Best Deepthroat Position
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Best Deepthroat Position
InStyle is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family.
Dr. Jenn Mann is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the relationship expert behind InStyle's long-running weekly column, Hump Day. She is best known for her hit VH1 show, "Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn," and her popular call-in advice Sirius XM radio show, "The Dr. Jenn Show." She is a bestselling author, most recently of The Relationship Fix .
I enjoy giving my boyfriend head. And not to brag, but I think I'm pretty decent at it. Recently though, he has hinted that he wants me to try deep-throating. In the porn I've watched it looks pretty intense — and I'm worried about my gag reflex. Any tips for how to deep throat for a first-timer? — The Shallow
I respect your willingness to swallow your pride, so to speak, and come at this with an open mind (and gullet). As you seem to already know, the gag reflex tends to be the biggest inhibitor of the deep throat technique.
Also known as the pharyngeal reflex or laryngeal spasm, the gag reflex is the contraction of the back of the throat that occurs when triggered by an object touching the roof of the mouth, back of the tongue, tonsil area, or the back of the throat. It is meant to prevent things from going down your throat that aren't supposed to be there, and to stop you from choking. The unfortunate truth is that our throats are not designed to swallow dicks! That said, some people have it easier than others in this category. Studies show that 37% of people do not have a gag reflex . On the other end of the spectrum, 10 to 15% of people have a hypersensitive gag reflex (HGR). Regardless of where you fall, you can learn how to deep throat if you care to. Consider these tips and then dive right in.
There are throat training exercises you can do to help desensitize your gag reflex. Keep in mind, this training must take place over time in order to be effective. Pick a phallic-shaped object, starting with something small like a toothbrush or your finger, and slowly move the object toward the back of your throat. When you feel yourself starting to gag, stop and try to relax while taking deep breaths in order to suppress your gag reflex. Try to hold it there for 10 Mississippis.
The more you practice this, the sooner you will see improvements. Once you are able to hold it there for the full 10 seconds, experiment with moving the object in and out slowly. This may stimulate your gag reflex even more. Make sure to keep breathing. Once you have conquered this with a small object, work your way up to a dildo. Hot tip: Do not practice this with a banana. It could break off into your throat and cause you to choke, which would be a very embarrassing way to go.
Positions that create a straight line from the mouth to the throat, allowing the penis to go there, are ideal. There are a few positions that are particularly good for this type of sword swallowing endeavor.
Whatever position you try, one of the most important things is that you are able to feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed with your partner. Feeling pressured or scared, besides creating a very negative experience for you, will lead to you tensing up the muscles in your jaw and your throat, which makes it less likely that you will get the results you were hoping for. Coming up with a signal that lets your partner know to stop is of the utmost importance, as is open communication any time sexual experimentation is going down.
When it comes to deep throating, creating optimal breathing opportunities and using breath to help you to relax are important ingredients for success. Stuffed up with a head cold? Wait until your sinuses are cleared out, then try.
Try experimenting with your breathing. Inhale as you slide him out, using that moment to take a breath. Try the reverse as well, inhale as he is going in and exhale as he is going out. Many experts recommend sticking your tongue out or flattening it in order to allow the penis to slide further down the throat. Keep in mind that this leaves your soft palate exposed and available to poking and prodding which is likely to trigger that gag reflex.
Go in hydrated like you are about to run a marathon. Dehydration is your enemy. You need saliva to do a good job. Putting some lube on your lips or on him can allow your mouth to go up and down smoothly which helps the whole process. If you are able to bring his penis into your mouth far enough, the back of your throat will begin to lubricate with a thick saliva.
There are many different tricks that are recommended to enhance your deep throat technique. They range from old wives' tales to more scientifically-based recommendations.
In order to feel safe and have a great experience, talk it out first. And make an ejaculation plan in advance. Are you comfortable swallowing? How do you want to be warned that he is about to cum — and where do you want it to go? Most importantly, like any sex act, this should be about wanting it. You should never feel pressured or coerced. With that? You're far from the shallow now.
In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann answers your sex and relationship questions — unjudged and unfiltered.
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For some people, receiving and performing oral sex in any form — cunnilingus, fellatio, or anilingus — is irresistible. It's intimate, it's hot, and it offers some (especially people with clitorises) a quicker path to orgasm . Not to mention, the tongue is an incredibly powerful muscle, capable of intensely stimulating some of the body's most sensitive parts . The catch? So many default oral-sex positions can feel uncomfortable to be in for long periods of time. A little dramatic, sure, but have you tried 69ing as the partner on top? It's a lot of work! Lesser-known comfortable oral-sex positions do, in fact, exist to allow both you and your partner to feel supported and free to soak in every satisfying bodily sensation instead of worrying you'll crush your partner if your arms give out.
Before you worry that "comfortable" is synonymous with "vanilla," rest assured the oral-sex positions below are as hot and fun as they are easy on your body. Plus, if you're a little less focused on sex gymnastics and more focused on feeling stimulated, it's likely you'll reach orgasm quicker than you think — not to mention, you'll have more energy to keep sexy time going even longer.
So let's start with blowjob -specific sex positions. Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist for sex toy retailer Good Vibrations , says that blowjobs aren't normally comfortable because of the way a penis naturally curves. "Most penises have some degree of curve to them, and often the positions we choose — or just wind up in, TBH — have the penis curving one way, and the curve of our mouth cavity and throat going the other." (This is the reason why kneeling in front of your partner doesn't always work.) Instead, Queen suggests getting into positions where the penis follows "the curvature of your mouth," which will allow you to enjoy blowjobs more and stay more comfortable as you give them.
