Best Sex Guide

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Best Sex Guide

Oh, This? Just Cosmo’s Best Sex Tips of All Time


By
Anna Breslaw , Carina Hsieh and Rachel Varina

13 Truly Genius Hot-Weather Sex Positions
Hi, You Should Be Having More Morning Sex
55 Super-Sexy Ways to Turn On Your Partner
14 Tips on How to Elevate Your Car Sex
Super-Sexy Questions to Ask Your Person
14 Blow Job Sex Positions That Do It for You Too
I Made a Naughty Vid of Myself—and Then Watched It
Um, Should You Botox Your Butthole?
14 Sex Positions to ~Feel~ More When You’re on Top
Let's Talk About What Pegging Feels Like...
I Tried Those Mouthwatering Mints From TikTok 👀
Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. 

Rachel Varina
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona ) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries).

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More than 50 years of sexual wisdom coming right at you.
We don’t like to brag, but Cosmo basically invented sex tips. Following the legacy of our fearless leader, Helen Gurley Brown , (maybe you’ve heard of her?) we’ve been dropping the hottest—and, okay, yes, sometimes most out there —sex advice for literal decades. (So what we’re saying is, yes, your grandma probably read our sex tips. Sorry, moving on.)
Look, it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. And for the past, oh, 57 years or so, (but who’s counting?) we’ve dutifully doled out all the must-know info on sex and how to do it. Suffice to say, that’s a hell of a lot of sex tips. So, for your convenience, we’ve distilled all those years of sexual wisdom into 16 absolutely need-to-know, most important Cosmo sex tips—16 pillars of sex advice, if you will. No need to thank us, just doing our job.
Okay, brag moment over. But before we get into the actual tips, first a little crash course on sex itself—and no, not like the one you got in high school sex ed . Yes, we know you probably have the basics down by now, but part of what makes this *very important* job of ours so exciting is the fact that the way we define, think about and experience sex is constantly evolving. That’s true of society as a whole, but also of each of us as individual sex-having beings. As therapist and sex expert Angela Jones , PhD, puts it, sexual activity is pretty much the essence of human nature. (I mean, it’s kind of the only reason any of us are even here in the first place, if you think about it.)
“Humans are sexual beings, so to not work on your sex life and understand your sexuality is denying yourself full understanding of who you are,” she explains. Not only does knowing what you do (and don’t) like sexually help you find pleasure—whether it’s solo or with a partner—but sex itself is a form of communication and self-care.
BTW, by “sex” we are very much not talking about straight P-in-V intercourse—at least not exclusively. “Sex is not defined as penis in vagina, or penis in anus, or vulva and vulva, or oral or kinky or vanilla, or anything that has to do with specific sexual acts,” says certified sex therapist, Holly Richmond , PhD, a member of Dame’s Clinical Board . Obviously there’s no one set definition for sex, but according to Richmond, it all starts with consent and pleasure. “All sex is good sex as long as it’s consensual and pleasurable,” she says.
“Sex is anything that brings you erotic pleasure,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly , PhD, a global ambassador for WOW Tech . “This might include snuggling, kissing, sexting, video chatting, flirting, fingering, sucking, grinding, humping, or penetrating, but this list isn’t exhaustive.”
As for what makes sex—however you want to define it—good, that’s obviously something that’s determined on a pretty individual basis. “That said, there are some fundamental elements that researchers have determined make for great sex,” says Richmond. These include “presence, connection, intimacy, empathy, authenticity, vulnerability, exploration, and transcendence,” she explains. “When we look at sex through this lens, it’s about feelings, communication, trust and connection with ourselves or with a partner, and mostly, an overall sense of pleasure.”
Now that we've got the basics down, here are some of the best sex tips to ever come out of Cosmo that’ll help you on your quest for pleasure and connection. Enjoy!
Give yourself at least 45 minutes to get turned on. Seriously! Slow things down a bit and wait until you're fully turned TF on for sex that's even more mind-blowing.
Activate your senses to make sure you’re fully turned on. Candles! Lighting! Scents! Never underestimate the importance of ambiance, people.
