Best Masturbation For Women
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Best Masturbation For Women
Make masturbation a full-body experience.
Keep your legs together during orgasm.
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It's about time you know what you really like.
Masturbation should not be a taboo topic for women: Not only does it feel amazing, but it can also improve your health , sleep, and sex life. Whether you struggle to reach orgasm , are a busy mom who needs to do the deed faster, or are simply looking for a different masturbation technique to spice things up, these tips will sharpen your solo sex skills.
Assuming you're familiar with the clitoris , it's time you get to know the more elusive G-spot. Located on the upper wall of the vagina, about two to three inches inside the vaginal opening, it swells up when you are already aroused, says Courtney Cleman, founder of the V. Club . Stimulating it can boost the sensations that can help you orgasm that much faster, she adds.
While there are G-spot vibrators that help get the job done, to find it manually, insert one or two fingers into your vagina, palm facing down, and curl your fingers back. When you start to feel stimulated , you've hit the jackpot.
Your clitoris and G-spot may be the main events during masturbation , but paying attention to the rest of your body can enhance your experience, Cleman says.
“Run your hands all over your body, as your partner would do, and give attention to your breasts, hips, and other areas where being touched turns you on ,” she suggests. “Like sex, masturbation will be more fulfilling if you make it a full-body experience.”
Bringing your legs together just as you’re approaching orgasm will make masturbation (and sex) more pleasurable. Cleman says doing so increases stimulation to the clitoral organ, which is actually six to eight inches long, on average. "[It] will give a sudden boost to your sensations, and can push you over the edge immediately," she says. "Just don’t do it too early when your body can’t possibly orgasm yet.”
When you want to masturbate but don't have much time, Cleman says it's best to hone in on a single sexual fantasy and stick to it. "The brain is our largest sex organ, so to masturbate faster, try to stay in the moment,” she explains. “Focusing your mind on the pleasure that you are experiencing will make orgasm stronger and bring it on faster.”
Even the smallest distraction can keep you from reaching orgasm, which is why setting the mood can be one of the most important steps you take. Goddess Cecilia, a sexuality and pleasure educator at O. School Pleasure Professional , suggests having a couple of stimuli always at the ready. "A favorite descriptive paragraph in a steamy story, sexy images, or videos for your eyes only [are all great ideas," she says. Even if you don't have a ton of time to spare, making these stimuli a part of your masturbation can help put your brain in a state that's primed for pleasure, making it all the more likely to have an orgasm .
Lubricant is not meant to be reserved for penetrative sex; using it is an easy way to get you to orgasm faster, Cecilia says. Just make sure you purchase one that works best for your body — if you have a history of frequent UTIs , yeast infections , bacterial vaginosis, or you just feel more sensitive down there, Cecilia says a more natural, water-based lubricant is likely to work well as it has fewer ingredients that could potentially be irritating.
Sex toys are as diverse as women's desires, so it's important that you try out a variety of them to discover which toy textures and sensations you enjoy most. One kind that Cecilia is a big fan of? Toys that rumble. "[They] tend to have better stimulation and produce better orgasms,” she says.
But every woman is different, and there's such a wide variety of products out there that provide different types of stimulation — oscillation, rotation, and pulsations of air, for example. "Once you know what type your body responds well to, that can be your go-to toy that brings you to bliss with minimal effort," Cecilia says.
Masturbating in water can instantly relax your body and mind, and there’s no shortage of sex toys that are perfect for water play.
“Try a suction dildo that attaches to the surface of the tub,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., sexologist and host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast . “You can adjust the angle and height, [as well as] the rhythm and depth to suit your needs.”
O'Reilly's top pick: the We-Vibe Wish . "It fits perfectly around the entire surface of your lips to stimulate the inner and outer parts of your clitoris," she says.
When you masturbate in the shower , changing the temperature by a few degrees can make a world of difference. Run a warm shower and, while the hot water cascades over you, press your frontside against the cold wall and touch yourself,” O’Reilly suggests. Focus on how your clitoris responds to the sensations of the cool wall and the hot water in succession, as the contrast may bring you to the brink faster.
Many women are verbal, so it's more likely they'll be turned on by steamy passages in books than by visuals or their own sexual fantasies, O'Reilly says. That's why she suggests stashing a few sexy books by your bed, and reading a chapter or two before you masturbate. Then, "if the mood strikes you, you can drop the book and get yourself off using your fingers and fantasy alone," she adds.
Always having sex i n the same position can get boring, and the same goes for masturbation. And while there's nothing wrong with doing it the same way for years, mixing it up can bring you to new levels of pleasure.
“New positions lead to new angles and new, often more pleasurable, sensations as your body is awakened by the thrill of anticipation and the unknown," O'Reilly says. Need some inspiration? “Try squatting, lying on your stomach, standing, or putting one leg up on the side of the tub or bed,” she suggests.
