Best Solo Masturbation

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Best Solo Masturbation
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Ryn Pfeuffer
Ryn Pfeuffer is a queer sex and relationships writer, and over the past two decades, her work has appeared in more than 100 media outlets including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, Shape, The Globe and Mail, The Washington Post, and WIRED.


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"In the dreamiest of voices, he instructed me to move my fingertips around my body, telling me exactly how and where to put them."
One of the easiest ways to connect with yourself is through masturbation. Not only is it healthy and normal to touch yourself, it can also feel pretty damn good. The clitoris and the glans of the penis each contain some thousands of sensory nerve endings, making them the most touch-sensitive parts of the body.
Still, it's hard to know how your body responds to pleasure if you don't understand the skin you're in. And if you want to get in touch with self-pleasure, well, there’s an app for that. Several, actually. Known as "guided masturbation" apps, they blend the stress-relieving properties of meditation with sexual pleasure.
Guided masturbation is an audio-only experience where your solo fun is narrated by a voice artist who guides you through the movements of self-exploration, explains Angie Rowntree, founder and director of Sssh.com , a hub for sex-positive, ethical porn made from a woman's point of view. (Sssh is also home to a library of guided masturbation audio recordings.)
“Per the creativity of the content creator, a guided masturbation session can take on many fun fantasy scenarios or feature different sexual angles, too,” Rowntree says. “So guided masturbation is not only a great way to explore pleasurable new territories that maybe haven’t been on your radar before ... but is also a chance to indulge in sweet, uninhibited escape.”
Well, first, you get to have an orgasm , but there are many benefits to guided masturbation beyond getting off.
“Because guided masturbation tells you when and how to please yourself, you don’t need to ‘think’—you can just feel,” Rowntree says. Plus, you get to explore new self-pleasure activities you might not have tried otherwise. “We all have our own favorite ‘routines’ when it comes to self-pleasure, and guided masturbation is a fun new way to ‘spice things up’ and learn new techniques." (Currently, the top three guided masturbation topics trending with Sssh members are edging , nipple orgasms , and exhibitionism.)
The benefits of guided masturbation extend past solo play, too. “The act of verbalizing sexual desire—or merely hearing it verbalized—is powerful,” Rowntree says. “If you sometimes struggle to articulate what you like to a partner, listening to guided masturbation can definitely help you speak up and fill in the blanks…with a loud crescendo of delight.”
According to Rowntree, one of the things Sssh members enjoy about its audio guided masturbation library is the freedom to imagine the seductive stranger behind the voice. (Brad Pitt? Jason Momoa? The hot neighbor next door?) “Whereas an adult film literally gives you the full explicit picture, listening to guided masturbation engages your brain in creating your very own cinematic experience with the character of your choice that only you get to watch,” Rowntree says. “It’s total escapism; just put on your headset, lie back, close your eyes, and go on the journey.”
So, you’re curious about guided masturbation, but not sure where to start? “Give yourself time, privacy, and space to both relax and fully enjoy," Rowntree says. "Put on a comfy headset and let the program take you away to a blissful escape!”
When choosing a recording, make sure you find the narrator’s voice appealing. “Whether it’s a sexy accent or a deep timbre, you want to ensure that the audio and/or story puts you in the right mood,” Rowntree says.
You don’t have to stick with the same vocal artist, either. A recent study found a link between more exploration today and more happiness tomorrow. Rowntree encourages listeners to widen their world and enjoy a variety of voices: “Each voice artist takes you on a different journey depending on their style.”
After your session, debrief. “Think: what did you enjoy that you haven’t tried before?" Rowntree advises. "What would you like to experience more of? What was the most fun about this particular session and how can it fuel your future fantasies?”
I’m well-versed in watching porn. I used to review porn for AVN in the early aughts, after all. Also, I masturbate— a lot . And even though I make a living off stringing words together, I was skeptical of whether words alone could get me wet.
I went on to Sssh.com and settled on a guided masturbation called “Your Nipples.” (I’ve been super into nipple play lately, ISO the elusive nipplegasm.) I was sold that the 29-minute tease would focus solely on my nipples. From the opening line, delivered by reader John Eros—“You’re wearing your lingerie for me; I like that”—I immediately sunk into a submissive headspace. It was as if John were speaking directly to me. And I really liked it. In the dreamiest of voices, he instructed me to move my fingertips around my body, telling me exactly how and where to put them. He told me how I was being watched, how much he wanted to pounce on me and penetrate me—but I’d have to wait. It’s like he knew how much I like being watched IRL. I desperately wanted John to squeeze my nipples.
But it was when he first said, “Good girl,” that I lost it. I’m a switch in the bedroom , and sometimes, really like being told what to do. I’m also super into being praised by lovers. John had my pleasure dialed.
As John cooed, “Squeeze yourself for me. That’s it,” I fantasized about his mouth biting my nipples. “I simply want your nipples rock hard with need.” Oh, trust me, John, they were.
I fondled myself as he made believable sucking sounds. When the audio wrapped up at 29 minutes, I was so aroused that I took matters into my own hands and had the most incredible orgasm, based on John’s super-hot mental fodder.
In addition to writing, I’m a sex worker, so I’m forever making fantasies happen for others. It was beyond refreshing to have someone else, albeit a faceless voice on an app, make one happen for me. I was able to check out of “being in charge” mode and simply sit back and relax and put pleasure on guided autopilot. John Eros, whomever, wherever you are, thank you. I thank you from my nips down to my knees.
Last year, Sssh.com released a new collection of guided masturbation sessions geared towards women’s exploration and pleasure. Top guided masturbation favorites among Sssh.com members explore edging and nipple orgasms, while other sessions focus on exhibitionist desires, mutual masturbation, a vibrator tease, and more.
Although Dipsea was designed with women in mind, it caters to literally everyone, offering categories for gender and sexual orientation, the type of scenario (think “hookup” or “role play”) and the level of raciness.
The app is aimed at people of every age, gender, sexual orientation, and body size; both couples and singles alike. Short meditation sessions, called “Self-Care Practices,” intend to make pleasure part of your daily routine.
If you’re looking for audio erotica, where you can choose a voice to tell you exactly what to do, different paces of porn (from passionate to rough), and a variety of kink and fantasy scenarios, Quinn’s got your covered. Half of Quinn’s users are men and site’s most frequent search term is “lesbian.”
This app is all about female* sexual pleasure—and it's also great for people who have sex with people with vaginas. Whether you’re into edging, experimenting with rhythm, or multiple orgasms, this site teaches vagina havers that masturbation is the ultimate act of self-love.
(*It should be noted that not all people with vaginas identify as female, and not all females have a vagina.)
Dip into Guided by Glow’s gender filter-based sessions, with cues to help you focus you on tactile things like breathing or noticing the temperature of the room. Then, slowly, move into a more explicit sexual, imaginative, and instructive experience.
Ferly is pretty much a matchmaker when it comes to pleasure. Answer a few questions, and based on your comfort level, the app will steer you toward guided sessions with sex toys or educational exercises on how to touch yourself.

