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Gary Dell’Abate, Beetlejuice, Gary the Conqueror, and Nicole Bass
Photo: The Howard Stern Show



Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, Crackhead Bob, and Nicole Bass
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

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There was a ton to talk about on Monday morning with Howard back on the air but most fresh on his mind was Sunday night’s Academy Awards .
“I thought Jimmy [Kimmel] did a great job,” he said of his
friend who hosted the Oscars ceremony.
“He did an excellent job,” Robin agreed.
One thing they also agreed upon: the most intriguing part of
the night had to be the Best Picture mix-up.
“Like the Super Bowl, you’ve got to wait to the end to watch
these events,” Howard noted. “You never know what’s going to happen.”
“Because the best part could be the ending,” Robin added.
King of All Blacks was also watching the 89th Academy Awards
closely. He called in to share all of his observations and opinions about this
year’s red carpet fashion statements, including his take on the differences between what black celebrities and white celebrities wore to the prestigious event.
It
is with heavy hearts that the Stern Show bid farewell to Nicole Bass, a veteran
member of the Wack Pack, on Monday morning. Nicole passed away at the age of 52
after reportedly suffering a heart attack on Feb. 12. She was brought to the
hospital unconscious and kept on life support for five days, but never woke up.
“I will miss Nicole,” Howard said. “The great thing about [her] is she never took
herself seriously. She always laughed with us,” he continued.
Born Aug. 10, 1964, Nicole Lynn
Bass got a quick start in front of the camera modeling as early as age five. It
wasn’t until later that she would get involved with lifting weights, though. “It’s
a funny story how I first got involved in bodybuilding,” she told Celebrity
Sleuth in their 1994 issue. “I used to have E-cup breasts (measuring 47″). When
I first went to the gym, everyone would always talk to my chest. I had a Marilyn
Monroe type of body and I read that, as a starlet, she kept her shape by
working out with weights,” Nicole explained.
Throughout the late ’80s and ’90s she built up an impressive
resume of accomplishments on her way to winning the 1997 NPC National
Bodybuilding Championship and segueing that into a career as a professional wrestler
with Extreme Championship Wrestling and later the World Wrestling Federation.
Nicole first crossed paths with the Stern Show shortly after
the success of Howard’s “Private Parts” book in 1993 when she showed up at a
local New York City pageant where the staff was collecting contestants for the “New
Year’s Rotten Eve” pay-per-view special.
Though she was not crowned Miss Howard Stern that year,
Nicole cemented herself as a mainstay on the show for her unique physique and good-natured
attitude. When it came time for 1997’s “Private Parts” movie, she even snagged
a cameo in one scene introducing Howard’s move to Hartford when fellow Wack
Packer Crackhead Bob was unable to enunciate clearly enough. After reciting her
line, Nicole is heard asking Stern Show Executive Producer Gary
Dell’Abate, “Was my voice too deep doing that?” to which he responds, “No, it
was very feminine.”
The next year found Howard launching
a brand new Saturday night television show on CBS with Nicole Bass as his first
interview. The eyebrow-raising segment featured Robin Quivers taking Nicole
into the bathroom in order to get a peek at her lady parts for confirmation of
her gender once and for all … and though it did not go quite as planned, a DNA
test conducted a few months later confirmed what Nicole had maintained all along:
she was a natural woman!
Moreover, if there was ever any
doubt about her dedication to weightlifting, all questions were answered when
Nicole happened to appear on the show the same day as the “Austrian Oak” himself,
Arnold Schwarzenegger, who attested to seeing Nicole work out for hours on end in the gym.
Ever a good sport, Nicole returned
to the air in 1999 when Howard received four of the most visible seats behind
home plate at Yankee Stadium as a gift. Since anyone seated there could
be seen on TV during nearly every pitch, Howard decided to send his trusted
producer Gary as well as Wack Packers Beetlejuice, Gary the Conqueror,
and Nicole with instructions on how to draw attention to themselves while at the game.
Throughout the ensuing years
Nicole would continue to appear on the show in various capacities as a member
of the Wack Pack with Howard jokingly toying with the idea of reviving “The
Munsters” sitcom and having Nicole play the part of Herman Munster — a gag fueled even further by Fred Norris’s
popular impression of her. Nicole embraced the bit, practicing the laugh and showing
up one year dressed as Herman Munster for Halloween.
