Best Every Sex
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Best Every Sex
13 Ways to Have Better Sex, According to Science
Tell Her She Looks (and Tastes) Great
Don't Worry So Much; Intercourse Isn't Everything
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You can bottle up your sex-related questions or ask your idiot friends. Or, you can call up doctors and experts for sex advice on their one surefire trick in the bedroom. Listen and learn. (By the way, they go great with these sex positions .)
"If anybody trains you on a sport, they're going to train you first on your breathing. If you begin to work with your breath, just like you would in a yoga class , or if you're running, or doing anything physical where you coordinate your breath and your movement, all of a sudden you create a rhythm... Finding the rhythm of your own breath—not only through sex but all things—is going to improve your life, your endurance, and your ability to remain calm and not anxious."
— Kumi Sawyers, an instructor at Sky Ting Yoga in New York
There are few places where feedback can be more important than in the bedroom . Knowing what's working (or not) can lead to better, more rewarding sex. When done well, dirty talk can drive your partner crazy. When done poorly, it can drive them, well, home. Literally. Successful dirty talk isn't always about the actual words used, but more about connection and intention. This may seem obvious, but if you aren't sure what kind of dirty talk your partner likes or if they like dirty talk at all, ask them!
— From Giulia Rozzi's Guide to Dirty Talk
"I think it's important to cue up the videos in advance, to know what your favorites are, because this process is very drying. If you feel awkward in the moment, be like, 'Yo, I'm feeling hella awkward right now.' Because it can start with you guys making fun of it." And then, debrief on what you liked—and didn't like. That will transfer to the bedroom.
— Shan Boody , sexologist and author
According to not one but 34 sex therapists, the scientifically proven " desirable " length for intercourse is seven to 13 minutes. That's not including foreplay.
"It's been proven that women who feel confident about the appearance of their genitals are more open to different kinds of sexual activity, and are more likely to orgasm because they feel relaxed... When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic, tell her how beautiful she is and how great she tastes. Don't treat it like a chore."
—Debra Lynne Herbenick, Ph.D., Indiana University, Kinsey Institute
"There is a degree of manipulation when it comes to the amount of neurotransmitter released... Looking at a nude picture will trigger a quick and strong release of dopamine and possibly oxytocin, but it fades quickly... Let her work for it a little; she'll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more."
— Andrea Kuszewski, Behavior Therapist and Consultant, Boston, Massachusetts
"The only difference between a gigolo and a regular guy is that a gigolo listens to what a woman wants in bed. So, ask. I would also advise that you ask her while not in the bedroom—raise the discussion while out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together."
—Dr. Helen Fisher, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University
"Arginine is the basis for Viagra, so men should stick with foods high in it—such as oysters, fish, and other lean proteins. Everything that's good for you above the waist is good for you below the waist as well: greens and beans; high protein/low-fat foods; and brightly colored fruits and vegetables, high in antioxidants. The Standard American Diet is ... a detriment to performance."
— Lynn Edlen-Nezin, Ph.D, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex
"There's no proven human pheromone to make you irresistible. So, until one is found, wash well—you can have too much of a good thing. (But why not leave a worn T-shirt at her house? It will keep you always in her mind.)"
— Dr. Tristram Wyatt, Department of Zoology, University of Oxford
"If you're thinking, 'I hope it works! I hope it works!' it's not going to work. Take penetrative sex off the table for a month—do everything but that. Avoid making intercourse the be-all/end all. In most cases, once men stop worrying about it, it starts working. You can definitely stress yourself out of a boner."
— Emily Wentzell, Assistant Professor of Anthropology, University of Iowa
"For women to get aroused, parts of their brains associated with stress and anxiety need to de-activate, according to neurological studies in the Netherlands. If women aren't relaxed, they're not going to enjoy sex. So dim the lights and share a fantasy. A Harvard study found that when you hug a woman longer than 30 seconds, it increases her oxytocin levels and anticipation of sex."
—Ian Kerner, Ph.D, FAACS, author of She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
"Find out what position of intercourse is most stimulating to her—it's usually woman on top, facing away, also known as the reverse cowgirl. The angle of the penis through the anterior/front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-spot."
— Beverly Whipple, Ph.D, Professor Emerita at Rutgers University and co-author of The Science of Orgasm
"Sensual touching releases a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin, which increases a woman's testosterone levels and ignites her sex drive. The seductive silky feel of oil being rubbed on skin is a turn-on for more passionate sex—for both of you."
—Carol Cassell, Ph.D, former president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Western Region
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If you suddenly have an itch to try some new sex positions, we're not surprised. When we recently surveyed 1,229 American men about their sex lives , a third of respondents said they're feeling more sexually experimental now than before the pandemic began.
According to Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., Kinsey Institute researcher and member of the Men's Health Advisory Panel, stress could have something to do with the widespread craving for sexual novelty. "When we're stressed, it’s often harder to feel desire or to stay in the moment, because our mind is distracted and wandering,” Lehmiller says. “Trying something new can create this immersive experience that lets us be in the moment and raises sexual arousal.”
