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Anal sex can hurt, that much seems clear. But a new study of British teenagers also reveals a few aspects of this sexual activity that are perhaps more surprising.
The researchers interviewed 130 teens ages 16 to 18 from diverse backgrounds, and asked them about their perceptions of different sexual practices, as well as their own experiences. The results showed that most teens' anal sex experiences occurred in a relationship setting, but first experiences with anal sex were rarely under circumstances of mutual exploration of sexual pleasure .
Instead, it was mainly men who pushed the women to try anal sex, and men said they felt expected to take this role. Moreover, the teens expected men to find pleasure in anal sex, whereas women were mostly expected to endure the negative aspects of anal sex, such as pain or a damaged reputation. [ Hot Stuff: 10 Unusual Sexual Fixations ]
Young women in the study reported anal sex as painful, but at the same time, the majority of teens saw women's experience of pain as due to women being "naïve or flawed," and unable to relax, the researchers said in their findings published today today (Aug. 13) in the journal BMJ .
The results also revealed somewhat surprising, and in some cases concerning, aspects of anal sex. However, the findings may not be generalizable to all populations, because they are based on a small study of heterosexual teenagers.
Men compete with each other to have anal sex
Young men in the study appeared to perceive having anal sex as a feat in competition. Even though not all the young men in the study said they wanted to have anal sex, many of them said men encourage one another to try the practice. In a group discussion as part of the study, young men said anal sex was something they do for competition.
A lot of guys didn't really like it
Young men in the study were often keen on the idea of anal sex, but were sometimes unenthusiastic about the physical reality, the researchers said. For example, one interviewee said: "I thought it was going to be a lot better to be honest."
Only one young woman in the study stated slightly positive feelings about having had anal sex. Although she said she was persuaded by her partner to engage in anal sex, she also told the researcher that she was curious about trying it, and had enjoyed her experience.
The researchers found that the teenagers thought women would generally be reluctant to have anal sex, and would participate only if persuaded, or even coerced into it, and that the act might hurt them.
The researchers wrote that it seemed women commonly saw their role as accepting or declining their partner's request for anal sex, rather than being an equal decision-maker about this sexual activity.
"It seemed that men were expected to persuade or coerce reluctant partners," the researchers said.
However, the researchers noted that some young men in the study did say they avoided anal sex because they believed it might hurt their partners.
In some cases, teens reported that anal penetration happened accidentally, because they "slipped." But in one case, a male teenager corrected himself in a second interview, and said that what he had initially referred to as an accident was in fact no accident after all.
"It is difficult to assess the extent to which events described as 'slips' were genuinely unintentional," the researchers said.
The researchers said describing events as "slips" may enable men and women to avoid confronting the possibility that a non-consensual penetration was deliberate.
Teens don't know they can get STDs from unprotected anal sex
The researchers found that many interviewed teenagers didn't know it is possible to get a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from unprotected anal sex. Some actually said that getting an STD via anal sex was impossible, or less likely than for vaginal intercourse, according to the study.
The researchers also found that condoms don't seem to be a frequent element in anal sex, and when they were used, it was for hygiene purposes not STD prevention. [ Quiz: Test Your STD Smarts ]
Porn is only one factor behind anal sex
Participants often mentioned that young men want to have anal sex with women because they want to copy what they saw in pornography . But the researchers said pornography appears to be only one factor in why teens may have anal sex, and the new findings suggest there are also other explanations and motivations involved.
"Current debates about young people's sex lives often seem to focus narrowly on the impact of porn," said lead author Cicely Marston, senior lecturer in social science at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine. "But our study suggests we need to think more widely about the lack of importance society places on women's rights, desires and concerns."
Email Bahar Gholipour or follow her @alterwired . Follow Live Science @livescience , Facebook & Google+ . Originally published on Live Science .
Copyright 2014 LiveScience , a TechMediaNetwork company. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
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Gwyneth Paltrow has imparted her unsolicited advice on many things – from vagina steaming to ex-purging bra-burning – and now she's decided to tell us what she's learned about anal sex.
In the Sex Issue of Goop , Paltrow's lifestyle site, readers are told that if "anal turns you on, you are definitely not alone".
"First it was shocking, then it was having a cultural moment, now it's practically standard in the modern bedroom repertoire – or so a quick scan of any media, from porn to HBO, will tell you,' says Goop. "But the reality about anal is not, actually, that everyone's doing it."
The piece points out that while "somewhere near half" of homosexual men practise anal sex, the number of heterosexual men and women who've tried it "vacillates between 30 and 40 percent".
The piece then offers question-and-answer-based advice from the research psychoanalyst and author Paul Joannides , who has published a book on sexuality called The Guide To Getting It On!
He goes on to explain the health risks of anal sex, how to modify the anal sex seen in porn, how to make sure your anal experience is a positive one and what should we be telling our children about anal intercourse.
So there we have the completely unprompted Gwyneth Paltrow guide to anal sex. You're welcome.