If there's no time to get off before you get on with your day, don't wait until you're back in the bedroom to get in the mood. You can actually wear a discreet vibrator beneath your clothes. The We-Vibe Jive , for example, is designed to deliver rumbly vibrations to your G-spot, and the thin outer arm fits discreetly in your underwear so no one will be the wiser, O'Reilly says. "You can control it from your phone, or give your partner the power to control it from theirs." Sounds like the making for a fun sex game , if you ask us.
It's not super well-known, but some medications can really mess with your arousal and libido. Antidepressants like Prozac, hormones, and pills that treat hypertension are common culprits, O'Reilly says, so if you've been experiencing a delay in orgasm since starting a new prescription, talk to your doctor about alternatives with fewer sexual side effects.
If sex toys aren't really your style, there's good news: There are plenty of props around your house that can do the job just as well. "Rub up against the side of the mattress, a firm pillow or the bathroom sink,” O’Reilly suggests. “Humping furniture may not be your ultimate fantasy, but it can be expedient!”
A few masturbation tips are really helpful, but at the end of the day, what feels good is unique to you. So try not to get too caught up in what you see in porn or hear from friends. "You can be inspired by other people, but ultimately you have to experiment to discover what turns you on and gets you off,” O’Reilly says. “Some people prefer penetration, and others like to rub themselves off. Some desire intense vibrations; others respond to the gentle flow of warm water. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to masturbation.”
Moral of the story: relax — and have fun.
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Giving yourself time to explore your body is important.
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Zoë Ligon is a sex educator, writer, artist, and the owner of the sex-positive online toy store Spectrum Boutique , which is based out of Detroit. She loves psychological thrillers, saunas, weed, and girthy sex toys.
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Masturbation can sometimes feel daunting. Even if you’ve been doing it for years, you may be having trouble orgasming or wonder if your technique could use some fine-tuning. I’m 25 and have only been masturbating since I was 19, which surprises people given that I’m a sex educator who sells sex toys for a living. To this day, I find myself feeling self-conscious about how I can be so “set in my ways” when it comes to solo sex: I cozy up under a heavy comforter, grab my wand and a dildo, and have at it. I also get frustrated by how easily I can get thrown off course, or about how particular I am with my environment.
Ultimately, though, I feel happy to have one reliable way to get myself off. I know from my experience as an educator that there are many, many others who have yet to find a way they like to do it. Perhaps you’re feeling frustrated about masturbation, too, and you’re looking for a way to get into it or enjoy it more. Maybe you already masturbate, but you’re not feeling satisfied with your practice.
The first thing I want you to know is that, wherever you’re at, you're not alone. Take solace in the fact that many of us are still trying to figure out how the heck to pleasure ourselves on our own terms, and that even a “sexpert” like myself needs pointers from time to time. With that said, let’s dive into a few things to remember as we re-acquaint ourselves with…ourselves!
We all like being touched in different ways, and sometimes, we’re not even sure what they are until we feel them. When we take the time to explore on our own, though, both our solo and partnered sex lives benefit. Exhibit A: I need intense pressure or vibration to get off, but my sexual partners for the first five years of my sex life only executed light, fluttery rubs and tickles or suction-y cunnilingus — which I hated . Eventually, through plenty of trial and error, I figured out my love for intensity and bought myself a big ol’ Magic Wand to lovingly smoosh my clit with.
But remember: We're all different. I share my experience to illustrate that you may be frustrated with masturbation simply because you’ve been trying the same method over and over to no avail. No two people like exactly the same things. You might prefer rubbing, pinching, tickling, circular motions, up-and-down or side-to-side strokes, or even light smacking — but you’ll never know until you try them all.
If you know types of stimulation that you don’t enjoy, you’re already on your way to figuring out what you do like. the process of elimination takes courage, determination, and patience, and sometimes it takes a few misses to find a hit. Allow yourself blocks of uninterrupted time to explore your body, and don’t pressure yourself to reach orgasm by the end. If it happens, great! If not, you’re gathering valuable intel about how to make yourself feel great.
We are sold a very rigid and unrealistic depiction of masturbation by the mainstream media. If “female” masturbation is portrayed, it’s usually off-camera, under the covers, or immediately orgasmic . It’s also hard to find earnest depictions of self-pleasure in mainstream porn. Personally, I love watching femme cammers, as well as performer-made porn . Performer-created content sites like Findrow are also great for watching more realistic depictions of sex.
Solo sex can absolutely involve toys! After all, no human has vibrating hands or genitals. Vibrators use rotary motors to create rumbly, buzzing sensations that can feel delicious internally and externally. They can even stimulate deeper portions of the clit if you apply enough pressure or have a very strong vibrator.
I think of sex toys as being like makeup applicators: Some of us use Beautyblenders, some use foundation brushes, and some of us use our fingers — all methods get the job done, just in different ways, and it’s OK to prefer one method over another if it gets the job done better for you. Unfortunately, there is a lot of myth and stigma surrounding vibrators, for example, that vibrator use will “ruin” sex without a vibrator (not true). At the end of the day, you should absolutely use a toy if that’s the type of stimulation you crave. Dildos and vibes are also self-affirming tools — like physical tokens to both remind you your pleasure is important and to help you get it.
