Bi-Curios

Bi-Curios
What Does It Mean to Be Bi-curious?

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Brittany is a health and lifestyle writer and former staffer at TODAY on NBC and CBS News. She's also contributed to dozens of magazines.
Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

If you've heard of someone using the term “bi-curious," it’s completely normal if you’ve found yourself wondering what that term means.

In short, if someone identifies as bi-curious, then they are open to engaging in romantic or sexual relationships with people of varying gender identities. For example, a cisgender woman might be open to dating another cisgender woman, a cisgender man, or someone who is nonbinary.

This article further discusses what the term bi-curious means, how it differs from bisexuality, and what it's like to date as a bi-curious person. It also covers the stigma bi-curious people face and offers ways to provide emotional support to those who identify as bi-curious.

Verywell Mind spoke with Alex S. Keuroghlian, MD, the director of the National LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center at The Fenway Institute .

My understanding is that the person is interested in exploring physical, emotional and/or romantic attachments with more than one gender.

He goes on to make an important distinction that “we can’t necessarily know what the person means when they say it.”

According to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center , considering oneself bi-curious could fall under the Q in the LGBTQIA+ acronym . That's because the "Q" can stand for queer or questioning.

Since someone identifying as bi-curious may be asking some questions of their own, Keuroghlian says the best way to deal with the uncertainty is to clarify the meaning with the person personally.

Some people are a little harsher on the term bi-curious; however, some believe that the "B" in LGBTQIA+ should include those who are bi-curious.

"Some people may take issue with the term bi-curious because they may view it as making light of a more core fundamental sexual orientation identity that bisexual people may have," explains Keuroghlian. "But people may also not take issue with the term bi-curious. It’s important not to make generalizations about what people mean when they use these terms."

There are still professionals who work in academic or medical settings who would consider the term as being distinctly separate from the term bisexual.

"Bi-curious is really just a slang term that some folks use to describe a lack of clarity in understanding their own attraction," says Aron Janssen , MD, Vice Chair, Pritzker Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health. "Folks will use that term to describe a sense of exploration of sexual identity, which is not the same as bisexual."

Keuroghlian explains that when people refer to themselves as bisexual, it “means that they have physical, emotional and/or romantic attachments to more than one gender.”

That said, the term bi-curious implies more of a sense of exploration. In other words, they're potentially saying that they’re exploring their own thoughts on the subject of sexuality.

“Bi-curious implies more of an exploratory aspect to a person’s experience than the term bisexual might, but there’s going to be a lot of individual variability in that,” says Keuroghlian.

Bi-curious people may find themselves on dates with more than one gender as they're exploring their own feelings. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) even made lots of news headlines when they released a survey in 2010 that revealed that more and more women in early adulthood were experimenting with bisexuality.

The survey found that about 11.5% of women between the ages of 18 and 44 have had at least one experience with another woman in their lifetime. This survey may have had less to say about men since gay and bisexual men are much more likely to face stigma and discrimination.

Unfortunately, as Keuroghlian notes, "anybody who doesn’t identify as straight and cisgender faces stigmas in society." That said, bisexuals are some of the most stigmatized people within the LGBTQIA+ community.

We know that bisexual people experience some of the most stigma within the LGBTQIA+ community, and can experience stigma from both the gay and lesbian communities and the straight communities. I think even expressing that you’re wondering if you’re attracted to more than one gender can lead to experiencing stigma.

If you're from a small town where there aren't many resources for therapists or other professionals you could speak to, reach out to supportive loved ones in your life. That said, here are some tips that will help you find the right therapist if you're in the market.

"I think it's always helpful to have somebody that you can talk to and share your experience with and to do what feels right to you at any given stage in your life," says Keuroghlian. "Your identity exploration—it’s not a race to move toward any particular identity."

If you're looking for a support group or more information, Verywell Mind has compiled an extensive list . There are also some steps that you can take if you're still trying to discern your sexual identity.

If you're wondering how to support someone in your life who is bi-curious, letting them know that you're available if and when they need to talk may be the best bet. Definitely make sure you're not asking pressing questions or rushing them to define things for the sake of your own comfort.

"I would thank the person for sharing that with you and ask how you can support them," says Keuroghlian. "And let them know that you’re always there to talk if that would be helpful."

