Being A Shy Guy
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What are the cons of being a shy guy?
These are some of the cons of a shy guy . I have experienced this but today , I'm in a place where I have gained the confidence to speak up what I feel . The best part you can do is , make new friends .. start hanging around with extroverts . Your friend circle definitely has a deep impact on you , let me tell you. It doesn't matter if you're shy , you're special . Everyone has their own problems , but in order to solve them , you must face it head on .
What happens when a shy girl likes a shy guy?
Is it weird that only shy guys like me?
How do I make conversation with a man who's shy and awkward?
Can a guy just be shy or is he avoiding being questioned?
What are some signs that a shy guy likes you?
The question here is what are harms it drawbacks of being a shy guy ...
The underlying assumption here being that being shy results in some harm. As human beings we are all differently tuned, in various aspects of personality. There are millions of shy people in the world, some are honest to themselves and usually associate with a small group of close friends , then there are a million shy people faking to be extroverts , who have the toughest time because it is not their inherent nature . There are genuinely a lot of people who are extroverts , and good for them , they can be comfortable amon
The question here is what are harms it drawbacks of being a shy guy ...
The underlying assumption here being that being shy results in some harm. As human beings we are all differently tuned, in various aspects of personality. There are millions of shy people in the world, some are honest to themselves and usually associate with a small group of close friends , then there are a million shy people faking to be extroverts , who have the toughest time because it is not their inherent nature . There are genuinely a lot of people who are extroverts , and good for them , they can be comfortable among a crowd.
The worst you could do is to lie to yourself , act as an extrovert, and not feel a connect with the crowd of people you hangout with, that my friend is I think the only harm.
You only need very few people who really care about you in your life , rest is just noice.
So if you are shy, just be honest to yourself, don't try to be the stereotypical cool guy, sometimes it's better when it takes time for people to get to know you.
In my tuitions I was a shy guy but in my school I was the complete opposite, so I know the disadvantages of being a shy guy.
Being a shy guy has more advantages than disadvantages.
I will list some,
1. People will never approach you on your own.
2. In social gatherings, the topics to talk about dies quickly because a shy person hardly wants to input something.
3. You have to be very close to someone to talk them out.
4. Persuading shy people isn't easy.
5. They always feel out of the place.
6. They miss company of some very nice people because they were not too keen to make a small talk.
7. Nobody wants to fit in win with them willingly.
How can a shy girl better talk with guys in casual social situations?
Why am I shy around guys that like me?
What are your thoughts on shy guys?
You can not express your feelings at the right time and will think after that I should have said this and that
People will not be able to recognize your true self at the beginning, they will take time to understand you.
You will generally be neglected by general people as they think you are not interested.
People will not come to know about your talents
You just can not go and talk to anyone you like.
If you are very shy, then you may not be able to ask out that girl or guy you are attracted to.
You might also reject many opportunities to go out and have fun because of your fear of meeting new people.
You will not be able to enjoy parties as much. You will find it harder to find a job and relate to your coworkers.
Overall, your life would become more independent of other people.
Many people who are shy also have insecurities and low self-esteem.
Shyness makes you more alone, on both the outside and inside.
So stop being shy and be brave.. Enjoy your moments !!
Shyness is only a con when one begins to self sabotage himself/herself for not being able to do/say what they wanted. creating a pressure inside oneself when all one wants is to act but decides against it,that I think is the greatest damage.
I do not even intend to speak of what the other people think because that is only secondary and everyone feels differently about guys who are shy.
There are many drawbacks.There isn't any harm being shy.
You'd be missing out on all the fun and beautiful moments in life.You may turn into an introvert which is the worst thing according to me.
I would say, in short, you'll miss out on LIFE.
Next time ask a question on quora without being 'anonymous', let it be your 1st step to overcome shyness :)
I would say that the biggest drawback would be in terms of not being actually being able to put yourself out there and tell a girl your feelings for her. It increases the chances of being overlooked by someone who has more confidence.
