Best Position For First Time Anal

Best Position For First Time Anal
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Good news: Anal sex is becoming less and less taboo. And by that, I mean GREAT news, because women can actually enjoy butt play just as much as men do. Seriously. "I've come across plenty of women who love anal play," says Gigi Engle , sex coach and sexologist (she's legit a sexpert for the Womanizer sex toy brand). Anal sex provides a different kind of fullness and can be really, truly intimate (especially if it's a first for both of you). Another major perk? Some women even experience full-on anal orgasms . With the right positions and a few helpful pointers, you could be one of them.
But if it's your first time, there’s a few things you want to keep in mind. “Go slow and go small,” says Joanna Encarnacion , a sex and relationship coach. Play around with fingers first working your way up from small to big. Start with the rim of the butthole before going all the way in with a penis, strap-on, or dildo. Remember: Lube is your absolute best friend (do NOT pass go without it) and never switch from butt to vag (because bacteria, people!).
But most importantly, don't forget to check in with yourself and your body during penetration. "There’s no shame in taking it back out and coming out of the whole situation until you’re a little bit more comfortable,” Encarnacion says.
Okay, now that that's all been covered, here are the best 15 anal sex positions to try when you're ready.
This position is perfect for people who are relatively new to anal sex because it's easy to pull off (but still hot). "Use hand play first to ease into it and see how this position works for your before slipping in the penis," Encarnacion says. Once you decide it's a go, you can control how far down you sit onto your partner, which means you can go as deep or as shallow as you like. If you're looking to spice up the position, reach your hands around the back and grab your partner for more contact. You can also simultaneously play with your own clitoris or their balls for added stimulation. "Don't be afraid to get handsy with this one," Encarnacion says.
Do It: Have your partner sit on the edge of a bed or a chair. With your back to them, slide down on top of them.
The Lying Doggy is perfect for shallow penetration—which you should definitely try if you haven't already. Most of the nerves in the anus are in the first two inches of the opening, so this is a great way to get that stimulation even if you're an anal sex beginner. Pro tip: Play around with teasing in this position. "It's great for beginners because you don't have to commit to the whole thing (literally!)," Encarnacion says. But you still get allll the stimulation. If you want more though, add a vibrator to the mix and use it on your clitoris while lying down, she suggests.
Do It: Lie on your stomach, and have your partner lie directly on top of you, entering from behind. Have them balance on their elbows for optimal comfort.
Anal sex positions are often a face-away-from-each-other kind of deal, but this one allows you and your partner to get some eye-contact in during sex. That adds to the whole intimacy thing. You can also kick things up a notch and calm your nerves with a little nipple sensation from your partner. "This will add a different sensory experience and take away some of the pressure on your mind around the anal play that's occurring," Encarnacion says.
Do It: Have your partner enter you from the missionary position. Keep your knees pressed against his side to control how deep they go, putting your hands on their chest for extra resistance. You can also add a pillow underneath your hips, to get the pelvis in the perfect place for penetration.
Don't you love that this position is called the Caboose? While it's a must-try for regular penetration, it's a really sweet one for anal. "Have them grab their hands on your ass and slowly lower you down," Encarnacion recommends. This will start the intimacy off on a high note. And once you're in the position, you'll be attached from the torso to your legs and can kiss each other to up the romance even more.
Do It: While he sits on the bed or a chair, back yourself into his lap and spoon each other while seated.
If you’re interested in standing anal sex positions, this is a great choice. It's ideal for shallow penetration, giving your nerve-rich anal opening plenty of attention. Encarnacion recommends playing around with a sex wedge or pillow to switch up the depth or direction of penetration.
Do It : Have your partner kneel against the bed and you lie across the edge, leaning on one side with your back (and obviously butt) facing them. Lean back into his penis. Swivel your hips to control the speed and motion.
Oh, spooning—the lazy girl's move for vaginal, and now anal, sex. This position is great when you don't want to make eye contact (sometimes, especially when your partner is up your backdoor, you don't want to) or feel like busting out crazy moves. Plus, skin on skin is hot. And if you're worried about the position feeling too simple or mundane, add some build up. "Rub your partner's penis against your clit, pulling it downwards before it goes in," Encarnacion suggests. You'll get both clitoral stimulation and create more of a tease before diving into full anal.
Do It: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind.
Anal sex in the cowgirl position is especially hot because it gives the person on top all of the control. It's also super easy for you and your partner to reach around and finger your vagina or rub your clitoris . And remember—there's more than just up and down movement. Rock back and forth too to provide yourself with another stimulation option, Encarnacion says.
Do It: Have you partner lie down faceup, then straddle them. Slowly slide yourself down at your own pace. Lean forward, placing both hands on your partner's chest or shoulders.
Regular Lotus is touted as one of the most intimate and romantic positions there is. Make it the anal version, and you take that intimacy up a notch (okay, several). Here, you're as close to your partner as possible, and you get some eye-contact time that can be oh-so-hot. "Making out during this one is a really great way to seal up that intimacy," Encarnacion says. One other note: He'll likely feel pretty deep, so go slow.
Do It: Have your partner sit on the bed or couch. Climb on top of their lap. Slide down so you’re face-to-face.
Reverse cowgirl may not be your favorite for regular P-in-the-V action (though your partner probably LOVES it), but in the anal sex world, the position is clutch. You get to control his depth and thrusting pattern with relative ease. Encarnacion recommends incorporating ball or clitoral play to the mix for an added layer of stimulation. And of course, your butt is right there, so having your partner pull your cheeks apart or push them together can feel also feel very satisfying.
Do It: Have your partner lie on their back. Straddle them backward and slide down at your leisure. Have your partner stimulate your clit, while you offer them an ultra-sexy view of your backside.
The Spork is really, really hot for any kind of sex—there's the intimate eye contact, the intertwined legs, and the slightly twisted angle of penetration. Try it as an anal sex position and it might become your favorite. And don't forget about kissing during this one. "Typically in anal sex positions, you don't always have access to the face. So take advantage of that," Encarnacion says.
Do It: While you lie on your back, raise your right leg so they can position themselves between your legs at a 90-degree angle and enter your anus.
Doggy style is the classic anal sex position for a reason: It's perfect for deep penetration, and you can arch your back for even deeper thrusts, which can help target that infamous A-spot . Try rocking your hips back and forth to add some variety to the position. "It will change some of the internal sensations," Encarnacion says. But the major perk? It can also more quickly stimulate an orgasm for some women.
Do It: Get on all fours, and have your partner enter you from behind. From here, your partner can (and should) easily stroke your nipples or clitoris, too.
The only thing that makes anal even hotter? Turning the kink up, by having you bend forward and your partner restrain your wrists (even if it's just with his hands). It's a gentle foray into BDSM . And remember to get handsy with this one too. If you can, grab your partner by their butt and have them grab your hips for an even deeper penetrative thrust, Encarnacion says.
Do It: With both of you standing, bend over at the waist. Have them enter you from behind as they grip your wrists and hold them by your sides.
Calling all anal veterans! If you’re a gal who loves deep penetration, this (appropriately named) position is a must-try. Not only does the angle give them full entry, you're also in the perfect setup for a finger or two (or a toy) inside your vagina. The result? Total fullness. If it's your first time trying this position though, remember to ease into the sensation, Encarnacion says. And if you're worried about your legs flailing around, hold them with your hands if you can to provide yourself more control.
Do It: Lying on your back, bring your legs up to your shoulders. Have your parnter enter you from above, using his hands to balance above you.
If you’re someone who regularly engages in anal sex, you'll really love this position. Raising your hips makes them feel deeper and allows you to reach under you to stimulate your clit with a toy. There's also something really hot about the submissiveness that comes with having half your body (consensually!) pushed into the bed. And there's no reason why you shouldn't play into that. "Have your partner reach around and grab your boobs or pull your hair," Encarnacion says. "This position gives you a chance to really play up the kink."
Do It: While on your knees, lean forward and place your chest on the bed. Have your partner enter you from behind. For deeper penetration, have your partner lean back and hold your hips to pull you in.
This might be one of the most advanced (and extreme, I must say) anal sex positions out there. For one, you need to be able to take all of him inside, since he's more or less sitting on top of your rear. Two, you can't move around much, so you have to be able to withstand all the action, at least for a bit. And three, look at that flexibility! Pro tip: Do some hip openers or pigeon poses to open up the hips before trying this one out, Encarnacion recommends. It will help release tension and loosen your body up. This way all you have to worry about is feeling good.
Do It: Lie on your back and bring your legs up over your head. The more flexible you are the better. Try to get your butt as high in the air as possible. Have your partner lower themselves onto you. He should have great access to lean down and stimulate your clitoris.

