Bdsm Tied Positions

Bdsm Tied Positions
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Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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There’s something undeniably arousing about being tied up or tying a partner up in the bedroom. Not only does it change the power structure, facilitating elements of domination and submission, but it also evokes powerful emotions. There’s an immense amount of vulnerability and trust required when sexually bound. These reasons (among others) help to explain why so many people fantasize about BDSM (remember, the B stands for “bondage”). In fact, a 93% of men and 96% of women have fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before.
So what are the best ways to use bondage during sex? If you’re someone who’s curious about bondage sex positions, you might have come across Shibari , a contemporary form of rope bondage that originated in Japan. (Sometimes, it’s also called Kinbaku or Japanese bondage.)
“Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona , a Shibari artist and instructor; some people use it as a form of meditation or as a tool to feel intimate with a partner. However, Shibari can be sexual if you so choose. You can tie your partner up, and the two of you can go at it for hours in various positions. This piece is focused on all the fun, kinky sex you can have when either you or your partner is bound.
But before we continue, safety first! If you’ve never attempted Shibari, consider taking a course or one-on-one class with a professional , because tying someone up can be incredibly dangerous both physically and emotionally. And there are certain things you should never do—like use rope across the neck. This can lead to asphyxiation.
“The number one rule for tying safely is to ALWAYS have safety shears within reaching distance,” Sydona says. “The second is to be able to communicate to your partner well, both as both a top [person doing the tying] and bottom [person being tied]. Being able to communicate explicitly and coherently before, during, and after a session is what keeps it as safe and enjoyable as possible.”
With that said, here are 13 bondage sex positions you can try out with your partner. (You’ll notice the first two “positions” are actually two different types of standard Shibari ties that will allow you to complete every other position on the list.) In addition to speaking with Sydona, we also talked to world-renown, Shibari expert Midori . She's a sexologist, educator, and author of Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . (Midori offers Shibari classes , if you want to learn more advanced knots than the ones offered on this list.)
All you really need to be able to bring bondage to the bedroom is a simple handcuff-style tie, Syonda says. "This is called a 'double column' tie—two loops around two 'columns' (usually two limbs) that doesn’t collapse or self tighten."
"In any tie, but particularly with ties involving the wrists, it’s important to make sure you have plenty of wiggle room between the skin and the rope, and that the tie can’t tighten down on itself," she says. "A tie that does this is both uncomfortable and unsafe and can potentially cause loss of circulation or nerve damage."
To actually complete the double column tie, place your "wrists a couple of inches apart, and then wrap around both wrists," Midori says. "Cross at the middle and wrap around the space between the wrists and then tie two overhand knots." (I know this can be a little confusing without a depiction, so check out this 2-minute tutorial on how to to do a double column tie.) Once you've mastered the double-column wrist tie, you can get creative with it!
"This is a Shibari classic with vast variations," Midori says. "For a super simple way to start, use one or two long ropes, perhaps 25 to 30 feet. Then tie their wrists together behind their back. Use the remaining rope and wrap that around the arms and body. First below the breasts or pecs, then over it. If you connect the check ropes between the arm and torso, you’ll be able to snug it down tightly."
You can play in numerous positions with this one. "It's great for full frontal access to nipples and genitals," Midori says. "It's super hot for face-down anal, too."
"Position your partner on their knees with their behind in the air and chest flat on the bed, floor, couch, etc.," Sydona says. "Pull their arms back and tie their wrists together behind their thighs to their ankles. If this is too tough on their neck, put a pillow under their chest."
While the image here is depicting oral stimulation, you can also do anal and vaginal penetration in this position.
"Bend their legs and tie the thigh and ankle together with an easy release two column tie; then repeat for the other leg," Midori says. It's optional to tie the wrists to the thighs, Midori adds. (That's what's depicted in the image.)
This position allows for "sexy vulnerability" and "access to all the bits" making it great for both giving and receiving oral pleasure. It's also really smooth to transition into bound doggy from this position.
In this position, the bottom's ankles are tied to a pole—make sure to use something that won't give anyone splinters—a PVC pipe could work here or even a long Swiffer handle. The bottom's wrists are tied together.
Midori notes that you feel "delightfully exposed" in this position, and it's "fantastic for bound penetration from behind."
Have your partner lie on their stomach for the hogtie. "Tie their ankles together and their wrists behind their back, then tie those to each other," Sydona says.
"While this isn’t a great position for penetration, it’s great for oral and sets the mood for a BDSM-type session. Don’t forget that this position can be very strenuous on your partner’s back and shoulders, so make sure you have a quick exit plan and check in often."
Lay on one side, and "Tie wrists together with a basic wrist tie. Tie the left ankle to the right thigh, using the same tie as the wrists. Then tie the left thigh to the left upper arm bicep. Make sure it’s not too tight," Midori says. "The body looks amazing in this position and it's hot for spooning sex from behind."
Have your partner sit in a chair and tie their ankles to each chair leg and their wrists behind their back. "This position is great for oral, using toys, or for a good ol’ fashioned interrogation role play," Sydona says. "Pro tip: make sure the back of the chair is against a wall or something stable, so you don’t accidentally push your partner over backward in the heat of the moment."
"Have your partner straddle a chair so their booty is just barely off the edge of the seat and rest their chest on the seat's back," Sydona says. "Tie their ankles to the legs of the chair and their wrists behind their back. This position is great for anal play."
(Note: For this position to work, you need to use a chair without arms. You also want to lean the chair against a wall or bed; you don't want the chair toppling over!)
"Have your partner lie flat on their back on a bed and tie their wrists and ankles to each corner," Sydona says. "For extra spice add a blindfold, and go to town. If you or your partner are new to bedroom bondage this is a great starting position. It's simple to tie, not particularly strenuous, and you can even buy user-friendly under-the-bed restraints if rope isn’t your style."
"Again have your partner lie flat on their back on the bed. Tie each ankle to each corner at the top of the bed, lifting their leg as high as is comfortable for them," Sydona says. "If this is too difficult, tie their thighs instead of their ankles, so they can bend their knees. This position is great for, well, everything."
"With your lover on their back, place a pole under their ankle, just above their heels," Midori says. "Tie each wrist and ankles to the pole, and [make sure to] tie loose enough for wriggle room and to prevent loss of circulation."
This position grants full access penetration to all the orifices, Midori adds.
The Group Project is a rope bondage position for when three people are involved . "Have your partners stand face-to-face with their arms around each other. Tie both partners’ wrists in a classic handcuff tie behind the back of the other," Sydona says.
"From here, you can take a voyeuristic role and watch an inevitable steamy makeout session, or alternate teasing each partner while the other watches at a very close range."