Positions for pleasure, not performance.

By
Rachel Thompson on July 11, 2019


The poses we see in porn aren't always what works for people.
Credit: Shutterstock / ECOSY


Sex Education's depiction of Aimee's masturbation spree was refreshingly accurate.
Credit: netflix

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Porn isn't exactly famed for its realism. Women masturbate with legs splayed and backs arched, orgasming after a few minutes of frantic rubbing and moaning.
But in reality, those positions aren't necessarily the most conducive to pleasure for women. What might seem hot in a male fantasy — which informs much of the porn we watch — isn't always close to what actually gets women off.
I must admit, it hadn't occurred to me that the way I masturbate might have been influenced by the porn I was privy to growing up. Given that many British women received little or no information about female self-pleasuring during sex ed lessons, many of us have been left to fill in our knowledge gaps with porn. A global survey of over 10,000 people by sex toy company Tenga found just 14 percent of British women learned about sexual pleasure during sex ed at school, and 17 percent of women learned about masturbation.
In March, during a London-held 100 Women I Know panel discussion about sex and power, Africa Brooke — founder of The Cherry Revolution , a movement aiming to "break societal norms surrounding women, identity and sexuality" — talked about being cognisant that the arched-back masturbation pose we see in porn isn't always what works for people — and that sometimes hunching over is better.
As sex educator Alix Fox — a script consultant on Netflix's Sex Education — puts it to me, "Porn often shows women rubbing themselves so frantically they look like they’re trying to start a campfire in their coochies."
"In much mainstream pornography, the act of women touching their own genitals is depicted — and choreographed — as something that’s primarily intended to serve men: both those they’re having sex with, and those who are watching, she continued. "Women are positioned in ways that purposefully splay and display as much of their pussies as possible, rather than to maximise their pleasure."
Sex educator Ruby Rare says that much of mainstream hardcore porn shows female masturbation in a very performative way and perpetuates a trope of "a woman lying down with her legs as far wide as humanly possible."
Always eager to unlearn habits formed because of the male gaze, I spoke to sex educators and women who masturbate about female self-pleasure positions that aren't shown in mainstream porn. Positions that might not necessarily make our bodies appear lithe and elegant, but will maximise the amount of pleasure during your solo sex sessions.
I asked women on Twitter to DM me their favourite masturbation positions — and my inbox was flooded with women telling me how much they love rubbing one out while lying face down.
"My fave is on my stomach so I can put weight and pressure on my hands," one woman — who preferred to remain anonymous — tells me. "I use both hands and I like to have the covers over my head to keep the light out (it’s usually morning) — the sunlight distracts me from my dirty deeds."
"Face down is my favourite I think, the easiest to come from," says Charlie, who prefers to be identified by her first name only. Face down is a popular position because the added body weight creates more friction against the clitoris, heightening sensation.
Fox — who's currently working on Season 2 of Sex Education — tells me that Aimee's face-down masturbation scene proved to be a real hit with viewers. "I got a lot of emails from viewers telling me how refreshing it was to see the character of Aimee orgasm whilst laying on her front, masturbating face down on her bed," says Fox.
Just as we switch up positions during partnered sex, why not shake things up when you masturbate?
"Lots of women automatically lay on their backs while self-pleasuring, but in the same way that different positions can change the way intercourse with a partner feels, altering your stance can change the effect of masturbation, too," says Fox. "Experiment with getting on all fours, or kneeling as though you were straddling a partner; leaning backwards activates your core and pull your pelvic area slightly more taught, which can make sensations in the genitals feel stronger," she explains. For extra comfort and added friction, you can perch yourself on top of a few pillows.
