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Finding the perfect porn site can be tough, especially for women. Many of the mainstream porn sites feel geared towards men, which I'm reminded of every time I'm bombarded with sidebar ads offering to help me enlarge my non-existent penis. Every. Damn. Time. Not to mention that in many of the videos, women scream, squirm, and are totally dominated which is totally some people's thing, but it's not everyone's.
Luckily, there are some very talented directors out there who understand that. Erika Lust , the author and indie adult-film maker behind XConfessions and other cult favorites, is one of those directors. She makes porn with women in mind — and it shows.
"I keep in mind this strange thought that women are sexual beings and that female pleasure matters!," Lust tells Bustle. "Women also have pleasure watching people having sex. However, mainstream porn shows the female body as inherently subjugated and passive to men and male sexual desire, which in turn is depicted as the aggressive active counterpart. In this respect, both men and women are shortchanged and forced to contort themselves into a role that does not allow for self expression or any true emotion."
Her videos are amazing — and they've tapped into something that many women are missing from mainstream porn. "That is the reason why there are less female viewers in mainstream porn because women in general don't want to deal with porn that is constantly not only not taking care of their pleasure on the screen but completely neglecting it," Lust says. "My films represent people as subjects and they promotes role equality. Both female and male characters are human beings, not machines, and women have their own sex drive and desires and are not passive objects exclusively focused on pleasuring the men. It doesn't matter if the film contains BDSM elements, role-play, it's romantic or anything in between; what empowers women is to have a voice on the story and to seek their own pleasure. "
If you look around, there are actually a huge amount of amazing porn sites that are made by women, for women. Whether you're kinky, vanilla, a regular porn user, or just trying to figure out what all the fuss is about, there are places on the internet where you can watch porn and not feel flung into a masculine space. Here's what you should check out.
Cindy Gallop, the founder of MakeLoveNotPorn (NSFW) is one of the OGs of feminist porn. Dedicated to portraying a realistic view of sex and understanding how formative porn can be, this user-generated site shows real people having real sex. The authenticity of this model makes all the difference. In fact, they've even done some badass behind-the-scenes footage where you can get to know the people and see how normal they really are.
Erika Lust is a badass feminist porn director who turns sex scenes into works of art. You can check out Lust Cinema (NSFW) for a look at her top picks, but XConfessions (NSFW) is a truly special project. She took real people's fantasies and made them into porn films with an authentic flair. It's a total cult favorite.
She's a sex-positive artist whose porn focuses on female pleasure, so really, what's not to love? Petra Joy (NSFW) is making some great porn that is definitely female-friendly. "Since 2004 she has produced erotic films from a female perspective," her site explains. "Her alternative, feminist porn caused a stir in the media and won many awards. Petra is also a published author and curator of female-made porn. She hopes to make more dreams come true and inspire other women to realize theirs." Sounds good to me.
A totally female team making porn for women? I'm in. They label themselves the ' finest handmade erotica ' (NSFW) and say they're "all about 100 percent real girls experiencing 100 percent real intimate moments. This is porn…done differently!" A lot of the videos feature real couples and you can see behind-the-scenes interviews to get to know the women involved.
I can't get through a favorite porn list without mentioning CrashPadSeries (NSFW), the queer-friendly site from Pink And White Productions. The founder and director of Pink and White Productions, Shine Louise Houston, creates ethical, inclusive material that promote sexual health and equal pay — oh, and scenes that are sexy AF.
From erotica to hardcore, there are plenty of options available that are fun, ethical, and feminist. Get out there and start looking.
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Porn is something we all love, but the right porn that hits all of the sweet spots? That can be a bit hard to find.
As a connoisseur of online porn, I have to admit right here and now that it is still tough as heck in 2022 to find a website featuring hot, good porn that doesn’t overwhelmingly prioritize the male gaze or the male orgasm. Sure, you can wade through the various and sundry videos to find one where female pleasure and the female orgasm are the focus — but even then, there’s the distinct feeling that because of the way she’s being filmed and the way she’s encouraged to act and speak, there is still a man calling the shots. And underneath that a feeling that the porn you’re trying to enjoy isn’t for you .
So, where are the porn sites that cater to the female gaze, that honor female sexuality in all its beautiful forms and that don’t objectify women in a way that will have you ready to take a shower immediately after viewing? Where are the porn sites that feel current and up to date with what we want from sexual media today ? And where are the porn sites that don’t distract you from how good you want to feel?
Fear no more, friend, because I have found some legitimately great porn sites for you. If you’re tired of porn that feels overwhelmingly straight, cis-man-centric, you’ll be pleased by the following selection of sites. And while we’re at it, it’s probably a good time to treat yourself to some new sex toys too . Please take care, though and don’t browse this one at your desk — because you’ll be able to access some NSFW websites from here on out. Click with caution and, when it’s time for You-time , have fun!
