Best Sex Position For Orgasm
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Best Sex Position For Orgasm
by Madeline Haller and Zachary Zane Published: Nov 2, 2020
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I’m the social media editor for Cosmopolitan.com, as well as a self-proclaimed expert on Internet cats (tough job, but hey, someone has to do it). I'm from the Midwest and a proud Indiana University alumna. My obsessions — in no particular order — include running, writing, coffee, red lipstick, and margaritas.
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Blow your partner's mind with these earth-shattering moves.
For most people with a penis, it’s relatively simple to achieve orgasm . As the classic comedy Clerks famously quipped, “Insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat.” But for people with a vulva to have an orgasm? Not (always) as easy.
While porn may have you think you need to be hung like a horse or need to plow like a jackhammer in order for your partner to reach climax, that is far from the truth. A lot of what you want to focus on is external (the clitoris) and within the first few inches of the vaginal canal, explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of She Comes First .
“The first third of the vaginal canal is most pleasure-prone as it is enmeshed in the clitoral structures, so interspersing slow shallow strokes with deeper strokes are bound for their pleasure,” Kerner says. “Additionally, some pressure against the cervix also lights up the somatosensory cortex in the brain, along with clitoral and nipple stimulation.”
This means an ideal sex position to help your partner orgasm would include clitoral consistency, breast stimulation, and intermittent cervical contact. In simpler terms, make sure you can stimulate their clitoris (using your fingers or a sex toy works too), have access to caress their breasts and pinch their nipples, and lastly, throw in some deep strokes as well.
Simply having an interest in testing out new positions actually makes a big difference in their pleasure and arousal, explains Jen Landa , M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women . Showing that you care about their pleasure is itself a turn on.
Armed with this knowledge, and knowledge is (sexual) power, we’ve rounded up 10 positions that will help you perform like a pro in between the sheets.
How it works: Kneel and straddle their left leg while they’re lying on their left side. From here, they should bend their right leg around the right side of your waist—allowing full access to their vagina.
This position is an upgrade from standard missionary because this sets you up for deeper penetration and allows you to slow your roll.
Kerner says, “With your partner on their side, the girth of your penis will be hitting and emphasizing their g-spot in unique ways, while also allowing you to maintain a clitoral connection, which is often sacrificed in positions that emphasize g-spot stimulation .”
Spend some time exploring their body. This setup gives you complete access to their clitoris for manual stimulation. But don’t feel limited to solely hands-on fun.
Try withdrawing your penis and, while holding the shaft with your left hand, rub the head against their clitoris. Start out soft and slow, then as you increase speed and pressure, reinsert once you’ve brought them to the brink of an orgasm.
How it works : Stand at the edge of a bed while your partner lies back and raises their legs to their chest. Their knees are bent as if they’re doing a "bicycling" exercise. Grab their ankles and enter them. You’ll want to start by thrusting slowly, as the deep penetration may be initially painful.
Pro tip: Have them place their heels on your shoulders, which will open their hips so their labia press against you. This position is also great for manual clitoral stimulation.
How it works: You both lie on your sides facing the same direction with you behind your partner. Your partner bends their knees and pushes their rear back toward you for easier access to their vagina. Adjusting the lean of your bodies will vary the angle of entry and help with rocking and thrusting.
Pro tip: From here you can reach around and play with their breasts. Depending on the angle, you can potentially stimulate their clitoris manually. This position allows for deep penetration and body contact.
How it works: While they’re on their back, have them drape their legs on your shoulders. The angle of their body should be roughly 90 degrees.
This legs on shoulders move should be considered a staple, as it allows for deep vaginal penetration. If the standard G-Whiz isn’t doing anything for them, try grabbing their butt and tilting their pelvis upward, slightly toward you. As always, ask them what feels best; a small tweak can be the difference between them not orgasming and orgasming within minutes.
“A great position for both clitoral and cervical stimulation as well as eye-to-eye lovemaking and attunement,” Kerner adds.
Pro tip: Wrap your arms behind their neck and upper back, lifting them up gently. This not only helps them receive deeper penetration, but also feels more intense, since it forces you both to look into each other’s eyes.
For extra stimulation: Use a clitoris sucker or vibrator on their clit.
How it works: You’re lying down on your back. They straddle you with one leg on each side of your torso.
There are numerous variations to cowgirl , and it’s worth figuring out with your partner which one works best for them. They may prefer to have their feet planted on both sides of you, so they’re squatting on you as opposed to downright riding. They may like it when they lean back because it allows for deeper penetration. They may like when you do all the thrusting—but typically, what facilitates quicker orgasms is when they’re in control. They’re the one setting the pace, how deeply you penetrate, and which angles you hit. When they’re in control, they can give themselves everything they need to orgasm.
“It’s also great for guys who come first, as you can still grind your penis against your partner as you're losing your tumescence (erection),” Kerner says.
For more on the woman-on-top sex position, check this out:
How it works: They lie on their back with their legs bent and up in the air. Their legs are slightly past shoulder-length apart, and they’re gripping the soles of their feet with their hands.
