Been Having Sex

Been Having Sex




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DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife has been having sex with other men.
She mocks the size of my manhood and says I’m rubbish in bed. I feel so low.
My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.
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We have been together for 15 years. Within months of our wedding she was off having sex with another man.
I stupidly forgave her. She went on to sleep with my best mate too. I was devastated.
She didn’t care that I was upset, so I had sex with a girl I met in a club. My wife found out and she went mad.
I’m now 37, she is 35 and we have three children aged six, ten and 12.
I went away to work in the Middle East four years ago for six months.
When I came home she said she’d been having sex with other men and she didn’t want to have sex with me.
When I tried to cuddle her, she would leap away from me as if she had touched a hot flame.
She would laugh at my wedding tackle and tell me that the other men were much bigger and better than me.
If we did have sex, she would push me off her right in the middle of doing it.
Now it’s like our roles have reversed. She wants to control everything and wants sex all the time.
LOSS of sex drive affects around one in five men and up to 50 per cent of women.
Self-help techniques could be a remedy.
Practical tips and expert advice are given in my e-leaflet on Reviving Sex Drive.
I’m the quiet one and when she says, “Jump”, I ask, “How high?”
We had a register office wedding with some witnesses from the street, as she wanted that.
Now, she wants a “lush wedding” despite us being already married.
When I said I didn’t want another wedding, she said: “When this Covid thing is over, I’m divorcing you and finding somebody who can give me the wedding of my dreams.”
I don’t want to waste money on another wedding, but I’ve been trying to find a clinic to help me increase my penis size as this may improve things.
When we are alone, I feel humiliated about what she says to me, but I feel I should stay with her for the children’s sake. She’s a good mum but not a good role model for our kids.
DEIDRE SAYS: No one should stay in a miserable marriage just for the sake of the children as an unhappy home is damaging for them but, as a loving dad, you do owe it to them to at least try to sort out this mess.
Your wife may be the one doing most of the cheating and making cruel comments but she doesn’t sound happy either.
She throws cruel jibes at you but it doesn’t sound like you two have talked about how you are feeling underneath.
Why does she want another wedding and what does it symbolise?
I get the feeling she wants your relationship to work too but first you both need to do some difficult talking.
DEAR DEIDRE
I hired a private detective to catch my partner having sex with escorts
HE WON'T LEAVE
My brother's abusive girlfriend controls his money but he won't leave her
I NEED MORE
Sex with new man is amazing but he never stays the night or has a meal with me
CAN'T BE HAPPY
I feel insecure and worried my boyfriend of two years will cheat on me
I'M WORRIED
Mum is sad & lonely but I can't give the help she needs as I live too far away
UNDER PRESSURE
We are desperate to have a baby but I am experiencing erection problems
Couple counselling could help you – see relate.org.uk and tavistockrelationships.org.
Increasing your penis size is unlikely to improve your sex life but my e-leaflet on Thrilling A Woman In Bed could help you reassure yourself you’re not lacking technique.
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Sex is typically a private matter, but sometimes another person might come in the room making it more public – and not in a sexy way. That other person might be your dad, your best friend or a complete stranger, who out of no where catches you in the act making you wish the ground will swallow you up.
We asked girls in the UK for the worst times they've been caught having sex – and honestly, they're making me feel a little bit nauseous.
I was at a house party when I was 17 having sex with the guy whose house it was in his sister’s room. Everyone knew it was happening so shit loads of people burst in to take the piss out of us. That was embarrassing. But I hadn’t seen anything yet.
We continued having sex, lights were off, everything was fine. But then he started fingering my nose, which was like, super weird. I went along with it cos I thought 'I dunno maybe he’s into this kind of stuff?', so just carried on. After a while I was like actually nope can’t deal with it and I had to say something. He was like "wtf are you on about I’m nowhere near your nose?"
There was a boy lying next to the bed in the dark with HIS FINGER UP MY NOSE. He had snuck in while everyone else had come to the door and thought it would be hilarious to have a bit of fun. It ruined the sex and I have never ever lived it down. Alice, 22
I had a free house and my boyfriend was round. We were having sex in my room, then suddenly I heard someone coming up the stairs followed by a “cooohey!!” of someone calling my name. I quickly realised it was my cousin, as she had a key to my front door. Whilst she was coming up the stairs when I was on top of my boyfriend. There was a bottle of lube on the bed. In a state of panic I pushed him off the bed so he fell down the side, and told my cousin to wait outside my door as i quickly put a dressing gown on.
Thinking I’d got away with it, I opened the door to my cousin looking like she’d seen a ghost. Her eyes darted between myself in a dressing gown which barely covered my vagina, the bed which had pillows everywhere, and this bottle of lube which was perfectly sat in the middle of the bed. She obviously thought I’d been having a massive personal fingering session. We stayed there chatting for about five minutes STILL IN MY BEDROOM WITH THE LUBE ON THE BED, and finally she went. I can barely look her the same way to this day. Chloe, 24
I don’t know how this even happened but my ex-boyfriend was driving us both to school. We were both 17 at the time. This was at 7AM. Suddenly he tells me that a road on the way is always reaaaally quiet and for some reason we decide to have sex in a car in the broad daylight like it’s acceptable.
Long story short, we were doing doggy in the backseats and suddenly someone knocks on the window. I really felt my heart stop at that point. Some elderly man on a bike was yelling through the glass while my ex’s pale arse was waving in his face. We quickly drove off and I just curled up in a ball and never wanted to have car sex again. Taliah, 22
It was in Napa and I had gone back to my hotel room with this guy. We got down to it and I began hearing my friend shouting my name but ignored it and carried on. A few minutes later there’s a knocking at the window with shouts of “I’ve got chicken nuggets for you!” I chose not to reply but before I knew it, there was a torch light on me and the poor guy. I was on top and in full view of my friend at the window who preceded to drop the chicken nuggets and ran away laughing. Rosie, 21
It was after my cousin’s 21st – we had all stayed over because we’d got really drunk, and I’d ended up having sex with one of her friends. We were camped out downstairs in the living room, expecting all the adults to be asleep and everyone to have gone home so we were having sex on the sofa – no blanket or any cover and I was on top. The door to the living room opens and in walks my DAD who had come over early to pick me up which I’d forgotten we had arranged the night before. Literally makes me still want to die to this day. Sasha, 21
I was at a house party when I was 17 and was having sex with some guy in the host’s parents bedroom. Mid sex we were walked in on by the host’s scary coked up brother who shouted at us for having sex in his parents bed and tried to kick us out of the party. So me and the boy obliged, went outside and had sex in a Fiat 500 instead. Then I snuck back into the party and just avoided being in the same room as the scary brother all night. It actually worked. Emma, 20
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