Forgive and forget with some super-sultry makeup sex. All couples fight (it’s a part of a healthy relationship to have disagreements) but what better way to get into each other’s good graces again than with some vulnerable, tender makeup sex? If that’s not your vibe, there’s also must-have-you-now standing sex against a wall for an added layer of urgency. Either way, there’s a sexy way to move on after a fight.
Make sure you come first if you just started dating. Women often focus on their partner's orgasm and treat themselves as an afterthought. Since we're all creatures of habit, doing the reverse pays off in the long run.
Don’t be afraid to initiate. If your partner is usually the one who initiates sex , switch things up by showing them just how much they turn you on and flip the switch—everyone loves feeling like their partner just can’t resist them.
Read a steamy book before a date. You'll feel more sensual during the deed as you visualize a hot storyline.
Create a secret code that translates to sexytimes. Maybe "get me a dirty martini" means "let's blow this joint… and then each other."
Keep your sexts simple. If you're having writer's block, the hottest possible thing you can send: "I need you now."
Establish consent! Remember, “All sex, no matter what you do with yourself or a partner, has to start with consent and focus on pleasure,” says Richmond.
Make a “Yes, No, Maybe” List. A “ Yes, No, Maybe” list can help you and your partner(s) determine your boundaries and figure out what you might be open to exploring together.
Talk dirty! You don’t need us to tell you that dirty talk can be extremely hot. Feeling tongue tied? Right this way for a little inspiration.
Read up on other real women’s masturbation habits so you can take some ~inspo~ from them.
Take a voyeuristic gander at some of the all-time steamiest sexts ever to turn yourself on. We won't tell if you decide to reuse these on your partners in the future.
Touch yourself beneath your bath jets to get to know what sensations do it for you. Are you into counterclockwise clitoral strokes? Nipple stimulation ? Find out—then bring your favorite moves to your next sex session.
Do a dirty talk test to gauge their sext nastiness. Ask, "What would you like me to do to you? Details, please." And see what words they use and how risqué they're willing to get. Then follow their lead (if you're feeling it)!
And sext what you desire. If you want more oral and less jackhammer, type "I can't stop thinking about your mouth on me tonight," throw in a kiss emoji, and hit Send. The message will be received.
Lead with a compliment. Say "I love the way you…" before suggesting a new move ("it would turn me on so much if you used your fingers like this…"). Then ask them to return the verbal favor.
Have your partner scribble down a "menu" of the top three moves that drive them crazy. Then do the same. Swap lists, and take turns serving up the goods à la carte or taking notes for future sex seshes.
While giving oral cover their fingers with yours and bring their hand down to touch you. It'll arouse them to see you taking control of their movements and will help them make sure their touches are exactly what you need to climax.
Watch horny Tik Tok videos. Venture to the ~after dark~ side of it to see if it turns you on.
Watch porn together. It could turn both of you on enough to shut it off and start some action IRL, give you inspo for new moves, or just be a bonding activity.
Or find a woman-friendly porn site for yourself . Feeling non-icky about the porn you watch can make a huge difference in your sex life.
Try giving a virtual BJ . Grab a toy and sext your partner that you're about to treat the toy like their penis and go forth. Not only is it hot for them, but you'll probably find it hot for you to be putting on such a sexy, exhibitionist-y show.
Give a sexy lap dance by switching between standing above your seated partner, squatting, and sitting. Turns out that's the secret to a sexy lap dance: just alternating your stances.
Watch a sexy show together. Turn on Witcher , Bridgerton , or Outlander and let the steamy scenes influence how you spend your night.
Do it in front of a mirror. Doggie style intercourse in front of a full-length mirror allows you one of the best seats in the house. You can lock eyes tenderly in the mirror or go at it with carnal thrusting, all while checking each other out at the same time.
Eye contact is the secret to amazing oral. Give a wink or some smize action, and they'll be putty in your mouth.
Remind yourself how much you turn them on. Seeing their face as they're lost in ecstasy—and realizing you're making it happen—can be the push you need to cross the finish line.
When on top , focus on grinding more, instead of moving up and down. By grinding agains t your partner's groin, instead of just bopping on top of it, you get way more much-needed clit stimulation.
