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Is bigger really better? The history of the big dick Pt. I
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You know what they say about men who wear big shoes…
At Ohnut, we are intimately aware of the realities of painful sex—and the myths too. When we look at how people on the internet typically talk about pain during penetration, it’s usually chalked up to three words: Dick Too Big. And while a lot of the time painful sex isn’t about big dicks… sometimes it is.
But here’s the thing: if it’s widely believed that big penises hurt their sexual partners—why are they also anecdotally cited as the most “satisfying” or “desirable” penis? Why then do 45% of cis men wish they had a bigger penis? [ 1] Why do we reference penis size in so much of our everyday lingo? Why are we so obsessed with big dicks?
We’ll discuss. At length. But first! We need to understand why people ended up with big penises in the first place.
In case you haven’t observed the junk of our primate relatives while at the zoo—fun fact: humans have bigger penises than most monkeys and apes. Like, a lot bigger.
But why is that? Well, some scientists have encouraged the theory that people with vaginas are more aroused by bigger penises, and so survival of the fittest, yadah yadah yadah, big dicks prevail. Buuuut when we think back to the study above that found 45% of cis men want bigger penises, 85% of cis women don’t feel that way—they’re satisfied with their partner’s size (from an enormous sample size of 52,031). [1] And in a 2002 study among cis women who had recently given birth, less than half said that penis length or girth was important. [ 2]
And when we look at Viva (a sexy magazine for women from the 1970s), their choice to begin running full-frontal nudes of men in 1975 actually resulted in a dramatic decline of readership by women . With the addition of explicit penis imagery, Viva took an unexpected audience shift away from females, toward gay men. [3]
Given this evidence, we can surmise that women these days generally don’t report caring that much about penis size when it comes to their partners, and don’t really like looking at penises head-on anyway (not to mention, people have been covering their junk with clothes for over half of human history) [4]—so why would female sexual choice be the main driver of the evolution of big dicks?
But, hey. For the sake of fairness, let’s look at some evidence to the contrary. In a recent study among 105 heterosexual women in Australia, researchers found that greater penis size had a positive effect on attractiveness (although general body shape was the most important indicator of attractiveness). [ 5] In two other studies containing participants from New Zealand, California, and Cameroon, women generally found intermediate-sized flaccid penises more attractive. [ 6,7] A similar study in China found that small increases in penis length resulted in significant increases in attractiveness ratings. [ 8]
To summarize: These studies found that heterosexual cis women thought people with slightly larger penises were more attractive. This seems like pretty good evidence in favor of female choice as a big dick evolutionary mechanism. But I can’t help but wonder, what came first (no pun intended)? The preference for big dicks or a culture that prizes them?
My guess? The culture. Let me explain.
As an example of this chicken or the egg question, those same studies performed in New Zealand, California and China also found that cis men preferred lighter-skinned women. Meanwhile, in a rural community in Bakossiland, Cameroon, that attractiveness study found there was no consistent preference for dark- or light-skinned women. Does that mean men were evolutionarily designed to prefer lighter-skinned women? No. That’s called colonialism. I have a theory: people have been culturally conditioned in places like New Zealand, California, and China to prefer lighter skin and more eurocentric beauty standards (racism and colorism, yikes). Meanwhile, in Bakossiland, that cultural conditioning may be less evident because, despite a long history of European colonization, Cameroon remains predominantly Black—resulting in no apparent preference in skin color.
The same may be true for penis size. These studies are asking straight cis women about penis size in the 20th and 21st centuries, in which we are broadly steeped in a culture that praises bigger penises. So when we conduct studies assessing penis size preferences, are we gathering evidence for a deeper evolutionary truth or are we, rather, measuring the power of cultural beliefs?
Okay okay, so if humans don’t have big penises just because of “precopulatory sexual selection,” then why? Great question! Thanks for asking.
Some evolutionary scientists believe it’s to allow for sexual creativity—longer penises might be better for having sex as a (sometimes acrobatic) leisure activity. Others, meanwhile, believe that (along with the arrow-shaped head) a larger penis helped to scoop competitors’ semen out of the vaginal canal, increasing their chances of carrying on the family name. Fair point, cats and some species of beetle have spiny penises to help with just this. [ 9,10]
And some scientists believe it’s because of bipedalism—that standing up straight made penises more visible, and therefore it serves as a kind of display like a bird’s feathers or a buck’s antlers. Not completely purposeless, but became fancier/larger to perhaps intimidate other males. [ 11]
So, if penis size isn’t necessarily about sexual attractiveness and the ability to carry on your bloodline—why all the hullabaloo? Is this new?
No, it is not new. Join us for The History of the Big Dick Pt. II .
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We asked our followers , when they bump fuzzies, are they fussy about their man’s third leg? That is – does penis size really matter?
Much like shoes, we know penises come in different sizes, but does penis size matter ? So, does the saying, “if the shoe fits” come into play when you get some stank on the hang down?
Okay so, yay or nay? Let’s hear it from the ladies!
