Best Porn To Watch As A Couple
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Best Porn To Watch As A Couple
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
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The best porn to watch is porn you pay for , obviously. Just think of the benefits: You don't get inundated with ads for penis enlargement pills that don't work; you don't have the temptation to click those virus-y links promising a beautiful woman is 0.6 miles away and horny for you, specifically.
But the biggest reason paid porn is the best porn is that it supports your favorite performers, who are more often than not underpaid and overworked.
"We pay to stream movies, TV shows, and videos games and the folks who work in those industries don’t even have to think about keeping their sexual health in check in order to do their jobs," Cory B ., a kink coach and sex educator, tells Men's Health . “Porn stars work HARD, and the least we can do as a society is to compensate them for their labor that has brought us so many orgasms.”
Ayesha Hussain, co-creator of Pass The Porn and founder of The Violet , also urges consumers to seek out "responsible porn." That means supporting production houses that strive "toward ethical business practices and spreading sex positivity," and practice "negotiation of scenes on screen, transparent and equitable pay, safety standards on set, and aftercare ."
Well, we've made it very easy for you to find the best porn you could possibly watch. At the end of 2019, Pornhub released its annual Year in Review , which revealed the most-searched porn categories in the United States and worldwide. We asked the folks over at Adam & Eve , one of the world's largest sex toy retailers, to recommend some pornos from those top-searched categories in the U.S., including, but not limited to: lesbian; MILF; anal; and big butt. (We also had them answer why these videos are their favorites in the respective categories. It turns out, The Big Ass Anal Exxxtravaganza 3 is far better than Anal Models 4.)
Here are some recommendations from Adam & Eve and Hussain: aka, a list of the best porn you could possibly watch.
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Instead of wasting an hour flipping through Netflix, then Hulu, then Netflix again in hopes of deciding on a dram-edy for your Friday night in, consider a much hotter type of screen time in bed: watching porn together.
“Watching people have sex is hot in itself, but when you engage in something you don’t usually do with another person, you create an extra element of naughtiness,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin . That added illicit feeling can be enough to make sure you—not just the actors on your screen—enjoy a, er, climactic finish.
But watching porn together offers a handful of other benefits beyond just getting off (not that that’s not worthy on its own). So read on...then get browsing, girl.
Real talk: Your partner, especially if he’s male, has very, VERY likely watched porn . And chances are, you have, too. But most people watch it by themselves, either because they don't want their S.O. to get offended, or worse, because they're secretly ashamed.
"Watching porn together means you don't have to hide anything," says sex and relationship expert Christie Hartman , PhD. "And being open and honest strengthens your bond."
So if you think cozying up to spectate a super-intense 69 sesh is something only hookup buddies would do, think again: Allowing a partner to enter into your “private life” opens up a whole new level of intimacy.
How do your thoughts on porn compare to others? Women get real, here:
You know those random things that turn you on? Like, seeing someone handcuffed to a bed, or watching a woman have her nipples nibbled on (even if you’re not totally sure you’d like to be that person IRL).
Viewing porn with your partner creates an immediate opportunity to talk about those hot buttons in a safe space: You can comment as you watch—“Hmm, that looks kinda fun…”—without having to straight-up ask for a specific sexy deed, which can be intimidating.
Likewise, your partner may have some turn-ons that they haven’t felt comfortable voicing when it’s just the two of you (and no actors) in the room. If they see something that intrigues them while you watch porn together, they can approach the act/position/fetish/insert-sexy-thing-here and likely get an honest reaction from you (“No way!” or “Omg, let’s try it”).
P.S. More than half of women in one survey said watching porn together gave them the confidence to ask for what they want in bed. So…it works.
Watching people get it on while you’re with your partner is insanely stimulating to the brain, almost like watching a scary movie together or drinking together, explains Hartman.
Assuming you actually like your partner, and you’re choosing a film that both of you are into, “sharing in the excitement is what makes watching porn together so amazing,” she says.
Plus, just watching your partner get aroused as they view what’s happening on-screen can be ridiculously stirring for you, too, adds sex therapist Barbara Winters, PhD. This goes for men more so than women, since guys typically feel powerful when they're able to turn on their partner, she notes.
Still, if you’re the type of girl who loves getting your partner off, chances are, you’ll love watching them watch others.
