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Why It's Not OK For White Women (Or Any Woman) To Ask About My Black Boyfriend's Penis
By Bellesa — Written on Dec 06, 2017
Think about the last time you had drinks with sort-of friends. Maybe they were people from work that you like. Maybe they were a group you were introduced to through a real friend, and you were interested in getting to know them better. Whatever the case, picture a group of women who you know and like, but you don’t know that well yet.
Everyone looks cute. You all order overpriced cocktails. The volume in the room starts to rise and everyone is laughing a lot. Things are going really well! You’re like, Sweet! New friends! And then, after you tell a hilarious story about your boyfriend, one of the women turns to you and says, “Tell me what his penis looks like.”
Wait, what? How are we suddenly talking about my boo’s penis ?
It seems kind of crazy, right? Like who would just ask someone about their partner’s penis in the middle of a normal, fun conversation? Surely no one does that — right?
Wrong. Any woman dating a black man has been asked a million times if his penis is “as big as they say” and any woman dating an Asian guy has been asked if “it’s true what they say about Asian men.” And the person doing the asking is usually — although, granted, not always — a white woman.
First of all, it’s none of your business what my boyfriend’s penis looks like. Its size has nothing to do with you or your life . (Unless you’re planning on sleeping with him, in which case there are other conversations we need to have.)
In what situation is it considered socially acceptable to ask people about the size of their partner's junk ?
Second, while the question about black men reflects what some people might consider a “good” stereotype — what guy doesn’t want to have a big penis? — and the one about Asian men is the opposite, they’re both stereotypes rooted in racism.
The myth that black men have bigger penises originally grew from the racist reasoning that propped up white supremacy and justified slavery in the 19th century. Black men’s oversized genitals were cited as evidence that they were “savage” and “animalistic;” outside the bounds of “normal” (read: white) sexuality and civilization. That same savage archetype — also called the “ mandingo ” — was summoned into the 20th century whenever white mobs wanted an excuse to lynch black men. Just claim they’re raping “our” women with their massive penises. Problem solved.
For Asian men, the stereotype is exactly opposite. The modern stereotypes about Asian men portray them as “less than” white men because they’re supposedly more effeminate. However, that’s a relatively new stereotype in the Asian/West interaction. The first immigrants from Asia to come to the United States en masse were Chinese men who originally came to mine gold during the Gold Rush and then were recruited (and conscripted) to build to the railroads. When they first arrived, they were seen as sex-crazed “others,” just as black men were. It wasn’t until they were pushed out of labor jobs , including agriculture, and into more “feminine” jobs like domestic service and laundry that the stereotype of the submissive, weak Asian man took root. And with it, of course, the stereotype about their penises.
When you ask someone who’s dating a black or Asian guy about the size of his penis , you’re following one of two virulent, racist traditions. Is that really a history you want to continue? I hope not.
So, please. Don’t ask me about my boyfriend’s penis. You’re not going to get any information about it — but I’ll definitely get a lot of information about you. And one piece of that information is the fact that we probably won’t be friends anymore.
This article was originally published at Bellesa . Reprinted with permission from the author.
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I suggest you keep it to fantasy. Apart from the real risks of f-ing up your marriage and devastating you husband, you are more than likely to be disappointed. There's really nothing that different about a black man. Skin colour is not a reflections of ability in bed. It's probably got more sexual charge as a fantasy than a reality.

I aree with Ken, though, if you have to cheat you might as well end your marriage so you won't be breaking your vows.

@George :
Present company excepted. You're a great guy, and a bit of a hero.

Give up on your marriage, get divorced and have at it.

If you want to be free to indulge every sex fantasy that enters your mind, if you want to be free to bang whomever you wish, the solution is simple. End your marriage first.

end your marriage and don't hurt him at least. Oh one more thing, they ain't all that like you think, its all a myth !!

We dont do everything that we think about. These people rob banks and do other acts that damage others. Grown people have self control. You, not your thoughts or urges should consider carefully before you act.

If you want to destroy your marriage.

go head but do not date any black guy. That may destroy your marriage.

hmm. Call me weird.. but I generally want to bang someone because I'm attracted to them, rather than because they are a certain race.

As a woman that until recently has been faithful to my husband, I had a similar fantasy which nagged me for over 12 months. A friend who had been seeing a black man and had said it is the best sex she ever had. He had told her he would love to go to bed with me so she made the suggestion and after lots of butterflies I did it, it was the best sex I have ever had. Comparing him with my husband 6" long, black man a little bigger not much but o so much thicker, my husband would last about 1/2 to about a minute, black man I lost sense of time. My husband, never gave me an orgasm it was always up to me after, black man I lost count. I would say try at least once otherwise you will always wonder, what your husband never needs to know wont hurt him.

only and I repeat only if your husband is okay with the situation. he may want to watch and be with you when it happens and if that is what it takes to make him happy then by all means you should give him that. On a different note, I dont advise couples engaging in this type of activity. It will not be healthy for your marriage in the long run.

@Justright :
Did you just assume (if this post is real) her man is a cuck?

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[FONT=Verdana]My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help.[/FONT]
LOL you have to be screwing around.
If you can't remove those thoughts from her head, leave her, she did nothing wrong.

10,973 posts, read 22,812,363 times

Oh well. You'd probably be just as hurt if she slept with any guy. The fact he was black just magnifies your feelings. Doesn't change a thing.
My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help.
Location: Sometimes Miami sometimes Australia
But she wasn't technically with you when she did it..surely that counts for something

13,290 posts, read 14,216,085 times

But she wasn't technically with you when she did it..surely that counts for something

26,089 posts, read 38,648,965 times

Location: Sometimes Miami sometimes Australia

12,210 posts, read 15,864,465 times

Sorry to hear of the difficulty, But ultimately I think it would have been difficult for you regardless of the other man's race. The fact is you were broken up, So she actually did nothing wrong. Some people move on quicker, deal with things different.

Unless you can see past this, And both understand why you split up the relationship has little chance.

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Girlfriend slept with black guy, I can't get over it. Please Help... (man, love)

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