Best Way To Lick A Pussy
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Best Way To Lick A Pussy
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So many women have encountered a guy that says he’s the best pussy eater but when it comes down to it, it’s a nightmare. Jackhammering our pussies with your tongue isn’t going to do the job. I know she’s probably moaning away, but trust me, it’s not hard to fake. You want to be able to actually know how to lick pussy well, not just claim that you can do it.
As a woman, I’m here to help you get back on the pussy licking road to enlightenment. You need to know how to do it and how to do it well.
It’s going to take practice and some hard work, but trust me, once you really know how to lick pussy and find the groove, you’ll become the pussy eating master. Isn’t that what you wanted? Why else would you be reading this? So, let’s get started.
#1 Do you enjoy doing it? There’s a huge difference between a guy who likes doing it and one who feels like he has to do it. Don’t be the latter. Guys who eat pussy well are guys who actually love pleasuring their partners. If you’re not ecstatic about eating pussy, well, you don’t have to do it. No one wants someone who’s going to do a half-ass job. [Read: 16 moves to drive her wild ]
#2 Listen to your partner. It’s the best way to see if you’re doing it right. You can tell when someone is inauthentic when it comes to them enjoying getting their pussy eaten out. If they’re wildly screaming, there’s a good chance they’re faking it.
If they’re silent, you’re probably not hitting the spot. But this is when you switch it up and try something new or ask them where to go. They’ll let you know what spot to hit. [Read: 10 sexy ways to please the clitoris ]
#3 Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. The problem with sex today is people put so much pressure on themselves to pleasure their partners. If you’re enjoying the sexual experience with your partner, the odds are, they are as well. If you’re stressed out about going down on your partner, take a deep breath. Eating pussy isn’t going to win you an Olympic medal. It’s sex, it’s supposed to be fun and light.
#4 You don’t only have to use your tongue. Yes, the tongue is a major player in licking pussy, obviously, but you can use your fingers as well. Don’t think that you’re limited to just your tongue.
Some women take longer to climax than others, so if you just use your tongue, you’re going to be exhausted. You can finger her at the same time you eat her out or if you want to take a break, finger her while making out with her. Switch it up, she may even prefer being fingered and licked at the same time, you just need to find the combination that works for her. [Read: 10 fingering techniques to make her orgasm ]
#5 Don’t forget about the anus. Anal play isn’t taboo anymore. In fact, more and more people are openly talking about anal play and how enjoyable it is. If you’re new to the world of anal play, relax. No, it’s not dirty, just make sure you and your partner are clean before sex—suggest a sensual shower together.
If you’re fingering or going down on her, lubricate your finger with either lube or spit and gently rub it around her anus. You’ll feel it relax when this happens, you can slowly insert a finger into her anus and hold it there. Then, slowly move it in and out—it feels amazing. [Read: She likes anal? 15 ways to impress a girl who likes backdoor fun ]
#6 Not every woman is the same. You may think that the way you eat pussy is the best way and it may be for one woman, but for another, it doesn’t do anything for her. You can’t have tunnel vision when it comes to licking pussy. You need to understand that every vagina is unique, so don’t be surprised if you switch up your method.
#7 Don’t jump right away to the clit. This is what guys always do, and it’s wrong. Don’t just start digging away at the clit. You need to warm it up and since the clit doesn’t lubricate itself, you should be focusing on making that pussy wet. Start with slow, broad licks and then build up the tension, making your way closer and closer to the clit.
#8 Build the tension. Women need time to get turned on. The vagina is like an oven. Yes, we may be turned on, but we need some time to warm up. So, when it comes to knowing how to lick pussy the right way, really take your time and don’t rush eating it. Enjoy the moment, enjoy making her squirm and moan while you’re down there, and build the tension up so that all she wants is for you to fuck her.
#9 Don’t forget the good ole labia. Don’t forget the labia, aka. the vaginal lips. Many guys just bypass them all together, but we love it when you pay attention to them as well. Do firm, slow, fat licks up and down the labia to help stimulate the vagina. Start from the bottom of her vagina and lick all the way up to the clit. But don’t do any pointy tongue licking yet. [Read: Massaging your partner to orgasm ]
#10 Make sure to suck. Now, you can lick, and licking is great, so do that. But, don’t forget to suck. Suck on her clit and lips—now don’t be a vacuum and try to rip them off of her, but suck on them. Switch it up from licking to sucking, find your own groove.
#11 Really get your face in there. Listen, if you really don’t like doing it, then don’t do it. Women want a guy who’s really going to get in there and eat their pussy like it’s lunch. When we see a man passionate about licking us, that’s what turns us on.