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Jill Hamilton
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.

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Bondage is hot for all kinds of reasons. For many people, it's something new, it's a chance to play around with ideas of power and control, and it can help you tap into things you never knew might turn you on.

Here are some starter bondage positions if you'd like to give it a try. (Caveat: Be SAFE! In BDSM, all discomfort should be the kind you want. Talk all this stuff over first, have a safe word, research equipment beforehand, and remember consent.)
For clarity and your enjoyment, positions are written as though you're the one doing the tying up. But you can easily switch them up should you feel like handing over the handcuffs...
Tie your partner's legs to the headboard (if you have one) or bind their legs to their wrists so they are in a sort of ankles-by-head missionary. Give them a little slap on the ass and say you'll be back in a minute or two, allowing them time to experience the sexiness of being helpless to your whims. When you return, you can choose to be gentle and service them with your mouth, hands, or whatever you've got going on between your legs. Or you can be a little more torturey, spanking them a little, or almost but not quite touching them how they'd like, until they can't take it anymore.
If the dungeon look doesn't exactly match your bedroom decor, try a set of restraints that fits under your mattress. Look for a set with straps and soft cuffs that let you tie your loved one spread-eagled to the bed. Try face-up so they can watch you have your way with them, or facedown so you can toy with their bum and give them a reach-around at the same time. Switch it up with vibrators, or ... actual switches, if you've agreed to that.
Your partner has been identified as a suspect and will require a thorough strip search. Make them take off their clothes and cuff their hands behind their back. Tell them you'll need to blindfold them — it's just standard procedure. Give them an extremely thorough body search, using your hands and mouth. If they squirm or get too turned on, point this out, and you can give them a little swipe with a flogger (less hardcore than a full-on whip or cane). Amp their punishment up or down, according to how you both are responding to it.
Chair bondage is generally a "damsel in distress" kind of thing, but tweak it by putting the guy in the chair. A straight-backed chair is best so you can tie his legs to the chair legs and his arms to the arms (if the chair doesn't have arms, you can secure his wrists together behind the chair, or even to his own thighs.). Thoroughly rev him up, give him a slow strip tease, providing him plenty of time to want you even more. Tease him by stroking yourself in front of him until you're about to orgasm and he can scarcely take it. When he begins to beg, that's when he can have you. Actually, let him beg, then make him wait a tiny bit longer, then climb aboard and have your way with him.
Have your partner get on their knees with their shoulders touching the mattress and their arms stretching back straight along the mattress between the legs. Push their ankles apart and tie their wrists together. Take advantage of their vulnerable position by trying things you've talked about before (see above: consent) but haven't actually tried. If, for example, it's your guy and butt stuff, try use a well-lubed hand to stroke his penis, do a little ball handling, and rub his inner thighs 'til he's all relaxed and open. Start rubbing along the crack of his bum, dripping lube into it and grazing the actual hole region. Then slide a finger in slowly and gently. Depending how he reacts, you can go to a full-on finger fuck while continuing to stroke.
Jill Hamilton writes the blog In Bed With Married Women . Follow her on Twitter .