Use your tongue even more during sex. Everything from dirty talk, kissing, licking, you name it. Get your tongue in there and watch things go va-va-voom.
Get the balls involved. Shaft stuff is cool, but ball stuff can really spice it up a notch. Tug, tickle, and squeeze them mid-play to up the intimacy.
Use your hips to draw the letters “W,” “M,” and “O” when on top. Letters with these dips let you and your partner feel way more stimulation during vagina-on-top style sex.
Alternatively, try spelling out “coconut” with your hips while on top. You get all the added stimulation from working your hips and grinding as opposed to just jackhammering yourself up and down on your partner.
Try the Amazon sex position . Or any wild sex position. Sex is just as mental as it is physical, and trying out adventurous and empowering novelty positions can do way more for you than you’d think.
Ditch the eye contact in reverse cowgirl . While sex face-to-face certainly has its moments, change it up by getting on top and facing away from your partner
During missionary, lie on your back, and lift your legs up and over to one side. This makes you superrrr tight, and the angle of your hips means they'll hit spots that rarely get TLC.
Lean back instead of forward in reverse-cowgirl. It's a primo angle for you and gives your partner a phenomenal view of your fanny.
Tighten and relax like you're Kegeling when you're close to climaxing. This alone can sometimes trigger an orgasm (and it feels amazing for someone with a penis too).
Skip the in-and-out thrusts and stir instead. This will stimulate every inch of you, whether you're using toys, fingers, or a penis.
Rotate from vulva-on-top into reverse-cowgirl. Take your time—you'll avoid any crazy mishaps, plus a slow-mo approach just looks that much sexier. Not only are you hitting a series of new hot spots for both of you with each different angle, but they'll dig the 360-degree view of your gorgeous bod.
When was the last time you had chair sex ? There’s a lot more sexual potential to the humble chair than meets the eye, trust.
And the table ? Pick a table, any table. If you have a table lying around (which, chances are, you do) you have sex apparatus ready to be defiled.
The couch works too! A little obvious, sure, but the couch is still a nice little sexcation away from your bed.
The bathroom sink isn’t just for brushing your teeth. You can sit on it, bend over it. The possibilities are endless.
Work on your non-sexual touch . Find a way to work in hair stroking, back rubs, hand holding, anything PG that encourages you and your partner to show physical affection for one another.
Kiss every day for more than just a couple of seconds. It wards off the perilous roommate effect, especially if you live together and lately have been spending more time doing chores together than checking each other out.
Make hand jobs the main event. Sex is so much more than just penetrative sex, and backing away and focusing on other variations with the same intensity as you do penetration sex can zhoosh some hotness into your routine.
And when it comes to hand jobs, experts suggest using some light applied pressure . You want to act like your hands are creating a vagina for their penis, so a bit of snugness is good here.
Work your nipples slowly through your shirt for a nipplegasm. Friction can be your friend here. You don't want like, chafing , of course, but light touch and patience can go a long way here.
Prioritize oral sex. Have a few nights where the main focus isn’t penetrative sex, but only you receiving oral sex . Communicate with your partner so you can both discover what works best for you in terms of giving and receiving.
Try kneeling beside your partner during oral instead of in front of them. Not only will you give them a great view of your ass, but you also might find it more comfortable and easier for you (or them) to stimulate your clit (also called the Kivin method ).
Use your mouth and your hands during blow jobs. Take the head in your mouth, and lick and swirl like you would a soft-serve cone. Meanwhile, use your hands to grip, squeeze, and stroke the length of their penis.
Play with hot and cold sensations. If you're not into the old ice-cube-in-the-cheek trick, try alternating oral with drinking something cold or warm. Even easier: Lightly blow air on their genitals after having them in your mouth.
The hole at the tip of the penis (the meatus) is sensitive during arousal. With your tongue, apply medium pressure on and off.
Use a Tenga Egg for a quick, modified blow job sleeve. Use it with a squidge of lube for a truly out-of-this-world blow job experience that also takes a lot of the effort out of it for you.
