Best Missionary Position
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Best Missionary Position
Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 29, 2021
The missionary position is one of the most basic sex positions . The term started back in the late 1960s or early 1970s. It was used to describe heterosexual intercourse in which the man is on top and the woman is on the bottom, both facing each other. Today, the term has a broader and more inclusive meaning that goes beyond heterosexuality.
In this position, one partner is on top of the other so that they are face to face. The penetrating partner, or the one who’s on top, usually has more control than the partner underneath them.
The missionary position requires a partner. Generally, this position is described as having the female partner lying flat on her back with the male partner on top, facing her.
It can be done in a similar way even if the couple isn’t heterosexual. One partner lies flat on their back and the other can be on top of them, facing them. This creates close contact between the partners for either vaginal or anal penetration.
The partner on top is between the legs of the partner on the bottom. Because of this, the partner on top usually has more control when it comes to speed and depth of penetration. But the partner on the bottom can also change the position of their hips and legs to create different sensations for both partners.
The partner on top can prop themselves up on their arms, or they can lie down a bit and put more of their weight on their partner.
As popular as it may be, even the missionary position has some myths and misconceptions surrounding it.
The missionary position might be one of the most intimate sexual positions you can try with a partner.
Since you’re face to face, you can maintain eye contact with them throughout intercourse . As both partners are quite close, this means that you can easily kiss or touch your partner and maintain skin-to-skin contact.
This position remains popular because it is low-effort and does not require a lot of skill or experience. It’s comfortable and not intimidating. And since one partner is lying down and doesn’t need to move much, it can be relaxing.
The missionary position is defined as the penetrating partner on top of the partner being penetrated. But there are different ways that you or your partner can position yourselves to create different sensations and angles.
For example, the partner on the bottom can rotate their hips up or down to create different points of stimulation. They can also try adding a pillow under their bottom, which creates deeper penetration. Many couples find that starting in the missionary position can lead to trying other positions throughout intercourse.
If you want to try the missionary position with your partner, the first thing you need to do is talk with them. This position is quite intimate, so both you and your partner need to be on board.
This position is so popular because it’s one of the easiest to do. But if you have back pain , you may want to be the one lying on your back. If you can, hold your legs at a 90-degree. This can help keep your back muscles relaxed.
Bedsider: “10 ways to make missionary position feel amazing.”
Dictionary.com: “missionary position.”
Current Anthropology : “Missionary Positions: Christian, Modernist, Postmodernist.”
Cosmopolitan: “5 Blissful Sex Positions for When You Have Back Pain.”
Sexual Health Resource: “Sex Positions - Photos, Tips & New Ideas.”
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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Let's challenge the 'missionary is boring' narrative right now.
For some (annoying) reason, the missionary position is often disregarded as the easiest and therefore, the most boring sex position of them all. First off, it's as boring as you make it. And secondly, it's a classic for a reason, OK?!
Plus, on a poll by Lovehoney , it was voted the third most popular (after doggy and cowgirl ), with 12% of couples choosing it as their favourite. For anyone who doesn't know, missionary sex is where the giver - a man, male-bodied person or penetrating partner (someone wearing a strap-on dildo ) - is on top. The receiver - a woman or female-bodied person - lies on their back. The partners face each other, and that's missionary!
Here Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight explains there are lots of ways to add a bit of variety to the position. Here are her 8 easy tips for having great, safe, and enjoyable, missionary position sex.
"One of the beauties of sex in the missionary position is that it allows for lots of skin contact," Annabelle says. "So go for maximum skin contact."
What to do: Rub your hands up and down your partner’s back or along their sides. Pull them close, and feel your chests pressed together.
"The missionary position doesn’t mean you have to lie still as your partner moves," she says.
What to do: Try bending your knees, planting your feet on the mattress (or ground) and moving your hips. You can rock your hips back and forth, or move them in circles.
Remember, most (around 70-80 per cent) of people with vaginas can't climax purely through intercourse. So what's the natural response? "To stimulate your clitoris during penetration which will increase your chances of orgasm," Annabelle says.