Megwyn White — advisor for adult toy brand Satisfyer — recommends rotating the legs inwards to "help add a deeper stretch for the muscles around the clitoris and rear of the pelvic floor.
Next time you're touching yourself, try clenching your muscles.
"Because so many parts of your body are interconnected with fibres and nerves, squeezing different muscles as you masturbate can enhance sensations, add pressure or pull against the genital region in ways that can be quite surprising," says Fox.
"The pubococcyygeus muscles — AKA the ‘PC muscles’ or ‘pelvic floor muscles’ — can have a strong effect upon sexual pleasure. They’re the same ones you squeeze when you’re weeing in order to stop the flow of urine. Try clenching in the same way while you touch yourself; you should feel a tightening, lifting sensation inside your vagina," she adds.
She recommends tightening then releasing the muscles that curl your toes. You could also try clenching your fists or butt, or stretching your legs so they're taught. "It might feel good to hold the squeeze, or to clench then release in a rhythm," says Fox.
"Often people enjoy masturbating while lying on their back in bed, however what might be different from porn is that you'll have the covers covering you. Some people really like to feel warm or hot and having your head under the sheets can be nice," says Rare.
One thing Rare enjoys is finding a sunlight spot in her bedroom and lying in that patch while she masturbates.
A lot of us are guilty of falling into a masturbatory rut when it comes to what we do with our hands and fingers. Sometimes it feels like you're in a frantic rubbing race to get to an orgasm-shaped finish line. Fox recommends trying a bunch of different things with your fingers — the possibilities really are endless here.
"You could try tapping motions; tickling; flicking; lightly slapping; going v-e-r-y-s-l-o-w-l-y; pulling on the labia or cupping the whole area with your hand; pressing down; varying between light and firm touches; hovering your hand above your genitals without touching them to build your sense of anticipation, before landing the lightest fairy-fingertip-kiss on your hot spots; making tiny circles with a fingertip," she says.
Keep your labia majora and mon pubis (the outside bit of your vulva) in mind too, advises Fox. "Try keeping your legs closed for a while and just stroking your flesh and pubic hair, and focusing on the sweet sensations there before you fully open the cookie jar," she says.
One woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, told me her favourite position is lying on the sofa, which she describes as "missionary for masturbation. "As a disabled woman, it’s the easiest too," she says.
In a somewhat similar position, White suggests lying in a bathtub with either one or both feet propped against a wall. If you happen to have a detachable shower head, you could incorporate water clitoral stimulation too. Just make sure the water's not too hot.
Sex blogger The Other Livvy is a fan of using furniture to get her solo-sex kicks. "If I’m in a chair then leaning far back in the chair with my arse on the edge of the seat to get as close to that same position as I can," she explains.
Propping one leg against a wall or piece of furniture can help you to move back and forth and create a rhythm.
Sure, you've heard of the G-Spot, but what about your U-Spot? "The ‘U’ here stands for ‘urethral opening’ a.k.a. the pee hole, a zone universally ignored in porn unless it’s a specialist golden shower video," says Fox. "The area is surrounded by spongy erectile tissue that can become '‘plumped up' or stiffer when a woman is aroused, and very sensitive to touch." Fox says that the U-Spot feels best when a featherlight touch or stroke is used and when the area is "copiously slippery and wet."
As Rare points out, there's really no such things as a "best position" — it's all down to personal preference and what you feel comfortable doing. "I would recommend people change up their habits with solo sex every once in a while just because it's nice to experience something new," says Rare.
One thing we could all do with unlearning from porn, however, is the notion that we need to look good while masturbating.
Embrace the "double chins and your body being in weird and wonderful angles" — as Rare puts it — and just focus on getting off. Enjoy.
For more on masturbation on Mashable, we ran a whole week of content just for you.
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