Bedroom Sex Ideas
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Bedroom Sex Ideas
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25 Kinky Sex Positions Even Shy Women Should Try
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Okay first things first: Kinky sex isn't just about spanking.
Not that spanking is off limits or anything... Kink includes a whole spectrum of behaviors beyond BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism) though. It could involve anything from role playing, to blindfolds and feathery props, to having a threesome, or even doing some Broad City- style pegging .
“Kink is a broad term that generally refers to sexual practices that are ‘non-normative’ in that they extend beyond typical or common sexual behaviors,” explains Michael Aaron , Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and sexologist in New York.
The biggest rule: If you and your partner are both interested in kinky sex , have an open conversation about what it is about kink that's a turn-on, and what you're comfortable trying, says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and sexologist, and director of The Intimacy Institute in Colorado. "Having a game plan and setting up a safe word is important,” she says.
From there,“take baby steps,” says Skyler. “Enjoy it, get acclimated, and then take a few more baby steps. Keep exploring until you find what feels good for you.”
If you’re not quite ready to dive in, watching a movie with an element of kink can be a great place to get some ideas, according to the experts (not to mention, a perfect way to heat up movie night). Just don’t make it porn, advises Skyler. “There are a lot of really bad and unsafe examples of BDSM in porn,” she explains.
For the record, the experts also don’t recommend 50 Shades of Grey , since not everyone in the kink community agrees with the way BDSM is portrayed in the film. Instead, cue up The Secretary on Netflix, advises Aaron.
Chances are, you have a scarf, a sleep mask, or a tie laying around your bedroom somewhere—tying one on deprives you (or your partner) of one of your main senses, making all the others—touch, taste, smell, sound—all the more electrifying. “In doing this, you can experience pleasure in a different way,” explains David Ortmann, L.C.S.W., a psychotherapist and sex therapist in New York and California. Blindfolding also underscores a kinky power imbalance, he says, leaving your partner at the mercy of your touch.
On that note, belts, ties, and scarfs can also be an easy, un-intimidating way to experiment with restraint (a.k.a. bondage). “Really, trying it out is as simple as using a bandana or scarf to restrain someone’s hands," Ortmann says.
You can also pick up a beginner's kink kit that includes things like blindfolds and fuzzy handcuffs, says Skyler. “Most sexuality stores sell beginner packages that also include things like a feather on a stick for sensation play or a soft flogger for spanking,” she says.
Before you freak out, BDSM dungeons can actually be a great place to observe kinky sex from the sidelines—the experts really recommend them. “Many local dungeons have beginner classes where you can practice things like rope tying and spanking,” says Skyler. This is also a great place to learn some kink safety tips.
But if you draw the line at the word “dungeon,” check out classes on kink that are offered by your local sex-positive sex shop to pick up some kinky tips in the bright light of day. Ortmann recommends The Pleasure Chest. “The people in there will treat you like you’re at Macy’s trying on a blouse—it’s very not scary,” he says.
Spanking can be a surprisingly intimate way to get into kink. “It can be something that’s actually bonding because it's tactile and involves skin-to-skin contact,” explains Ortmann. “But it also involves a power exchange.” Start light—a swat with your hand or a fuzzy padded flogger from your local sex-positive shop can be a good way to ease into things.
Whether your fantasy is a silk French maid get-up, hot cop outfit studded with leather, or a fuzzy animal print catsuit, costumes can be a fun way to get kinky. “Something I might say is 'we haven’t played with clothing yet—tell me what would make you feel sexy and naughty to be dressed in and tell me what turns you on to see me in,'” Ortmann says. This can also be a great segue into role playing.
Good old fashioned dirty talk can be a great way to start playing with the power dynamics that are so prevalent in kinky sex. “There are things that we can say to our partners to push their buttons,” Ortmann explains. For example, some kink connoisseurs find that being called derogatory names during sex gets them off.
Just tread carefully. “If something is loaded, like the word ‘whore,’ you want to check in with your partner before you use it,” says Ortmann. “Learn which words are powerful for them in a positive way—do they want to be coaxed and seduced or ordered?”
“Urinating on your partner [or being urinated on] is more common than people realize—it’s a hugely intimate act,” Ortmann says. “It can be incredibly humiliating and degrading for the receiver and incredibly powerful for the giver.”
It’s not for everyone, but if this kink has you intrigued, get your feet wet (pun intended) in the shower, Ortmann advises. Next time you’re taking a steamy shower together, ask your partner how they would feel if you peed. “The safest place to start that is really in the shower—you’re going to be clean in two seconds,” he says.
Voyeurism—giving your partner a strip tease, letting your partner watch you touch yourself, or simply enjoying being objectified while naked—is a more approachable kink. “It has a power dynamic but not a tremendous one,” says Ortmann. “It’s not so psychologically deep that you can’t just trade roles after 10 minutes.”
See a few interesting ideas but still shy about initiating? “I recommend couples use menus,” says Aaron. Here’s how it works: On your next date night, write down which kinky sex ideas sound interesting and have your partner do the same. When you’re done, swap menus and pick two things from each others' lists, Aaron explains.
“Now you’ve collectively chosen four items and need to collaborate on how to put a scene together,” he says. For example, come up with a story to role play that involves a little dress up, blindfolding, and getting spanked. “It can be a lot of fun sexually," says Aaron, "plus, working together this way also improves the relationship and intimacy."
Posted on September 28, 2010
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Without equivocation, the master bedroom is the most important room in your residence. It is the personal and secret place where you and your spouse can take off the blues after a long day, imagine, dream, communicate and listen, caress and engage in some of the most sensual acts that defy imagination.
However, for many married couples, their sanctuary is neglected over time, and it becomes more like an untidy living room with clothes, old socks, briefcases, stained carpet, laptops and dusty books and magazine. As the hue of leaves begin to change into the beautiful autumn colors, wouldn’t it be nice to transform your bedroom into a sex room that continually sizzles with warmth and passion during this wonderful fall season. Here are six ways that you and your spouse can implement this transformation:
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We hereby challenge you to accomplish them all.
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"Most people fall into habits and patterns, which keep sex boring, but having a sexual bucket list reminds you of all the fun and diverse ways to keep sex hot," says SKYN's sex & intimacy expert Dr. Chris Donaghue , PhD, LCSW, CST, ACS. "This list forces couples to keep growing and challenge their complacency. Sexual exploration should be a life-long gift that keeps pleasure as a center point in our lives."
Before you start exploring, the mere act of compiling your sexual bucket list can help you bond with your partner. But what should you put on your list? "A sexual bucket list should be created based on all that one fantasizes about, watches in porn, and happily remembers from past sexual experiences," Donaghue says. "The purpose of the list is a fearless inventory of one's total sexual self—so pull inspiration from everywhere."
We know the options might seem endless, so we're here to assist with a bunch of ideas—plus tips on how to pull them off like a pro.
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