Being A Shy Guy

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Being A Shy Guy
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If you have landed on this page and have looked through my website by now, chances are you probably consider yourself to be a bit shy. Most people in fact consider themselves to be shy, even though they probably aren’t all that shy after all. The truth however is that everyone can be shy at times and this can actually be a good thing. However if you are perpetually shy all the time, that’s okay. I am going to tell you 4 reasons why being shy can actually be a great thing!
1. Shy guys are usually very in-tuned with their feelings and know how to control their emotions. This makes them great thinkers, and academics. In other words, shy people are “wicked” smart. You see they do a lot of self-reflection, and a lot of thinking about every little thing they do. Oftentimes they do this a little too much self-reflection, and this keeps them in their heads. So it is very important to find a good balance of this. When they do, they can get a lot done.
2. Shy guys often have a big heart. Shy guys tend to be introverted by nature, and tend to have fewer friends than most people. So naturally, when they meet someone new whom they really like, they tend to really give that person their all. Shy guys make the most loyal friends out of any type of person. They do not have many friends, but the friends they do have, are very important to them, and also very close to them.
3. Shy guys can actually be more attractive to women in some ways. Not every woman wants a loud, outgoing, and often obnoxious boyfriend. Most women actually just want that down-to-earth, normal, sometimes reserved boyfriend, who can have intelligent conversations with her and be their emotionally for her. Like I mentioned earlier shy guys are very in-tuned with their emotions, which also happens to be a quality that all women have as well.
4. Shy guys can be a challenge to women. Shy guys can actually use their aloofness as a true blessing. If you’re a shy guy, and you want to actually use this to your advantage, it is very easy. Just become a little more confident about yourself and who you are. Accept that you are a bit shy, and actually make that an asset rather than a problem. Instead of being insecure about not being as outgoing as most other men, be proud of the fact, and know that you have other advantages which these men do not have. And that just being a bit reserved in itself can actually drive a woman crazy, as women love to solve a good mystery!
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Justin Stenstrom is an alternative medicine expert, speaker, and bestselling author of Elite Mind. He is the Editor-in-Chief of EliteManMagazine.com , the founder of Elite Life Nutrition , and the host of the Elite Man Podcast , where he interviews some of the best self-help experts in the world, including guests like Robert Greene, Grant Cardone, Dr. John Gray, Bas Rutten, Anthony William, Dorian Yates and many others. Once anxious, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping others do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here .
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Being a shy guy, how do I get confident without getting cocky?
Christian Life Coach ( 2021 – present ) · Author has 99 answers and 40K answer views · 11 mo ·
How do you become confident if you are a very shy person?
I used to be shy, but I am now confident. How do I get people to treat me like a confident person instead of a shy person?
How does a shy, nervous guy make himself seem confident in public, what are some tips?
Has anyone gone from shy to confident and how did you do it?
How can an introvert and shy guy become more confident in public appearance or social events?
Engineer, passionate about perfecting human interactions · · 11 mo ·
How do you become confident if you are a very shy person?
I used to be shy, but I am now confident. How do I get people to treat me like a confident person instead of a shy person?
How does a shy, nervous guy make himself seem confident in public, what are some tips?
Has anyone gone from shy to confident and how did you do it?
How can an introvert and shy guy become more confident in public appearance or social events?
How do I become a confident person from being an introvert and a shy girl?
Do shy guys get confident when they like a girl?
All my past boyfriends were extremely shy. What can I do to get a confident guy?
How do I gain confidence fast because being shy gets no where?
How would you help a shy person to become a confident one?
This man has always been gentle with me but shy, but he’s suddenly stopped acting shy and more confident to me. Why?
I am very confident of myself, but still shy and nervous around women. Do I have a problem? Cos I think I do
What if a very confident person becomes nervous and almost shy around you?
How do we distinguish someone who's being cocky or simply just a shy person?
How do you become confident if you are a very shy person?
