Being A Submissive

Being A Submissive

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Submissive. It’s a term with a lot of negative connotation to it in today’s society. Much of it has nothing to do with the submission practiced in D/s relationships but because most of us, when we first encounter the term, don’t know a thing about BDSM it can come as quite a shock to be described in this way.

In this video I’d like to help you understand what it means to be submissive in a Dominant/submissive context as it pertains to BDSM relationships. I want to debunk a few common myths and help you or your partner accept that being submissive can be a healthy expression of yourself or your sexuality.

Being submissive is a healthy expression of your personality, whether that be in your public or private life. Submissives are often able to live fulfilled lives and feel more connected with themselves and their relationships. I’ve often heard other submissives say that their life is better because they submit then before they embraced the D/s lifestyle.

There are many different bottom roles that could fit you and one size does not fit all in any of them. I suggest that anyone who has being controlled fantasies specifically start with a bottom role and go from there. That way you can explore the kinky fantasies you have and not overwhelm yourself with the idea of surrendering control of other areas of your life (until you want to/unless you want to).

Let's take a look at the following four spaces to help you figure out if you are submissive. Apply them however they will work for your own personal situation.

Knowing you are submissive will have a
mental aspect to it. When you think of serving others does it put you in a peaceful position? If it feels like the logical thing to do then it probably is. When I found that I was happy being submissive I stopped fighting myself and accepted being happy.

You may also have a
spiritual connection to submission. I've often described my connectedness to my Dominant as being in prayer. I feel a higher power sort of connection when I please him. You may have an overall sense of bliss or complete happiness thinking about or participating in service.

Connecting to submissive can have an
emotional response as well. You may cry uncontrollably, or smile so hard and so often that your cheeks hurt. There is a clear sign that you are submissive when you can look upon being of service to someone else and your heart aches with need. Your emotional response is usually the strongest response to submissive stimulus that you will be able to experience.

Lastly, when you are submissive you will develop a
physical response to Dominance exerted at or near you. For many, this is sexual excitement but it could also be a need to physically get up and do something to bring your closer to that Dominance. I've had moments that only felt perfect when I listened to the primal urge to kneel or kiss his hand or do something to serve him.

Feeling all of these things at one time or another usually means you have a submissive mindset. It may not happen all the time, but the moments that do you should try to feed it. Develop a service you can provide someone else, volunteer in your community and certainly if you can explore a relationship with Dominance and submission at its core. You may find the calling you were hearing was one thing or another... or all of the above. Only you can know if submission is the right direction for you.

The best resources for someone just exploring are the multitude of books and online resources available to you. This website was a good first step and I highly suggest you browse through the hundreds of articles here about a lot of different things.
How to Be Kinky and
How to Be Kinkier by Morpheous are good starting points. So is
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Molly Devon and Phillip Miller. If you learn better visually, there's no better place than
KinkAcademy , where for a small monthly subscription you can get kink educated. I highly recommend it. You can find links for all of the resources I mention in the description box below.

Thanks for watching and thanks especially to all our Patrons on Patreon who make these videos possible. If you want to help us keep making videos like this check out Patreon.com/subguide. If you liked this video, hit the thumbs up and if you want to get more videos from Submissive Guide don’t forget to subscribe.
Every month I'll update you on the latest from Submissive Guide and you'll get first access to new resources, offers and events.

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Until a few years ago, unless you were part of the BDSM community, submissive was just a word.
You’d probably have thought that submissive meant meek, respectful, compliant and passive. And then 50 Shades of Grey arrived and the word took on a whole new meaning.
These days, the sexual side of the word ‘submissive’ means something else. It’s a descriptive word for a role that some people like to take during sex, role play or within their kinky relationship.
The submissive partner can be either the male or the female. It’s also possible for people to take it in turns to be the submissive one, which is known as ‘switching’.
Being submissive can be limited to during sex, when the submissive partner might be on the receiving end of masochism, bondage or other forms of domination. However, some submissive don’t limit their submission to within the bedroom, and will be a ‘lifestyle’ submissive.
Lifestyle submissive have sets of rules between themselves and their partners which govern their relationship. It might be small things such as calling your partner a term like ‘sir’ or ‘master’, it could be doing domestic labour, or it could involve spending large amounts of time naked in a cage.
Every submissive and dominant relationship is different and has different levels of intensity and different rules. It is more common to keep the dominant and submissive roles to the bedroom (or to specific periods of time) rather than living the lifestyle 24/7, as it can be difficult to sustain a relationship with an inherent imbalance, especially if you have a family.
It can be hard to understand why another person wants to be submissive if that’s not something you’re personally interested in. It’s important to try to understand and not to judge. As we have written before, there is a real difference between kinky and abusive. That difference is active consent.
Submissive relationships only work when they are based around consent. If you’re worried that a relationship has become toxic or dangerous, you should contact Relate or the National Domestic Violence hotline.