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Walters, ML, Chen J, Breiding MJ. The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation . National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2013.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Positive Parenting Practices . Updated August 7, 2018.
Girl’s Best Friend Foundation and Advocates for Youth. Creating Safe Space for GLBTQ Youth: A Toolkit . 2005.
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Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD
Bicurious is the term used for someone who typically has sexual relations with one gender, but is curious about having sex with a different gender. Often, the term is used for people who identify as heterosexual and are curious about exploring a same-sex relationship or sexual experience.
“Heteroflexible” is another term that is similar to bicurious. However, heteroflexible specifically refers to people who identify as heterosexual and may be open to same-sex relationships. Bicurious can refer to that, but can also be used for people who identify as gay and are curious about heterosexual relationships.
Some people believe that the term bicurious is discriminatory because it implies that you have to have sexual experience before you can claim that you are bisexual. However, others believe that bicurious is a useful term for those who are exploring their sexual orientation .
Bisexual people are attracted to both men and women, and make up more than half of the LGBTQ community. But while people who identify as bisexual know that they are sexually attracted to both genders, those who identify as bicurious may still be navigating their sexuality.
Sometimes, people who identify as bicurious will eventually identify as bisexual. Other times, people who identify as bicurious will learn that they only enjoy sexual relations with one gender and will identify as gay or straight.
Realizing that you may be attracted to another gender can come at any phase in your life. Some people realize it in middle school or high school before they’ve ever had any sexual relationships; others may be married or in long-term relationships.
If you are in a relationship and find yourself interested in exploring bicuriousity, consider talking to your partner. Some partners are able to talk about their attraction openly and honestly. If you and your partner have been able to talk about attraction in the past, you may be able to open up about new feelings of bicuriosity as well. Your partner may be open to your exploring these feelings and sharing their comfort level with you. Whether you can talk with your partner or not, it may be helpful to find other sources of support, such as through meetups, therapy, or even empathetic friends.
It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge attraction without acting on it. If you’re attracted to and in love with your current partner, having occasional sexual attraction to another gender isn’t a reason to throw your current relationship out the window. The most important thing is to ensure that both you and your partner are happy and are having your emotional and physical needs met.
It can be hard to explain to your loved ones that your sexual orientation is not cut and dry. Although bisexuality accounts for more than half of the LGBTQ comminuty, people who identify as bisexual or bicurious still receive more stigma and discrimination than those who identify as straight or gay.
Keep in mind that it is your choice when or whether to tell your loved ones that you are bicurious. If you choose to tell your loved ones that you are bicurious, it’s important that you have a support network in place in case the conversation doesn’t go as planned.
Know that many families have little knowledge about supporting LGBTQ family members, and it may take time for them to understand your identity. Some ways to help your family members understand your identity include:
If necessary, you can make an appointment with a counselor or therapist to speak to your family together about your sexual orientation and what it means.
Bisexual Resource Center: “Coming Out as Bi+.”
Ditch The Label: “9 TIPS FOR COMING OUT AS LESBIAN, GAY OR BISEXUAL TO YOUR PARTENS.”
LGBT Map: “INVISIBLE MAJORITY: THE DISPARITIES FACING BISEXUAL PEOPLE AND HOW TO REMEDY THEM.”
Lighthouse: “A Therapist’s Guide to Navigating Your Partner’s Bisexuality.”
Men’s Health : “What It Means If You’re Attracted to Other People.”
Merriam-Webster Dictionary : “bi-curious.”
Refinery29: “What Does It Mean to Be Bi-Curious?”
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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Okay girls, let’s admit it, many of us have thought about what it would be like to at least kiss another girl, and some of us probably have at some point, but does that mean you are bi-curious? Not necessarily.
Nearly all of us can appreciate a girl with a nice body or fantastic boobs, but do your thoughts wander a bit further than how nice she looks?
Bi-curiosity is described as a phenomenon in which a person who identifies as heterosexual would consider taking part in sexual activity with a member of the same sex. It is not the same as being bisexual.
A person of a bi-curious nature will have very limited or no experience of sexual activity with a member of the same sex. On the other hand, a person who identifies as bisexual will have had relationships with members of the same sex and are aware that they find both men and women equally attractive.
9 ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious
Let’s take a look at these signs that might suggest you are bi-curious and not just simply appreciating that God has been kind in the looks department to a fellow female.
#1 I kissed a girl and I liked it. In the words of that wise singer, Katy Perry, kissing a girl and enjoying it could be a sign that you are bi-curious, especially if you didn’t want the kiss to stop and the kissing turned you on.
Kissing a woman can be an erotic experience as women’s lips are a lot softer than a man’s, so it’s not surprising you might have enjoyed the experience. But if the kiss stayed in your mind and you often think back to it, that could be an indicator that you would consider taking the kiss to a fumble and a fumble to the panties… and so forth.
#2 You wonder what it would be like to date/have sex with a woman. We all wonder about other people’s relationships and question what it might be like to be with a particular person, but if you find yourself wondering what it would be like to date a woman, it might be time to listen to that inner voice.
People are often fascinated by things they are not familiar with, such as homosexual sex acts or same sex relationships, and that’s acceptable. You might be curious from a totally rational viewpoint such as questioning what it could be like having two women together who both act possessed when they are menstruating at the same time. But if you are more interested in what two women get up to between the sheets, or want to know what it’s like to go out on a date with a woman, it could mean something a little bit more.
#3 You are crushing on a woman. Many of us get crushes on members of the same sex, believe it or not, and it can’t be taken as a sure sign you are bi-curious. However, if you think about this woman a lot and you love her figure/hair/boobs/total awesomeness, it might mean something.
Do you try to spend as much time as you can with her *providing she isn’t a famous star, of course!* and enjoy her company? Of course, most of us like spending time with people we like but if you also have thoughts about her in a sexual nature or you do try to get sneaky peeks of her semi-naked body, then there is a good chance this means you could be bi-curious.
#4 You enjoy woman-on-woman porn or erotica. If you and your partner enjoy watching porn together, or you if like watching it alone, you might get more enjoyment watching women making out than you do seeing a man and a woman having sex.
To be honest, this could simply be because most porn is targeted for the man’s enjoyment and not all women like seeing another woman being treated like a sex object. But, when you watch two women having sex, if your mind starts to wander and you imagine yourself in that scenario, it may be your subconscious trying to tell you something.
#5 You fantasise about having sex with a woman. Again, fantasies are completely normal either when you are having sex with your partner or masturbating. Many women admit to fantasizing about sex with another woman and many men get aroused by the thought of two women together, and this may help fuel your fantasy.
However, if your fantasies only involve other women and the desire to sleep with a female, it could be another sign that you are open to experimentation with a member of the same sex. This is especially true if you are having this fantasy when you are alone and not just while having sex with your partner.
#6 You like seeing other woman naked. Come on, admit it, we all like to suss out the competition and look at other women’s bodies, either in communal changing rooms or at pictures in magazines. Women can’t help themselves from being critical or slightly envious. It’s in our genetic make-up!
But if you
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