It’s the same thing when a woman is giving you a blowjob. The ones that really love sucking your dick, those are your best experiences.
#12 Let her sit on your face. Oh God, do we love this position. You can eat pussy while she’s on her back or when she’s on all fours, but the best way to get right in there is if she sits on your face. She’s in a squatting position, so her vagina is more open and ready to take on a licking. [Read: Why a girl says no to face sitting though she loves it ]
#13 Mix up the positions. If she’s into anal play, eat her out while she’s on all fours or when she’s laying on her stomach. You’ll be able to eat out her ass while fingering her or vice versa.
You can bend her over the sofa, eat her out while she’s standing, or lick her while she’s sitting in a chair. There’s really no bad position when it comes to licking pussy. [Read: The yummy checklist to eating booty like a boss ]
#14 Mix up the licking. This may sound confusing, but you’ll get what I mean in a second. You can do fat licks when your tongue is completely flat or you can do short licks with just the tip of your tongue.
Both are amazing, especially when you mix it up. Don’t just stick to one type of licking. You can do broad licks and then suddenly lick her clit quickly with the tip of your tongue.
Now that you know how to lick pussy, it’s time to practice. Make sure that your partner gives you their opinion on what you’re doing right and wrong. That way, you improve your pussy licking skills.
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By Gigi Engle and Ro White Published: Jul 18, 2022
Want More Tips for Pleasuring Your Partner? Our New Sex Book Is on Sale Now!
We asked real people for tips on oral sex.
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
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Try these moves in the bedroom tonight.
Eating out, cunnilingus, clit-licking: whatever you prefer to call it, oral sex on a vulva can be the perfect path to your partner’s big O. In fact, oral sex is widely known as the most reliable way to make a person with a vulva orgasm. A 2017 study published in the journal Sex and Marital Therapy found that only 18% of vulva-owners can orgasm from penetration alone. The rest require clitoral stimulation in order to climax, and oral sex puts the clitoris front and center. Plus, a 2019 study found that couples who give and receive oral sex maintain happier, more sexually active relationships long-term.
The issue? So many people don’t know what the heck they are doing down there. If you’re still doing the alphabet with your tongue and calling it a day, then it’s time to brush upon your oral sex skills.
Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve your oral sex technique, and communicating with your partner can make a big difference. From incorporating toys, to trying different positions, to using your tongue in unique ways, we have all the expert-approved information you need to up your game. These are the best oral sex tips for the next time you're going down on your partner.
While oral sex is pleasurable for lots of people, not everyone with a vulva wants a partner’s face between their legs. They might not like the sensation of oral sex, or the idea of receiving oral sex might make them anxious. So many cultural messages tell vulva owners that their genitals are “dirty” and that their vulvas have to look a certain way, and those messages can get in your partner’s head.
“Some people are self-conscious about the smell, taste, and appearance of their vulva, and some people are uncomfortable with all the attention being on them,” explains sex educator Erica Smith .
If your partner says oral sex is off the table, then it’s off the table. There are plenty of other ways you can enjoy each other’s bodies. If, however, your partner wants to try receiving oral sex but they’re nervous about having you get up close and personal with their genitals, offer some encouraging words. “Be vocal about appreciation for your partner's body—including their taste,” Smith says.
Instead of diving head-first into someone’s vulva like an Olympic swimmer, opt for a seductive warm up. Start with neck kisses. Then move down to their belly, inner thighs, and all around the vulva. Run your tongue around their nipples. If your partner is on the kinkier side, try some dirty talk , spanking , or role play —whatever gets them in the mood.
The anticipation can really help bring you both into your bodies and feel grounded in this experience you’re sharing together. No matter how casual your cunnilingus encounter may be, the sex you’re having together deserves reverence and respect.
There are lots of sex positions for giving and receiving oral sex, but some are better than others. “Have the receiver lie back on a bed or couch and scoot to the edge a bit—then the giver can be on their knees on the floor,” Smith suggests. Putting a pillow or a rolled up yoga mat under your knees might make this position a little more comfortable. You also throw your partner’s legs over your shoulders for easier access to their clitoris. Some vulva-owners prefer to stand up and lean against a wall while their partner kneels in front of them. And, of course, there’s “queening,” or face-sitting .
“It can also be comfortable and really enjoyable for the receiver to sit on the face of the giver—especially if they can lean forward to support themself with the headboard,” Smith says. This is a great position for the giver, too, since you get to lie back and enjoy your partner’s pleasure with minimal neck-strain.
No matter what position you choose, make sure it’s something you can sustain for a long period of time—a shoulder cramp could bring your cunnilingus to a screeching halt.