A fun, new sex position is an easy way to immerse yourself in a sexual experience. Take a much-needed break from stressing about work or the state of the world by attempting something adventurous in the bedroom, like the many sex positions you'll find on this list. (Don't worry, we also included fan favorites like missionary , cowgirl , spooning , and doggy style .)
Which position(s) should you try first? Start by asking yourself what you're hoping to achieve by changing up your usual routine. This will guide how you approach this list of 50 sex positions, explains Ian Kerner , Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of She Comes First and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex .
If your partner has a vulva and you’re looking for positions to help them orgasm, then you want to look for sex positions where you can manually stimulate your partner’s clitoris during penetration. “Most [vulva owners] are not going to be able to get highly aroused or have an orgasm unless there's some kind of clitoral stimulation happening,” Kerner says.
Or perhaps you want to explore elements of BDSM (an umbrella term encompassing Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) with new sex positions. “Some of these positions are great for power play, where you can feel dominant or submissive,” Kerner says.
Some of these sex positions are fun to try for novelty's sake, but not necessarily ideal from start to finish. “You will likely want to mix and match positions,” Kerner says. “You can start in some of the more adventurous and highly athletic positions, but then transition into a less demanding position, where you can fully relax and feel present in the sex you’re having.”
If a sex position feels uncomfortable, don't overdo it. This isn’t a “push through the pain” situation. Just switch to something else! There are plenty of positions here to choose from.
Benefits: You can enjoy the view of your penis thrusting.
Technique: Stand at the edge of a bed or desk while your partner lies back and raises their legs to their chest. Their knees are bent as if they're doing a "bicycling" exercise. Grab their ankles and enter them. Thrust slowly, as the deep penetration may be painful for them.
Also try: Have your partner place their heels on your shoulders, which will open their hips so their labia press against you.
Hot tip: Encourage your partner to play with their clitoris manually. Also, show them that they can control your penetration by flexing their thighs.
Benefits: Allows for face-to-face intimacy; cozy for long sessions.
Technique: Sit on a chair or the edge of the bed. Your partner then faces you, wraps their arms around your back, climbs on top, and sits on your lap. Once in the saddle, they can ride up and down on your penis by pressing with their legs or knees. Want to go faster? Assist by grabbing their buttocks and lifting and bouncing.
Also try: Your mate can sit astride facing you on a rocking chair. Old wooden rockers on hardwood or stone floors provide the greatest variety of good vibes.
Hot tip: There's lots of room for creativity in this position for stimulating erogenous areas of the upper body, head, neck, and face. If they like to have their nipples licked, go for it!
Benefits: Great for G-spot stimulation .
Technique: The penetrating partner lies on their back. The receiver can straddle them in a reverse cowgirl position before carefully leaning backward until their back is on their partner's chest.
Hot tip: The penetrating partner can reach around and play with the receiver's nipples or clitoris. (The receiver can also use a vibrator in this position.)
Benefits: “This looks like it's a nice position to fantasize a little and get a new view of your partner’s behind,” says Kerner. “It's a chance to get absorbed in the sensations.”
Technique : From reverse cowgirl, have them bend all the way forward, extending their legs all the way back. They should be supporting their body by resting on their elbows, as if they were holding a plank.
Hot tip : Your partner can easily stimulate their own clitoris while you penetrate them. If the two of you are into spanking , go for it.
Benefits: Ideal for vaginal and anal penetration. If the receiver has a vulva, this one's great for G-spot stimulation. And it's comfortable option if the receiver experiences lower back pain.
Technique: The receiver assumes the happy baby pose, a popular yoga position where you lie on your back, bend your knees into your chest, grip the outer edges of your feet, and roll side to side like, well, a happy baby. In this case, instead of rolling around, the receiver stays put so the penetrating partner can enter them from a kneeling position.
Also try: Tweaking your angles by sliding a sex pillow underneath the receiving partner's hips.
Benefits: Ideal position for all things cunnilingus: clit sucking, rubbing, digital penetration, G-spot stimulation.
Technique: While on your knees have your partner stand up-right. They should then drape one of their legs around your shoulder while you eat them out.
Hot tip: Ideally you want your partner's hands above your head. This can be accomplished through the use of some BDSM restraints . If restraints aren’t their thing, see if you can find an anchored bar or beam for them to grasp.
Benefits: “A great position that allows for clitoral stimulation with both your mouth and fingers,” says Kerner.
Technique: FYI, the partner on top will have sore triceps once you both finish. For the Little Dipper, the person on top uses either a bed, couch, or chair to hoist themselves over their partner. The person on bottom then inserts his penis into the top’s vagina or anus. The top then does tricep dips to move up and down on their partner’s penis. If done correctly, you should be in a T-shape formation.
Hot tip : Play with the top’s penis or clitoris for extra stimulation.
Technique: “This just looks impossible to me,” says Kerner. “But if you’re able to do it, go for it. I think it’s just a victory in being able to pull this position off.”
Hot tip : You may need to help out your by thrusting your pelvis up, so their mouth can actually reach your genitals.
