part, I couldn’t figure out why sex was so damn painful. I could barely open my jaw far enough to the get the thing in my mouth. We could only have sex in missionary position because everything else hurt so badly. I was not particularly impressed with intercourse (or giving oral, for that matter).
The rest of my relationships have been with men with normal size penises. I found out, holy shit, having sex with them is fucking easy. I don’t have to use a cup of lube to have intercourse or use an ice pack on my face after giving a blow job. I don’t get what the big deal is for big dicks. Give me a normal dick any day.
I posted a while back about dating a guy with a micropenis. For a while he avoided sex, which made me believe he wasn’t sexually attracted to me. Really, he was just embarrassed by how small it was.
The actual sex was terrible, but I think a large part of it centered on his lack of confidence. He kept apologizing, then going soft, then slipping out, and it was just stressful sex. I think we still could have had fun if he had not gone into it thinking it was going to be a failure.
I’ve never dealt with a micropenis, but I did deal with one that was not much longer or girthier than my pinky. My experience with the dude’s personality was much worse than with the dick – I think he was really self conscious about it, so when we were fooling around he would say things about how big his cock was and ask me to beg for his big dick… it was kind of awkward because I think we both knew it was smaller than average, but he needed to hear that it was big to feel good about himself. He was also really sweet and attentive outside of the bedroom, so it turned into this weird Dr. Jekyl/Mr Hyde situation.
The actual sex was disappointing, but again I think it was partly due to his insecurities.
I don’t know how all these women are talking about preferring big ones for blowjobs! I had been hooking up with a guy for a week or so before it went THAT far…I was willing and a bit eager to give him head, until he pulled the damn kraken out of his pants. only time I’ve ever stopped, looked someone dead in the eye, and asked, “what in the HELL do you expect me to do with that?!” his girth was so huge that I literally couldn’t fit him in my mouth. sex was painful and awkward. we didn’t see each other after that, and if my vagina ever becomes animate I assure you it (she?) will thank me for not continuing with him.
I’m from England. Muscular man’s man American guy comes to my university (except he’s really short) and takes a liking to me. He and a friend were over mine one night and the friend left. The American guy and I ended up on the bed kissing for a while with him on top. I started trying to reach for his cock but couldn’t find it. It was actually giving me a mini panic attack. I told him to get off and lay down so I could be on top (in my head I figured it would be easier then). Still couldn’t find it.
When I did find it it was 2 inches or less, erect. As I hold this little penis he shouts at me “SUCK IT” like he has the biggest dick in the world. I honestly didn’t want to make him feel bad about himself, so tried to continue like nothing was abnormal. I go down there and he lets out a large and disgusting fart and says “Mmm, do you like that?”
I screamed and told him to get out, to which he and I started arguing. He called me a few things. “Cocktease” being one that I distinctly remember. He then ran into my ensuite bathroom and locked the door so I couldn’t get in. In the mean time I called my friend who was also living in the flat. He was in there for a while then ran out. When my friend and I checked the bathroom there was semen everywhere.
Big penis? I like a longer dick, but not TOO wide, because that can be really painful (I’ve been told I have a smaller vagina any way). I literally have to be able to sink the Titanic in my pants before I can take a dick.
I’ve been with a guy that has a large or well above average penis and a guy who’s penis was below average. The big one was fun for blow jobs but sex hurt until I got wet enough or I guess, stretched enough. The small one was easier to take all of into my mouth and I didn’t notice anything off during sex. It went in easily and he knew a lot of stuff to do with it. I really think size doesn’t matter. It was all enjoyable.
I’ve had moderately small to moderately/very large: I generally prefer larger, but a lot of guys with big dicks think that all they need to be good at sex is a big dick. I’d rather take a guy with an average dick who cares about my pleasure anyday.
One of my exes was around 8.5-9″ and a big girth. I’m 5′. It was pretty uncomfortable since it took a while to actually fit it in (even with copious amounts of lube) and I was even bearing tears on a few occasions along with a bruised cervix. It wasn’t that pleasant, yet then again if we slowed it down or something then maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad. It was fun giving him head, though!
I’ve had both, honestly neither were that life altering in either a good or bad way.
