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Almara Abgarian Wednesday 7 Mar 2018 2:30 pm
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There’s a new fetish in town: cuckolding.
Like an updated version of a threesome – it includes three people, but with a twist. There’s a husband, a wife and the man who has sex with her in front of the husband. Some of the husbands even want to be tied up, ordered around and humiliated as they watch.
Lately, I’ve been hearing whispers of new, secret fantasies among the men I know. They want to watch their female partners sleep with another man.
Google Trends showed a spike in searches for cuckolding in January this year.
And, according to a recent study by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller and Dan Savage, popularity for cuckolding is increasing.
Curious to find out more, I embarked on a mission to hear from men with first-hand experience of the rules of cuckolding.
I interviewed dozens of men, joined two cuckolding forums including Cuckold Forum Net, which has live chat rooms, and the sex app Whiplr.
Whiplr was an eye-opener. The app allows you to specify what your ‘kinks’ are and there’s a special cuckolding group with over 3,000 members. People were eager to share, and some offered more than just their expertise. Hello, dick pics.
The ‘cuck’ is the husband or boyfriend and the ‘bull’ is the man in charge. Husbands who also consider themselves feminised are known as ‘sissy cuckolds’. If you want to learn more about the specifics, have a read of Metro’s beginner’s guide to cuckolding here .
Brace yourself, as these eight men reveal their personal stories and explain why they love cuckolding.
I love being in control of both a woman as a submissive and her man, especially when he is restrained.
It helps men who feel inadequate with their partner, but it’s not just about sexual ability. It can also be about their fear of losing their woman, penis size or a lack of business success.
Cuckolding varies dramatically. From sessions where the husband just watches to the extreme, where I humiliate them with various demands.
I’ve been into cuckolding for a while and do it with my girlfriend.
What I like most is the feeling of helplessness. I guess that’s the turn-on, watching my girlfriend being taken by another man in front of me.
I’m very dominant when we’re alone, but when another man joins us, I’m the cuck.
But I don’t interact with the man, it’s more about watching them. It’s made us more passionate as a couple, although we have rules while we do it.
Newbies who are starting out should take it slow and not dive in head-first. Things can go awfully wrong if the couple aren’t sure they would like it.
I enjoy being the man invited to please a wife in front of her hubby.
A few days ago, I visited a couple and was there for several hours.
The husband was ordered to make us coffee and cheese toasties, but I also gave him sexual orders.
This particular husband is bisexual and will watch, as well as give me oral sex. He especially likes the humiliation of seeing his wife enjoy sex with another man.
Sometimes, he’ll also be allowed to have sex with her.
It’s been a 10-year process and I never knew it would lead to this.
Shortly before my wife and I got married, I admitted to being bisexual and a cross-dresser. I have always been very feminine.
We visited an adult bookstore together, which had glory holes. She kept asking me to look into the hole, and duck.
Later I watched her have sex with a random man’s penis.
The main reason I like cuckolding is because it’s completely backwards and doesn’t make any sense. I like the rejection and the humiliation.
I’m normally dominant but I can also be submissive. I perform tasks, but nothing beyond oral sex on either him or her. I’m 99% straight, but in the heat of the moment I can give a guy a blow job.
Once you get the girl of your dreams, you’re bored. The best way to keep it spicy is by letting her turn you down.
And what better way for her to do that, than to have sex with another man right in front of you?
The biggest turn-on is knowing my partner is getting pleasure from the activity.
Seeing the pleasure consume her mind and body, whether it’s her having sex with another man or given oral sex by a woman.
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I would assume what turns people on about cuckolding is different for each person.
For me, it’s fun watching my partner experience something new, that she may have not tried before.
There’s been plenty of jealousy though, especially when my girlfriend and I started out with cuckolding. I’ve been the dominant one, but I would much rather watch her tackle something outside of her realm.
I love participating as much as being the voyeur.
There have been occasions where I’ve sexually engaged with the other man, too.
I’ll make the husband bring me beer, then I’ll proceed to drink it with his wife sitting on my lap. Sex-wise though, it’s about sating the wife’s need for a proper man.
The cuck is always banished from the room. If he is good, I get the wife to call him in.
The husbands seem to get off on being bested and are usually the ones to arrange the play session.




