Beach Piss

Beach Piss




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Beach Piss
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You said, “Here, give me the cup. I’ll fill it up when I go to the bathroom, and then we can get going.”
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I will always savor that first real taste of you.
It was a time of formless, adventurous friendship.
It was January. We both had off work for a holiday and wanted an adventure.
Adventures provided the best way for us to hang out, given our respective busy workweeks and generally conflicting schedules.
I don’t count the times I drank a morning cup at your coffee shop or that we lived in the same building.
It was simply a matter of texting in advance, some time in the week, . . . to explore what we might want to do, where we might want to go.
On prior weekends, we had hit almost all of the small towns in Maryland.
This time, we were driving indiscriminately toward Virginia.
No matter what, we could expect some fun from our time together.
(For one thing, we loved wine, bottles and boxes of wine, and drinking by rivers and up on rocks in rugged parts of Maryland and West Virginia. Nature lovers, we could cherish a retreat from the noise and dirty shittiness of the city. Once in West Virginia, off the road, down on rocks and dipping our hands and feet in the water, we had a moment. I adored the surprise. You chewed a corn chip into a mush, whereupon you tackled me suddenly, hovered over me, restraining my arms and coming down on my mouth for . . . a kiss? No, you pushed the gritty mush into my mouth, laughed and joked that you were feeding baby bird. I chewed it up. Swallowed.)
Like most people, we hated driving by DC, and getting out of range of it, we felt we still needed to pass a number of the Virginia exits on the highway.
Then we saw signs for Virginia Beach and decided, why the hell not? It made our trip there a total of about four and a half hours, toward the end of which we drove under some pretty evergreen trees with sandy sun piercing through rhythmically, growing the excitement against the occasional stop-and-go traffic, as we neared the beachtown.
We parked a couple blocks away from the beach by a mini golf place and a Wendy’s. You noticed a number of ICP-looking guys clowning around on bicycles.
The sun was already on its way down. We dashed to the wintry beach and its ocean waves.
Not so brave, we merely dipped our hands in the waves for a minute to feel the sea’s deep iciness bathe our fingers.
I loved being with you on the beach, though it was cold and the wind kept blowing the sand in our faces.
“Want to check out that main street,” you asked, “find something to eat and maybe get some drinks?”
The sun and white clouded sky gave way to beautiful plum and eggplant purples of night, and the moon lit our way. The streetlamps and remaining Christmas decorations did too. There were these two-dimensional wire Christmas displays with lights on them that had still not been taken down from the holiday. We laughed at the horse one, photographed it, and I had you send a picture of it from my phone to my mom.
Tired and hungry, we walked down the main avenue.
“I don’t want to turn around and just go home tonight when we came all the way here,” I said.
“Let’s look into the hotels,” you replied. “You can call out sick tomorrow.”
The Marriott, we should have known, was too expensive, like $120 for a room, and that was after we had embarrassingly dickered with the concierge, citing how it was off-season.
Back on the street, we walked by several bougie older couples enjoying fine dining, cushioned around competing corporate restaurants’ blazing fire pits.
For our part, we stopped in a shitty place and had burritos and margaritas.
We settled on the whimsical Sea Side Hotel. The guy at the front desk kept our price under $50 and, on learning that we were from Baltimore, tried to talk to us about the Ravens, making some joke. We didn’t get it.
We enjoyed the greenhouse-style pool in the center of the building. The water was refreshingly warm, but the air outside nipped us when we needed to grab swimming clothes from the car.
We wore my old things that were in a bag for Goodwill. You wore my ugly boxers. I swam in underwear. We basically jumped in for a minute and got back out. We shivered and froze in our towels on our way to our room.
I fell asleep and you watched Wife Swap.
We had breakfast in the attached ’50s-style diner where Russian waitresses served us bad coffee and pancakes.
Then you helped me think up an excuse for calling out sick. We sat in my car a minute and decided I had a stomach virus.
However, in the course of the day, my boss still called me and needed the business plan, so we had to pull up my work email on your old Palm Pre, and we found the means to appease my boss.
We visited the tacky beach supply store and got a one and a half liter bottle of shit wine and bought a silly Big Gulp-sized, lidded plastic cup adorned with a cartoon surfer guy who looked like Keanu Reeves. At one point we debated buying an inflatable raft to go out to sea. But we feared, despite the unseasonably warm weather that day, that the waves would be choppy and freezing.
We went walking on the beach and tried drinking from our new cup but spilled wine all over our clothes.
Then in Flipper McCoy’s arcade we played hours of skee-ball, earning reams of tickets to buy prizes. We cheated at the crappy basketball game by reaching over to dunk the balls, but it did not give us extra tickets. We posed for our customary photobooth. We played an old Western game where we got to shoot things.