The Best Bondage Positions For Sex And BDSM
I do particularly like the aesthetic of the position when used like this… it’s very cute in that adorably submissive way.
This is usually the most comfortable variant of the “wrists behind the back” bondage positions. For most people, it works really well.
Ideally the pillow will be more beneath the butt for that arch.
This significantly increases the vulnerability and the feeling of restriction; as well as the inescapability of your bondage
This is my one of my absolute favorite bondage positions for any and all BDSM and kinky sex purposes.
You generally want to use a double column tie, and have the person hang onto the rope above them if they’re standing.
And access to ALL of the back. I freaking love this bondage position.
Really useful for people with joint strains or previous injuries
Having the arms tied to themselves is a great way to get a playful scene
Here we have a person with a double column tie around the ankles, and then the rope is laddered up their legs and tied off around their waist.
Probably one of the most “classic” bondage positions

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One of the most annoying things when planning kinky sex, BDSM, or a bondage scene, is realizing you don’t know which bondage positions to use for what you have planned.
In order to prevent that from happening, I’ve decided to help you out, by creating a simple guide to the BEST bondage positions for sex and BDSM!
I’ll cover the advantages and disadvantages of each position, and also the feelings which each bondage position tends to create – this is really helpful so you know how you’ll be affecting the person you’re playing with.
Note: All the information and how-to for the ties used here can be found in Rope Bondage The Smart Way – basically a giant notebook designed to help you learn and use rope bondage for hot times as fast as possible .
We’ll cover bondage positions involving the arms, and then move on to the positions for the legs later.
There are also a couple of variants for people with limited flexibility!
Feelings : Only slight sense of vulnerability . Generally, most rope bottoms consider this position to be very light bondage play.
However, if you are holding the end of the line attached to the wrist tie, it creates a sense of being led, controlled . That can be quite useful. It then inspires feelings of submission and having given power to someone else .
This is because you’re still demonstrating power through moving their wrists and arms around, rather than them doing it themselves.
Notes : As stated, this is pretty small game in terms of power play. However, the advantage is that it’s VERY useful for first introducing someone to bondage and being tied the first time. You want to start light. For a first timer, even this can feel quite intense.
This bondage position is ALSO good for control/dominance/submission games, when you use it as a lead or leash, or for having your person perform tasks in bondage – leaves them just enough mobility to do things for you
Feelings : More intense vulnerability and helplessness.
The great advantage to bondage positions where the hands are tied behind the person’s body is that it generally creates a feeling of having had a significant amount of their power taken away. Thus it makes for a more intense experience.
This is basically the reason we tend to tie hands first, or don’t feel that a person is truly “bound” unless their hands are removed from play; because there is so much power and efficacy in your hands and arms.
When tying hands behind the back, it’s safest to do it with wrists facing each other.
This protects nerves, tendons, and blood vessels from the pressure of the rope.
When using the above bondage position, you can place someone on their back if they’re on a soft surface e.g. a bed; it’s not particularly comfortable on a hard surface. Sometimes you can prop a pillow beneath them to create more space between their back and the bed.
Feelings: Female: Sexually objectified . Male: Where the hell did my upper body strength go? Helplessness, restrained , powerless .
Notes: Any time you tie the elbows, you have to adjust the space between them to suit the person you’re tying, due to a huge range in flexibility between different people. Lots of people can’t really have their elbows tied at all.
Another important note is to tie above or below the elbows, not actually on the elbows.
When you do tie elbows, you significantly reduce the person’s arm movement and leverage. That takes away a LOT of power. It also makes a person push their
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