I used to be shy, but I am now confident. How do I get people to treat me like a confident person instead of a shy person?
How does a shy, nervous guy make himself seem confident in public, what are some tips?
Has anyone gone from shy to confident and how did you do it?
How can an introvert and shy guy become more confident in public appearance or social events?
How do I become a confident person from being an introvert and a shy girl?
Do shy guys get confident when they like a girl?
All my past boyfriends were extremely shy. What can I do to get a confident guy?
How do I gain confidence fast because being shy gets no where?
How would you help a shy person to become a confident one?
Something went wrong. Wait a moment and try again.
Go on YouTube and look up “Coach Corey Wayne”. That man changed my life. I was a nervous, anti-social wreck before stumbling upon his work. Now, I can tell you that I have confidence the size of Texas.
Also a lot of my confidence came from giving my Life to Christ. I was able to let go a lot of the sins that plagued my conscience and felt like I was worth it.
Anyway look up Coach Corey Wayne, find God.
Funny thing: cocky guys are *usually* not that confident.
You use cocky as a simple trick to *appear* confident, because cocky is still more attractive than low self-esteem.
You can use cocky as a stepping stone. Like pretending to be confident until you learn how to become confident.
Think of it in terms of wealth. The cocky guy is the guy flashing some money around at the VIP table and ordering “your most expensive wine”. Really wealthy people would never do that sort of thing. It stinks of overcompensation.
If you are doing the cocky thing, but don’t want people to dislike you, whenever you fee
Funny thing: cocky guys are *usually* not that confident.
You use cocky as a simple trick to *appear* confident, because cocky is still more attractive than low self-esteem.
You can use cocky as a stepping stone. Like pretending to be confident until you learn how to become confident.
Think of it in terms of wealth. The cocky guy is the guy flashing some money around at the VIP table and ordering “your most expensive wine”. Really wealthy people would never do that sort of thing. It stinks of overcompensation.
If you are doing the cocky thing, but don’t want people to dislike you, whenever you feel you overstepped you simply temper it with some self deprecating humor. Have some jokes in your sleeve about something you’re really bad at. Be amused about the flaws you’re making fun of, and chose something that isn’t unattractive to girls.
It’s NOT good, if you make fun of how much of a coward and scared of spiders you are.
It’s likeable and masculine if you mention how you tried hard to learn cooking, but even your dog, who will eat his own shit, refuses to eat your food. Say it in an entertained, faux desperate kind of way. Like you care, and you want to be good at it, but you’re such a loser… Ideally a cute girl will offer to teach you.
If you are enjoying playing the cocky guy, talk about your flaws with the same tone and overconfidence. If there was an olympic medal at being terrible at that, you would win it! Being cocky about your flaws is funny.
Don’t use my examples. Find real ones. Those that are true for you.
Source: I’ve had low confidence. I’ve been cocky. I now have true confidence.

Posted by u/[deleted] 10 months ago
Being shy as a guy is definitely the worst possible trait, right?
Comment deleted by user · 10 mo. ago
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Being shy is probably why I am the way I am, I can't even imagine the amount of effort and time it would take to basically 180 my entire mind and personality to erase this negative personality trait. As a man nobody will pull you out of this, at least as a woman guys are way more willing to approach and try and pull you out of this trait. As a guy "specifically ugly like myself", nobody ever pulled me out of it. 23 and still the same as I was when I was 6.
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You're right, no one is going to "pull you out" of it. But you don't have to see it as some permanent, life defining trait either.
Me, I'm super shy. Or was, anyway. I couldn't approach girls when I was younger, I never once just like, went up to a girl and started talking to her and had that turn into anything but a friend. I'm married so I'm not trying anymore, but I probably still couldn't really meet people IRL (thank god for Internet dating.)
WITH THAT SAID, I did come out of my shell some over the years. I started doing things that kind of forced me to be less shy. Found some local communities and started going to IRL meet-ups, things like that. Honestly, I'm still often the guy who just hangs at the outside of the circle and doesn't have a lot to say, but I push myself to get involved more.