We drank in the arcade and redoubled our efforts at skee-ball.
When turning in our modest bounty of tickets, we decided we wanted the dinosaurs. The fun old guys at the place surprised us with their generosity, saying, “Have as many as you want.”
After that we started drinking heavily, walked up a side street, and ended in a parking lot. We dumped the rest of the bottle in the cup and killed the cup while talking of nihilistic and stupid things.
We found the worst bar on the strip and decided that we would each down a double-shot of bourbon.
At the start of dark we concluded our adventure at a lame Irish sports bar. We wanted to drink some beers, celebrate one last time, and then hit the road back home. We talked and killed the beers in no time. The bar scene was old, loud and glued to the televisions.
You said, “Here, give me the cup. I’ll fill it up when I go to the bathroom, and then we can get going.”
When you came back, we started walking to my car and you handed me the cup, saying, “I got something for you.”
Without questioning, I took a sip. Tomato soup. Warm, murky. Not entirely bad tasting.
“It’s your pee!” I exclaimed. “You filled this cup with your piss in the bathroom.”
“Yup! You have to drink the whole thing.”
I don’t know why I felt like accepting the challenge, but I did, and it was interesting, to say the least. I took a big gulp this time and got that down. Then I put it in the cup holder of my car and started driving.
“Drink more of it or I’m going to be upset,” you taunted.
So there I was drinking your pee while driving. And damn if I didn’t weirdly like it. I kept telling myself it was fresh and probably healthy. It was not too salty. You could still taste the water in it.
At first, it seemed really doable. Just tomato liquid. I drank most of it over the next couple hours of driving.
I was grinning and smiling to you, saying, “Look, I’m drinking pee.” This is fun, I thought, I love being with you and drinking your pee from this Keanu Reeves cup.
By the time we were almost home, I was taking tinier sips and starting to gag on it. It had grown cold, which made it worse to drink. I did not finish the last quarter of it.
It was remarkable, however. Thanks.
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Qafár af Аҧсшәа bahasa ambon Acèh адыгабзэ адыгабзэ تونسي/Tûnsî تونسي Tûnsî Afrikaans Akan Gegë Alemannisch тÿштÿк алтай тил አማርኛ Pangcah aragonés Ænglisc अङ्गिका العربية ܐܪܡܝܐ mapudungun جازايرية الدارجة مصرى অসমীয়া American sign language asturianu Atikamekw авар Kotava अवधी Aymar aru azərbaycanca تۆرکجه башҡортса Bali Boarisch žemaitėška Batak Toba Batak Toba جهلسری بلوچی Bikol Central беларуская беларуская (тарашкевіца)‎ беларуская (тарашкевіца)‎ български روچ کپتین بلوچی भोजपुरी भोजपुरी Bislama Banjar bamanankan বাংলা བོད་ཡིག বিষ্ণুপ্রিয়া মণিপুরী بختیاری brezhoneg Bráhuí bosanski Batak Mandailing Iriga Bicolano ᨅᨔ ᨕᨘᨁᨗ буряад català Chavacano de Zamboanga Mìng-dĕ̤ng-ngṳ̄ нохчийн Cebuano Chamoru Choctaw ᏣᎳᎩ Tsetsêhestâhese کوردی corsu Capiceño Nēhiyawēwin / ᓀᐦᐃᔭᐍᐏᐣ qırımtatarca къырымтатарджа (Кирилл)‎ qırımtatarca (Latin)‎ čeština kaszëbsczi словѣньскъ / ⰔⰎⰑⰂⰡⰐⰠⰔⰍⰟ Чӑвашла Cymraeg dansk Deutsch Österreichisches Deutsch Schweizer Hochdeutsch Deutsch (Sie-Form)‎ Thuɔŋjäŋ Zazaki dolnoserbski Dusun Bundu-liwan डोटेली ދިވެހިބަސް ཇོང་ཁ eʋegbe Emiliàn Ελληνικά emiliàn e rumagnòl English Canadian English British English Esperanto español español de América Latina español (formal)‎ eesti euskara estremeñu فارسی Fulfulde suomi meänkieli Võro Na Vosa Vakaviti kvääni føroyskt français