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https://www.thebody.com/article/anal-intercourse-aftercare
When it comes to anal sex, we often discuss preparation (aka the three Ds: dieting, douching, dilating), but we rarely mention what to do after engaging in anal sex. As fantastic as it is, anal sex can be traumatic to the body. If we engage regularly, we need to know how to properly care for the area before, during, and after the fun is said and done.
“Anal sex is a high-pressured act with significant forces at play, all of which can be quite traumatic,” Evan Goldstein, D.O., CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a medical and wellness practice for queer men, tells TheBody. “The anal cavity encompasses skin, muscles, and blood vessels, each of which can be restrictive and limiting. What that means is if someone goes beyond their capacity (i.e., their hole is opened up too wide or with too much force), any of these components can tear or develop other complications.”
The bum doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, and, since spit doesn’t contain the proper lubricity to ease penetration, one must invest in a quality lube (and lots of it) for a more pleasurable sexual experience and to prevent injury.
I favor a thick, water-based lubricant or silicone lube for anal sex, and applying it to the penis or toy, the b-hole, and inside the hole, since penetration often reaches deeper than the rim area. Lube can be applied with a finger (which makes for great foreplay) or, if your toy or partner is large, a lube injector. You can even play with a lubricated toy to both lube and dilate your hole before the action begins.
Goldstein says “overaggressive anal douching” (i.e., douching with too much water or force) and the angle of the top and bottom’s pelvises are additional factors to consider. “Some people like to get creative with complex sexual positions (which are fine, but only once everyone is comfortable) or they’re simply too aggressive when they’re thrusting before the bottom has opened up,” Goldstein explains. “Unfortunately, there are many variables to think about that can increase the chances of potential anal injury—and they all need to be taken into consideration to minimize possible complications.”
Some people, such as myself , favor CBD suppositories when planning for longer, more intense sessions. These rocket-shaped pills ease inflammation and help relax the area––whether a bum or vagina––prior to intercourse. Some CBD oils offer similar benefits.
Whatever you do, do not use numbing lubricants. These have a reputation of masking pain, which is your body’s way of telling you to stop and reassess the situation. “It’s also going to numb his cock as well, which could result in you getting fucked for a very long time and further irritate the area,” adult actor Dallas Steele adds.
After you’ve bottomed, the area will be more sensitive than usual, so run a nice warm bath, spill in some Epsom salts, and bliss TF out. The warm water and Epsom salts will quell the area and relax your muscles. This makes for an opportune time to replay those sexy moments in your mind and clean the area. While a gentle soap will do the trick, you can be extra and purchase a bum exfoliator to clean and buff your booty hole. If you’re still feeling a little raw after your bath, pop an ibuprofen to help with inflammation.
“If, after four hours, you discover going number-two hurts, try using CBD oil, an anal numbing solution, or just regular dental numbing gel like Anbesol,” Steele recommends. “This will lessen the pain while your hole recovers from the pounding.”
After you’ve pooped, inspect the stool for blood. A little bleeding can be expected from time to time, but excessive pain, bleeding, or discharge should not, and you may want to consult a physician.
If you witness any of these symptoms, abstain from anal intercourse until they’re gone. This can take anywhere from a few days to a week to heal. In the meantime, take some Metamucil before bed, and drink plenty of water, so bowel movements are as smooth as possible, and take a sitz bath three to four times a day to keep the area clean. For good measure, use this time to consider how things can be done more carefully next time.
Moving forward, you may also want to reevaluate how you clean your bum after a bowel movement, since wet wipes are no good for your rear, especially if you engage in regular anal intercourse. Due to their ingredients, their moisture, and their material, wet wipes can irritate and even infect your precious booty hole .
Toilet paper can be similarly abrasive, especially when you wipe instead of blot. That’s why you should be using a bidet. They’re a bottom’s best friend and offer a spa-like experience for your tuffet.
To keep your hole in tip-top shape, do some Kegels to tighten your pelvic floor and teach your hole some new tricks. Just insert a toy into your bum, flex, and repeat—it’s as simple as that. Additionally, many adult actors swear by vitamin E to keep their holes camera-ready. Dolf Dietrich , who is no stranger to a gangbang, applies vitamin E oil once per day, both in and around his hole.
Some bum injuries require surgery. At Bespoke Surgical, the most common injury is an anal fissure, a tear in the skin that’s incredibly painful. Other potential consequences could be dilated veins (hemorrhoids), skin tag development (residual hemorrhoids or scarring from tears), anal infections (abscesses), and/or the development of an infected tunnel (anal fistula). All of these can be treated—just make sure you see a sex-positive, queer-friendly doctor who is knowledgeable about the bum.
As you can see, there are a lot of things to consider even after you’ve had butt sex. While these suggestions may not be as important as the planning––Steele insists, “The key to not being sore or even hurting after sex is to be prepared before, and to know your limits and experience level”––anal aftercare is good practice. We put our bums through a lot, and it’s time we give back.
Bobby Box is a freelance writer and certified sex educator. He's currently Grindr's sex columnist and his work has been published in Daily Beast, Playboy , Askmen, Elle , NewNowNext, The Advocate , and more.
© 2022 Remedy Health Media, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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