And obviously everyone can't do this, but I became a teacher, and let me tell you, becoming a teacher changes you. You can't be passive as a teacher. The kids will eat you alive. You're forced to become a more dominant personality.
It sucks, but a truth of life is that no one is going to save you but you.
This is interesting. I was wondering whether or not I could manage teaching music in middle school, but my fear is that the kids will eat me alive and that I can't do anything about it because that's my personality.
This post isn't the work of a "shy" person, exactly.
I invite you to unpack and breakdown this label "shy" into smaller component parts. "Doesn't like small talk," for example. "Doesn't know how to start a conversation with a stranger," another example. Anyway, make a list of things that are true about you that fit under the heading "shy."
Then, make a new list that included on it is this post. "Posting very private things is OK anonymously," might be how you would portray it. That's kinda contrary to the concept of "shy," at least a little bit, right? Try to think of other aspects about that you are or seem to be a little contrary to the concept of "shy" and don't box yourself into this.
Then think how you can maximize those aspects of you that are not "shy." Start relationships anonymously, for example, if anonymity helps you open up and socialize. The only big pitfall I would advise you to avoid is alcohol; lots of "shy" people are less shy with use of alcohol, but of course this can be a healthy elixir for some and a positive poison life-ruiner for others, so beware.
Shyness is definitely not the worst possible trait.
and shit, even then abusive and entitled people get into relationships on the reg
It's funny, every guy here insists that the trait they have is the 'worst possible trait'. Hate to break it to you, but you can't all be right.
Also, you then list yourself as ugly, so like... which is it? Would your shyness not be an issue if you weren't 'ugly'? In which case, it wouldn't the shyness that was the main issue.
So here's the thing, shyness is fine, not being a model or w/e is also fine. The chances are, you're just quite introverted and would come out of your shell with some close friendships and you probably look pretty normal. Even the guys who come here saying they're 'hideously disfigured' are usually normal looking. You've clearly got a lot of negative self-talk and negative thoughts/perceptions about yourself.
The reality is, plenty of shy normal people establish friendships and relationships. Some people are just shy and don't need to be 'pulled out' of it.
Even the guys who come here saying they're 'hideously disfigured' are usually normal looking
I'm not disfigured, but I'm far from normal looking.
Idk if shyness is the worst possible trait. You could be a raging racist, a sadistic rapist, a psychopath who kills babies for pleasure, you could torture small animals and steal from the elderly.
So yeah, while your shyness won't help you to be the life and soul of every party, it's okay. Sun shines for you too!
(PS. There is a school of thought that says those quiet, introverted guys are good lays...)
Racists and psychopaths can still get dates if they are confident and socially competent. I dont think OP is talking about the worst trait to have morally (obviously being shy isn't immoral) but for your own personal happiness. Unfortunatly you can still live a comfortable life with a bigoted or monstrous personality.
Idk if shyness is the worst possible trait. You could be a raging racist, a sadistic rapist, a psychopath who kills babies for pleasure, you could torture small animals and steal from the elderly.
I mean geez, would hope that being shy would be better then that lol, way to take it to the extreme. Then again though, the way women talk about shy men or dudes that lack confidence, it wouldn't shock me if that was the worst non extreme trait.
It’s not that women dislike shy guys. I think it’s more that shy guys don’t take the initiative to approach women
The worst possible trait is being whiny. When you are a whiny complainer it makes people immediately dislike you as they will reflect back to you your own self perception which is that you are a loser of some sort.
I think there are way worse traits then being "Whiny".
Good looking whiny guys still get dates. The relationship might not last long, with the whining, but they still get them.

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Comment deleted by user · 5 yr. ago
We don't know, but we'll answer anyway
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were you always shy? whats the reason for your shyness? why dont you try to change it, if it bothers you?
It's alright for everyda
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