For very large (mostly in width), we seemed to have the ideal situation of him being too large and me being too tight so while when it was good – it was very good, it didn’t last long without slipping out and after trying many different positions to see what works best, we ended up giving up the sex was just too much work.
For very small, it was actually better than the very large because what he lacked in size, he made up for in speed. He did a lot with what was given to him and didn’t seem embarrassed at all.
So for tips – if you’re very large, lots of foreplay, make sure she’s super wet and she spreads those legs. For very small, make sure you’re extra rough to make up for your size in speed. It goes a long way.
The worst thing about a short dick is the hair on the shaft and the fact that most guys are super insecure so they tend to prematurely come.
The worst thing about a big dick is that the guy often thinks that’s all he needs to bring to the relationship.
I dated a guy with a legitimate micro-peen. He was very upfront about it the first time we made it to the “making out” stage. I wasn’t quite to the point where I thought we might be long term, so I have to admit that I may have proceeded more out of curiosity than actual sexual feelings.
During that first bout (there were several, and you’ll understand why in a minute) he was obviously very weary of letting me get near “the area.” He would caress my hand and guide it away any time it got close to the zipper zone. He was so suave about it that it was easily ignored, though. It helped that he was a level 10 kisser and so in-tune with reading my cues.
As things progressed, I found myself fully undressed while he had everything intact (I’m telling you, he was a smooth motherfucker.) I don’t even remember how, but he guided me to the carpet and proceeded to perform acts of god on my lady region. I believe years of not being able to have conventional sex have given him oral superpowers. I had orgasms too numerous to count and I’m convinced I partially blacked out at one point (before this night, I would have seriously called bullshit on that actually being a thing, but goddamn if it isn’t real.) Long story short, I never did get to see the goods that first night. I remember feeling a little embarrassed the next morning for the amount of thanks and praise I gave him immediately following the last, exhausting orgasm (I’m talking a good 20 minutes worth of “OMFG, you are the most amazing man on Earth” type thing.)
We did attempt a penetration on one drunken night, but it just wouldn’t happen. The size was a serious issue, but the bigger problem (no pun intended) was that he just didn’t get conventionally hard.
It was maybe…less soft? But definitely not hard. So, it just didn’t happen.
Anyway, my experience with an extremely small penis was pretty positive because the guy took amazing steps to compensate. He’s a pretty good guy to boot, so I hope he someday finds a woman who appreciates the hell out of his skills.
I’m bi, but until I was seventeen or eighteen I thought that I was only interested in girls. When I was 19, I started dating a boy and we slept together five times before my hymen broke. I had just assumed it had busted at some point during all the finger banging, heh. Or that I was one of those women who didn’t have one. His dick was about three inches long and kind of skinny. But I didn’t know any better, I was used to fingers anyway.
Dated another guy much later with a dick thicker around than my wrist, probably 8 inches long. There was no such thing as quickies. He had to romance me if he wanted to put that thing inside me.
I had a partner who was basically a mushroom head connected to a pile of pubes when soft (I think he was 2 inches hard) as a result of a twisted testicle he was born with and had to get surgery for. He was also unable to orgasm from another person manipulating his penis or fucking, as much as he did enjoy that because of the surgery he had to have when he was a kid. He was skilled/determined orally, good with his fingers and though he had no problem making me orgasm, many sexual positions were a total no-go because of his size which was at times disappointing. Overall though he was fine in bed because he cared about pleasuring and found other ways to do that.
My first penis in vagina sexual experience was with what I consider a large penis (9 inches at least and fat) and I remember it being difficult to work with at times. By size alone it wasn’t a huge satisfier and he was so inexperienced there were no orgasms happening for me at all, so even though in theory sex should have been better, it wasn’t.
A big dick does not mean a great partner. So much of sex is about touch, anticipation, generosity, comfort levels, tenderness and filth… things that have nothing to do with penis size and everything to do with the energy between two people.
Also anyone who laughs at a guy for his dick is pretty shitty… It’s obviously something that a person has no control over and if you care that little about their feelings you should perhaps not fuck them. Just saying.
Having been across the penis spectrum, I just want to say that penises are awesome. All shapes and sizes are amazing. The best thing you can do with them, is to make sure they are attached to a great person. There is so much more to sex than size.