You can read about every sex position in the world, but nothing comes close to actually seeing a crazy setup in action. Watching real people (okay, porn stars) enjoy non-vanilla sex can make what may have seemed unrealistic more doable and fun.
"Watching porn together may encourage couples to try role-play, new positions, or acts they haven't tried before," says Hartman. "A little adventure is good for a relationship, especially after being together for a long time."
A lot of porn may seem “out there,” since the traditional, mainstream type often caters to more casual, rough encounters than sweet, intimate sex (the kind many women prefer).
And when you’re watching porn on your own, you may stick to the same kinds of videos over and over, which is totally fine—but may keep you from exploring other types that you may actually find super hot.
When watching with your partner, though, you’ll likely get a sneak peek at what they like to watch, opening your world, says Marin. The result? You might uncover fantasies you didn’t even know you had.
Good Q! And it’s actually a really simple answer: Just ask.
“Most men will jump at the idea to watch porn with their partner,” says Marin. Similarly, if your significant other is female, she’ll very likely love the thought of participating in something that will get you both going.
Approach them by saying something like, “I’m curious about what kind of porn you watch. Want to see if we can find a video we’d both like to watch together?” suggests Marin.
If they’re not into it—or they mention the idea to you and you’re not feelin' it—don’t push it. Watching porn isn't for everyone, so you should never feel obligated or pressured to partake.
"Ethical porn can be more enjoyable to watch as a couple."
You may also want to consider watching a specific category called “ethical porn,” Marin says. “Ethical porn, which is often produced by female filmmakers, is more realistic and not degrading, so it can be more enjoyable to watch as a couple," she explains.
Even still, if you give watching porn together a try and it makes either of you uncomfortable, no worries. Agree to close that browser window and,ya know, maybe give that random Hulu movie another chance.
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Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.
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PSA: You should be paying for your porn! Thank you!
Wait a hot minute. Porn? And ethics? There’s an ethical way for me to watch a woman be turned into a human chandelier by a harness that’s considered ethically above board? Enter: Ethical porn . Because we all need this in our lives. This (kind of) newly emerging market strips away the stuff that’s wrong with pornography (like the fetishizing of people of color, the endless punish f*cking of women, and the lack of lube ) all while allowing it to retain all its amazing hotness. You might be making smut (and society might hate you for it), but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a responsibility to offer fair wages to actors and to depict sex acts that center around female (trans, non-binary, and all genders) pleasure.
“Producers who create ‘ethical porn’ focus on fair wages, bodily autonomy, communication, and consent,” explains Sarah Melancon, PhD , a sociologist, clinical sexologist, and resident expert at The Sex Toy Collective.
Now, you may have heard the term “feminist porn” before. This is often used interchangeably with ethical porn. However, Lilly Sparks , founder & CEO of the ethical porn site Afterglow , says that while there’s a lot of overlap, there are differences. “To some people, feminist porn is porn that centers the pleasure of women and gender minorities; to other people, feminist porn is porn that portrays a diversity of body types, genders, sex acts, and abilities; and to other people, porn is not feminist unless performers are paid fairly and treated with respect.” Basically, there are a lot of different definitions.
So how can you consume ethical porn? By paying for it! “Money is needed to pay performers, crew, post-production, and all freelance collaborators fairly, and to ensure that sex work is done in a safe environment,” says Erika Lust , feminist porn producer and founder of Erika Lust Films. “I believe we should be responsible consumers and support the people that create the entertainment we enjoy.”
Yes, this does mean leaving behind the (incredibly shitty) free tube sites. “It is important we pay for any products or services we consume,” says Melancon . “Stealing is immoral, unethical, and illegal—even (I’d argue especially) when that product or service involves sex.”
With all this in mind, we would love to help you on your ethical smut journey. We’ve collected the 20 best ethical porn films that money can buy. Get after it.
Headed by performer Vex Ashley, Four Chambers, once an art project, now exists as its own independent, indie porn production company. The films exist in a space somewhere between porn, art, dreamscape, and fantasy. Supplicant is a meditation on religion, power, and sex. That is, “the act of giving up control; devotion and subjugation. Dual states of purity and sin. The ritual of transcendence. The undertones of tension that are imbued in repression and reverence,” writes Ashley.