Other than that though, some girls like the shy kid. It has its pluses and minuses. Thanks for the A2A. Godspeed.
Yeah well,one drawback would definitely be that he can A2A a person on quora only by being Anonymous and never really get a satisfying answer.
PS : An Anonymous asked me to answer this question.
Shy guys really have guts
so there is no harm of being a shy guy
It is just the right time they wait for.
Shyness... can be overcome. You just need courage and to learn to have the guts to face whatever it is.
What happens when a shy girl likes a shy guy?
Is it weird that only shy guys like me?
How do I make conversation with a man who's shy and awkward?
Can a guy just be shy or is he avoiding being questioned?
What are some signs that a shy guy likes you?
How can a shy girl better talk with guys in casual social situations?
Why am I shy around guys that like me?
What are your thoughts on shy guys?
How can I approach a guy if I am shy?
Why is my crush shy around me but no one else?
If a guy is quiet/shy and I have a serious crush on him. What should I do?
What happens when a shy girl likes a shy guy?
Is it weird that only shy guys like me?
How do I make conversation with a man who's shy and awkward?
Can a guy just be shy or is he avoiding being questioned?
What are some signs that a shy guy likes you?
This site doesn't go into dating advice, with this article being a semi-exception. Over the years several women have written me to tell me reading this site has helped them understand the actions of a shy guy they were pursuing. With that in mind I thought I'd try to be even more helpful and write a whole article outlining what it's like to be a man who's really shy and inexperienced with women. At the end I give a few thoughts on what to do if there's a shy guy in your life you're interested in.
Combined, the points below describe a guy who's really, really inhibited and awkward around women. Not all shy men deal with issues that intense or will have every characteristic apply to them. As with all the other writing on this site, the points here are from a mix of my own experience and accounts I've come across of how shy men say they think.
I also wrote a follow up to this article on some of the unique issues shy women struggle with.
I'll break this down further below, but their central problem is that they're just really anxious, scared, and inhibited around women. Almost all men get a little nervous when they have to ask a woman out, make a move to kiss her, or even talk to her for the first time. But when a guy is really shy his nervousness is at a level where it usually prevents him from doing any of those things. It's legitimately strong, not something where they can just take a deep breath and push through. Sometimes this nervousness shows up as the physical symptoms of anxiety. At other times it's more of a powerful, paralyzing hesitation. Like they know how they want to act, but it's like an invisible force field is preventing them from doing so.
This could mean feeling too anxious to start a conversation with an attractive stranger they've just noticed at a party. It can also be longer term. Some shy guys, especially younger ones, have had a crush on someone for years and have never worked up the nerve to talk to her. The occasional time that someone they fancy talks to them first they often get too flustered, and the resulting brief conversation consists of some stuttered half-coherent answers on their part.
That's not to say a shy guy won't sometimes be able to chat to someone he's into, but it's relatively rare. Sometimes they just won't get nervous around her for whatever mysterious reason. At other time they can force themselves to do it, but they're a total mess inside the whole time.
One problem that can plague shyer guys is that sometimes their nervousness doesn't appear when they first meet a woman, but comes back to bite them soon after. Initially they manage to come off as calm and charming and make a good impression, but then fall apart when the stakes get higher. The reason is that when they first run into that woman she's new and they haven't had time to overthink things and develop any nervous feelings for her. They'll come away from the interaction feeling excited and optimistic about where things may lead.
However, now they have a reason to feel pressured and jittery around her, and that's exactly what happens. The scenario then goes in one of the following directions:
This 'setting them up, but not following through' scenario can happen to different degrees. The first is when a guy simply sees a woman around a few times and makes confident eye contact with her. She seems attracted and intrigued and like she's waiting for him to approach her. He sees this, gets nervous, and never conjures up the guts to speak to her.