Don’t go straight for the clit! Instead, opt for widespread, gentle pressure at first. Kenneth Play , an internationally-recognized sexpert, suggests using “the flat of your tongue first, and move your head instead of your tongue. This creates a larger surface space, which feels better initially to most people.”
Before you start lapping at your partner’s clitoris like it’s a Tootsie Pop, make sure you’re on the right spot .
“The clitoris is actually a much larger structure than what we can find on the outside,” Smith says. The majority of the clitoris is underneath the skin . It’s shaped like a wishbone, and its “legs” run along the sides of the vulva. You might notice that your partner’s vulva swells during sex—that’s because the clitoris is full of erectile tissue that swells in response to arousal.
Most of the time, when we’re talking about “finding the clitoris,” we’re actually referring to the clitoral glans, a tiny, sensitive nub at the top of the vulva where the inner labia meet. If you can’t find your partner’s glans with your eyes, you might be able to find it with your tongue. If you’re still feeling lost, ask your partner to guide you.
Lighter is better when you start giving oral. This area is sensitive—the clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings !—so you don’t want to go too hard. You can even start off with indirect stimulation and lick around the clitoris in circles. Clitorises and vulvas usually require different degrees of firmness when it comes to touching and licking, so pay attention to your partner’s verbal and physical cues.
“Go in too hard and fast, and you may feel her flinch or yelp, so go easy! When you start lighter, you can build up the pressure as her arousal builds, but if in doubt, always go lighter first,” says Lucy Rowett, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist.
If your partner likes more targeted, pinpointed pleasure, Play suggests using the tip of the tongue in your oral game. “The tip of the tongue can apply more targeted pressure and movement, especially once a vulva-owner gets more aroused,” he says. “Remember to pay attention to the tactile sensations of your tongue to make sure you’re actually licking the clit and not just all over the place. This is a more common problem than you’d realize.”
One of the main things that stops vulva-owners from having orgasms during oral sex is the fear that they’re “taking too long” or being “selfish.” This means they’re going to need a lot of encouragement from you.
“Let [them] know that you'll be there for as long as it takes, that this is just about [their] pleasure, and there is no pressure to come,” Rowett says.
Showing interest in what brings your partner pleasure is a huge turn-on. Every person's body is different, and people enjoy being stimulated in a variety of ways. Ask your partner what they want you to do to them. If they’re not sure, try touching them in different ways and encourage them to tell you what feels good.
It definitely makes for some sparkling dirty talk . The thing is, you’re not a mind-reader. Ask and then do exactly what they say. Following instructions shows you’re actively listening. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some examples of how to solicit oral sex feedback:
♥ "Do you want me to go harder or softer?”
♥ “Do you like when I do X with my tongue?”
♥ “Would it be OK to put my fingers inside you?”
While you lick your partner’s clitoris, use the palm of your hand to provide pressure on the rest of the vulva (this stimulates the full body of the clitoris) or gently press just above their pubic mound to give them a little G-spot pressure from outside of the body.
If your partner enjoys vaginal stimulation, penetrate their vagina with one or two fingers. Your partner might enjoy thrusting, a “come hither” motion, or consistent pressure against the front of their vaginal wall. You can insert a finger in the backdoor, too—that is, if your partner’s game. Just make to use lube for any internal anal play .
Mouths and fingers are amazing, but they don’t need to be the only tools in your kit. Incorporating vibrators and other sex toys can up the ante on the whole experience. Try running your tongue around the clitoris while you insert a dildo or G-spot vibrator into your partner’s vagina. You can also have your partner wear a butt plug for some added backdoor stimulation. If they’re not into anal penetration but they’re open to other types of booty play, use a vibrator to stimulate the anal opening and perineum while you use your tongue on the clitoris.
If you’ve never used a vibrator on your partner before, ask them to show you how they like to use it first.
Have you heard of the Womanizer or Satisfyer? These clitoral suction toys use a combination of suction and air to circle the clitoris and simulate oral sex. They are wildly popular—which is why it might be a good idea to mimic the sensation with your own mouth.
And if you want to bring in a sucking sex toy while you use your hands or tongue for a little penetration, go for it!
If your partner is pushing their vulva into your face and moaning, you can be pretty sure what you’re doing is working. If they’re pulling away or if they’re silent, try something else. And once again, if you’re not sure if your technique is what your partner’s body needs—ask questions.
“Hopefully, [your partner] will respond by moaning, giving enthusiastic feedback, etc.—but some people are shy and feel shame about making noises,” Smith says. “If you're in doubt, ask!”
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