Know the difference between a cheap sex toy and a legit one. Feeling good about body-safe materials in the delicate ~ecosystem~ of your vulva and vagina is priceless, TBH.
Bring a bullet vibrator to bed. The rabbit vibrator gets all the glory, but using a bullet vibe on your clit during doggy is a total game-changer.
Try a nipple toy that isn’t just a nipple clamp. Suction toys, nipple lickers, and nipple vibrators, to name a few. Pair with some body-friendly lube or massage oil and you've got yourself a good reason to clear your schedule for the night.
But yes, also try nipple clamps . They’re cheap, don’t take up a lot of space, and nipple clamps can be just as pleasurable with or without a partner. Slap a pair on and your hands are free to still touch around.
G et a sex swing . It doesn’t have to be a fancy contraption that you need to hire a contractor for. Plenty of kits are designed to fit over your door!
Try ribbed condoms. The textured nubs and ribs on these specialty condoms provide extra stimulation to your clitoris, upping your odds of orgasm.
Use lube . Start with a dime-sized amount, put it on you and your partner’s genitals, and reapply as needed.
Then warm yourself up with some warming lube . These lubricants have ingredients that slowly warm up, increasing blood flow to whatever area of application.
Try a cock ring . By restricting blood flow to the penis, the ring makes erections harder and stronger (also helpful if they have issues finishing too early or staying hard). And of course, there are tons of vibrating cock rings out there that may make orgasming easier for anyone with a vagina as well.
Invest in some secret BDSM jewelry. There's luxury, then there's luxury . If you’re just bored of spending money on the usual, ball out and get some bougie bondage jewelry that looks like a regular accessory.
Try a remote control vibrator. Whether you’re handing the reins to your partner to drive or just over fiddling with the buttons on your vibrator right as you’re about to reach peak, remote-controlled vibes make masturbation way easier.
Try a vibrator with sonic waves. Your clitoris is like an iceberg. The part that you can see is only a small portion of it. There are nerve endings underneath the visible part that you can’t see or touch. Using a vibrator with sonic pulses (like a loud, booming speaker that shakes your whole body at a club) can help target these nerves and put you in ~touch~ with the otherwise unexplored parts of your clit.
“Good sex is about the journey, not the destination,” says Jones. “If you only focus on orgasming, then you can miss the pleasure and experience of the whole intimate act.”
Try orgasmic meditation . Despite the name, having an orgasm actually isn’t the point of orgasmic meditation (AKA when you or a partner rub your clit for 15 minutes while meditating). Rather, it’s all about being present in your body and paying attention to physical sensations.
Give your partner a massage. Or have them give you one. Massage is a great way to engage in sensual touch and physical pleasure without prioritizing orgasm.
Set a “no orgasm rule.” Obviously it’s fine if you break it, but mutually agreeing to take orgasms off the table for a sex session with your partner can help you both let go and focus on other aspects of sex, like physical and emotional intimacy and pleasure.
Give car sex a whirl. No, it’s not just for teenagers who have nowhere else to go. In case you missed it, a whole-ass car sex renaissance is upon us. Climb in, baby.
Vacation sex is the best sex. Sometimes just getting out of town is all you need to do to take your sex life to the next level.
Yes, you can have actually good sex in a hot tub. We promise. Just follow these tips .
Get busy in a public place. Do it in a place where you'll hear someone coming, like in the middle of a stairwell—the footsteps on the stairs will tip you off that it's time to get moving before you get caught.
Literally just have sex in the bathroom. Sometimes just switching to a different room is all it takes to heat things up. May sound unsexy, but the bathroom is ripe for sexual adventure—and no, we’re not just talking about shower sex .
“ Good sex can include elaborate, intense experiences and multiple orgasms, but it certainly doesn’t have to, ” says Richmond. There's nothing wrong with prioritizing comfort and simplicity.
Try the sideways 69. If you tend to find the classic 69 uncomfy or otherwise ~overrated~, try just flipping that baby on its side. Makes everything ten times easier, trust. (You’re welcome.)
Invest in sex furniture. In case you missed it, there’s a whole world of sex furniture out there that’s literally designed to make your favori
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