© Copyright 2022. All Rights Reserved.
How to Be Submissive in a Relationship: 20 Ways
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mission#:~:text=Definition%20of%20mission,bombing%20mission%20a%20space%20mission https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4768593/ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01979/full https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/02/scientists-find-a-few-surprises-in-their-study-of-love/

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.

When you hear the word ‘submissive,’ what’s the first thought that comes through your mind?
The word submission can trigger different reactions.
Women may view submission as a form of inequality. Some may also think that it only applies in the bedroom, and others, a form of surrender of their personality.
The reality is, learning how to be submissive in a relationship isn’t that all bad.
If we fully understand the submissive meaning in a relationship, we’ll see that it’s even as positive as love.
First, we need to clear the definition and understand the misconception about submission in a relationship.
What does submission mean in a relationship?
If you just view the word itself, you might view it negatively.
It’s like you are surrendering all of yourself to another person. Some people may even think of submission as slavery to their partner.
Let’s dig deeper. What is submission in a relationship?
First, let’s define the ‘sub’ from the word submission.
Sub is a prefix. It means underneath, below, or under.
Then, the word ‘ mission ‘ means a task that one has to fulfill, a calling, or a purpose.
Being submissive in marriage means you are submitting to your spouse. You are setting yourself under a mission of being a good partner .
The couple both submits themselves in one goal or mission – to have a prosperous, kind, and healthy relationship or marriage.
Even in the religious context, submission to your husband is a good thing. Therefore, being submissive to your partner is not a negative thing but a positive one.
Before we talk about how to be submissive in a relationship, we need to know the most common misconceptions regarding this topic.
Submission to a man in your marriage or relationship does not mean:
These are just some things that we think are a part of submission.
The submission in a relationship that we are talking about is not about inequality but all about being under one mission: mutual respect and growth.
We are aiming for submission in a healthy relationship. Like any other rules in a relationship, love and submission should be mutual and should both exist.
If you are only in love, but you can’t submit to one another, then it won’t work. Power struggle, ego, and pride , all these things will come after the other.
If you will only submit to your partner, and there’s no love and faith in God, it will also not work the way you want it to.
It may even lead to an abusive and controlling relationship .
Submission and love should be mutual.
The real submission definition in a relationship is when two people in love submit to mutual respect .
Now that we understand the real meaning of submission, we need to know how to be submissive in a relationship.
Let’s look deeper into how to be more submissive in a relationship.
The one thing your partner needs from you is respect.
It doesn’t matter who earns more or who works more. Giving the respect that your partner deserves is a form of fulfilling your mission as a spouse and a way of showing your love.
Another submission meaning in a relationship is when you are open to communication.
The most common problems that couples have roots in lack of communication . You also have to remember that your voice shouldn’t be silenced. Being able to voice your opinion is your right, but do it with tact.
How to be submissive in a relationship is learning how to listen to your spouse without interrupting.
Most often, we get too excited to share or oppose the idea of our partners that we don’t listen at all. You will have your own time to talk, but first, submit and listen. It is also a great way to show respect.
A submissive partner allows themselves to trust wholeheartedly.
It is part of the covenant you have sworn together as a couple. You submit yourself to trust this person, and your partner should also do the same for you.
Trust is a foundation that will also make you feel secure and loved. It can help you grow, not just as a couple but as an individual.
If you have strong faith, your relationship will thrive.
However, there’s a misconception on this one. You should have a strong faith that is inside you, do not rely on anyone, even your partner, for your spiritual strength.
Each one of you should already have a strong faith. Together, it will be greater and will help you through your trials.
Most of us have work, and yes, if you are one independent and strong individual, that’s great.
Your partner sure knows this fact too.