Benefits: Strong clitoral stimulation. In a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy , women who were unable to have an orgasm in the missionary position reported a 56 percent increase in orgasm frequency using the coital alignment technique. Other studies suggest even greater success, with up to 73 percent of women achieving orgasm with CAT.
Technique: The CAT is very similar to the missionary position except your body is positioned farther up and to one side. Instead of being chest to chest, your chest is near your partner's shoulders. Have them bend their legs about 45 degrees to tilt their hips up. This causes the base of your shaft to maintain constant contact with the clitoris.
Also try: Ask your partner to straighten their legs. Push your pelvis down a few inches while they push up.
Hot tip: Instead of thrusting up and down, rock forward and back to (hopefully) provide enough stimulation for your partner to orgasm. Make this position even better by grinding your pelvis in a circular motion.
Benefits: Deep penetration, G-spot stimulation, and access to the clitoris.
Technique: The receiver lies on their back and raises their legs in the air. Kneeling, the penetrating partner holds their ankles and spreads their legs into a V shape before entering them.
Also try: Making sure the receiver stretches their hamstrings first.
Hot tip: Since the penetrating partner's hands are busy holding the receiver's legs in place, the receiver should hold the vibrator if they want to add some clit stimulation to this position.
Benefits: The blood will rush to your other head too.
Technique: Move to the edge of the bed and lie back with your head and shoulders on the floor as your partner straddles you. The blood will rush to your head creating mind-blowing sensations upon orgasm.
Also known as: Over Your Shoulder, The Hamstring Stretch
Benefits: This is the best sex position for people who are particularly sensitive along one side of the clitoris.
Technique: Kneel on the floor with your mate lying on the edge of the bed. Raise one of their legs and ask them to support it by wrapping their hands around their hamstring just below the knee. With one hip raised, your partner will be able to add some movement to aid in your stroking or to help move you to the perfect spot.
Also try: Encourage your partner to wriggle a little to help you get the rhythm right.
Hot tip: During oral sex, allow the knuckle of your finger to trail behind your tongue. The contrast between soft flesh of the tongue and hard bone of the finger will create a pleasing sensation. (For more oral pleasure positions, check out Your Ultimate Guide to Oral Sex. )
Hot tip for her: Your partner can let you know the tongue pressure and technique they prefer by demonstrating with their mouth on your earlobe.
Benefits: “There's going to be G-spot stimulation, clitoral stimulation, and cervical stimulation,” says Kerner. “It’s a nice position for the person on top to really control their orgasm. It also gives you a great view of everything that’s happening.”
Technique: Cowgirl is one of the best sex positions because it allows for a variety of interesting sights and sensations, and offers your partner the psychological advantage of taking charge of pace and depth of penetration. Alternate between shallow and deep thrusts. "Shallow will stimulate the front third of the vagina, which is the most sensitive," says sex therapist Rebecca Rosenblat, author of Seducing Your Man .
Also try: Lie chest to chest, with your partner stretching their legs out on top of your legs. Your partner should brace their feet on the tops of yours and push off to create a rocking motion that will rub the vulva and clitoral area against your pubic bone for greater pleasure.
Hot tip: It will be easier for your partner to climax if you stimulate them manually and orally until they're extremely aroused. From the cowgirl position, have them squat over your face so you can pull off some oral stimulation.
Also known as: The Love Seat, The Man Chair
Technique: Sit on the edge of the bed or on a chair with your feet on the floor. Your mate turns away and backs up onto you, sitting between your legs. They can ride back and forth by pushing off the chair arms or pressing up with their feet. They can control the angle of entry by arching their back and pressing their buttocks into your groin. While doggy style is about your dominance, The Hot Seat puts your partner in the driver's seat. And that makes it one of the best sex positions for both of you.
Also try: Your partner can reach under and stimulate the base of your penis, scrotum, and perineum. Meanwhile, you can reach around and stimulate their nipples.
Technique: This is a variation on the Hot Seat with your partner sitting in your lap, but this time planting yourselves on top of a washing machine set at the highest agitator cycle.
Benefits: Good hand holds for your partner, and you don't have to wait until reaching the bedroom.
Technique: This is a variation on the Hot Seat with your partner sitting on top of you while you sit on one of the stairs of a staircase. Stairs offer good seating possibilities, and a hand rail for extra support and lifting leverage for them.
Also known as: Rodeo Drive, Half Way Around the World
Benefits: With a pillow under your head, you get an awesome view of your mate's backside. They can control depth of penetration and pace with this sex position.
Technique: Lie on your back with your legs outstretched. Your partner kneels next to you, then turns and spreads their legs, straddling your hips and facing your feet. Kneeling, your partner lowers down onto your penis and begins riding you.
Also try: Have your partner lean forward or back to change the angle of the penis for greater stimulation.
Hot tip for her: From this position, your partner can easily reach down to touch themselves or direct your penis to where it feels best.
Benefits: Dual stimulation for your partner; for you—a great view of their rear and your penis entering them.
Technique: Lie on your back and bend one of your legs, keeping the other outstretched. Your partner straddles the raised leg with a thigh on either side and lowers themselves onto your member so that their ba
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