A version of this story was published on April 2018.
Audioerotica stays a fave for erotic content in 2022 — and while it’s not “porn” it is something you can get off to knowing it’s made ethically and with your tastes in mind. Quinn , for example, is particularly cool with it’s super user-friendly interface, cast of sensual and totally dreamy voices and curated and inclusive playlists to hit all of your tastes.
Okay one more audio erotica, just for fun. Dipsea is yet another excellent introduction to how sexy and fun it can be to tune in and listen to some sexy voices. With its clean and beautiful interface, inclusive and diverse casting and thoughtful and consent-minded stories, you’ll love to plug in and enjoy pretty much everything in their library.
Particularly if you’re looking to get back in touch with your imagination rather than just be swept up in visuals, a Dipsea membership is totally worth it.
Imagine if Pornhub or RedTube became way, way more unapologetically female-friendly — that, dear friends, is Bellesa .
Billed as a "smart and sexy erotic destination for women, by women," Sssh.com allows you to access a variety of content, from videos to reading materials, that is geared toward women.
Lady Cheeky is a curated Tumblr spin-off rife with images and GIFs that range artfully sexual to more explicit.
Created by feminist adult filmmaker Erika Lust, XConfessions brings very real, very sexy stories submitted by various folks to life.
If you’re more stimulated by words than images (and maybe need a quieter porn session), head over to Literotica and let your imagination run wild thanks to the enticing stories submitted there.
Run by Lucie Blush, a feminist filmmaker and performer, Lucie Makes Porn is a site dedicated to bringing you porn through a uniquely feminist lens.
Part of Vivid Entertainment and run by sex educator and podcaster Tristan Taormino, Vivid-Ed lives up to its name, with articles, movies, photos and more to help you become your best sexual being.
Whether you are sure kinky sex acts are your vibe or you'd like to test the waters, Kink provides the videos you need to help get you where you want to go — sexually speaking, that is.
Dusk is a subscription-based site, but it offers a variety of educational articles as well as very sexy viewing materials for women.
If you’re the kind of person who enjoys spontaneity and the appeal of live cams, (plus the opportunity to filter for what you’re looking for), Cam4 might just be for you. Plus, they’re a site that takes the female orgasm seriously — having released a super thoughtful study on it in 2016.
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Porn is something we all love, but the right porn that hits all of the sweet spots? That can be a bit hard to find.
As a connoisseur of online porn, I have to admit right here and now that it is still tough as heck in 2022 to find a website featuring hot, good porn that doesn’t overwhelmingly prioritize the male gaze or the male orgasm. Sure, you can wade through the various and sundry videos to find one where female pleasure and the female orgasm are the focus — but even then, there’s the distinct feeling that because of the way she’s being filmed and the way she’s encouraged to act and speak, there is still a man calling the shots. And underneath that a feeling that the porn you’re trying to enjoy isn’t for you .
So, where are the porn sites that cater to the female gaze, that honor female sexuality in all its beautiful forms and that don’t objectify women in a way that will have you ready to take a shower immediately after viewing? Where are the porn sites that feel current and up to date with what we want from sexual media today ? And where are the porn sites that don’t distract you from how good you want to feel?
Fear no more, friend, because I have found some legitimately great porn sites for you. If you’re tired of porn that feels overwhelmingly straight, cis-man-centric, you’ll be pleased by the following selection of sites. And while we’re at it, it’s probably a good time to treat yourself to some new sex toys too . Please take care, though and don’t browse this one at your desk — because you’ll be able to access some NSFW websites from here on out. Click with caution and, when it’s time for You-time , have fun!
A version of this story was published on April 2018.
Audioerotica stays a fave for erotic content in 2022 — and while it’s not “porn” it is something you can get off to knowing it’s made ethically and with your tastes in mind. Quinn , for example, is particularly cool with it’s super user-friendly interface, cast of sensual and totally dreamy voices and curated and inclusive playlists to hit all of your tastes.
Okay one more audio erotica, just for fun. Dipsea is yet another excellent introduction to how sexy and fun it can be to tune in and listen to some sexy voices. With its clean and beautiful interface, inclusive and diverse casting and thoughtful and consent-minded stories, you’ll love to plug in and enjoy pretty much everything in their library.
Particularly if you’re looking to get back in touch with your imagination rather than just be swept up in visuals, a Dipsea membership is totally worth it.
Imagine if Pornhub or RedTube became way, way more unapologetically female-friendly — that, dear friends, is Bellesa .
Billed as a "smart and sexy erotic destination for women, by women," Sssh.co
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