“Having been on both ends of the spectrum from small penis size to VERY LARGE I can say I prefer bigger. That being said my best and worst sex has been with guys who were huge. The problem with some guys who have big dicks is that they think having a big one is all they need. The one guy wasn’t interested in making sure I was ready first, had no rhythm at all and didn’t care if I was enjoying myself or not.
It was almost as if I wasn’t there and he was just pounding away drilling for oil. I was sore for days afterwards. The other guy was fantastic, he took his time. We had amazing chemistry and he actually cared how I felt and how comfortable I was adjusting to his size. We took things slow, he was a very gentle lover and I enjoyed every minute a lot. He is still the only man I have had multiple orgasms with. The only other drawback from really big guys is that oral sex becomes painful and not as enjoyable.”
“Dildos come on big, really big and huge for a reason. I have never seen a small dildo.”
“I would prefer an average penis size and one that looks pretty, some of the big ones are super ugly and bend the wrong way.”
“I never considered describing penises pretty in my entire life!”
“Yes, the micropenis is a total waste of time, both in width and in length. I bailed on one guy because his penis size was only about 2 inches long. And it just didn’t get in. He came, but it did nothing at all for me. I need one big enough to touch my G-spot. So, it requires some length, but I think technique is the rest of it.
My boyfriend from my teenage years had a penis size thicker than my arm, and 12 inches long. I know because we measured it erect with a sewing tape measure, and then how far up my belly that would be inside me, because neither of us could believe how I accommodated it without any trouble, but I did. If you are highly stimulated and moist, the vagina must be really stretchy.”
“I dated a guy with a micropenis and it was a contributing factor in the breakup. Foreplay was great but the actual intercourse was never going to be satisfying.”
“Penis size – Yes it does matter. Sad to say I have separated from my husband and his penis is just perfect and I dread dating again.”
“Yeah penis size and width is important to me. Though I’d rather a shorter thick penis than a long skinny one. I’m very happy with my husband’s penis. 🙂 ”
“There is such thing as too small in penis size, and too big. For me, girth matters more than length. Really, though the range of what’s acceptable is fairly inclusive. I’d say between 10 cm and 30 cm long and 10-20cm around is the appropriate range.”
“Yeah average penis size is nice. 6in and a banana like girth.”
“Lol I was more concerned about the 20cm around! I don’t want to give birth every time I have sex! lol!”
“Yep, my partner’s penis size is ‘too long’ and it is painful. My partner does the typical male thing (well typical for any male who doesn’t already have a monster penis) and talks about wanting to be bigger, and how I’d want him to be bigger. I keep telling him that he’s already bashing against my cervix at his current size and he isn’t even small so I don’t know what he’s complaining about! If he were any bigger, we’d probably have less sex anyway because my vagina isn’t getting any longer and pain doesn’t get me off.”
“Well said. My partner loves a penis extender (yep on top of his and no erectile problems!) but ouuchhh! Might be a turn on for him but a turn off for me. Pain isn’t fun or enjoyable getting a 10″. I like his perfectly sized c**k fine. Why do they think they need bigger or enjoy watching a monstrous thing pounding into us.”
Anyhoo, it’s the technique that matters…
“I’ve had a few in my time (lol) so I think I’ve seen at least one from every point of the spectrum. Size matters to a degree. Too small is an issue (I’ve broken up with a guy because it was smaller than my pinky and I literally couldn’t feel anything during sex – I wasn’t willing to be celibate the rest of my life) and a guy I was seeing mutually agreed it wasn’t going to go anywhere because he was too big.
It was an issue he’d had numerous times before. He said “the boys” thought he was a legend but they didn’t realise how it was actually ruining his life. I literally needed two hands to fit around the width of it. It hurts when they’re too long too, even if they’re skinny – they’re probably my least favourite. Just average is best (with just a little extra thickness). Then it’s more to do with the technique.”
“My hubby is big, I prefer it much but I wouldn’t dump a guy for that reason. It’s more about your chemistry with somebody than just size.”
“LMFAO! I’ve never seen one that I’d consider ‘pretty’, dicks are just ugly but as long as they do the job I don’t care. If it was bent the wrong way and looked hideously deformed, I think I’d have to pass though.”
“I’m not fussy but needs to be big enough to do a good job. In my younger days, I’ve walked out on one night stands with a micro penis because what is even the point, also walked out on a guy who had a dong bigger than my arm and he said most girls bailed on him because of it. He’s a famous comedian now and I often see pictures of him and his wife in the media. She’s so petite I can’t help but wonder every single time how she takes it. My husband is quite average but it’s fine.”
“My husband is quite large down there, and TBH, I wish it was a bit smaller. I’ve had small ones before and there are benefits to them. Like, riding is easier with a smaller dick, as is giving head. I love my husband and I enjoy our sex most of the time. But sometimes, if I’m not really in the mood, it hurts.
Even with lube. There’s nothing comfortable about being hit in the cervix with each thrust. 9 times out of 10 though, he makes sure I’m ready wit
Jaylynn Sinns
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