If Alfred Hitchcock was a queer POC, the award-winning full-length thriller Snapshot might have been the result. Photographer and voyeur Charlie is lusting after a gorgeous older butch named Danny, but their doin' it is complicated when Charlie accidentally snaps a photo of a murderer and becomes his target. Also playing an uncredited starring role is a well-used Magic Wand.
$9.95/rent for 48 hours, or free with $9.95/month subscription at PinkLabel.tv
This was Erika Lust’s first film and remains possibly her most amazing work ever. The plot has a bit of Taken vibes in the beginning, but in a good way. When Paisley's sister Maddie disappears in a foreign country, she decides to follow her to Spain. Arriving in Barcelona, she discovers her little sister isn’t the innocent girl she used to be anymore. To make things more complex, she winds up in a (very hot) tryst with Maddie's roommate Michael. Paisley's search leads her to the offices of none other than Erika Lust herself. She becomes an intern, and, well, things get dirty and we’re here for it.
Ok, so the plot is kinda non-existent in this one, and it’s basically just: couple has sex. On the other hand, maybe that's the best plot ever. It's joyful, passionate sex with lots of connection and laughter. Julia Roca has a beautiful, real-seeming orgasm and it seems super believable because, well, take a look at Sylvan Garcia's truly stellar uncut dick.
$6.50/monthly subscription to Dusk-tv.com
This movie is Fifty Shades —handcuffs and a BDSM contract-wielding rich guy included—but with more graphic sex and with less questionable ethics. There's plot—Emma's attempting to deny her desires and be “normal"—but she's obviously going to be all-in with the submissive thing. I mean, it's right there in the title. The Canadian Feminist Porn Awards gave the movie the award for “steamiest romantic movie.”
$15/to stream (forever) at the Ethical Porn Store
Performers (and real-life couple!) Daniela Escalona and Manuel Melinkoff play a chocolatier and cacao supplier in Venezuela who have had an ongoing, burning attraction, but have never taken it further than their own personal fantasies. Luckily for us viewers, after assistance from an Amazonian aphrodisiac concoction, they find themselves overpowered by desire and chocolate covered sex ensues. The passion in this film is pure fire.
$12/12 month subscription to XConfessions
On Lustery, real couples share their sex videos to capture the realness and intimacy of homemade/amateur porn, but with higher ethical and aesthetic standards than the stuff you get on free tube sites. Parisians James and Luna are sexy and gorgeous, as we know is required by French law, and filmed themselves in their bedroom having all kinds of deliciously GGG (good, giving, game) sex. Need more convincing? This film includes swoony POV from Luna's chest of James' mouth between her legs.
$8/12 month subscription at Lustery.com
Okay, so we know we said movies , but we would truly be doing you a disservice by not including this incredibly amazing, super-hot five-minute short. In it, the couple sensually touches, caresses, and makes out. There are major Dom/sub vibes. This is the only time we’ll recommend something without sex and unpaid on this list but trust us: It belongs here. It originally appeared at legendary writer, podcaster, and sex positive icon Dan Savage’s Hump Film Festival, which might just make this the ethical and sexiest porn(ish) out there.
Performers Ana Foxxx and Damon Dice have worked in porn scenes together before, but those scenes were never about what the actors themselves were into. It is a job, after all. In Always Got Your Back , the actors finally have a chance to freely enjoy each other the way they'd like. They’re best friends IRL and their erotic connection is palpable before they even touch each other.
$3/month (special offer) on Bellesa.com
This oldie-but-goodie is one you really don’t want to miss. Director and writer Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry is the first in a series of full-length "behind the scenes" movies for Vivid Entertainment where the performers choose who they have sex with, what acts they engage in, where, and when. Volume 1 is basically a reel of all the best moments taken from these erotic clips. It’s so hot, the series won Best Gonzo Release at the AVN awards in 2007.
The idea that sometimes in a relationship you need to shake things up a bit leads to a couple inviting a third into their bed. The trio spends a passionate afternoon together, but unlike typical MMF porn, it's not just two guys bonin' a girl and pretending the other dude isn't there. Director and Bright Desire curator Ms. Naughty says of her also-amazing (it's all amazing, really) Since You Asked So Nicely that it “queers straight sex and shows that pleasure can be attained in multiple ways, no matter how you identify,” and that's true of all her work. Ms. Naughty makes pornography that re-shapes what porn looks like and redefines what it even is.
$12/monthly subscr
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