Best Lesbian Jokes

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2017-02-26 Funny jokes 2 Comments 77,406 Views
We all like a laugh. Here is a great list with funny Lesbian jokes. If you dont know what a lesbian are, then here you’l have an explanation. Lesbian is a woman who likes other woman. Not as a friend but in a sexual attraction. Read these jokes and laugh your pants off. Dont forget to share with friend.

Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died?
They found her face down in Ricki Lake.
What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
“You know, we do taste like chicken!”
A lesbian slept with 13 women in one night and suddenly died.
At her autopsy it was discovered she had died from a crack overdose.
Did you hear about the lesbian who took too much potenspills?
She couldn’t get her tongue back into her mouth for over a week!
What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
A block of flaps!
Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?
Neither. They both eat out.
Why were lesbians invented?
So that feminists wouldn’t breed!
What do you call two lesbians floating down a river.
Fur Traders.
How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
How many screws are there in a lesbians coffin?
None, Its all tongue and groove!
Did you hear about the new politically-correct term for lesbians?
Vagitarians.
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.
Why did the lesbo stick a potato up her yum-yum?
So her girlfriend could enjoy some chips with her fish.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
“I’ll see you next month.”
What do you call an open can of tuna fish in a lesbian’s apartment?
Potpourri.
More lesbian jokes
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men.
What do parsley and pubic hair have in common???
Nothing,you push them both to the side before you start eating!
What do Polish lesbians use for a lubricant?
Tartar sauce!
What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
A new carpet to munch on.
The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently HD was the wrong answer.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-a-likes.
What do you call a lesbian’s closet?
A lick-her cabinet.
Why did the lesbian build a shelf?
To hold her shoulders.
A woman got lost in the desert. She stumbled across a lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie.
The genie offered her the traditional three wishes.
Her first wish was to be powerful, intelligent, and loved by all.
The genie thought a moment, snapped his fingers, and turned her into a lesbian.
Why was the lesbian sick?
She was lacking vitamin D.
What do you call a lesbian who fell asleep tanning?
Fried fish.
What do lesbians need to get married?
A Licker license!
What’s the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
What do lesbians do after they have an argument?
They go home and lick each others wounds!
Why don’t fem lesbians go on dates?
Because it’s hard to eat Jenny Craig when you’ve got Mary Kay on your face.
What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
A Klondike!
Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?
It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.
What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles?
Militia Etheridge.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
Gaylick.
What’s the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
Well hung.
Remember to share these Lesbian jokes
Did anybody hear about that new cough medicine for lesbians?
Dyquil!
Why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five?
She wanted to preserve her palm.
What card game do lesbians play?
Poke-her.
What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A Licker cabinet.
What do lesbians call potens pills?
Batteries.
What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
Hairballs.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A clitosaurus.
What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
Toys for Twats.
What do you call two lesbians on their period?
Finger Painting.
Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
They don’t know how to handle wood.
What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
Single!
What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
A bush hog.
What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
Depends.
What kind of humor do lesbians like?
Tongue in cheek.
What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?
A weedeater.
The last 15 lesbian jokes
What did one lesbian say to another?
“Your face or mine?”
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can chew!
Why do lesbians shave there yum-yums?
So they don’t start a fire grinding.
Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
They always eat out.
Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
Someone has to mow the yard.
What is the definition of confusion?
3 blind lesbians in a fish market.
How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table has no balls.
What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A crack in the ceiling.
What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
If lesbians aren’t attracted to men, then why are they attracted to girls who behave like men.
Being a lesbian is ok, being bisexual is ok, being straight is ok, what’s not ok?
Wearing crocs!
How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
Both of them.
A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, “Why, it’s immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?”
The woman responds, “I have a woman in twice a week.”
If god hates lesbians why did he create them?
Gay Or Not, if a girl walks past another girl with a fat A$$ she’s going to turn around and look!
Did you likes these Leasbian jokes? Well, we have many other jokes in store for you. Head on to the froint page and select your favorite catagori. Have fun.
I’m not kitten telling you that these cat jokes are hilarious. Did you see what …
How do you get a Indian in a car:
Throw them a case of beer.
How do you get them out:
hand them a job application.
Brilliant read. Very rare nowadays as most people just write a quick article just to get more views. This one is different! Both informative and helpful. Thank you!
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Lesbians be like https://t.co/AvsZBRbYMZ
Someone: “What’s it like being in a lesbian relationship?” Me:
every time I see a gay girl in public I lean over to my girlfriend and whisper : ˡᵉˢᵇᶦᵃⁿ
ladies if she idly holds on to that clutch while driving but she’s got an automatic... she gay
It's 11:45pm: lesbian couples everywhere are leaving parties to lay in bed, bicker about watching Riverdale, then go to sleep w/o having sex
every lesbian on tv: “I have long, straight hair” many lesbians i know: “I have the number 3 shaved into my bangs, a small nape-of-the-neck ponytail, everything is bleached grey & i wear my armpit hair in braids.”
lesbians be like “sorry i ghosted you last week, i accidentally started dating my ex wife again... i think i love you though”
lesbian culture is complaining you don’t have a gf for years but also being too picky to get one
currently hanging out with a 15 year old boy and it terrifies me how much he has in common with me and all the other lesbians i know
every lesbian date is just this for 6+ hours.. nobody seals the deal, at the end of the night we hug for a long time and then never see each other again https://t.co/rGSWel3wm6
“why aren’t there more lesbians here” -me everywhere
Is She Gay or Just an Art Student: A Closer Look at the Lesbian Aesthetic
If she has really short nails, she could be: 1. A lesbian. 2. Anxious. 3. An anxious lesbian
Lesbians five minutes into watching a movie with a leading authoritative middle aged woman that has an already presenting damaged in-depth character background
Is it bad that whenever a lesbian couple gets engaged I just wanna know how long they’ve been together for? I feel like it’s either 3 months or 7 years and there’s no inbetween
Tinder for lesbians: 👩🏻 looking for a third for me and my bf 👩🏼 in an open relationship 👩🏿 just looking for friends 👩🏽 lives 97 miles away
she looks like an 18th century lesbian who dresses as a man to be with her lover and carries a sword with her.
one time i dated a boy https://t.co/SvTUzWlmk3
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Is this to make up for your shitty article about Arya?
Please tell me y’all watched the Rachel Weisz video? Seriously, scroll back up and watch it. Y’all can thank me later.
hello. unless your foot is a hand, you will not be 'hold[ing] on to that clutch'.

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