After witnessing Joey Buttafuoco rough up former
wrestler and frequent Stern Show guest Chyna in a celebrity boxing match, Nicole challenged the infamous
New Yorker to a bout herself, promising that it wouldn’t end the same way.
Instead, the two ended up duking it out in a game of Hollyweird Squares on the
show in 2004. Unfortunately for Nicole, Joey took home the win and a cash prize
that day.
Early in her career, Nicole found
that her distinctive physical appearance attracted specific types of men and
she monetized that in different ways throughout her life, including fetish
wrestling and fantasy calls. In recent years, Nicole found success performing
topless at gentlemen’s clubs around the nation’s heartland and even put on a
special show for Stern Show staffers JD Harmeyer, Richard Christy, and Ronnie “the
Limo Driver” Mund.
Nicole was happily married for 28
years to her husband Bob until his death in 2013, after which she found love
again with her business partner Kristy—her first lesbian relationship.
Our thoughts are with Nicole’s loved
ones during this difficult time.
Stern Show staffer Benjy Bronk is proud of his penis and is
ready for the entire world to see it. He shared photos of his manhood on
Twitter recently, setting off an internet firestorm that even included coverage
of his dick pics on PerezHilton.com .
“I think I have a nice cock,” Benjy told Howard, explaining that was the part of his body he was most comfortable showing on the web.
Howard was unimpressed by the personal pictorial and showed
Robin the photos to get her take on Benjy’s penis.
“That is disgusting. That is not a pretty cock,” Robin said
upon seeing the pics. “What the hell is this one? It looks like it’s on fire,
it’s so red.”
Howard also got some expert opinions from frequent guests
Andy Cohen and Perez Hilton. Since both are openly gay, they should know for
sure whether or not Benjy has a pretty penis.
“Let’s start with the good. He has a strong hard-on. It’s
firm,” Andy said of Benjy’s pics. “Here’s my issue: to me, it’s almost like he
has something to hide. He’s showing pieces of the dick without actually showing
the whole dick, OK? You never see the entire length. My feeling is that, what
he’s trying to mask is, that it’s not too big. Or, let me be more direct, that
it’s small.”
Perez, who is more familiar with Benjy’s backside than his
frontside, also weighed in on the controversial photos.
“He was hard but he also was covering his dick!” Perez said.
“If you’re going to put out your own dick pics at least be fully hard and put
it out there for everybody to see. He kind of almost half-assed it. Like, they
were the most unflattering dick pics I’ve ever seen and I’m an expert on dick
pics. I’ve seen many in my life.”
Mr. Skin returned to the Stern Show on Monday to reveal the winners of his 18 th annual Anatomy Awards. It’s been a busy year in fast-forwarding to the good parts with tons of new nude scenes added to his site.
“There’s so much content out there,” Mr. Skin told Howard. By his count, there are at least 113 television shows currently airing that feature regular nudity. “If you win Best TV Show for nudity right now, that’s saying something.”
The show to take the top TV prize in 2017 was HBO’s hit series “Westworld,” which even Mr. Skin said has more nudity than he ever could have expected.
“Before ‘Westworld’ happened, I knew there was going to be a lot of sex and nudity,” he explained. “What I didn’t anticipate was the clinical, medical nudity.” Mr. Skin questioned why producers don’t cover up the nude robot characters with a sheet in some of the show’s laboratory scenes, not that he’s complaining.
Winner of Breast Picture this year was a movie called “White Girl” starring Morgan Saylor, whom “Homeland” fans will recognize for her turn as Nicholas Brody’s daughter Dana on the Showtime series. The 2016 flick tells the story of a girl who gets involved with a drug dealer and features a scene that appears to show the main character performing fellatio –Mr. Skin is still stumped on whether a prosthetic was used during filming or if it’s the real deal.
Check out all of the uncensored pics of Mr. Skin’s Anatomy Award winners here .
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George Takei smiles during his Big Gay 80th Birthday Bash
Photo: The Howard Stern Show



Benjy Bronk Chubs Up in Front of Jason Ellis
Photo: The Howard Stern Show



George Takei examines Benjy Bronks dick pics
Photo: The Howard Stern Show



Charlie Murphy visits the Stern Show in 2010.