français cadien arpetan Nordfriisk furlan Frysk Gaeilge Gagauz 贛語 赣语(简体)‎ 贛語(繁體)‎ kriyòl gwiyannen Gàidhlig galego گیلکی Avañe'ẽ गोंयची कोंकणी / Gõychi Konknni गोंयची कोंकणी Gõychi Konknni Bahasa Hulontalo 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺 Ἀρχαία ἑλληνικὴ Alemannisch ગુજરાતી Gaelg Hausa 客家語/Hak-kâ-ngî Hawaiʻi עברית हिन्दी Fiji Hindi Fiji Hindi Ilonggo Hiri Motu hrvatski Hunsrik hornjoserbsce Kreyòl ayisyen magyar magyar (formal)‎ հայերեն Արեւմտահայերէն Otsiherero interlingua Bahasa Indonesia Interlingue Igbo ꆇꉙ Iñupiak ᐃᓄᒃᑎᑐᑦ inuktitut Ilokano ГӀалгӀай Ido íslenska italiano ᐃᓄᒃᑎᑐᑦ/inuktitut 日本語 Patois la .lojban. jysk Jawa ქართული Qaraqalpaqsha Taqbaylit Адыгэбзэ Адыгэбзэ Kabɩyɛ Kabuverdianu Kongo کھوار Gĩkũyũ Kırmancki Kwanyama ဖၠုံလိက် қазақша قازاقشا (تٴوتە)‏ قازاقشا (جۇنگو)‏ қазақша (кирил)‎ қазақша (Қазақстан)‎ qazaqşa (latın)‎ qazaqşa (Türkïya)‎ kalaallisut ភាសាខ្មែរ ಕನ್ನಡ 한국어 조선말 Перем Коми Kanuri къарачай-малкъар Krio Kinaray-a karjal कॉशुर / کٲشُر کٲشُر कॉशुर Ripoarisch kurdî كوردي (عەرەبی)‏ kurdî (latînî)‎ къумукъ коми kernowek Кыргызча Latina Ladino Lëtzebuergesch лакку лезги Lingua Franca Nova Luganda Limburgs Ligure Līvõ kēļ لەکی Ladin lumbaart lingála ລາວ Silozi لۊری شومالی lietuvių latgaļu Mizo ţawng لئری دوٙمینی latviešu 文言 Lazuri मैथिली Basa Banyumasan мокшень Malagasy Ebon олык марий Māori Minangkabau македонски മലയാളം монгол ꯃꯤꯇꯩ ꯂꯣꯟ ဘာသာ မန် молдовеняскэ मराठी кырык мары Bahasa Melayu Malti Mvskoke Mirandés မြန်မာဘာသာ эрзянь مازِرونی Dorerin Naoero Nāhuatl Bân-lâm-gú Napulitano norsk bokmål Plattdüütsch Nedersaksies नेपाली नेपाल भाषा Oshiwambo Niuē Nederlands Nederlands (informeel)‎ norsk nynorsk norsk ᨣᩴᩤᨾᩮᩥᩬᨦ Novial ߒߞߏ Nouormand Sesotho sa Leboa Diné bizaad Chi-Chewa Nyunga occitan Livvinkarjala Oromoo ଓଡ଼ିଆ Ирон لسان توركى ਪੰਜਾਬੀ Pangasinan Kapampangan Papiamentu Picard Deitsch Plautdietsch Pälzisch पालि Norfuk / Pitkern polski Piemontèis پنجابی Ποντιακά Prūsiskan پښتو português português do Brasil Runa Simi Runa shimi Rumagnôl Tarifit rumantsch kaalengo tšimb romani čhib Kirundi română armãneashti tarandíne русский русиньскый armãneashti Vlăheşte Влахесте Vlăheşte Kinyarwanda मारवाड़ी संस्कृतम् саха тыла ᱥᱟᱱᱛᱟᱲᱤ sardu sicilianu Scots سنڌي Sassaresu کوردی خوارگ davvisámegiella Cmique Itom Koyraboro Senni Sängö žemaitėška srpskohrvatski / српскохрватски Tašlḥiyt/ⵜⴰⵛⵍⵃⵉⵜ Tašlḥiyt ⵜⴰⵛⵍⵃⵉⵜ ၽႃႇသႃႇတႆး tacawit සිංහල Simple English Кӣллт са̄мь кӣлл bidumsámegiella ubmejesámiengiälla slovenčina سرائیکی سرائیکی slovenščina Schläsch Gagana Samoa åarjelsaemien julevsámegiella anarâškielâ sääʹmǩiõll chiShona Soomaaliga shqip српски / srpski српски (ћирилица)‎ srpski (latinica)‎ Sranantongo mbia cheë SiSwati Sesotho Seeltersk себертатар Sunda svenska Kiswahili ślůnski Sakizaya தமிழ் Tayal ತುಳು తెలుగు tetun тоҷикӣ тоҷикӣ tojikī ไทย ትግርኛ Türkmençe Tagalog толышә зывон Setswana lea faka-Tonga Tok Pisin Türkçe Ṫuroyo Seediq Xitsonga татарча/tatarça татарча tatarça chiTumbuka Twi reo tahiti тыва дыл ⵜⴰⵎⴰⵣⵉⵖⵜ удмурт ئۇيغۇرچە / Uyghurche ئۇيغۇرچە Uyghurche українська اردو oʻzbekcha/ўзбекча ўзбекча oʻzbekcha Tshivenda vèneto vepsän kel’ Tiếng Việt West-Vlams Mainfränkisch Volapük Vaďďa Võro walon Winaray Wolof 吴语 хальмг isiXhosa მარგალური saisiyat ייִדיש Yorùbá 粵語 Vahcuengh Zeêuws ⵜⴰⵎⴰⵣⵉⵖⵜ ⵜⴰⵏⴰⵡⴰⵢⵜ 中文 文言 中文(中国大陆)‎ 中文(简体)‎ 中文(繁體)‎ 中文(香港)‎ Bân-lâm-gú 中文(澳門)‎ 中文(马来西亚)‎ 中文(新加坡)‎ 中文(台灣)‎ 粵語 isiZulu
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Everything you need to know about piss play, including why people like this particular kink to how to do a golden shower safely.