Personally, I used to feel self-conscious about the fact that I couldn’t get off easily without a giant vibrator. But then I realized this didn’t mean there was anything wrong with me; it’s just the way my body happens to work. What’s more, I was getting suckered into believing the patriarchal myth that a dick should be the only thing I need to get off. If toys pique your interest, browse options online or pay a visit to your local sex-positive shop.
No matter what kind of stimulation you like, lube is a must-have. It’s not just for postmenopausal people or butt stuff , as I’ve heard many strangers to lube claim. Even if you self-lubricate in mass quantities, a good lube will allow you to maintain frictionless glide so you don’t feel sore or rug burned after playtime. Water-based lube is compatible with all materials and is mess-free (but will eventually evaporate and need reapplication if you’re in the throes of a lengthy sesh). I recommend Sliquid Sassy : It’s a thick, long-lasting, water-based lube that is hypoallergenic and only has the bare minimum ingredients needed to make it lube-y.
Silicone lube, like Überlube , is a body-safe oil alternative that is compatible with all materials except silicone (liquid silicone can degrade solid). It’s safe for inside and outside bodies, though, as well as for safer-sex barriers like condoms. It also lasts much longer than most water-based lube because it rolls along the surface of the skin and eventually sheds away (water-based lube absorbs into the skin if it doesn’t evaporate). As a sex educator, I find that lack of lube is often the best fix for uncomfortable or painful masturbation (and partnered sex) — so don’t hold back. Douse any and all orifices in lube.
Which part of ourselves should we begin exploring, then? There’s a lot of hype over the sensitive front wall of the vagina, also known as the G-spot. If you have yet to find what your body craves, though, the G-spot isn’t the most intuitive place to start. Let’s consider the clit, the only human organ devoted solely to pleasure. It’s homologous with the penis, but the majority of it is internal — the button-like glans you probably think of as your clit is actually just one small part of the whole structure, which is shaped like a wishbone. (Not that the glans doesn’t pull its weight: It’s got at least 8,000 nerve endings , about twice as many as the penis has).
The spongy erectile tissue of the G-spot is found about two inches into the opening of the vagina, but you may not really be able to feel it before you’re aroused and the tissue swells. You may even have trouble finding your clit when you’re not aroused, for that matter. However, unlike G-spot stimulation, clit stimulation usually produces yummy sensations instantly.
My clit nearly retracts into my body and hides under the clitoral hood, which is also a really neat tool for varied external stimulation: It feels vastly different to touch the external pea-like area head-on than it does to stimulate it indirectly. (I definitely recommend focusing your attention outside before concerning yourself with the inside — this will only help the internal exploration later on.) Yanking back the clitoral hood and directly touching the external clit can be too much stimulation — just like it can be painful to directly stimulate the “head” of the penis after yanking back the foreskin. One of the many beauties of a clitoral hood (and foreskin) is the ability to indirectly stimulate the glans (another name for the external clit or penis head).
It took me a really long time to figure out that I personally preferred this indirect type of stimulation — but you may love going to town on your exposed clit. Explore until you find a way that works for you. Since hands are the world’s most versatile sex tool, you can experiment with both broad and pinpointed stimulation. Using two or three flat fingers or even your palm disperses the pressure, and separating your pointer and middle fingers and pressing them alongside the vaginal opening can stimulate the deeper tissues of the clitoral legs.
Experiment with back-and-forth, up-and-down, or circular movements, and go wherever your intuition takes you. If you’ve always been a person who masturbates on their stomach, try finding ways to stimulate yourself on your back — or even upright. Sometimes I assign myself the task of simply attempting to keep my eyes open the entire time, or not focusing on the ceiling above me (seriously). I have also set a simple goal for myself of becoming comfortable with masturbating in the tub — until recently, I never bothered to try. Little steps that briefly take you out of your comfort zone encourage your brain to adapt, making you an even more versatile masturbator.
Look, sex is sold to us as being penetration-centric and penis-in-vagina-focused. The thing is, that kind of sex usually does a lot more for the penis owner. Some people with vaginas fear they are “broken” if penetrative intercourse doesn’t do the trick for them, but guess what? Most vagina owners need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Yes, it’s really fun to play with the G-spot and other areas like the anterior fornix (also known as the “A-spot”), a sensitive area nestled between the cervix and front vaginal wall. But many folks don’t fully enjoy these kinds of play unless they’re paired with clitoral stimulation.
Unfortunately, masturbation isn’t something that we’re encouraged to talk about. Even the most comprehensive sex-ed can fail to leave out the actual steps to achieve pleasure . Even if you’re comfortable talking to a parent or mentor about sex, you probably aren’t keen on asking them for their personal t
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