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

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The Stern Show got crazy on Monday morning after Howard kicked off George Takei’s Big Gay 80th Birthday Bash. George was in studio for all the festivities and couldn’t wait to see what Howard had in store. Before the celebration started, Howard asked George about his recent April Fools’ Day prank where he insinuated in a tweet he was running for a seat in Congress. George was only joking but that didn’t stop a few celebrities from giving him their endorsement, including Oscar-nominated actor Mark Ruffalo.
George also told a story about famed film director Francis Ford Coppola, whom he first met when they were both students at UCLA. According to George, he lent the young moviemaker $500 to make a student film but was never repaid. Years passed and despite bumping into each other at various events, George never mentioned the debt.
“I didn’t want to be aggressive,” George said. “I waited for him to bring it up.”
Word eventually got back to Coppola who sent a note to George and Brad inviting them to his winery. A nice gesture, for sure, but Howard wondered why Francis didn’t just repay him.
“When he wines and dines me I’m sure it’s going to be well worth more,” George said.
To kick off the Big Gay 80th Birthday Bash, Howard played a phony phone call of “George Takei” calling a religious radio show. It was actually a George Takei impressionist but the voice was so good, even George was fooled. Hear the prank call (below).
There was plenty of penis on hand for the first segment of George Takei’s Big Gay 80 th Birthday Bash as Howard welcomed in the stars of the Off-Broadway show “Naked Boys Singing.” George’s eyes lit up as the young men entered the studio fully nude.
“Heaven. I’m in heaven,” George sang. The Naked Boys then
performed a parody of “Hot Hot Hot” that George couldn’t help but dance to.
“I’m gonna go see that show,” George declared after the musical
celebration.
“I don’t have any tickets on me but we’ll get you some,” one
of the Naked Boys told him.
George praised the “pendulous” guys that stood before him. And as much as he liked their fronts, he was impressed by their rears as well. “Their backsides are
wonderful, too!” George stated.
See “Naked Boys Singing” for yourself at the Kirk Theater in New York. For ticket info, click here .
There was no way Stern Show staffers Richard Christy and Sal
Governale weren’t going to get in on the fun for George Takei’s Big Gay 80 th
Birthday Bash. Their idea: have George judge which of them had the cuter asshole.
“I’ve seen those buns already,” George said as Richard and
Sal entered and removed their kimonos. Spreading themselves wide, Richard and
Sal told George to get up close and personal and take a good look.
“George, who has the better ass?” Howard asked the birthday
boy.
George selected Richard, but told Sal it was a tough choice. They then
challenged him to judge their balls.
“They both hang quite nicely,” George said. “Yours swings a
little bit more, Sal.”
Howard invited George to do some pushups over Richard’s
naked body, since the soon-to-be octogenarian stays in shape by doing 100
pushups daily. Richard got on his back and George propped his feet on the arm
of the Stern Show couch. He then lowered himself, head first, into Richard’s crotch.
“I’m chubbing up a little,” Richard said through
uncontrollable laughter. After 30 or so pushups, George finally came up for
air, noticeably out of breath.
“He was motorboating his penis when he went down,” Jason
Kaplan explained.
“That was gayer than I was thought it was going to be,”
Howard joked.
“You guys were breathtaking,” George told Richard and Sal as
they exited the studio.
Howard promised George Takei 80 feet of penis for the actor’s Big Gay 80th Birthday Bash on Monday and at least a few of those inches came from Stern Show staffer Benjy Bronk.
Benjy reportedly spent a few minutes outside the studio preparing his manhood for public display before making his entrance and whipping out his penis. “Don’t get too close to George,” Howard said as Benjy withdrew himself to a dramatic drum beat. “Give him some distance.”
Benjy insisted that millions have praised the head of his penis before, but George’s initial response was less than effusive. “Is that the full length?” he asked.
“There are some that are flaccid and long,” George explained.
Benjy kept offering to show photos of his penis to the birthday boy, despite being fully exposed just a few inches away from the actor’s face. George declined, saying he preferred to see the real thing in its proper context, even if it’s flaccid.