Another variation is when a guy runs into a woman, say because he randomly sits beside her in a lecture, chats to her for a bit, and comes off well. She seems interested. Enter the pressure. He can't work up the nerve to talk to her another time. A third scenario might be something more drawn-out, like a guy has a few conversations with a woman he never really thought of as more than someone friendly to talk to. He notices she seems like she's becoming attracted to him, and he blows things soon after.
Sometimes a guy will be able to talk to a woman he's interested in, often because the circumstances put them together so the onus wasn't on him to approach anyone. If he likes someone he'll often feel too nervous to ask her out and face the awkwardness and risk of rejection that entails. He may never invite her on a date, or put it off so long that by the time he does the moment has passed.
Even with all of the above stacked against him, a shyer, inexperienced guy will sometimes have enough things go his way that he'll end up in a position where he's alone with a woman and has a chance to 'make a move' (e.g., kiss her, put his arm around her, etc.). Unsurprisingly, they're really nervous and hesitant about this as well. Same general discomfort and risk of rejection.
He may have a blatant, all-systems-go opportunity where the woman is clearly interested, but he can't manage to go through with it. There he is, sitting on a couch watching a movie with his date when the credits start to roll. She turns to face him, looking into his eyes expectantly. He returns her gaze and pauses for a moment, and a little longer, and a bit longer still... then he gets up says he better drive home before it gets too late. Afterward he's kicking himself for being so spineless. He was trying to work up the nerve to kiss her all evening, and kept wondering if now was the right time to do it, but in the end he couldn't pull the trigger.
One key fear guys have in this situation if they're sexually inexperienced is that their embarrassing secret will be outed, and they'll be humiliated. They may think something like, "I've never kissed a woman. I don't know what I'm doing. What if she can tell I've never done this before?" Naturally they feel caught in a crappy Catch-22 where they need some experience to feel confident making a move, but they can't feel confident making a move until they have some experience.
And when you're really inexperienced yourself it seems that's pretty much every woman. Part of this comes from a belief that no woman would be interested in a shy guy if she's had already had a few boyfriends. It also goes back to that point I mentioned in the last paragraph about them fearing their inexperience being outed.
This hinders shy men in two ways. First, they'll often rule out more-obviously experienced women as prospects. Too scary. Only harmless, innocent-seeming women don't arouse their fears. But there are only so many women out there who are just as shy and inexperienced as them, so it really cuts down their possibilities, and makes them put that much more pressure on themselves when they do find one who fits the description.
Secondly, if he's into a woman, and she seems into him, and she says something that draws attention to her comparatively higher level of experience (e.g., mentioning an ex-boyfriend), he may get dejected and give up on her. She seems a lot more daunting now. And they figure, why would she want him? She has experience, he doesn't. It'd never work out.
On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.
It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training.
With time many anxious guys can slowly face their fears and gain enough experience with the opposite sex that they're not as held back by their anxiety as they used to be. They can start dating like everyone else. However, they may always have a tougher time of it than some men. They're often late bloomers, since their nerves and general social awkwardness kept them from getting into the dating game as early as everyone else.
When a guy is shy and unconfident about his love life insecure thoughts often flow through his head in an effortless stream - "I'm hopeless. I'll never get better. I suck with women. I'm a loser. I'm not good looking enough. There's no way that woman at work actually likes me. I totally screwed up with her the other day when I made that dumb joke. I give up."
It's all quite self-sabotaging. First, a lack of confidence isn't super-attractive. Next, they can be hyper-alert for any signs of rejection, and almost eager to conclude the worst. For example, if they're casually chatting to a woman and she mentions a TV show that he doesn't like, he may get deflated and think, "Ah man, she likes that show? There's no way she'll be into me now. Dammit, another prospect hasn't panned out. Story of my life. I'll never meet anyone."
A lot of what I've mentioned so far hints at this. It's hard to explain, but almost unconsciously shy guys can have the attitude that in order to get a girlfriend the world has to send them one packaged in such a way that they won't feel anxious or have to do anything that pushes them out of their comfort zone. They figure everything will finally work out one day when they stumble onto a woman who naturally likes them, who they won't have to take the initiative to talk to, who they won't have to ask out, and who has the magic combination of qualities which ensures he never feels nervous around her.