Small is great for anal. Also, if they are not too self-conscious about it, regular sex can be great. It has been my experience that men with smaller penises make up for it with knowing what to do with it, and knowing what to do with their hands and mouths too.
Big penises are just as great. If they guy doesn’t just rely on size, and is gentle in the beginning, the sex is awesome.
I personally prefer bigger penises. I really enjoy my vagina feeling “full” during sex and I even enjoy a little bit of pain once I’m turned on enough. I like the soreness I feel for a while after.
It reminds me of the sex and I just get turned on all over again.
Lost my virginity to a guy with a smaller than average penis in girth. It was about 5 inches long but really thin, not exactly sure how thin around, maybe 12 centimetres? (just used my dress measuring tape to estiamate) Anyway, he was really over-zealous for me. it was our first time, but he was nearly a porn addict so he wanted to try all this weird shit, like wiggling 3 fingers inside me like an octopuss, lifting my legs up, lifting me up in the air, it was awful. I was so self concious and it only got worse. I felt it, but it didn’t feel good, it felt like it was going in but produced no pleasure for me whatsoever. Then to make it even more awkward, he kept asking me if he was hurting me, like in a dirty talk sort of way, if it was ‘stretching you out’ etc etc. Just so fucking awkward. He was my boyfriend for a couple years and I wasn’t that into sex until I had someone else.
I then had a boyfriend with a very large penis, really fun to play with and it made me feel like a porn star when i was giving him head but it could be painful at times for both of us. Took us a long time to find condoms that would fit him properly, and he could never enter me completely. We had a healthy sex life but it always took a couple days of recovery for me, which sucked. Luckily I married someone who is the right size for me. You find the dick size that’s just right, you lock it down, like a horny goldilocks.
My very large penis stories aren’t that interesting. It’s the usual song and dance of “it was uncomfortable, had to start slow, too much bottoming out.”
So I guess I’ll tell my small penis story.
I REALLY liked the guy. We’d been on a few very successful dates and I had butterflies when I thought about him. He had unusually colored eyes and intense eyebrows, he was a foreigner. We’d gone into his bedroom and we both knew where this was leading. He took his pants off and there it was, the smallest penis I’ve ever seen in real life. I didn’t get to measure it or anything but if I’m being generous I would guess it was pretty close to 3 1/2 inches, fully erect. I definitely had a moment of pause, I wasn’t expecting this… But he didn’t hesitate or apologize or wince about it and that’s what spurred me on, his own confidence.
The sex was awkward. My previous two partners had both had about 8 inches and I had grown used to a different style of fucking. I was trying to bounce around and thrust as I had done with the oversized wangs of my past, but that wasn’t working with only a few inches to stay atop of.
But I learned. The sex got better. I discovered that the rocking, grinding motion I had to adapt to to stay penetrated by this smaller penis led to amazing friction on my clit. No, I couldn’t do aerobic pornstar sex moves anymore but this newfound closeness, sliding our bodies together, grasping and pressing close, was amazing. I had my first orgasms during intercourse with this man and his small penis.
And he never apologized or flinched. Neither of us ever referred to as a “small” penis, or otherwise.. And we both shared many, many orgasms pressed tightly together and I stayed with him for over four years. When it ended, it had nothing to do with his penis. Sadly, we fell out of love. But for awhile I thought that very small penis was going to be the last one I was ever with.
I ‘ve had adventures with both. One gentleman was extremely handsome and my friend’s brother so we were set up and told to try and make this work. But when we went to have sex and he was quite small and he cried during sex and told me shameful story about his friends pantsing him at a party and everyone laughing. I tried to be comforting and he finished crying then we did more shots and went through another round of hot sad guy/small junk sex. Never spoke again.
At far as large dicks go, there are two kinds. The large ugly awkward penises that look unappealing from every angle. It almost feels worse because it’s so ugly. The second option is like the unicorn of dicks. It’s beautiful and not all mangled looking and the owner understands its size and worth and uses it appropriately. They’re not trying to jam it in your butt or force it down your throat. Unicorn-penis is gentle and accommodating
I was going at it pretty hot and heavy with a guy I really liked. I didn’t want to rush this s
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