While George said Benjy’s penis was lacking in length and refused to praise it on the whole, he was very gentle with his critique. “Penises come in all sizes. All shapes. All forms” George told Benjy. “The head is lovely.”
After Benjy exited the studio, George questioned his motivations for flaunting his manhood on Twitter. Ultimately, he wondered if Benjy was having much sex.
George Takei received several presents during his Big Gay 80th Birthday Bash on Monday’s show, including a temporary crown and title from Bravo star Andy Cohen.
Andy is both a friend of the Stern Show as well as its official Top Gay, so naturally he called in during George’s extremely gay festivities. “Happy birthday, George. I love you so much.” Andy said. “And I have to say I loved it, years ago on the Stern Show, when you judged that big penis contest … It was so brilliant”
“Well, you know I just had eight naked beautiful guys’ bodies … serenading me,” George replied, referring to the rendition of “Naked Boys Singing!” he had just endured.
To George’s surprise, Andy revealed he hadn’t yet seen the Off-Broadway production. “You don’t qualify as a gay man,” George joked, adding that seeing it was “obligatory.”
But that was just prelude to Andy’s big two-part announcement. First, Andy invited listeners to send George lewd photos via social media. “I have received a gallery of pictures by direct messages on Instagram from many wonderful straight listeners of the Stern Show who want to share their dick pics with me,” Andy said. “I am encouraging these gentlemen—for today—to send [their] dick pics to George’s D.M. on Instagram because I think he will love that.”
“What a wonderful gift,” George laughed.
Howard wondered how many dick picks Andy got from straight guys per day.
“It’s down to a trickle, but it was a flood there for a few weeks,” Andy said, adding “I got some great pictures.”
This led to Andy’s second announcement. “I’m giving you my crown, and I’m crowning you Top Gay for the day,” he told George.
Howard revealed Richard and Sal were standing by, readying to present George with his Top Gay crown—decorated of course with four dildos. However, it wouldn’t be a proper coronation without a song, thus Howard serenaded George with a tune celebrating his ascension to being Top Gay, even if only for a day.
“This goes back to Andy tomorrow,” George laughed while accepting his crown, which he jokingly promised to donate to the Japanese American National Museum currently celebrating “ The Many Worlds of George Takei .”
The final gift Howard gave to George for his Big Gay 80 th
Birthday Bash was something he’d already enjoyed on the Stern Show before.
Jason Ellis entered the studio wearing only wrapping paper around his penis
which George got to work removing but not without copping a few feels elsewhere
on Jason’s body.
“George, you’re supposed to be unwrapping your gift,” Howard
told Mr. Takei.
“You’re patting the inside of my thigh,” Jason said as
George grazed his leg. Eventually the birthday present was fully revealed and George
once again marveled at Jason’s manhood.
“Look at that. Gorgeous. Nice ass, too,” George said.
“You’re such a friendly guy, but when my dick is out you’re
a monster,” Jason joked.
Jason, who is now openly bisexual , isn’t sure if he’s ever
hooked up with a guy George’s age since he’s put his penis in so many anonymous
glory holes. But when asked if he would get physical with someone in his 80s,
Jason answered, “for sure.” That was music to George’s ears, who joked he might
have to try and convince his husband Brad to let him do some exploring with Jason.
“I love him deeply and I’ll do nothing to jeopardize that,”
George said of Brad. “But it is true that Jason is a beautiful man.”
Jason has been training for his upcoming King of the Cage
fight versus Gabe Rivas. Even at 45 years old, Jason said he still wants to
challenge himself physically.
“It makes me whole to be a competitor and to put my body on
the line,” he told Howard. And right before he steps into the cage, Jason also plans on
racing his car in the Lucas Oil Regional Off Road Series – SoCal. “I’m the
first person to ever race a professional car race and have a professional MMA
fight in the same day,” Jason explained.
Jason said his involvement in events like these helps
to change people’s minds about who is capable of competing in what some might consider “macho” events. “Gay,
straight, whatever you are, you’re just a dude or you’re just a girl. Everybody
just needs to get along,” Jason said.
George was impressed that Jason could be as open and honest
about his sexuality. “I respect you for who you are and your guts to be
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