It's also really common for shyer guys to fantasize about meeting a really forward, take charge woman who makes all the scary moves for them. She asks him out, she kisses him first, etc. However, if a guy is really shy he may still balk in the face of someone so direct, and still miss his chance.
The idea that if they want a girlfriend they'll have to actively work on finding one, or that they'll have to learn to cope with their nervousness, isn't on the map. Nope, they just have to meet the perfect woman under the perfect circumstances, where they'll be guided by rails with no room to screw up. They have thoughts such as: "Well I didn't meet any women this semester. Maybe in next semester's classes I'll randomly end up sitting beside the person of my dreams", or "Maybe at my job the woman I like will be assigned to work on a project with me all day", or "Maybe this time when I go to the bar and just stand around all night a woman will walk up and seduce me."
When a guy is shy and inexperienced with women he usually isn't immersed in female company or the dating and hook up scene. He may also be socially inexperienced or isolated in general, because he likes to keep to himself or doesn't have a ton of friends. That means shy guys get their ideas of what dating and girlfriends and relationships are like from sources like movies, Tv shows, the internet, and snippets of conversation they've heard from other people.
Shy guys can develop a caricatured, romanticized view of relationships, because they've seen too many romantic comedies or high school dramas with Hollywood endings. According to their 'education' the beautiful cheerleader always wants a caring, sensitive guy who likes her for her. The female lead wants a nice guy to save her from the all the jerks she normally attracts. Women are sweet, innocent creatures that need to be nurtured. Shy guys have a blind spot for the reality that some women might get drunk and make out with a hot guy just for the hell of it, or that they could have a friend-with-benefits, or that they would want to casually date a few people at once.
This can make shy guys pretty clueless about dating protocol. People in a guy's age group may not even really 'date' at all, but he wouldn't know it because that's what people do in the movies and on TV. They may wonder things like: "How exactly do you ask a woman out?", "Are you really supposed to have that first kiss on her doorstep at the end of the night?", "Am I supposed to take her out for dinner and a movie?"
Continuing on the theme of having an over-romanticized view of dating: When a shy, inexperienced guy finds a woman he likes, his thoughts often aren't, "She seems fun. Maybe we can hang out a few times and see where it goes." No, it's more likely to be, "She's the one. She's my dream girl. I just want to cuddle her by the ocean for hours as we watch the shooting stars above." Besides from being kind of cheesy and over the top, this thinking contributes to their nerves because it puts too many expectations on things - The woman they've just noticed in class could be their soul mate. Boy, better not screw that one up.
Since they don't try to create their own options, whenever a half-decent woman comes into the life of a shy guy through school, work, or his social circle, his mind immediately leaps to, "Could this be the one??? Is this the woman I'll end my streak of loneliness with?" They may start a new job, chat to one of their female co-workers about the weather for two minutes, and go home that night and daydream about dating her. They'll quickly get infatuated and preoccupied, constantly wondering if it's going to all work out with her.
What's weird is, objectively these women often aren't even that appealing to the shy guy, or he obviously wouldn't be her type. However, because they have so few options, and are so desperate to meet someone, any minimally friendly woman they meet instantly becomes a possibility. They almost have to like these women, what other choice do they have? If it later seems like things won't work out - which is likely since he's just invested a throwaway casual interaction with too much meaning - he'll get demoralized. But it won't be long before he's fi
Diana King - Shy Guy - YouTube
What are the cons of being a shy guy? - Quora
Inside The Mind Of Guys Who Are Shy And... | www.succeedsocially.com
Do Girls Like Shy Guys? - 10 Real reasons why they actually love them.
I'm the shy guy β TryHardNinja | ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈ ΡΠ΅ΠΊΡΡ ΠΏΠ΅ΡΠ½ΠΈ | Lyrsense
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Being A Shy Guy
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