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When it comes to anal, missionary will never steer you wrong. Approach this favorite vanilla sex position with a backdoor twist: In the missionary position, place your legs on his shoulders. With the right amount of lube and relaxation, even initial penetration should be pleasurable.
Missionary is easy-peasy for most maiden voyages, but Johnson and Michaels caution that this anal move may not work for everyone, “Some people may not be sufficiently flexible for this position.” For those who are flexible and looking to try new things, Dr. Jess explains her take on missionary, “Better yet, place the soles of your feet against his shoulders so that you can push back and release according to your preferences.”
Anal on the stomach is comfortable and easy, with the right prep work beforehand. First-timers can relax and make penetration enjoyable by lying on top of a pillow placed under the stomach. For women, this elevates the backside nicely and still gives enough room to stimulate other body parts.
Johnson and Michaels recommend incorporating sex toys into the act to keep things interesting, “This is a great position for stimulating your own clitoris or using a vibrator.”
Because of the opportunity for sex toy play, Dr. Jess adds that on-the-stomach anal can be especially favorable to the ladies. She says, “This is one of the best anal sex positions for women (as the receptive partner), as she can reach down to stimulate her pubic mound and clitoral shaft with her hand or a flat vibrator (try the We-Vibe Touch ). The dual stimulation helps to increase arousal, which heightens relaxation to create a cascade of orgasmic sensations.”
We are all familiar with spooning for some great side-by-side action. Spooning is also a top choice for anal since both partners are more likely to be relaxed. As the “little spoon,” you can make penetration easier by curling up and pulling your upper legs slightly toward your upper body. And while you’re at it, here’s a naughty little secret to double your pleasure — use a vibrator to get to the finish line.
According to Dr. Jess, spooning is the perfect first-time anal position for lovers. Johnson and Michaels add a helpful tip from their own bedroom experience, “You can give your partner a better view of the action by holding your upper leg just below the knee and opening up.”
Ransom also believes that spooning is ideal for a pleasurable beginner anal experience. “This is a great position to stay relaxed in. It also allows for clitoral stimulation and vaginal stimulation for a trigasm.” She advises, “Stay relaxed — your partner should enter you an inch at a time. Then, allow your anus to become accustomed and relax around his penis. Then [he can] enter you another inch and another, and continue until he is all the way in. Be sure to have plenty of lubrication with any anal penetration.”
A version of the story was published August 2020.
Before you go, check out 69 more sex positions to try before you die:
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

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