Best Blow Job

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You're about to get an A+ on this assignment.
Confession: I love giving a partner a good blow job.
I know some women hate performing oral sex on a guy, and I get it—having someone's junk thrusting inside your mouth (and ugh, the annoying head push!) isn't everyone's idea of fun. But to me, there's nothing more empowering and exciting than to have full control of over a penis—and by effect, the man attached to it.
"Men love blow jobs because the act feels like sex, but it's a very different experience—they get to relax and receive and just enjoy what's happening in front of them," says Vanessa Marin, a certified sex therapist in L.A. (who makes me feel a lot less anti-feminist, I must say).
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"The visual element of watching their penis slip in and out of a mouth gets a lot of guys going."
"The visual element of watching their penis slip in and out of a mouth gets a lot of guys going," she adds. Not to mention, unlike a hand job or even penetrative sex, men can't replicate the sensation of a blow job on their own (obviously). Your mouth is wet and warm, like a vagina (or a lubed-up hand), but your lips and tongue are living, roving, irreplaceable works of art.
But like with any sex act, enjoying the experience yourself (which, if you're going to do it, you absolutely should) typically comes from having some level of confidence in yourself—and that comes from knowing what you're doing.
So here's how to give the best blow job he'll ever have (I swear)—and making it more pleasurable for yourself in the process:
By far the number one rule for giving good head is acting like you want to be giving head.
"The biggest complaint I hear from male clients about blow jobs has nothing to do with technique and everything to do with their partner's enthusiasm about it," Marin says. "Men will have a great time if they know their partner is enjoying it." (Aww.)
That's not to say you should pretend you like doing something in the bedroom if you straight-up don't. (On that vein, never do something you're not comfortable with a sexual partner.) But if you're going to consider going down a guy—which, if you're reading this article, it seems that you are—the best thing you can bring to the BJ party is a good attitude.
A few ways to show your enthusiasm:
A blow job might count as oral sex, but that doesn't mean your mouth has to do all the work. "I like to think of the mouth as providing wetness and your hands as providing tightness," says Marin.
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If your jaw starts to feel sore or tired a few minutes into the job, you're likely suctioning too hard with your mouth. So shift some of the work to your hands, counting on them for pressure.
Here's your basic stroke once you've warmed up a bit:
If he's well-endowed (go, girl), you can keep your mouth in one place and move your wet hand up and down separately.
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Then from there, you can mix up your hand technique a bit. Try the Wrist Twist: With your mouth on his penis (this is still oral sex), rotate your firm wrist in clockwise circles as you move your hand up and down.
Bring your other hand into the game once you've gotten your bearings. The best placement? Use it to cup and gently squeeze his balls.
During one of the first blow jobs I ever gave (to a guy I'd been dating for five months, so we were super comfortable with each other), my partner told me to spit on him. It freaked me out for a sec—I remember wondering if spitting was some weird fetish—but then realized he just liked it extra wet.
While every man is definitely different and has his own personal preferences, I've found that most agree that a good blow job requires a lot of saliva. You don't want to go overboard to the point that your hand is slipping all over the place, but try to do some **sexy** spitting (read: make it subtle) whenever his penis starts to feel a little dry.
On that note, keep a glass of water nearby to prevent dry mouth—you'll need it.
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When you're blowing him, your tongue provides the warmth, texture, and wetness that he can't get elsewhere.
To maximize its sensation, Marin suggests keeping your tongue soft in your mouth when you're moving up and down (the majority of your blow job), then using the tip of your tongue to trace the head and frenulum—the underside where the penis head (if circumcised) meets the shaft.
Those two areas, especially the frenulum, are packed with nerve endings, so he'll go crazy.
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You can also use the flat side of your tongue to lick from the bottom of his shaft to the very tip and down again, or throw in a few tongue flicks. These are more like little garnishes to sprinkle in—and tbh, a little porn-esque, so call on your inner kink.
At some point during my writing career in women's magazines, I picked up a tip from a sexpert (I wish I could remember who!) that has become my trusty signature move. (I almost hate sharing it, but in the name of better blow jobs for all...)
As you suck on him, try to keep your lips in a slightly fish-face position—pretend you're about to say "purple." The word naturally contorts your lips into the perfect head-giving pout: They're slightly curled and pillowy, which makes them feel wetter and creates ideal suction.
Deep throating—where you take his member so far into your mouth, it's in your throat—is definitely an advanced skill. For two words: gag reflex.
Some women's gag reflex is more easily activated than others, but if you're able to train it—I did by practicing on, no joke, frozen ice pops—you can surprise (and by that, I mean SHOCK) your partner with moments of deep throating.
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Not only does deep throating feel amazing to them (your throat is obviously tighter than their mouth), but guys also love seeing their entire length somehow fit inside your mouth. (Back to that visual thing that Marin talked about.)
A word of caution: Ease into this, and only when you can breathe well through your nose. No penis is worth choking over.
Not all guys like to have their backside touched at all. But some all-caps love it.
If you're into the idea, Marin suggests asking your partner if he likes having a finger in or around his butt, or if he's ever had anyone try. You'll be able to gauge if he's down to experiment, really wants it, or is hands-down against it. (No judgment either way.)
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If you're both game, move a finger or two toward his perineum (or "taint")—the area between his scrotum and anus—and go from there. The prostate lies right under the perineum and is known to be the "male G-spot."
"The holy trifecta of oral sex is mouth on head, hand on shaft, hand on balls," says Marin. "The holy quad would bring the butt into it."
So there you have it—all the tips you need to give a really, REALLY good blow job. Go try them on your partner and wear your invisible crown with pride. You earned it.
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