What to do: Good news, the missionary position is particularly well suited to this. Simply reach down and stroke yourself while your partner penetrates you.
Sex toys are so much fun, and also make partnered sex more exciting and varied. You'd be a fool not to try them at least once. Annabelle suggests "introduce a small bullet vibrator into your lovemaking."
What to do: Either of you can use it to stimulate your clitoris before, and during penetration.
BUY NOW Desire Luxury Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator, Lovehoney, £49.99
It's also worth experimenting with one of the most popular couples’ sex toys - a vibrating love ring , aka cock ring . This is worn around the penis during sex. It restricts blood flow, giving the person harder and longer erections. It contains a small bullet vibrator on top to maximise your pleasure, by vibrating against your clitoris while your partner grinds.
What to do: Use lots of lube so you're both comfortable, and slip the cock ring down to the base of your partner's penis. Switch the the vibrator on, and enjoy the extra stimulation as you carry on sexing as normal.
BUY NOW Desire Luxury Rechargeable Vibrating Cock Ring, Lovehoney, £44.99
"This has to be the most important plus for missionary sex when it comes to intimacy," Annabelle says. So, if you're not creeped out by intense eye contact, "look deeply into your partner’s eyes."
What to do: One fun way to add real intimacy is to try to hold eye contact during orgasm - preferably during a shared orgasm, when you are both climaxing together.
Without the ability to move your arms, or see what is happening, every tiny touch will feel more intense, Annabelle explains.
What to do: Introduce some handcuffs and/or a blindfold , just to add an element of surprise to proceedings and vary your routine.
Obvs we all know by now that communication is the one true key to great sex. But missionary position is the perfect one for speaking softy to each other.
What to do: Tell them how much pleasure you are feeling, instruct them what to do next - whatever turns you on.
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Missionary gets the shaft as the most boring sex position, but it might just be women’s new favorite after this scientific discovery.
Researchers at private gynecology clinic New H. Medical in New York found that the tried-and-true method — with the male on top of a woman whose hips are propped by a pillow — is the best way to get blood flow to the clitoris and achieve orgasm, according to a Daily Mail exclusive report.
Doctors used an ultrasound scanner to measure blood flow on a test couple as they got it on in five positions for 10 minutes each, including face-to-face with female above (“The Cowgirl”), face-to-face and seated (“Lotus”), face-to-face with male above, with and without a pillow (“Missionary”) and kneeling with woman bent over (“Doggy-style).
Additionally, according to the scans, face-to-face positions generally enhanced clitoral blood flow, leading to better orgasms.
Despite countless guides touting “how to please your man/woman” available in the media, the team of researchers, led by Dr. Kimberley Lovie, aimed to address a dearth of “scientific research that evaluates the association between different coital positions and their ability to produce female orgasm,” they wrote, per DailyMail.
“The kneeling/rear entry position produces the least amount of direct clitoral contact, and resulted in a negligible increase in blood flow compared to the face-to-face positions,” researchers wrote, per DailyMail.
The pillow was key to maximum pleasure as they achieve deeper penetration.
“Pillows marketed for this intention, often referred to as ‘sex pillows,’ or ‘positioning pillows’ are usually firm and wedge shaped, providing more precise and consistent pelvic angulation than conventional bed pillows,” they explained.
However, they noted that results among women may vary as they don’t experience the same level of stimulation in every sex position, due to men’s own unpredictable or inconsistent “thrusting forces.” Still, they hope that the finding will help inform clinicians and their patients with sexual dysfunction.
“Difficulty achieving orgasm, the causes of which are multifactorial, is one component of sexual dysfunction,” researchers concluded. “Clinicians can use these findings to counsel patients about which coital positions might help them achieve climax.”
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Aryelle Siclait is the editor at Women's Health where she writes and edits articles about relationships, sexual health, pop culture, and fashion for verticals across WomensHealthMag.com and the print magazine. She's a Boston College graduate and lives in New York.
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It's easy to write missionary position off as the most vanilla sex position of all time. I mean, when you've got moves like the Corkscrew or the Reverse Scoop , it can easily pale in comparison.