See below for two A+ specific blowjob sex positions that are both comfortable and fun. (FTR, they can be used for cunnilingus or anilingus, too.) Then keep reading for more oral-sex positions you can use, no matter your partner's genitalia.
In the typical 69 sex position , one partner lies on their back while the other partner hovers over them with their body facing the opposite way. This may work for short stints, but if you say your arms never get tired from supporting yourself, you're probably lying. The sideways 69 sex position, however, offers both parties all the good parts of 69ing, minus the strain. For this oral-sex position, both partners face each other and lie on their sides, with one partner's head in line with the other's genitals and vice versa. From here, both partners can go down on each other simultaneously. For blowjobs specifically, this is a position Queen recommends since your mouth will likely be aligned with the curve of your partner's penis.
This is another blowjob-specific sex position that's both comfy and kinky. Similarly to 69 and sideways 69, the receiver lies face-up, while the other partner kneels over the receiver with their butt in the direction of the receiver's face, says Queen. You can do this with both your legs on one side of their body or fully straddling them. Queen says, "from that position, the penis (most commonly) curves in the same direction as your throat, which is easier to maneuver, even if you are not trying to deep-throat them."
Use the edge of the bed or a comfy chair to your advantage: Have oral sex while sitting down. For this oral-sex position, the receiver should sit as far to the edge of a comfortable surface as they can, and the giver will perform oral while sitting or kneeling in front of them, using their partner's hips as an anchor if necessary. This position allows the receiving partner to maintain full support of their body, and it allows the partner performing oral to spread their body weight across their legs instead of just their knees.
A classic oral-sex position you can't go wrong with is one in which the receiver lies on their back while the giver lies on their stomach with their head at their partner's pelvis. For added leverage, the giver can wrap their arms around their partner's upper thighs. For added stimulation, the giver can use a free hand to finger their partner, massage their balls, or tease their nipples. Regardless, both partners' bodies are fully supported on the bed at all times.
The Kivin method , or sideways oral, is one of the more underrated oral-sex positions, in my opinion. Not to be confused with sideways 69, the Kivin method involves the receiver lying on their back, bending one leg at the knee and bringing it up toward them. The giver lies perpendicular to their partner, placing their neck under their partner's raised leg and their head at their partner's genitals. Given the angle, this position gives way for even more stimulation and pleasure for clitoris owners.
In this oral-sex position, both partners lie on their stomachs. The giving partner will lay with their head between their partner's legs at their pelvis. This is a solid position for anilingus, but for a slightly better angle — especially if the receiving partner has a vulva and clitoris — slide a pillow underneath the receiving partner's pelvis to elevate it and allow the giver an easier reach.
Sitting on someone's face sounds incredibly hot at face value (ha), but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a slight fear of suffocating my partner if my legs get uncomfortable or vice versa. Modified face sitting is a slightly easier solution. For this, the giving partner should lie on their back, with their upper body propped up at an angle using a couple of pillows. The receiving partner should then comfortably mount their partner's face, using the bed frame or wall in front of them as a balance. This should, ideally, require less effort on both the giver and receiver's part.
Standing sex positions can easily be adapted for oral sex in a way that doesn't involve one partner digging their knees into the hard ground. Instead, especially if you have a mattress that's lower to the ground, try what I call the T stand, an oral-sex position in which you and your partner will form a sideways capital T. The giver should lie on their back with their head at the very end of the bed's corner, while the receiver faces the bed and stands over their partner's head. From this position, the receiver can easily lean over and tease and pleasure their partner during sex.
— Additional Reporting by Taylor Andrews
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Last Updated: February 8, 2021 Bella Pope
What every man needs before committing to a relationship
Sex is all about giving. It’s a two-way street, really. And that means if you want your man to do a little something for you, you’ll want to get great at giving head and learn how to deep throat.
One of the best ways you can make a blowjob feel amazing is to deep throat. The thing with this is that it’s not always easy for us ladies. The whole gag reflex thing can really put a damper on an otherwise fun and pleasurable thing for our men.
But you can learn how to deep throat without gagging. If you’re willing to work for it, your man will thank you in all the ways you desire.
The idea behind deep throating is to give your man a blowjob and then take him as far as you can into your mouth and the back of your throat. The sensation of this is unique to a man and it often feels better than almost anything else you can do.
That’s why it’s so popular. Whenever a guy wants a blowjob, they’ll always want you to deep throat him if you can.
The only hang-up with this is that if you’re a woman with a sensitive gag reflex or a well-endowed man, it’s always harder. It’s not fun for you if you’re constantly gagging on him.
And if it’s not fun for you, it’ll be less pleasurable for him.
Some people might not even think deep throating is worth it. Those people have clearly never seen the immense joy a man gets out of it.
Learning how to deep throat without gagging can help you connect more to your partner and spice up your sex life . It’s an act of selfless pleasure you can give to him.
Not only will he be really appreciative of it, but he’ll be down to reciprocate – excuse the pun.
Ultimately, it’s about give-and-take. Being selfless and giving toward your partner is a way to help the relationship last. The more you’re willing to give, the better your relationship will be.
It’ll take some time but it’ll be worth it in the end. Here’s how you can learn how to deep throat without gagging in order to give your man the best blow job he’s ever had.
One of the main reasons women struggle with deep throating is because they expect that it won’t be fun. They go into it with the mindset of gagging and being miserable.
So, of course, it isn’t fun when they go to do it. Yo
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