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Published May 22, 2012 12:00AM (EDT)


Related Topics ------------------------------------------
Bisexuality
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Since You Asked

Recently my husband of 18 years has explored his sexuality with other men. He admitted having four sexual encounters with random men he solicited from Craigslist. After a week of hell, and many a shouting match, he begged me to take him back, claiming that his experimentation is not worth losing his family. As in a textbook scenario, he, somehow, convinced himself that I, being very liberal and supportive of gay community, would understand, and maybe even approve, his urges. Having two teenage daughters and being a stay-at-home mom, I have initially agreed to let him back into the family fold, after all his STD tests came back clean.
I have immediately lined up a therapist, not being able to go through the crisis by myself. I have consulted the divorce lawyer as well, but decided that I simply cannot afford to leave him before I can secure some sort of support system, income, job, anything that would assure my landing on solid ground. Now, being middle-aged and with thin résumé, getting a job will be difficult in this economy, and I am more and more inclined to pursue separation, since staying in the marriage is not really emotionally healthy for me. I do give it a try every day, and every day is an effort, but, although he did give up his "encounters," he still maintains virtual presence in the gay community through porn and his private Flickr account(s). Although not a deal breaker, his Internet activity makes me conclude that he is not willing to make an effort toward the true reconciliation of our relationship, and that his real orientation is something he will not be able to deny for much longer. I do realize that his orientation is not a choice, but his behavior is.
My priority is our girls, who are, hopefully, oblivious to the extent of our marital crisis, but I am asking myself lately if it is time to let him go, and hope for the best for all four of us? I do not want to hurt the girls, but I do not want to carry on with this agony for much longer either. This past couple of months have been hardest in my life, just watching everything I ever believed in crumble apart. My self-esteem is still pretty high, but self-pity creeps in every now and then, hurting my ability to think straight. I want out; the question is do I wait until the girls are off to college (another couple of years), or do I seek an exit now.
You need concrete help. For that, you have wisely chosen a therapist and a lawyer.
What I can do is help you form a narrative or map.
Because you are human you will seek meaning in what happened. We seek meaning in misfortune whether we get cancer or have an accident or are bombed out of our houses by unseen jets. It helps. It helps to make a story out of what happens.
Your story will be something like this. You fell in love and got married and had two beautiful children and had always thought there might be unexplored territory between you and your husband. But you did not go there. You may have learned a way of relating that, though intimate, allowed for certain unexplored regions. You may have termed this privacy, or given it some meaning. But you sensed that your husband was not completely transparent to you, that he had secrets or evasions. Having no clear guidelines, you let these areas, and perhaps these doubts, go unexplored. You didn't press the issue. You made small incremental decisions that maintained the relationship and the family.
It may be that at the first you wondered if this was the way it was supposed to be. You may have talked to your friends about it, subtly suggesting that things were "good" but not "great," that you wondered sometimes ...
Maybe. Maybe not. I think it likely, if you are honest, that you had vague suspicions.
At any rate, now it has become clear that your husband has been hiding a great deal from you. So you are incensed, enraged, hurt, betrayed. You've had a terrible shock. Gone are the bedrock vows and beliefs on which your marriage rested. You are now in the sticky muck of uncertainty. It is hard to walk now; everything is harder.
For a while it's going to be one day at a time, slogging through, some days better than others. You will have to decide if you can continue living with him and for how long, and under what circumstances, and for those decisions, you have help through a lawyer and a therapist. One way or another you will arrive in a future that was not the future you imagined.
What do I see for you in the future? I see a wiser woman; I see a woman who finds new strength in herself to protect her daughters and make a new life. I see a woman who now knows you never really know, who learns that when disaster happens you're capable of more than you realized. And maybe there will be some new rules in this story -- rules about hunches and doubts, a rule that says if something doesn't feel right, it isn't.
We are educated to be sensible and quasi-scientific in our decisions. In the conscious realm we operate on what we can see and hear. But in the unconscious realm, the animal realm, the realm of hunches and doubts, we need to listen more carefully to unformed notions we don't fully understand and yet which persist, in their way, in their language of symbols and doubts and strange coincidence.
I wish to leave you with this: You are not alone. This has happened before. You have strength and support to call on. You can get through this and be stronger and wiser. You have help. You have people who love you and are on your side. You are going to be OK.
Copyright © 2022 Salon.com, LLC. Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. SALON ® is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon.com, LLC. Associated Press articles: Copyright © 2016 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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