But that doesn’t mean you should take missionary off the table, or resort to it only when you're feeling lazy (or ya know, hungover). In fact, there are several good reasons why it should be a regular part of your repertoire.
"Missionary sex can be hot because of the intensity it can bring on—the skin-to-skin contact, eye contact, the close-up smells of each other’s bodies, and just the mere closeness of two bodies," explains Debra Laino , DHS, a sex therapist and professor at Jefferson University and Wilmington University.
Missionary opens the door for tons of sensuality on top of the pleasure that comes with sex of any kind. Plus, because it's so basic, it's actually THE prime sex position to build from. You can adjust and modify missionary so that it fits your mood Every. Single. Time.
Missionary sex simply means that the person doing the penetrating (whether it's with a penis or a strap-on) is on top and the person receiving is lying underneath them.
Missionary is a great starter move that doesn't require much flexibility or effort. Of course, all the thrusting stimulates the penis, says Nan Wise , PhD, a cognitive neuroscience researcher, certified sex and relationship therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters
So now that you get the bennies, onto the good stuff—a.k.a. making missionary sex visionary sex. Here's how:
What some might consider foreplay , Wise calls erotic play. Foreplay promotes the separation of the beginning from the main event when, in reality, it's all sex—as long as you're feeling pleasure, she says. Don't downplay the buildup, she insists, because it's super important for getting into and staying in the ideal headspace for what's to come.
So, instead of relying solely on the sensuality of missionary to make you feel connected to you partner, warm up with a some light vaginal penetration with your fingers or your partner's, says Laino. Or, if that's not your move, try oral sex as your transition to intercourse so that you and your partner can start building up the mood from the start.
"Erotic play is important with all positions," Laino says. "But because of the intensity of missionary, it’s especially nice to work into it." (Gradual = less awkward, especially with a newer partner.)
Your breasts and nipples are two of your biggest erogenous zones , so give them some TLC. Massage, suck, clamp, or lightly pinch them during sex, suggests sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First . And if it's hands-free nipple stimulation you're looking for, position yourself underneath your partner for chest-to-chest contact. This way, you can take toys and fingers out of the equation completely while your partner's chest rubs against yours as they thrust. It might even be enough stimulation for a nipple orgasm .
Don't forget to stimulate areas that aren't between your legs or on your chest. Some less obvious zones, says Wise, are your ears and neck. Ask your partner to lightly graze their fingernails against the back of your neck, or put your tongue in their ear after playfully tugging on their earlobe with your teeth.
Of course, what might feel good to you might not be a sexy zone for your partner , so get their okay beforehand or stop if they say it's not their thing.
Sex isn't a race (unless you're looking for a quickie ). So, instead of rushing for an orgasm, slow down, says Wise. Focus on your breath and try to sync your exhales with your partner's. This allows you to savor the sexual sensations you're experiencing as a unit.
Or, in a move borrowed from tantric sex, you might exhale into your partner's mouth while they inhale. Not only is this hot AF, but these deeper breaths will also increase blood flow and circulation to your pelvic area, upping your pleasure, Wise says.
Still not it? Try switching up your moves while you slow down, says sex and relationship expert Jessica O'Reilly, PhD, author of The New Sex Bible . Mix up the rhythm by moving your hips in a circular motion instead of simply moving up and down, she suggests.
The best part of missionary is just how easily you can change the placement and intensity of stimulation—just by switching your body angles.
If you want deeper penetration, place a pillow beneath your lower back to prop up your pelvis, says Wise. Tilting your pelvis upward forces your partner to thrust downward and thus more deeply into you.
If you're looking for more clitoral stimulation, consider this slight twist on missionary called the coital alignment technique (CAT). To do it, have your partner move up toward your shoulders so that their penis (or the strap-on) can apply more pressure on your clitoris than usual as they enter you. Instead of thrusting in and out, your partner will grind against your pelvis.
"CAT is the single-most powerful position for two reasons," says Wise. The first is that it increases stimulation on the external clitoris, which, if that's w
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