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While to some, golden showers are the butt of a Donald Trump joke, to others, they are an extremely erotic experience. Golden showers are one form of piss play , which is exactly what it sounds like: sexual play involving piss. Though they may seem easy to make fun of because most of us grew up with bathroom humor, we should probably be nicer when it comes to the topic of golden showers because a lot of people are into them, and kink-shaming isn't cool .
Some people engage in golden showers as part of BDSM . BDSM involves a power exchange in which one partner is submissive and the other partner is dominant. In this particular scenario, the dominant partner typically pees on the submissive. Other people just try them out because they're horny and bored. Let's talk about all the reasons people love golden showers and what you should know if you're interested in trying out this particular kink.
This particular kink is actually incredibly ordinary, according to the experts. "Urophilia — golden showers, piss play, and the like — is such a common kink that there are piss parties full of folks who want to explore this," says New York sex therapist and relationship counselor Michael DeMarco . New York City-based professional and lifestyle dominatrix Goddess Aviva adds, "It’s so common! People love to be peed on. And quite a few of them also like to drink it." In fact, an Australian survey says that around four percent of men have a piss play fetish, and Pornhub stats show that searches for "golden shower" (along with related terms) increased exponentially in 2017 after it was alleged that Donald Trump enjoyed watersports.
There are also quite a few online communities for folks to go who are interested in golden showers. In fact, the "watersports" (another name for piss play) group on the kinky social media website FetLife boasts over 25,000 members. Additionally, there are dating apps and websites specifically tailored to folks looking to find other kinky people to hook up with, including KinkD , BDSM.com , Fetster.com , and more.
Any time you are exchanging bodily fluids, there is going to be some risk. According to Kimberly Langdon, an OB/GYN and clinical advisor at Medzino Health , it's only true that urine is sterile if the person peeing is completely healthy. "Urine can spread disease, including bacterial, fungal, and viral infections," she explains. During a golden shower, this most commonly occurs if the recipient has an open wound.
"Regarding skin contact , urine will usually cause no harm if there are no fissures, broken skin or open wounds," Langdon adds. "If this is, however, the case, then urine can cause infection if the partner urinating has a bacterial infection and the urine comes into contact with wounds and mucous membranes."
So, if you're enjoying golden showers with someone whose health status you are unsure of, make sure there are no open wounds on you, and ask them to aim somewhere besides the mouth, such as on your stomach. Discuss your health with your partner; professional dominatrixes are already on it.
"With anything where you're sharing bodily fluid, you need to make sure that you’re not sick or have any kind of infection. It’s also really important to hydrate. The other factor that you should consider, is how close you are to someone’s mouth. A way to avoid that is to be above them," Goddess Aviva says.
First off, the person performing the golden shower will probably want to drink a lot of water an hour or so beforehand. Like, a lot. It's also important to pick the right place — golden showers probably shouldn't take place in your bed. "If you’re curious about golden showers, an easy way to do it is to be in the shower or bath. And if you’re not really into it, you can rinse it off right away," Goddess Aviva says.
Once you've figured out where it's going to happen (and who it's going to happen with), make sure that all parties know what the plan is and are fully consenting. Consent is the most important part of any sex act, after all. Have everything you want for clean-up nearby, and everyone should have a safe word ready, too.
Remember what we've discussed above — that urine isn't sterile, and that the person receiving the golden shower shouldn't have any open cuts or sores. If this checks out, then you're good to go, but be patient, especially if it's the first time trying this for either of you. Lastly, when you're all done, clean off, and if you feel like it, keep the fun going .
Other than clean-up and potential risks from fluid exchange, should this be something yo
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