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To the striking woman with shoulder-length hair, wearing a red-pink top… To the slim man with a backpack who stopped and commented on my looks at…
They were even both wearing caps and horn-rimmed glasses.
Movies like this just don't come around anymore - you've got to catch it on the big screen!
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Evidently, the owners couldn't find it in themselves to go all the way up to the door.

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Bent, curved, thick, slim, big head, small head, circumcised or not circumcised — when it comes to penises, there’s plenty of variety to be enjoyed.
And that’s without even touching on balls, shades and veins.
The saying goes, it’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.
Now, while I appreciate phalluses of all kinds, let’s be honest, some are more favourable than others.
You’ll struggle to find a woman declaring her love for the micro-penis .
In a recent study by Body Logic MD , it was revealed that 40% of the women surveyed preferred the ‘bender’, which tilts upwards and hits the sweet spot.
Runner-up was the ‘curve’, which is similar but with a less dramatic curvature, and it can go right, left, up or down.
The ‘chode’ — an overtly plump but short cock — wasn’t mentioned, but deserves a shout-out, too. It might not always reach the deep dark depths, but it’s a filler.
What makes an exceptionally good dick? To find out, I asked 20 women to share their preferences for the perfect penis.
It seems one size does not fit all.
Nothing too veiny or threatening. Some penises just sort of angrily stare at you.
A medium size is always good, pink and plush.
Dicks without a foreskin are nice, because they look much neater.
Some foreskin appears a bit saggy and sad. Girth is more important than length — about the thickness of a deodorant can.
And yes, I was in Boots checking out sizes as I thought about this.
I love an angry cock too, you know, all twitchy and veiny.
I had a bender once and it could touch corners that no-one had reached before.
It also went down my throat at the perfect angle.
I really dislike circumcised men, because I can’t cope with the actual penis.
With a foreskin, I know what I’m doing.
Otherwise, I’m not too picky, but no-one likes a really bendy one, do they?
Recently, I experienced a very girthy straight cock.
When I say girthy, I mean girthy; the same sort of circumference as a standard-sized coke can.
It was most delicious. Girth is where it’s at.
Doesn’t matter what it’s like, as long as it does the job right.
Although, I’m personally not into the chode and a bender can help hit the right spot.
I don’t really have a type, but I like ones that get really big and hard, although aren’t necessarily big when not erect.
Not a fan of circumcised penises though.
I feel like I’ve been able to work around all the dicks I’ve had.
Taking a really big cock can make things a little slower, so I tend to prefer ones that are slightly shorter and more versatile.
If I had to pick between girth and length, it’d be girth.
Although, my ex had a thick cock and it meant we weren’t able to have spontaneous sex, unless there was lube about.
I prefer a penis that still has its foreskin, but for functional reasons, rather than aesthetic.
And I love a thick vein down the shaft, so you can see it’s really hard. Not sure why else I’d enjoy a veiny presence.
Hair is OK on the balls and pubic area, but never on the actual cock.
The style of penis I prefer is any size or shape, wielded by a confident, enthusiastic partner who is interested in my pleasure, as well as their own.
I like a thick cock, veiny and firm.
And, I hate baggy foreskins, they make cocks look smaller. I don’t mind a curve and it doesn’t have to be long, but thick and proud is perfect.
A smooth solid penis is preferable, especially as I enjoy giving head and it’s nicer to do with a pretty penis.
As for intercourse, a slight bend is good but large isn’t necessarily better.
Too much length or girth is more hassle than it’s worth.
If my fingers touch when wrapped around his member, he’d better have a few tricks up his sleeve.
I like below-average in length and don’t care about the rest at all.
In my opinion, it’s more about technique than size and shape, but long ones are incredibly painful and not pleasurable in the slightest.
I’ve dumped guys for big penises, I’m not about that life.
Non-circumcised with a slight bend and proportionate length.
Think of my penis choice as the Beast from the East: a bit rough around the edges.
I never thought that I would have a preference, but recently I hooked up with someone who still had his skin and it was just odd.
Everything from how it looked when semi-hard to ‘oh my, what am I meant to be doing with this’ during the blowjob.
Generally though, you just work with what’s in front of you, right?
Just because you prefer one thing, it doesn’t mean that another will be bad.
Certain positions become uncomfortable with larger penises and things need to go more gently, which isn’t my preference.
As long as it does the job, I’m happy.
Genitals are pretty ugly anyway, but I’d rather have one that was evenly sized.
Not too aggressive or bright purple.
I prefer average or less, I find longer ones to be painful.
And, I also really like a big head.
However, there are many exceptions. It’s more about the person, their technique and openness to try new things.
Bigger and thicker than average, and not circumcised.
As long as it stays hard and tastes clean.

Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Fifty Shades of Dick : The Best Crotch Shots in Mainstream Film
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Bella Hadid in 'Ramy'
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Jennette McCurdy
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Bella Hadid in 'Ramy'
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Jennette McCurdy
The sad news that Fifty Shades of Grey will not feature any full-frontal has left many of us devastated. Fear not, however! Jezebel is here to pick up the rubble and distract you with the 50 best (theme, you see?) peens you can see on-screen. Trust us, these pictures will make your mood rise.
As a former video store clerk (with the smug, "unimpressed by your choices" attitude many have come to love and expect from people working minimum-wage jobs that others aren't cool enough for), I have a great fondness for letting people know all about the accidental and not-so-accidental genitals they may see in a movie of their choice. I was never shy about letting customers know if the movie they were renting had an excellent dick shot of a beloved celebrity or an especially good butt scene. I used to do that with porn, too, but stopped after I noticed that one of my customers became visibly agitated when I started talking about how awesome the camera work was in Trunks 2, an excellent pornographic feature all about dudes who love other dudes who love speedos and also taking them off and fucking butts that have just been in speedos.
This is a compendium of the most important bulges and full-frontal peen that one can see in films that are available on Netflix and at their local Redbox. Some I knew, some my Jezebel colleagues helped me with, and some were complete and delightful surprises.
The biggest surprise was that this took me more than four hours to put together.
Please note that the following are not in particular order (except number one, which is self-explanatory), but the photos do tend to get a little more hot the further down you go. Isn't that always the way?
Unfold your phone's potential The Z Fold4 is Samsung’s premiere Galaxy smartphone, featuring a 6.2" cover screen that unfolds to a wide 7.6" display on the inside as well as an under-display camera. Ordering one today will grant you $150 in Samsung credit to be put toward additional accessories.
46. Llan Mitchell-Smith, Weird Science
39. Steven Weber, Single White Female
34. These Unhappy Strippers, Magic Mike
33. Mark Wahlberg's Prosthesis, Boogie Nights
31. That One Football Player, Any Given Sunday
29. A Whole Nude Beach of Dick, Euro Trip
25. Some Random Dude All Up In John C. Reilly's Face Tyler Nilson , Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
24. Giant Dangling Penis, Hall Pass
22. Viggo Mortensen, The Indian Runner
21. Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike
13. Edward Norton, American History X
12. Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
11. Whoever This Gentleman Is, Goltzius and the Pelican Company
1. Marco Dapper , Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds ( Call me, Marco! Also: You can see more of his work here .)
Did I miss anything important? Please post photos in the comments.
Image credits in text, top illustration by Jim Cooke.

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