However, a part of submission in a relationship means allowing them to provide. Allow them to prove to you that they can and that they are happy doing it.
It’s vital to allow your partner to be in charge.
This actually makes them feel that you trust their judgment and decisions. Aside from that, you will relieve yourself of some of the responsibilities in your marriage.
Your partner will also appreciate that you are allowing them to take the lead, and they’ll make you proud, that’s for sure.
Understandably, most individuals nowadays are really independent.
They can budget, buy everything the whole family needs, juggle all household chores, take care of their kids, etc.
Amazing, right? However, it’s still essential that sometimes, you should include your partner in these tasks.
For example, before buying a new refrigerator, you should ask your partner. Before you change sofas, do ask your partner what they think about it.
It doesn’t matter if you are a hundred percent sure they’ll agree with you; it makes them feel important when you ask about their opinion.
One of the great examples of submission in marriage is when you are sensitive to your partner’s needs.
Usually, we put our needs and wants first before our spouse or partner. If they also do this, you’re not submitting to the relationship, right?
Putting your partner’s needs and wants may not be that easy at first, but if you’re both on the same level of maturity of love, then they would be doing the same as well.
If you want to know how to be submissive in a relationship, then remember this, do not speak negatively of your spouse – especially through social media and to other people.
Understandably, you would have fights, but that’s normal.
What’s not normal is you would go online and rant. Or you call other people and tell them what you hate about your spouse.
This will never help your relationship . Be discreet. Indeed, you don’t want your partner to talk about you behind your back, right?
You are a team. Ruining your partner’s reputation will ruin yours too.
Sex isn’t just relieving your carnal desires.
It also strengthens your bond . Another way to be submissive in a relationship is to put their pleasure first before yours.
Submitting to a promise of mutual feelings and respect allows you to grow as a couple and as an individual.
This is where you will realize that you have become best friends. You’re each other’s companion , and you’re on the same page of love, goals, and faith.
A submissive wife will ensure that her home has peace.
Even if there are misunderstandings and problems, someone has to make sure that there will be peace in your relationship and home.
What is being submissive in a relationship? Is it that one partner should always be the one to maintain the home all by themselves?
That’s not what we mean. After all, you’re not Cinderella, right?
We are not telling you that you should become a slave in your own home.
Instead, you should take the responsibility and the joy of keeping your house a home. Your partner will also take part in this.
Even if you have your own money, letting your partner know about your spending is an act of respect.
You wanted to buy a luxury bag and you saved for it. Still, it’s better to let your partner know.
Surely, you would want your partner to do the same with you, right?
Being a submissive wife, you should start bringing peace by staying calm.
For the sake of your love and marriage, learn to be patient and calm. Avoid confrontation when you are both angry – this will lead to a more negative outcome. Control your emotions and see how it works.
Dr. Christian Conte with Kristen Conte discusses anger management for relationships . Watch their video here:
As a submissive partner, let your spouse know that if ever they need anything from you – you’re there.
It will make them feel a lot stronger once they know that they can count on you as a partner in life and decisions.
Another easy way how to be submissive in your relationship is to always be grateful to your partner .
A grateful heart will give you a good life, and that’s true. Focus on this person’s positive traits, efforts, and love.
To submit to your partner means that you need to allow them to have their privacy.
If we want to keep ours, then our spouse has the right to keep theirs too. Not only will this make them feel that you trust and respect them, but they would also appreciate the gesture.
There will be times when you would feel anger, resentment , and even that feeling that you want to give up.
When you feel this way, take time and remember all the positive traits of the person you love. We all make mistakes, and if we focus on those mistakes, our judgment would be clouded.
We all have our own roles when we enter a relationship.
Submitting to your partner doesn’t mean that you are giving up your voice, freedom, and happiness. It also doesn’t mean that you will be under a dominant that will abuse and control your life.
Submission to your partner simply means that you will be under a mi
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