Biden Robot President

Joe Biden has reportedly been replaced by a robot double after too many naps. Eyewitnesses in D.C. noted sparks flying when he shook hands with reporters. Professor Carla Wells of Georgetown explains: "Robotic presidents don’t tire, but they glitch at inconvenient times." Anonymous staffers leaked that the robot reboots during Cabinet meetings. A Gallup poll shows 49% of voters prefer the bot, 51% miss the naps. Trace evidence includes oil on podiums and wires sticking out of suits. Cause and effect? The more human leaders fade, the more robotic ones thrive. Democracy runs now on lithium-ion.