If your partner is a yogi, they’re going to appreciate bringing their yoga practice into the bedroom. And even if they’re not into yoga, they’ll appreciate the orgasm you help give them. Happy Baby Pose allows you to hit all their angles while they’re on their back. It’s also an ideal position if you want to engage their clitoris too. With one hand you can stimulate their clitoris, and with your other free hand, you can hold onto them for support.
Pro tip: Happy Baby Pose is also an ideal position for anal sex , during which you can digitally penetrate their vagina and/or play with their clitoris.
How it works: They sit on their heels and then lean forward. While remaining on their haunches, they extend their hands forward; all the while, their back remains straight.
Since we’re already incorporating yoga into our sexual repertoire, let’s talk about child’s pose. First off, if they have a bad back, this position is great since it elongates their back muscles. Even if they don’t have back pain, this position is really relaxing. That’s why it’s often the neutral pose during yoga, when you need a break from doing other, more strenuous poses.
When they’re relaxed during sex, they’re more likely to have an orgasm . That’s not to say you can’t go hard in this position, you can and should if that’s what they like, but this position is ideal for both relaxation and deep penetration.
Pro tip: Have them grip the bed frame for stability, so you can penetrate harder and deeper.
How it works : Position them on the edge of the bed, posing on all fours. As you stand behind them, have them arch their back so it lifts their butt upward.
With your legs outside of theirs, use your thighs to squeeze their knees together, which tightens their vagina around your penis. “It's the squeeze of the knees together that will provide pleasurable friction against your penis and stimulation of the vestibular bulbs that are part of the clitoris and press against the vagina at the entrance,” Kerner says. This position is ideal for G-spot stimulation and also gives you a great view of their curves.
How it works: Have them lie face down on the bed with their knees slightly bent and hips slightly raised. For comfort, and to increase the angle of their hips, you can suggest placing a pillow under their lower abs.
From here, enter them from behind and keep your weight off of them by propping yourself up with your arms. This position creates a snug fit—which intensifies their pleasure by making you feel larger to them. “This is a great position for increasing your friction, achieving full penetration, while also stimulating their g-spot,” Kerner says.
Pro tip: You’ll last longer in this position if you switch to shallower thrusts and deeper breaths.
How it works: Lie on your back and bend one of your legs, keeping the other outstretched. Have them straddle the raised leg with a thigh on either side and then lower themselves onto your member so that their back is facing you.
From here, they should hold your knee and use it for support as they rock up and down.
“This position is great because it's a lot like the reverse cowgirl, but with a twist,” says Landa. Raising your knee allows them to rub against your thigh—which produces optimal clitoral stimulation, she adds.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS , at Civilized .
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For women, having an orgasm can be tricky business — and certainly a bit more complex than it is for most men. We can thank biology for that one in addition to patriarchal, heteronormative cultural forces that have historically prioritized men’s pleasure over women’s.
When it comes to women getting off, sex experts say the key (at least physically) is to stimulate the clitoris, which is the anatomical equivalent of the penis in terms of structure and sensitivity. But because much of the clitoris is buried in tissue, muscle and fat, it can be more complicated and time-consuming to stimulate and bring to orgasm. That anatomical difference is one reason why the term “orgasm gap” was coined — because men’s bodies may make it a bit easier for them to come. But because of outdated societal norms that depict sex as a vehicle for men to get off, they’ve also traditionally had the luxury of expecting to climax, even if it was at the expense of a woman’s pleasure.
Research by sociologist Elizabeth Armstrong et. al. shows that women who sleep with other women or are in long-term relationships have higher orgasm rates, likely because they’re with partners who either understand their bodies better or are more invested in getting them off. That just goes to show that even if women’s bodies are a bit more nuanced, we’re more than capable of bringing home an orgasm under the right circumstances.
To that end, below you’ll find five sex positions, courtesy of sex therapist Marissa Nelson , that are geared toward serious clitoral stimulation. Because while we won’t argue that sex for the sake of connection isn’t fun and all, sometimes a woman just needs to cross the finish line. So let’s all do our part to close the gap!
“An oldie but always goodie, 69 is a position that couples find to be super-pleasurable, but somehow don’t do enough,” says Nelson. “Woman-on-top 69 gives freedom to move your clitoris and position yourself for optimum orgasm. It’s always great for both partners to be experiencing pleasure at the same time.”
“This is a fantastic position for the partner to hit both the G-spot and stimulate the clitoris simultaneously,” says Nelson.
“This is a great position for intimacy,” says Nelson. “You can hold each other close and grind in unison, and women can stimulate their clits using the shaft or tip of the partner’s penis or strap-on.”
“Female partners can stimulate themselves by rubbing the clitoris on their partner’s stomach and/or shaft of the penis,” says Nelson. “You can also control of the depth of penetration so you can do what feels best to you and set the pace. Partners can finger or stimulate you during penetration or you can self-pleasure.”
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